Tom Poppas

Anonymous Proxy

#71 Apr 13, 2013
Nattassz and badassgayboi wait and watch hopin for sloppy poooosie seconds, rite? Thehy ain't bad just sad.
Tom Pappas

Anonymous Proxy

#72 Apr 13, 2013
Laura Beth wrote:
What an idiot back peddling . Quit playing Tom Pappa's Trish , or anyone else from San Jose Ca .... Your a whacked out person . The white costs are coming
No baby Lbeth its me! Who loves you baby? GANNY first you know but you close second in PAPPAS eyes.

Since: Aug 09

Location hidden

#73 Apr 13, 2013
Tom Pappas wrote:
<quoted text>
No baby Lbeth its me! Who loves you baby? GANNY first you know but you close second in PAPPAS eyes.
Your a sick puppy Trish...Go take your meds. We all know Tom Pappa's ain't from Ca

“<3”

Level 9

Since: Jun 10

Black Rock City, NV

#77 Apr 15, 2013

The Three Little Pigs

Three Little Pigs went out to dinner one night. The waiter came and took their drink order.

'I would like a Sprite,' said the first little piggy.

'I would like a Coke,' said the second little piggy.

'I want beer, lots and lots of beer,' said the third little piggy.

The drinks were brought out and the waiter took their orders for dinner.

'I want a nice big steak,' said the first piggy.

'I would like the salad plate,' said the second piggy.

'I want beer, lots and lots of beer,' said the third little piggy.

The meals were brought out and a while later the waiter approached the table and asked if the piggies would like any dessert.

'I want a banana split,' said the first piggy.

'I want a cheesecake,' said the second piggy.
'I want beer, lots and lots of beer,' exclaimed the third little piggy.

'Pardon me for asking,' said the waiter to the third little piggy,'
But why have you only ordered beer all evening?'

You're gonna LOVE this....

The third piggy says -

'Well, somebody has to go 'Wee, wee, wee, all the way home!

“Incorrupta fides, nudaque veri”

Level 9

Since: May 07

Vincit qui se vincit

#81 Apr 16, 2013
A redneck with a bucket full of live fish, was approached recently by a game warden in Texas as he started to drive his boat away from a lake. The game warden asked the man, "May I see your fishing license please?" "Naw, sir," replied the redneck. "I don't need none of them there papers. These here are my pet fish."
"Pet fish!?!?"
"Yep. Once a week, I bring these here fish o'mine down to the lake and let 'em swim 'round for a while. Then when I whistle, they swim right back into my net and I take 'em home."
"What a line of baloney....you're under arrest."
The redneck said, "It's the truth, Mr. Gov'ment man. I'll show ya!
We do this all the time!!"
"WE do, now, do WE?" smirked the warden. "PROVE it!"
The redneck released the fish into the lake and stood and waited. After a few minutes, the warden said, "Well?"
"Well, WHUT?" said the redneck.
The warden asked, "When are you going to call em back?"
"Call who back?"
"The FISH," replied the warden!
"Whut fish?" asked the redneck.

MORAL OF THE STORY:
We may not be as smart as some city slickers, but we ain't as dumb as some government employees.

“<3”

Level 9

Since: Jun 10

Black Rock City, NV

#82 Apr 16, 2013
lol
Ricky F wrote:
A redneck with a bucket full of live fish, was approached recently by a game warden in Texas as he started to drive his boat away from a lake. The game warden asked the man, "May I see your fishing license please?" "Naw, sir," replied the redneck. "I don't need none of them there papers. These here are my pet fish."
"Pet fish!?!?"
"Yep. Once a week, I bring these here fish o'mine down to the lake and let 'em swim 'round for a while. Then when I whistle, they swim right back into my net and I take 'em home."
"What a line of baloney....you're under arrest."
The redneck said, "It's the truth, Mr. Gov'ment man. I'll show ya!
We do this all the time!!"
"WE do, now, do WE?" smirked the warden. "PROVE it!"
The redneck released the fish into the lake and stood and waited. After a few minutes, the warden said, "Well?"
"Well, WHUT?" said the redneck.
The warden asked, "When are you going to call em back?"
"Call who back?"
"The FISH," replied the warden!
"Whut fish?" asked the redneck.
MORAL OF THE STORY:
We may not be as smart as some city slickers, but we ain't as dumb as some government employees.
Tom Pappas

Anonymous Proxy

#84 May 17, 2013
Mamma's Bible

Four brothers left home for college, and they became successful doctors and lawyers and prospered.

Some years later, they chatted after having dinner together. They discussed the gifts they were able to give their elderly mother who lived far away in another city.

The first said, "I had a big house built for Mama."

The second said, " I had a hundred thousand dollar theater built in the house."

The third said, "I had my Mercedes dealer deliver an SL600 to her."

The fourth said, "You know how Mamma loved reading the Bible and you know she can't read anymore because she can't see very well. I met this preacher who told me about a parrot that can recite the entire bible. It took twenty preachers 12 years to teach him. I had to pledge to contribute $100,000 a year for twenty years to the church, but it was worth it. Mamma just has to name the chapter and verse and the parrot will recite it."

The other brothers were impressed.

After the holidays Mom sent out her Thank You notes. She wrote:

"Milton, the house you built is so huge. I live in only one room, but I have to clean the whole house. Thanks anyway."

"Marvin, I am too old to travel. I stay home, I have my groceries delivered, so I never use the Mercedes. The thought was good. Thanks."

"Michael, you gave me and expensive theater with Dolby sound, it could hold 50 people, but all of my friends are dead, I've lost my hearing and I'm nearly blind. I'll never use it. Thank you for the gesture just the same."

"Dearest Melvin, you were the only son to have the good sense to give a little thought to your gift. The chicken was delicious. Thank you."
hiu

Dublin, CA

#85 May 17, 2013
?

“ON TRAIL W / DONKEY!”

Level 5

Since: Oct 08

I HAVE BAD JOCK ITCH!

#86 Jun 11, 2013
My colleague and I were eating our lunch in our cafeteria, when we Overheard one of the administrative assistants talking about the sunburn she got on her weekend drive to the shore. She drove down in a convertible but "didn't think she'd get sunburned because the car was moving"...

They Walk Among Us!

“ON TRAIL W / DONKEY!”

Level 5

Since: Oct 08

I HAVE BAD JOCK ITCH!

#87 Jun 11, 2013
My friends and I were on a beer run and noticed that the cases were discounted 10%. Since it was a big party, we bought 2 cases. The cashier multiplied 2 times 10% and gave us a 20% discount....

They Walk Among Us!

“ON TRAIL W / DONKEY!”

Level 5

Since: Oct 08

I HAVE BAD JOCK ITCH!

#88 Jun 11, 2013
I was hanging out with a friend when we saw a woman with a nose ring attached to an earring by a chain. My friend said, "Wouldn't the chain rip out every time she turned her head?" I explained that a person's nose and ear remain the same distance apart no matter which way the head is turned...
They Walk Among Us!

“ON TRAIL W / DONKEY!”

Level 5

Since: Oct 08

I HAVE BAD JOCK ITCH!

#89 Jun 11, 2013
I couldn't find my luggage at the airport baggage area. So I went to the lost luggage office and told the woman there that my bags never showed up. She smiled and told me not to worry because she was a trained professional and I was in good hands. "Now," she asked me, "has your plane arrived yet?"...

They Walk Among Us!

Level 5

Since: Mar 13

Location hidden

#90 Jun 11, 2013
Laura Beth wrote:
<quoted text>Your a sick puppy Trish...Go take your meds. We all know Tom Pappa's ain't from Ca
I come in for a joke and there you are.:)

If Garfield smashed his alarm clock, could he be accused of killing time?

Not if the clock struck first!:)

“ON TRAIL W / DONKEY!”

Level 5

Since: Oct 08

I HAVE BAD JOCK ITCH!

#93 Jun 12, 2013
A few minutes before the church services started, the townspeople were sitting in their pews and talking. Suddenly, Satan appeared at the front of the church. Everyone started screaming and running for the front entrance, trampling each other in a frantic effort to get away from evil incarnate. Soon everyone had exited the church except for one, an elderly gentleman who sat calmly in his pew without moving, seeming oblivious to the fact that God's ultimate enemy was in his presence.

So Satan walked up to the old man and said "Don't you know who I am?"

"Yep, sure do."

"Aren't you afraid of me?"

"Nope, sure ain't."
"Don't you realize I can kill you with a word?"
"Don't doubt it for a minute."
"Did you know that I could cause you profound, horrifying, physical
AGONY for all eternity??"
"Yep," was the calm reply.
"And you're still not afraid??" asked Satan.
"Nope."
More than a little perturbed, Satan asked, "Well, why aren't you afraid of me?
The man calmly replied, "Been married to your sister for over 48 years."

“Incorrupta fides, nudaque veri”

Level 9

Since: May 07

Vincit qui se vincit

#97 Jul 15, 2013
Workplace wisdom

1. I can only please one person per day. Today is not your day.
Tomorrow doesn't look good either.

2. I love deadlines. I especially like the whooshing sound they make as they go flying by.

3. Tell me what you need, and I'll tell you how to get along without it.

4. Accept that some days you are the pigeon and some days the statue.

5. Needing someone is like needing a parachute. If he isn't there the first time, chances are you won't be needing him again.

6. I don't have an attitude problem, you have a perception problem.

7. Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought to myself, where the heck is the ceiling?

8. My reality check bounced.

9. On the keyboard of life, always keep one finger on the escape key.

10. I don't suffer from stress, but I am a carrier.

11. You are slower than a herd of turtles stampeding through peanut butter.

12. Do not meddle in the affairs of dragons, because you are crunchy and taste good with ketchup.

13. Everybody is somebody else's weirdo.

14. Never argue with an idiot. They drag you down to their level then beat you with experience.

15. A pat on the back is only a few centimeters from a kick in the butt.

16. Don't be irreplaceable - if you can't be replaced, you can't be promoted.

17. After any salary raise, you will have less money at the end of the month than you did before.

18. The more crap you put up with, the more crap you are going to get.

19. You can go anywhere you want if you look serious and carry a clipboard.

20. Eat one live toad first thing in the morning and nothing worse will happen to you for the rest of the day.

21. When bosses talk about improving productivity, they are never talking about themselves.

22. If at first you don't succeed, try again. Then quit. No use being a damned fool about it.

23. There will always be beer cans rolling on the floor of your car when the boss asks for a ride home from the office.

24. Everything can be filed under 'miscellaneous'.

25. Never delay the ending of a meeting or the beginning of a cocktail hour.

26. To err is human, to forgive is not our policy.

27. Anyone can do any amount of work provided it isn't the work he/she is supposed to be doing.

28. Important letters that contain no errors will develop errors in the mail.

29. If you are good, you will be assigned all the work. If you are really good, you will get out of it.

30. You are always doing something marginal when the boss drops by your desk.

31. People who go to conferences are the ones who shouldn't.

32. If it wasn't for the last minute, nothing would get done.

33. At work, the authority of a person is inversely proportional to the number of pens that person is carrying.

34. When you don't know what to do, walk fast and look worried.

35. Following the rules will not get the job done.

36. Getting the job done is no excuse for not following the rules.

37. When confronted by a difficult problem you can solve it more easily by reducing it to the question, "How would the Lone Ranger handle this?"

38. The only difference between a rut and a grave is the depth
Tom Pappas

Pioneer, CA

#98 Jul 15, 2013
She's A Keeper If You Hear A Woman Say ...

* I've been complaining a lot lately. I don't blame you for ignoring me.
* I know I'm sore and my parents are in the other room, I still want you right now!
* This porno scene is boring, fast forward to the gang bang.
* Don't get up, I kinda like sleeping in the wet spot.
* Don't dirty up your T-shirt wiping that up, use my blouse.
* That was fun, when will all of your friends be over to watch porno's again?
* I bet it would be kinky to watch you with our baby- sitter Tracy.
* You're my daddy! You're my daddy!
* The new girl in my office is a stripper. I invited her over for dinner on Friday.
* Honey, did you leave that skid in the toilet bowl? Good one!
* While you were in the bathroom, they went for it on fourth down and missed. If they can hold them to a field goal they'll still cover.
* Bar food again!? Kick a*s.
* I liked that wedding even more than ours. Your ex-girl- friend has class.
* That girl is wearing the same outfit as I am. Cool, I'm gonna go over and talk to her.
* I love hearing stories about your old girlfriends, tell me more.
* I like using this new lawn mower so much more than the old one, what a wonderful Valentine's day gift!
* Let's just leave the toilet seat "up" at all times, then you don't have to mess with it anymore.
* It's only the third quarter, you should order a couple more pitchers.
* Honey, come here! Watch me do a Tequila shot off of Chuck's bare a*s!
* My mother is going to take care of the tab, so order another round for you and your friends.
* I'm so happy with my new hairstyle, I don't think I'll ever change it again.
* Damn! I love when my pillow smells like your cigars and scotch. You passed out before brushing your teeth again, ya' big silly!
* You are so much smarter than my father.
* If we're not going to have sex, then you have to let me watch Sportscenter.
Mike

San Francisco, CA

#99 Jul 15, 2013
Hole in the mattress buy Mr. Completely.

“Incorrupta fides, nudaque veri”

Level 9

Since: May 07

Vincit qui se vincit

#100 Jun 20, 2014
Photo on the Night Stand

After a long night of making love, the guy notices a photo of another man, on the woman's nightstand by the bed.
He begins to worry.
'Is this your husband?', he nervously asks.
'No, silly,' she replies, snuggling up to him.
'Your boyfriend, then?' He continues.
'No, not at all,' she says, nibbling away at his ear.
'Is it your dad or your brother?' he inquires, hoping to be reassured.
'No, no, no! You are so hot when you're jealous!' she answers.
'Well, who in the hell is he, then?' he demands.
She whispers in his ear
'That's me before the surgery.'
Yep

United States

#102 Jun 20, 2014
You'll pee yourself laughing when you hear this one.

Americans!

Bahahahahahahahahahahaha

Get it? Americans.

Bahahahahahahahahahahahaha

“Incorrupta fides, nudaque veri”

Level 9

Since: May 07

Vincit qui se vincit

#103 Jun 24, 2014
Yep wrote:
You'll pee yourself laughing when you hear this one.
Americans!
Bahahahahahahahahahahaha
Get it? Americans.
Bahahahahahahahahahahahaha
Yes, the foreign American's are laughable!

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