“Call me Walter”

Since: Nov 10

Dyersburg, TN

#1235 Oct 10, 2012
The Ambiguous Sock wrote:
Dear Satan, dear Satan....
My fountain pen leaks,
my wife hollers at me,
and my kids are all freaks.
Every side I get up on
is the wrong side of bed....
if it weren't so expensive
I wish I were dead...
Signed,
The Sock.
Dear The Ambiguous Sock,

You should order the Vag-O-Matic ink pen and well set. If you dip the Vag-O-Matic into the ink well the pen will not leak, the wife will not be upset and your kids will be scared straight.

As for the rest, I suggest standing at the edge of the dryer, writing out your last wishes, then jump in. Insurance will still pay because socks get lost that way all the time and it's never considered suspiscious.

Thanks for your contribution,

Satan

Level 9

Since: Nov 10

Powellton WV

#1237 Jan 28, 2013
Oh this is too good:)

Dear Satan,

Why can't we have world peace?

Level 10

Since: Nov 09

Smirk .. ;-)

#1238 Jan 28, 2013
I like this thread!

“Call me Walter”

Since: Nov 10

Dyersburg, TN

#1239 Jan 28, 2013
arctic wrote:
Oh this is too good:)
Dear Satan,
Why can't we have world peace?
Dear arctic,

There are many reasons there will never be world peace. War drives the economy. War is a method of poulation control. War is the thing legacies are made of.

Besides, what would they show in place of the news?

Thanks for your contribution,

Satan

“Call me Walter”

Since: Nov 10

Dyersburg, TN

#1240 Jan 28, 2013
-Kevin- wrote:
I like this thread!
Me too, this has always been fun.

Level 9

Since: Nov 10

Powellton WV

#1241 Jan 28, 2013
IXSatanXI wrote:
<quoted text>
Dear arctic,
There are many reasons there will never be world peace. War drives the economy. War is a method of poulation control. War is the thing legacies are made of.
Besides, what would they show in place of the news?
Thanks for your contribution,
Satan
Still a funny guy I see:) lol

“<3”

Level 9

Since: Jun 10

Black Rock City, NV

#1242 Jan 28, 2013
Dear IXSstanXI,

Should I go visit the "naked man in the snow" while he's up here from SoCal? I could be in trouble if I do. I'd really like to, but I might not come back if I do.

Respectfully submitted,

Persephone

“Call me Walter”

Since: Nov 10

Dyersburg, TN

#1243 Jan 28, 2013
arctic wrote:
<quoted text>
Still a funny guy I see:) lol
Not really, just full of bad advice lol.

“Call me Walter”

Since: Nov 10

Dyersburg, TN

#1244 Jan 28, 2013
-Persephone- wrote:
Dear IXSstanXI,
Should I go visit the "naked man in the snow" while he's up here from SoCal? I could be in trouble if I do. I'd really like to, but I might not come back if I do.
Respectfully submitted,
Persephone
Dear -Persephone-,

Satan is unfamiliar with the naked man in the snow. However, I can tell you that snow and naked men do not mix. My guess is you won't see anything worth disappearing for. Have fun, no matter what you decide, but when they refuse to refund your money because the show was too, um short, don't say I didn't tell you so.

Thanks for your contribution,

Satan

Judged:

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“<3”

Level 9

Since: Jun 10

Black Rock City, NV

#1245 Jan 28, 2013
Dear Satan,

Thanks for your quick response. The naked man in the snow never failed, no matter the weather conditions. In fact, we disappeared for "three days" on several occasions.

Hmmm, to ponder, ten years; three days - again and again and again...
IXSatanXI wrote:
<quoted text>
Dear -Persephone-,
Satan is unfamiliar with the naked man in the snow. However, I can tell you that snow and naked men do not mix. My guess is you won't see anything worth disappearing for. Have fun, no matter what you decide, but when they refuse to refund your money because the show was too, um short, don't say I didn't tell you so.
Thanks for your contribution,
Satan

Since: Apr 12

Location hidden

#1246 Mar 6, 2013
Dear Satan,

It seems a friend and I have a miscommunication. I think my friend thinks I want something I do not want. I think if my friend is himself with me and treats me as a normal friend, things will be fine.

Also I have a list of posters that are a pain in the butt. I am wonder if you can send demons out to pour supperglue in their keyboards.

Thank you in advance.





Backpedalling Kevin

Fullerton, CA

#1247 Mar 6, 2013
What do you think of this Satan?

http://www.topix.com/forum/news/topix/TCO87VV...

Since: Apr 12

Location hidden

#1249 Mar 12, 2013

“Call me Walter”

Since: Nov 10

Dyersburg, TN

#1250 Mar 19, 2013
Backpedalling Kevin wrote:
What do you think of this Satan?
http://www.topix.com/forum/news/topix/TCO87VV...
What am I supposed to be seeing?

Since: Apr 12

Location hidden

#1251 Mar 19, 2013
IXSatanXI wrote:
<quoted text>
What am I supposed to be seeing?
Read your PMs. That fighting has since ceased. No need to re-visit old drama.

“In God we trust”

Level 7

Since: Dec 12

Cape Town, South Africa

#1252 Mar 20, 2013
So what advice can I ask?

Since: Apr 12

Location hidden

#1254 Mar 20, 2013
Arise Kevin wrote:
<quoted text>
Thank you SB.
Oh my...lol....the name caught me a bit off guard.....You're welcome "Arise Kevin."

“Ill Bill's the Best”

Level 7

Since: Oct 11

Icno's Sock Drawer

#1256 Mar 20, 2013
Dear Satan,

Where are you?

Sincerely,

Charlie Girl

Since: Apr 12

Location hidden

#1257 Mar 20, 2013
Arise Kevin wrote:
<quoted text>
Ricky gave me the idea.
Sounds like his sense of humor.:)

Since: Apr 12

Location hidden

#1259 Mar 20, 2013
Dear Satan,

Please return soon. Your fans miss you and Hell is going to Heaven in a Cloud. We are losing demons faster than ever. I have requested a roster at the begining on the day to see who has floated off to become Angels, who has been returned to us with a different name, and who still remains.

Sincerely,

Fallen Princess SB

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