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Amy

Pulaski, WI

#1 Oct 27, 2013
Obama is no knuckle dragger, he has very short arms. You have probably noticed this when you see him jogging up and down the steps of Air Force One.
His arms are so short that he has a problem reaching down and unzipping his pants when standing at the urinal. Therefor, he has hired Gary Coleman to follow him around to ...... unzip him, reach in, grab it, pull it out, and aim it.......... Gary is reported to be ecstatic about his new roll in government.

When asked to comment on his new job, Gary responded, "Wid so many people out of work,Ah is one luckeh f***in lil dwarf"

“New & Improved..”

Level 8

Since: Oct 07

Formerly From Kenya

#2 Oct 27, 2013
You do understand that although your point is somewhat valid that Gary Coleman has been dead for over three years now...perhaps you were thinking of another black midget..

“A Time for laughter and ...”

Level 3

Since: Apr 13

A Time to be candid.

#3 Oct 27, 2013
Last week I heard the most ridiculous commentary on the news about the White House opening back up for the tourist. Seriously?

They said they had to stop for a bit due to lack of funds. How Ironic!

Level 5

Since: May 13

Location hidden

#4 Oct 28, 2013
Are these tourists screened well?
Amy

Pulaski, WI

#5 Oct 28, 2013
Michelle's Diary:

Today ah went out shoppin. Before Ah went, Bo says to me, obey all deh signs and doan get in eneh trouble.......... Ah was walkin down deh aisle an deh sign said, Pet Supplies, 3 hours later, two guys in white coats an a big net showed up an took meh away.......... 2 hours later deh secret serviceshowed up an bailed meh out..........Ah aint goin f**kin shoppin no moh.

Level 5

Since: May 13

Location hidden

#6 Oct 28, 2013
What does this have to do with tourists being screened well?
Amy

Pulaski, WI

#7 Oct 29, 2013
Michelle's Diary:
Today we took deh big airplane to Germany. We had lunch with Angela Merkel. Ah ordered deh imported Port o guese, cause ah likes goose, next best tuh chicken. During deh meal deh krauts at deh table kept pointing at me chuckling, and going woof woof. Muh goose tasted OK, but after deh meal ah asked deh waitress how come muh goose had such a short neck and 4 drumsticks???? How deh Hell was ah supposed tuh know that the imported Port o Guese was a dog, just like our Bo. This place should be carpet bombed flat.

“We're all Bozos on this bus”

Since: Jan 07

Indianapolis, IN

#8 Oct 29, 2013
Gary Coleman is dead! An urgent call has been placed to the Lollipop Guild, the Lollipop Guild, the Lollipop Guild... for a replacement.
Amy

Pulaski, WI

#9 Oct 30, 2013
Michelle's Diary:
Today weh done took deh big airplane to Saudy Arabia. Weh had lunch wid a bunch of those sand monkeh Mullahs. After deh lunch, deh Mullahs wanted Bo tuh mount a 2 hump camel deh had in the parking lot, for a photo shoot ....... It went ok for a while but then deh camel started actin up. Bo did deh dest he could, hangin on to deh back hump wid 2 hands, thrusting away, wid his pants down around his ankles. Deh mullahs almost bust eh gut laughin . How deh Hell was muh Bo supposed tuh now deh wanted him tuh sit on eh hump.
Mia

Pulaski, WI

#10 Oct 31, 2013
I'm going to Church this Sunday .......... Please join me in Prayer for Obama to develop a brain.

“No time like the present”

Since: Jul 08

to make it happen!

#11 Oct 31, 2013
Mia wrote:
I'm going to Church this Sunday .......... Please join me in Prayer for Obama to develop a brain.
Your God doesn't have that kind of power.

“*Merry Christmas*”

Level 8

Since: Nov 12

Greensburg, IN

#12 Nov 1, 2013
What the Lord giveth He can take away, so it stands to reason He can do the opposite.
Just not one like Joes Lord, please.
Reverend Roy

Pulaski, WI

#14 Nov 1, 2013
I'm going to Church this Sunday .......... Please join me in Prayer for Obama to develop a brain.

He was on TV this morning...... We must Pray harder .......... much harder.

“New & Improved..”

Level 8

Since: Oct 07

Formerly From Kenya

#15 Nov 1, 2013
Perhaps you're prayin' to the wrong omnipotent..

I suggest a new strategy, Let the Wookie win..
Reverend Roy

Pulaski, WI

#16 Nov 3, 2013
Prayers alone aren't doing it. I believe the Clod-Hopper is possessed by the Devil and must be exorcised. I will begain the process tomorrow.
Reverend Roy

Pulaski, WI

#17 Nov 5, 2013
Obama, today is the day your eyes will open wide and see the light. Are you comfortable?

"Yes I am"

Good, Friar Eunuch will assist me. Not to worry, Friar Eunuch has a degree in eclectics.
We will use the 5 step approach.

Step 1.
disrobe

Step 2.
Eunuch will hand-cuff you to the ceiling

Step 3.
2 electric wires will be inserted into your caboose hole

Step 4.
The amperage will be turned on for a mili-second at a time until your hooha stiffens up.... don't worry about the snapping sound and the smell, that's just a few stray hairs burning off.

The Amperage will now be increased until the sticky Devil comes shooting out the end of your hooha .......... quiet, I thing, I think I hear him comming now. gurgle .... gurgle ,gurgle ......... gurgle gurgle gurgle ..... sprootch > > > plotch. The exorcism is now complete. Say Amen.

"Amen"

Your bill is $4.000 Electricity isn't cheap you know.

“*Merry Christmas*”

Level 8

Since: Nov 12

Greensburg, IN

#19 Nov 10, 2013
The rumors your hearing about Barry going to paint the White House black are just that-rumors.
Michelle as decided on candy stripe for the porch pillars, green with purple trim and yellow doors for the rest of the building.
The rose garden will be dug for spring planting of watermelon, collard greens, and honey suckle around the chicken house to be built by Barrys Czars Which will allow them to share the garden produce.
The Interior will take on rainbow colors befitting the gender of both Barry & Michelle. Guest rooms will be accented with shades of pink, blue, and gold lace of foreign architectural influence (Islamic)and the windows will all be done in
Arabesque.
Add this to your fictitious stories.
Amy

Pulaski, WI

#20 Nov 11, 2013
Reverend Roy, have you ever had to use Voltage 220 instead of 110?

Yes we have, but his teeth became amangamated, you know, welded together .......... Now, when he speaks, he sounds a lot like Greta VanSusteren.
Mia

Pulaski, WI

#21 Nov 11, 2013
Today's Poll Question:

If Iran builds an atomic bomb, should the missle carrying it go astray and bury itself deep in Oprah Winfree's monsterous, lard ladened, fat dripping, black caboosier befor detonating?

After all, it was Oprah's multi-million doller campaign contributions that elected numb-nuts in the first place.
Michelles Diary

Pulaski, WI

#22 Nov 12, 2013
Ah is fartin like eh Clydesdale horse dis morning an ah has to appear on deh view today. Woe is me, woe is me, wad should ah do, wad should ah do?
Michelle Obama

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