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1 - 15 of 15 Comments Last updated Oct 19, 2013
Heather

Vicksburg, MS

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#1
May 18, 2007
 
Pretty common problem I guess, but I'm a female and I just can't orgasm with my boyfriend. It was more of an issue for him than me because he's really caring and wants to give me pleasure, but now it's starting to bother me too and I want to try and help myself out. So here's what's going on:

1) I've been masturbating since I was about 5, and I can bring myself to orgasm easily in about 30 seconds. I can even have multiple orgasms.

2) I am very comfortable in my relationship, and trust him. He's not the issue.

3) I am not at ALL afraid to show him how to pleasure me, and I do show him. But even if he does it the same way I do it, it just doesn't feel very good.

4) I was never sexually abused, am not religious, and wasn't brought up fearing sex before marriage or any of that stuff.

So what's the deal? I'm kind of at a loss. He really wants to please me and I would like to enjoy sex/foreplay. Any tips?
pablo

Victoria, Canada

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#2
May 18, 2007
 
Wow...you can self orgasm in 30 seconds! That is unusual.

Interesting post Heather. You seem to be doing all the 'correct ' things with him. Indeed, it is a bit of a puzzle, I know women are a very different species than us guys ...so maybe other women probably have better advice! All I can think of , off the top of my head is for him to try to get you to orgasm 'NOT" the same way. After all, you cannot I assume, lick thy clit.... so have him try to softly 'worship' your mons.... flicking the clit with his tongue, gently sucking it into his mouth, moving his tongue up the sides of the clitoral hood.... and down to the vaginal lips.... and slowly cominy upwards to thy 'pearl'. Better yet, put a pillow under thy buns and make him kneel on the floor.... so your 'butterfly' is exposed to him at tongue level..... and then TELL HIM where it feels good as he diligently carries on his DUTY!
You should get very wet if he is any good~ and at the appropriate time a digit or so at the 'gate' to your love canal..in a teasing way should bring you off!! I have found that works 99% of the time!
Heather

Vicksburg, MS

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#3
May 18, 2007
 
Thanks for the advice, I may get him to try oral again. We've done it before but it's been a little while. I usually don't get him to do it because I just can't feel anything from it. I need a lot of pressure to get myself to orgasm, and a tongue just can't do that. But maybe we should try again and go at it a little longer to see if something works.

Since: May 07

Monroe, CT

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#4
May 18, 2007
 
i had the same problem for well 16 years. Turns out the problem was size and position. and a little bit of stamina.
I needed a bigger penis
I don't NEED to be on top now but I did in the begginning.
He needs to be able to go for a long period of time without exploding.
Maybe start buying dildos larger then him??? and increase till you hit the magic one?? Might take a couple of rounds too before you know. start riding him....giddyee up =) oh and fingers glorious fingers with oral and you should be good to go.
Nancy

Jersey City, NJ

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#5
May 18, 2007
 
Have other guys been able to make you come? I know you trust him but are you able to open up for him?

Since: Dec 06

Location hidden

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#7
May 19, 2007
 
Heather wrote:
Thanks for the advice, I may get him to try oral again. We've done it before but it's been a little while. I usually don't get him to do it because I just can't feel anything from it. I need a lot of pressure to get myself to orgasm, and a tongue just can't do that. But maybe we should try again and go at it a little longer to see if something works.
Have you tried tongue AND vibrator??
Heather

Vicksburg, MS

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#8
May 19, 2007
 
He's pretty big, and I'm tiny (5'2, and aout 93 lbs). So if I go any bigger...well I don't know if that would be good.

I've tried riding him on top, and I think I might do that again. I've heard that you can grind your clit against his pelvic bone. Maybe I should go for that.

And no, no one else has made me come before. I've tried a vibrator and it was okay. Didn't orgasm but it felt good obviously. I did it alone though. Not with him.

Since: May 07

Monroe, CT

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#9
May 19, 2007
 
I would give on top a fair shot - you may need to do a whole lot before you start to see some orgasms =)
and yeah if you can position yourself with your cl*t angled down - that may help.
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pablo

Victoria, Canada

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#10
May 19, 2007
 
MAYBE you should try this.....bring a friewnd to give a helping hand or helping tongue or c**k!

from another thread!

I wish to hear from women who have experienced or maybe just fantasized the following scenario ...

" You are now on all fours having "suffered" ten minutes of tormenting cunnilingus by your lover and are waiting for a mutual male friend ( who is erect from your touch and from watching your body push upwards as he nibbled your breasts ) to enter you doggy style as your partner, lying under you, continues to lick your swollen clitoris...." Whew.... enough of the fantasy. Have you thought of, tried this?
Heather wrote:
He's pretty big, and I'm tiny (5'2, and aout 93 lbs). So if I go any bigger...well I don't know if that would be good.
I've tried riding him on top, and I think I might do that again. I've heard that you can grind your clit against his pelvic bone. Maybe I should go for that.
And no, no one else has made me come before. I've tried a vibrator and it was okay. Didn't orgasm but it felt good obviously. I did it alone though. Not with him.
Sesi_Y_J_

Russia

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#11
Jun 28, 2007
 
Use Sentia pills. They make libido higher. Women need high libido to have orgasms. Maybe you are very tired or have had a stress.

Since: Jun 07

Georgia

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#12
Jun 28, 2007
 
There are a lot of clitoral sensitizing creams available that might help. It sounds like you have desensitized yourself and it might be harder to feel sensations. It's a patented formula so there must be something legitimate about it:
[quote]United States Patent 20010029268
The invention comprises a topical compound preparation of sensitizing cream for application to the non-keratinized epithelium of a female, comprising a preparation of L-arginine and a preparation of menthol. The preparation of L-arginine may have a concentration of 4% or less, and the preparation of menthol has a concentration of 5% or less.[/quote]

Since: Jun 07

Georgia

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#13
Jun 28, 2007
 
Nina

Saint Petersburg, Russia

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#15
Jul 2, 2007
 
I use Sentia pills. They are proved to be very helpful. I have tried creams too but I think Sentia is more effective.

Since: Jul 07

Shanghai, China

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#17
Jul 3, 2007
 
I always get great orgasm from oral sex, masturbation, vibrator,fingers, but never came through fcuk, although I love man fcuk me, as much and hard as he can, I am always very juicy and hot, but my men usually ejaculate before I came, so this is why I can't come, my ex bf said that I need 5 energic men fcuk me continually,hahaaaaaaaaaaaa, yup, I guess so, I do love sex, why not?!;)
ForeskinFetish

Seminole, OK

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#20
Oct 19, 2013
 
I had the same problem for 20 years. I love sex a lot of it even though I never orgasmed. Finally I started seeing this guy, who is now my husband, and the first time we had sex I had the most intense orgasm, and continue to every time now. The only difference in him from other guys was he is uncircumcised and can last as long as I need him or want him to. He also has a big Cock but I'd been with men with big cocks before. There is one other thing I found different about his the shaft is way thicker than the head, I think that helps also. If anything ever happens between us I will never date a guy that's circumcised again. My saying now ... If your not uncut we're not gonna fuck!

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