~ Write a Greeting Card - Just For T...

~ Write a Greeting Card - Just For The Fun Of It ~

Posted in the Weird Forum

First Prev
of 2
Next Last

Since: May 10

Location hidden

#1 Sep 4, 2011
Happy Birthday!

I'm surprised
you made it
another year.

Since: May 10

Location hidden

#2 Sep 4, 2011
Sorry For Your Loss~

But, you should
have known
that your car
would get repossessed
if you skipped
that many payments.
DirtDevil

Sandy, TX

#3 Sep 4, 2011
Thinking of you at this difficult time....
Praying for a full recovery from your ______( fill in the blank...)
1. Vasectomy
2. Boob job
3. Liposuction
4. Penile Implant
5. Ponzi Scheme crash and burn
6. lying cheating pig of a spouse
7. dead hamster's demise
8. attempted suicide (better luck next time!)
9. Sexually Transmitted Disease
10. Identity Theft
11. recent firing
12. birth control failure/condom breakage
13. mother in law invasion
14. family reunion
15. catastrophic tornado, flood, pestilence, earthquake
16. marriage
17. internet cancellation
18. bad reaction to acne remedy
19. subpeona
20. stepping in dog shit
21. Mafia run in
22. IRS notice ( it's about as bad as #21)
23. family cat coming home knocked up
24. teen aged daughter coming home knocked up
25. flunking out of community college
26. diagnosis
27. government investigation
28. malpractice lawsuit
29. abduction by jihadists while on vacation
30. drug possession charges
31. waterboarding
32. car hijacking
33. home burglary/invasion
34. bank over draft fees
35. DNA paternity results
36. de-selection for experimental brain enhancement drug ( keep trying!)
37. failed bank robbery
38. failed Idol selection
39. encounter with aliens
40. accidental electrocution.
DeanO

United States

#4 Sep 4, 2011
Happy Mother's Day

I think about you all the time and talk about you twice a week in therapy.

Love,
Dean

“& My Favorite Dog Muttley ”

Level 10

Since: Nov 07

Myrtle Beach, SC

#5 Sep 4, 2011
To My Dear Sister-In-Law ~

I'm so sorry to hear that you're still having internal bleeding ... who'd have thought that the spear I threw at you would have caused so much internal damage ~ but if you would just learn to mind your own business, you wouldn't be in this condition now would you ... have a great day.

“Yum Chocolate!”

Level 8

Since: Apr 08

Location hidden

#6 Sep 4, 2011
DirtDevil wrote:
Thinking of you at this difficult time....
Praying for a full recovery from your ______( fill in the blank...)
1. Vasectomy
2. Boob job
3. Liposuction
4. Penile Implant
5. Ponzi Scheme crash and burn
6. lying cheating pig of a spouse
7. dead hamster's demise
8. attempted suicide (better luck next time!)
9. Sexually Transmitted Disease
10. Identity Theft
11. recent firing
12. birth control failure/condom breakage
13. mother in law invasion
14. family reunion
15. catastrophic tornado, flood, pestilence, earthquake
16. marriage
17. internet cancellation
18. bad reaction to acne remedy
19. subpeona
20. stepping in dog shit
21. Mafia run in
22. IRS notice ( it's about as bad as #21)
23. family cat coming home knocked up
24. teen aged daughter coming home knocked up
25. flunking out of community college
26. diagnosis
27. government investigation
28. malpractice lawsuit
29. abduction by jihadists while on vacation
30. drug possession charges
31. waterboarding
32. car hijacking
33. home burglary/invasion
34. bank over draft fees
35. DNA paternity results
36. de-selection for experimental brain enhancement drug ( keep trying!)
37. failed bank robbery
38. failed Idol selection
39. encounter with aliens
40. accidental electrocution.
LOL
ChattysDemonBaby

United States

#7 Sep 4, 2011
Mama?

“Die Hard For The Trivial”

Level 6

Since: Jun 11

Location hidden

#8 Sep 4, 2011
Roses are Red
Violets are Blue
sugar is sweet
Avoid the flu.
DirtDevil

Sandy, TX

#9 Sep 4, 2011
DeanO wrote:
Happy Mother's Day
I think about you all the time and talk about you twice a week in therapy.
Love,
Dean
AWESOME!!
DirtDevil

Sandy, TX

#10 Sep 4, 2011
Trouser Cough wrote:
To My Dear Sister-In-Law ~
I'm so sorry to hear that you're still having internal bleeding ... who'd have thought that the spear I threw at you would have caused so much internal damage ~ but if you would just learn to mind your own business, you wouldn't be in this condition now would you ... have a great day.
Did you get your spear back? I could use that!

Since: May 10

Location hidden

#11 Sep 4, 2011
Dad,

Sorry your new girlfriend
turned out to be
a transvestite.

“& My Favorite Dog Muttley ”

Level 10

Since: Nov 07

Myrtle Beach, SC

#12 Sep 4, 2011
DirtDevil wrote:
<quoted text>Did you get your spear back? I could use that!
I got the pole part back that you can re-use - but I left her the tip!:)

“& My Favorite Dog Muttley ”

Level 10

Since: Nov 07

Myrtle Beach, SC

#13 Sep 5, 2011
Dear Uncle Lyle & Aunt Gladys

So sorry to hear that you guys spent the week after your anniversay in the hospital - I just figured that a Jack La Lane video might be a great way to get you 2 kids up and moving around good again - hey, if a 96 year old man could do those moves - I just thought you 2 85 years olds could do it too - sorry you're both all messed up now - but I hope you had a nice anniversary anyway!

Since: May 10

Location hidden

#14 Sep 5, 2011
Sorry About Your Car Accident ~

It was a valiant effort, though, trying to flee from the police.

Level 9

Since: Jul 11

Location hidden

#15 Sep 5, 2011
To My "SPECIAL" Friend

I'm so thankful to have a friend like you.
You were there when I really needed someone.
You never left me alone.
I will always be thankful that you are my friend.

LOVE YOU!!!

“& My Favorite Dog Muttley ”

Level 10

Since: Nov 07

Myrtle Beach, SC

#16 Sep 5, 2011
Dear Sis,

I hope you & your in-laws can forgive me for my little awkward remark the other night in the hospital - but to be quite honest with you Sis ~ I've never seen such a large head on such a tiny little newborn baby like that in my life!

So, I just wanted to take a moment to say I'm sorry, tell you that I love you, and that I hope you and your little balloon sized headed son are doing well.

Since: May 10

Location hidden

#17 Sep 5, 2011
Thank You...

...For telling me my zipper was down yesterday.

“& My Favorite Dog Muttley ”

Level 10

Since: Nov 07

Myrtle Beach, SC

#18 Sep 6, 2011
Dear Aunt Helen,

I can't help but be reminded of the times we kids spent almost every summer weekend up at your cottage ~ what a blast!

Today I have a host of ailments like high blood pressure, high cholesterol, obesity & diabetes just to name a few.....

Thanks to you & Uncle Pete for giving me all those sweets and feeding me all that other crap junk food when I was a kid. You've helped make me into what I am today.

Sincerely,
Your Fat Sickly Nephew
Prom Motion

Huntington, NY

#19 Sep 6, 2011
Congratulations on your promotion!!
Does your boss know that the "bun in the oven" is his?
DirtDevil

United States

#20 Sep 7, 2011
( to be fair, I didn't write this....because you just can't write this stuff...but it's so perfect for this thread....lordy!)

( left on the answering machine at Anita Hill's residence....)Anita Hill, this is Ginni Thomas, and I just wanted to reach across the airwaves and the years and ask you to consider something. I would love you to consider an apology sometime and some full explanation of why you did what you did with my husband. So give it some thought and certainly pray about this and come to understand why you did what you did. OK, have a good day."
In Christ,
Ginni Thomas, wife of Supreme Court Judge Clarence Thomas (aaaaaaaaaaamennnnnn!...choir fading in the distance....)

Read more: http://newsfeed.time.com/2010/10/20/the-voice...

Tell me when this thread is updated:

Subscribe Now Add to my Tracker
First Prev
of 2
Next Last

Add your comments below

Characters left: 4000

Please note by submitting this form you acknowledge that you have read the Terms of Service and the comment you are posting is in compliance with such terms. Be polite. Inappropriate posts may be removed by the moderator. Send us your feedback.

Weird Discussions

Title Updated Last By Comments
What song are you listening to right now? (Apr '08) 3 min KNIGHT DeVINE 194,542
News Evolution vs. Creation (Jul '11) 4 min DanFromSmithville 201,655
Word Association 2 (Sep '13) 7 min Cyan in CA 18,485
El's Kitchen (Feb '09) 18 min Crystal_Clear722 58,111
Just start naming actors and actresses (Sep '11) 22 min Old Sam 5,367
Keep a Word.....Drop a Word Game (Sep '13) 33 min Old Sam 11,755
Last Post Wins! (Aug '08) 34 min Old Sam 146,069
What Turns You Off (Jun '11) 2 hr Ferrerman 7,862
JUST SAY SOMETHING. Whatever comes to mind!! (Aug '09) 3 hr UnderstandPeople 32,686
TRUMP, Donald (Jun '15) 3 hr -Figgy - 198
More from around the web