Acolytes of Junket

“Make time ”

Level 10

Since: Sep 09

for contemplation

#35688 Apr 9, 2013
Howdy, FC! I just checked - 72 and rising where I live. Could not care less. Oops, I'm back into whine mode.:-(

Sublime, where on earth do you find the time? We've jarred things and a year or so later we end up tossing. Horrible waste.

Level 8

Since: Aug 08

Location hidden

#35689 Apr 9, 2013
Junket wrote:
Howdy, FC! I just checked - 72 and rising where I live. Could not care less. Oops, I'm back into whine mode.:-(
Sublime, where on earth do you find the time? We've jarred things and a year or so later we end up tossing. Horrible waste.
Yes, I don't know about canning, so much. I actually prefer to cook frozen veggies and that seems easier. So, I will probably freeze. I've bought frozen vegetables at the store with squash and I use a lot of frozen bags of peppers and onions for omelets. So I hope to freeze some of that stuff.

Even if I don't actually get around to doing so, we should have plenty to eat throughout the summer, which is good enough for me. I don't grow a garden to save money or because it is easier than just going to the store. It's not ... I spent an easy 16 hours outside working on it this weekend and I was so sore yesterday ... I felt like I got ran over by a Mack truck. I do it because I enjoy it.

“Resist Persist Enlist Exist”

Level 6

Since: Sep 12

United States

#35690 Apr 9, 2013
Greetings and Salutations Ms Junket

Yesterday we had the Santa Anna's come pay us a visit. Think the wind version of a full moon. Wiped the skies clear of smog. Gorgeous. Went out and did a 6 miles hike to a mountain waterfall. Would send a digital photo, but the camera and wave combo of last Saturday didn't fair well. In the shop to the tune of 125 bucks. groan. Could be more if they have to order parts.

“Nothing Is”

Since: Mar 13

As It Seems

#35691 Apr 9, 2013
Sublime1 wrote:
<quoted text>
Yes, I don't know about canning, so much. I actually prefer to cook frozen veggies and that seems easier. So, I will probably freeze. I've bought frozen vegetables at the store with squash and I use a lot of frozen bags of peppers and onions for omelets. So I hope to freeze some of that stuff.
Even if I don't actually get around to doing so, we should have plenty to eat throughout the summer, which is good enough for me. I don't grow a garden to save money or because it is easier than just going to the store. It's not ... I spent an easy 16 hours outside working on it this weekend and I was so sore yesterday ... I felt like I got ran over by a Mack truck. I do it because I enjoy it.
Watch the Mack truck comments here. They've been know to start flame wars. Anyway the great thing about gardening is it's a great workout and you have more than sore muscles for your efforts.

“Nothing Is”

Since: Mar 13

As It Seems

#35692 Apr 9, 2013
Junket wrote:
Howdy, FC! I just checked - 72 and rising where I live. Could not care less. Oops, I'm back into whine mode.:-(
Sublime, where on earth do you find the time? We've jarred things and a year or so later we end up tossing. Horrible waste.
Hope you are feeling better Junket. Home grown canned goods make a wonderful gift when invited somewhere and you don't want to show up empty handed.

Level 8

Since: Aug 08

Location hidden

#35693 Apr 9, 2013
KnightPirateDeux wrote:
<quoted text>
Watch the Mack truck comments here. They've been know to start flame wars.
LOL
KnightPirateDeux wrote:
<quoted text>Anyway the great thing about gardening is it's a great workout and you have more than sore muscles for your efforts.
I used muscles I haven't used in a long time. I was so sore and miserable yesterday, I shut it down early and went to bed at 7 last night. I feel so much better today.

It was a lot of work up front, but it won't be so hard next time now that I have all my dips installed ... it will be just a matter of pushing back the pine needles and popping new plants in the spots I have cut in the weed barrier fabric ... maybe augmenting the soil a little bit in those spots too. Next year it should only take me a few hours to plant everything.

“Make time ”

Level 10

Since: Sep 09

for contemplation

#35694 Apr 9, 2013
Greetings Rose of T! Six miles of hiking - how long did it take? I used to be able to walk/hike,(sometimes jog) for hours. Those days are gone.

Thank you, KP. I've received gifts of that nature (mystery floating around in a jar) and end up not trying. First off, I cannot easily identify the contents. Secondly, there's no expiration date.

Our idea of gifting is getting rid of the tomatoes and peppers. People seem to enjoy getting free fresh garden produce. Key word - free.

“<3”

Level 9

Since: Jun 10

Black Rock City, NV

#35695 Apr 9, 2013
*flexes*

“Incorrupta fides, nudaque veri”

Level 9

Since: May 07

Vincit qui se vincit

#35696 Apr 9, 2013
I thought Cov might have a lunch to go? lol

“<3”

Level 9

Since: Jun 10

Black Rock City, NV

#35697 Apr 9, 2013
Chicken soup to go...

“Dragon my tail.”

Since: Jun 09

Wherever

#35698 Apr 10, 2013
good morning, sleepy babies. rise and shine and let the humpin' begin.

“ON TRAIL W / DONKEY!”

Level 5

Since: Oct 08

Location hidden

#35699 Apr 10, 2013
Good Morning Folks!

Back with us once again right here on Junket's Acolytes of Junkets thread..........is our NOT so favorite squatty body, jiggly fat, baby bottle sucking, diaper wearing dwarf Voyeur!

But before he starts his act, he wants to everyone he loves you almost as much as Donkey!

~~~~~~~~~~



An airplane was about to crash; there were 5 passengers on
board, but only 4 parachutes. The first passenger, Holly Madison
said, "I have my own reality show and I am the smartest and
prettiest woman at Playboy, so Americans don't want me to
die." She took the first pack and jumped out of the plane.

The second passenger, John McCain, said, "I'm a Senator, and a
decorated war hero from an elite Navy unit from the United
States of America." So he grabbed the second pack and jumped.

The third passenger, Barack Obama said, "I am the President of
the United States and I am the smartest ever in the history of
our country, some even call me the 'Anointed One.'" So he
grabbed the pack next to him and jumped out.

The fourth passenger, Billy Graham said to the fifth
passenger, a 10-year-old schoolgirl, "I have lived a full life
and served my God the best I could. I will sacrifice my life and let
you have the last parachute."

The little girl said, "That's okay, Mr. Graham. There's a
parachute left for you. America 's smartest President took
my schoolbag."

“ON TRAIL W / DONKEY!”

Level 5

Since: Oct 08

Location hidden

#35700 Apr 10, 2013
1963vs. 2013
(A span of only 50 YEARS)

1963: Long hair
2013: Longing for hair

1963: KEG
2013: EKG
&#65532;

1963: Acid rock
2013: Acid reflux
&#65532; &#65532;
1963: Moving to California because it's cool
2013: Moving to Arizona because it's warm
&#65532; &#65532; &#65532;
1963: Trying to look like Marlon Brando or Liz Taylor
2013: Trying NOT to look like Marlon Brando or Liz Taylor
&#65532; &#65532; &#65532; &#65532;
1963: Seeds and stems
2013: Roughage
&#65532; &#65532;
1963: Hoping for a BMW
2013: Hoping for a BM
&#65532; &#65532;
1963: Going to a new, hip joint
2013: Receiving a new hip joint
&#65532; &#65532;
1963: Rolling Stones
2013: Kidney Stones

&#65532; &#65532;

1963: Passing the drivers' test
2013: Passing the vision test
&#65532; &#65532;
Just in case you weren't feeling old enough already, this will certainly change things.
Each year the staff at Beloit College in Wisconsin puts together a list to try to give the faculty a sense of the mindset of this year's incoming freshmen. Here's this year's list:

The people who are starting college this fall across the nation were born in 1994!

&#65532;

They are too young to remember the space shuttle blowing up.
&#65532;

Their lifetime has always included AIDS.
&#65532;

Bottle caps have always been childproof and plastic.
&#65532;
The CD was introduced 4 years before they were born.
&#65532;
They have always had an answering machine..
&#65532;
They have always had cable.
&#65532;
They cannot fathom not having a remote control.

Jay Leno has always been on the Tonight Show.
&#65532;
Popcorn has always been cooked in the microwave.
They never took a swim and thought about Jaws.
&#65532;
They can't imagine what hard contact lenses are.
&#65532;
They don't know who Mork was or where he was from.
&#65532;
They never heard:
"Where's the Beef?",
"I'd walk a mile for a Camel", or
"De plane, Boss, de plane.."
&#65532; &#65532; &#65532;
They do not care who shot J.R. nor do they have any idea who J. R. even is.
&#65532;

Mc Donald's never came in Styrofoam containers.
&#65532; &#65532;
They don't have a clue how to use a typewriter.
Do you feel old yet?

“ON TRAIL W / DONKEY!”

Level 5

Since: Oct 08

Location hidden

#35701 Apr 10, 2013
The Pastor's Ass

The pastor entered his donkey in a race and it won. The pastor was so pleased with the donkey that he entered it in the race again, and it won
again

The local paper read: PASTOR'S ASS OUT FRONT

The Bishop was so upset with this kind of publicity that he ordered the pastor not to enter the donkey in another race. The next day, the local paper headline read:

BISHOP SCRATCHES PASTOR'S ASS

This was too much for the bishop, so he ordered the pastor to get rid of the donkey. The pastor decided to give it to a nun in a nearby convent.
The local paper, hearing of the news, posted the following headline the next day:
NUN HAS BEST ASS IN TOWN.

The bishop fainted. He informed the nun that she would have to get rid of the donkey, so she sold it to a farmer for $10. The next day the paper read:

NUN SELLS ASS FOR $10

This was too much for the bishop, so he ordered the nun to buy back the donkey and lead it to the plains where it could run wild. The next day the headlines read:

NUN ANNOUNCES HER ASS IS WILD AND FREE

The bishop was buried the next day.
The moral of the story is.... being concerned about public opinion can bring you much grief and misery...and even shorten your life. So be
yourself and enjoy life... Stop worrying about everyone else's ass and you'll be a lot happier and live longer!

“ON TRAIL W / DONKEY!”

Level 5

Since: Oct 08

Location hidden

#35702 Apr 10, 2013
so a guy walks a up to a bartender and says "i bet you a hundred bucks i can stand on your bar and piss into a shot glass all the way on the other end."

the bartender says "sure i'll take that bet you cant do that."
so the guy gets up on the bar and starts pissing all over the place on the bartender, everyone drinking, all the people sitting at the tables everything but doesnt get a drop in the shot glass.

the bartender says ha thats an easy hundred bucks

the guy says yeah but i got just got a thousand from my friends over there who bet me i couldn't get up on the bar piss all over everything and have you laugh about it.

“ON TRAIL W / DONKEY!”

Level 5

Since: Oct 08

Location hidden

#35703 Apr 10, 2013
what do you do when a blond throws a grenade at you?
A. pull the thing and throw it back!

“ON TRAIL W / DONKEY!”

Level 5

Since: Oct 08

Location hidden

#35704 Apr 10, 2013
Thoughts to Ponder

1. Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.

2. Don't worry about what people think, they don't do it very often.

3. Going to church doesn't make you a Christian anymore than standing in a garage makes you a car.

4. Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.

5. If you must choose between two evils, pick the one you've never tried before.

6. My idea of housework is to sweep the room with a glance.

7. Not one shred of evidence supports the notion that life is serious.

8. It is easier to get forgiveness than permission.

9. For every action, there is an equal and opposite government program.

10. If you look like your passport picture, you probably need the trip.

11. Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of checks.

12. A conscience is what hurts when all of your other parts feel so good.

13. Eat well, stay fit, DIE ANYWAY.

14. Men are from earth. Women are from earth. Deal with it.

15. No man has ever been shot while doing the dishes.

16. A balanced diet is a beer in each hand.

17. Middle age is when broadness of the mind and narrowness of the waist change places.

18. Opportunities always look bigger going than coming.

19. Junk is something you've kept for years and throw away three weeks before you need it.

20. There is always one more imbecile than you counted on.

21. Experience is a wonderful thing. It enables you to recognize a mistake when you make it again.

22. By the time you can make ends meet, they move the ends.

23. Thou shalt not weigh more than thy refrigerator.

24. Someone who thinks logically provides a nice contrast to the real world.

25. It ain't the jeans that make your bum look fat.

26. If you had to identify, in 1 word, the reason why the human race has not achieved, & never will achieve, its full potential, that word would be 'meetings.'

27. There is a very fine line between 'hobby' and 'mental illness.'

28. People who want to share their religious views with you almost never want you to share yours with them.

29. You should not confuse your career with your life.

30. Nobody cares if you can't dance well. Just get up and dance.

31. Never lick a steak knife.

32.. The most destructive force in the universe is gossip.

33. You should never say anything to a woman that even remotely suggests that you think she's pregnant unless you can see an actual baby emerging from her at that moment.

34 . There comes a time when you should stop expecting other people to make a big deal about your birthday. That time is age eleven.

35. The one thing that unites all human beings, regardless of age, gender, religion, economic status or ethnic background, is that, deep down inside, we ALL believe that we are above average drivers.
36. Your friends love you anyway.

37. Don't argue with an idiot; people watching may not be able to tell the difference..

Never be afraid to try something new.

Remember that a lone amateur built the Ark.

A large group of professionals built the Titanic

“ON TRAIL W / DONKEY!”

Level 5

Since: Oct 08

Location hidden

#35705 Apr 10, 2013
What do you get when you cross a rooster with a telephone pole?
A forty foot cock that wants to reach out and touch someone!!!!

“ON TRAIL W / DONKEY!”

Level 5

Since: Oct 08

Location hidden

#35706 Apr 10, 2013
This one might be a little sensitive right now, but I truely think it's halarious! Just don't take any of it to heart.

10 TRUTHS BLACK AND HISPANIC PEOPLE KNOW, BUT WHITE PEOPLE WON'T ADMIT:

1. Elvis is dead.
2. Jesus was not white.
3. Rap music is here to stay.
4. Kissing your pet is not cute or clean.
5. Skinny does not equal sexy.
6. Thomas Jefferson had black children.
7. A 5 year old child is too big for a stroller.
8.N'SYNC will never hold a candle to the Jackson 5
9. An occasional BUTT whooping helps a child stay in line.
10. Having your children curse you out in public is not normal.

10 TRUTHS WHITE AND BLACK PEOPLE KNOW, BUT HISPANIC PEOPLE WON'T ADMIT:

1. Hickey's are not attractive.
2. Chicken is food, not a roommate.
3. Jesus is not a name for your son.
4. Your country's flag is not a car decoration.
5. Maria is a name but not for every daughter.
6. "Jump out and run" is not in any insurance policies.
7. 10 people to a car is considered too many.
8. Buttoning just the top button of your shirt is a bad fashion statement.
9. Mami and Papi can't possibly be the nickname of every boyfriend / girlfriend in your family.
10. Letting your children run wildly through the store is not normal.

10 TRUTHS WHITE AND HISPANIC PEOPLE KNOW, BUT
BLACK PEOPLE WON'T ADMIT:

1. O.J. did it.
2. Tupac is dead.
3. Teeth should not be decorated.
4. Weddings should start on time.
5. Your pastor doesn't know everything.
6. Jesse Jackson will never be President.
7. RED is not a Kool Aid flavor, it's a color.
8. Church does not require expensive clothes.
9. Crown Royal bags are meant to be thrown away. 10. Your rims and sound system should not be worth more than your car.

“ON TRAIL W / DONKEY!”

Level 5

Since: Oct 08

Location hidden

#35707 Apr 10, 2013
REDNECK PICKUP LINES

1) Did you fart?'Cuz you blew me away.

2) Are yer parents retarded?'Cuz ya sure are special.

3) My Love fer you is like diarrhea. I can't hold it in.

4) Do you have a library card?'Cuz I'd like to sign you out.

5) Is there a mirror in yer pants?'Cuz I can see myself in em.

6) If you was a tree I were a Squirrel, I'd store my nuts in yer hole.

7) You might not be the best lookin' girl here, but beauty's only a light
switch away.

8) Man - "Fat Penguin!" Woman - "WHAT?" Man - "I just wanted to say
something that would break the ice."

9) I know I'm not no Fred Flintstone, but I bet I can make yer bed-rock.

10) I can't find my puppy, can you help me find him? I think he went inta
this cheap motel room.

11) Yer eyes are as blue as window cleaner.

12) If yer gunna regret this in the mornin', we kin sleep 'til afternoon.

and...the best for last!

13) Yer face reminds me of a wrench, every time I think of it my nuts
tighten up.

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