Since: Feb 09

Muncie, IN

#1 Mar 8, 2009
Okay my problem is I can't stay erect for more than about 15 seconds before I go semi-hard and have to work to get back to a full erection.

My fiancee's body type is way different than mine. She's 5'6" about 110 pounds and I'm 6'3 280 pounds. It's not like I'm fat and cannot reach to her, it's just I get to the point of penetration and I go semi-soft then I go completely soft as I get more and more frustrated which ends in us just completely giving up on fooling around.

For the longest time in our relationship we didn't even attempt to have sex, we just did a lot of foreplay things and it was fun and still is fun.

I'm 26 years old and from what I am reading, it's probably not likely to have ED at this age. So I'm not sure what's going on. I don't have health insurance, so I can't really afford to see a doctor for him to deny giving me any medication.

When we do attempt it, we try to use condoms but when we are just fooling around without intercourse I don't stay hard and obviously I'm not wearing a condom in those instances. We thought it was the condoms at first that were restricting blood or something, now I just think it's me and doesn't have anything to do with the condom.

Our wedding night will be in May and it's really going to suck if I get frustrated and the night just blows up. I'm thinking of just faking sick that night, maybe say something tasted funny at the reception to get out of it. I need some real advice here.
Jack

Pleasanton, CA

#2 Mar 8, 2009
Birdmen wrote:
Okay my problem is I can't stay erect for more than about 15 seconds before I go semi-hard and have to work to get back to a full erection.
My fiancee's body type is way different than mine. She's 5'6" about 110 pounds and I'm 6'3 280 pounds. It's not like I'm fat and cannot reach to her, it's just I get to the point of penetration and I go semi-soft then I go completely soft as I get more and more frustrated which ends in us just completely giving up on fooling around.
For the longest time in our relationship we didn't even attempt to have sex, we just did a lot of foreplay things and it was fun and still is fun.
I'm 26 years old and from what I am reading, it's probably not likely to have ED at this age. So I'm not sure what's going on. I don't have health insurance, so I can't really afford to see a doctor for him to deny giving me any medication.
When we do attempt it, we try to use condoms but when we are just fooling around without intercourse I don't stay hard and obviously I'm not wearing a condom in those instances. We thought it was the condoms at first that were restricting blood or something, now I just think it's me and doesn't have anything to do with the condom.
Our wedding night will be in May and it's really going to suck if I get frustrated and the night just blows up. I'm thinking of just faking sick that night, maybe say something tasted funny at the reception to get out of it. I need some real advice here.
Hello, Well you don't want to miss the fun you will have on your wedding night. I think I would try Viagra before you give up. You are young to have ED but who knows, it might be in your mind also. But the little blue pills should do the trick. If you are like most of us you are most likely getting about 20 e-mails every week to buy Viagra over the internet. Give it a try. Good luck!

“guess who Lois?”

Since: Dec 06

A little hole in the wall.

#3 Mar 8, 2009
Jack wrote:
<quoted text>
Hello, Well you don't want to miss the fun you will have on your wedding night. I think I would try Viagra before you give up. You are young to have ED but who knows, it might be in your mind also. But the little blue pills should do the trick. If you are like most of us you are most likely getting about 20 e-mails every week to buy Viagra over the internet. Give it a try. Good luck!
good advice but I woudl not try any pharamceutical over th einternet ... some of those drugs can be dangerous if not prepared properly and inspaected by experts. It;s not wrht it to save a few bucks.

AT his age he should be good with just 25 mg ... he can buy a 100 mg pill and break it into 4 pieces .. that's about $3 per lay .. cheap!

“guess who Lois?”

Since: Dec 06

A little hole in the wall.

#4 Mar 8, 2009
Birdmen wrote:
Okay my problem is I can't stay erect for more than about 15 seconds before I go semi-hard and have to work to get back to a full erection.
My fiancee's body type is way different than mine. She's 5'6" about 110 pounds and I'm 6'3 280 pounds. It's not like I'm fat and cannot reach to her, it's just I get to the point of penetration and I go semi-soft then I go completely soft as I get more and more frustrated which ends in us just completely giving up on fooling around.
For the longest time in our relationship we didn't even attempt to have sex, we just did a lot of foreplay things and it was fun and still is fun.
I'm 26 years old and from what I am reading, it's probably not likely to have ED at this age. So I'm not sure what's going on. I don't have health insurance, so I can't really afford to see a doctor for him to deny giving me any medication.
When we do attempt it, we try to use condoms but when we are just fooling around without intercourse I don't stay hard and obviously I'm not wearing a condom in those instances. We thought it was the condoms at first that were restricting blood or something, now I just think it's me and doesn't have anything to do with the condom.
Our wedding night will be in May and it's really going to suck if I get frustrated and the night just blows up. I'm thinking of just faking sick that night, maybe say something tasted funny at the reception to get out of it. I need some real advice here.
280 lbs is a lot of weight even if you don't have much fat ... your body and heart are trying to sustein a lot of cells with that oxygen.

ALso, check triglycerides, cholesteral, iron, blood pressure ... there may be some medical clues to look into.

Can you stay hard for a long time when you masturbate? If so, then it is a different problem ... one involving you being fully relaxed during sex.

A woman giving me a good handjob or BJ allows me to relax and lay back and get full stimulation ... if you can't stay hard in that circumstance but you can when masturbating, then there is almost definitly a mental or physical issue here.

I would not marry until you;ve solved this problem othrwise you may end up divorced in a coupel of years or less anyhow .. unless she promises it will bnever be an issue for her ... why go through a possible divorce. POstpone the wedding until next year and solve your problem in the meantime.

Since: Jan 09

Atlanta, GA

#5 Mar 8, 2009
Seek medical help--immediately!!! There could be an underlying problem.

Since: Feb 09

Muncie, IN

#7 Mar 8, 2009
can* only sustain semi-hardness

“guess who Lois?”

Since: Dec 06

A little hole in the wall.

#8 Mar 8, 2009
Birdmen wrote:
can* only sustain semi-hardness
I can guess that semi-hard you can still ejaculate from handjob or BJ?

DO you get hard again just before you come?

Is it hard enough to gain entry into the vagina? It is possible to have intercourse with semi-hard if you use the hand to hold the base as you slide in and out (not easy with big hands or short penis though)... and of course you can't gain full depth with fast or hard strikes .. but you can managae something at least. SOme women like shallow entry and g-spot stimulatoin very enjoyable.

Since: Feb 09

Muncie, IN

#9 Mar 9, 2009
franko wrote:
<quoted text>I can guess that semi-hard you can still ejaculate from handjob or BJ?
DO you get hard again just before you come?
Is it hard enough to gain entry into the vagina? It is possible to have intercourse with semi-hard if you use the hand to hold the base as you slide in and out (not easy with big hands or short penis though)... and of course you can't gain full depth with fast or hard strikes .. but you can managae something at least. SOme women like shallow entry and g-spot stimulatoin very enjoyable.
The mechanics of our bodies together really don't make this possible. And usually no, I can't even get it in because she was a virgin when we started going out and I'd say we have only had sex about 10 times in 3 years and she's not very much into having my finger in her, she's more into clitoris stimulation so she's still very small and tight down there, making things even harder on us.
Join Free

“guess who Lois?”

Since: Dec 06

A little hole in the wall.

#10 Mar 9, 2009
Birdmen wrote:
<quoted text>
The mechanics of our bodies together really don't make this possible. And usually no, I can't even get it in because she was a virgin when we started going out and I'd say we have only had sex about 10 times in 3 years and she's not very much into having my finger in her, she's more into clitoris stimulation so she's still very small and tight down there, making things even harder on us.
I would think doggie style would make it possible???

I have anohter technique .. it works with a medium hieght bed ... the woman lays so her back so butt is on the edge of the bed, her legs held up to her chest so that her crotch is the closest thing to the edge of the bed and deep entry is possible. The guy stands at the edge of the bed and enters her standing up ... this allows full penetration and would work even for a guy and a woman with a big gut. If you are hard for those first 15 or 20 seconds and get her all excited before you enter her (ie. use good timing) then hopefully you can get good epentration at first, "OPEN HER UP" so to speak, and then continue with the techique even if you lose partial hardness.

From your point of view, don't get yoruself hard until you know she is realy excited and hopefully already opened up somewhat .. lets say you do oral sex on her for 5 or 10 minutes and get her near orgasm .. then stand up and masturbate yourself hard with one had while playing with her clit with the other ... as soon as yuo feel hard enough to enter her, push it is as much as you can wihtout huring her ... if she is near orgsm this might even bring on an orgasm? DOes she orgasm easilly?

It does sound like she is very patient with yuo ... you might be lucky and have a good caring woman here. It would help if she was open to alternaitves ... fingers, small dildos and vibrators can help. If she realizes this might help yhuor sex life then I would hope she gives it a try.

“I'm not bad..”

Since: Aug 08

I'm just drawn that way

#11 Mar 9, 2009
I'd suggest Viagra or something similar. You may be able to get something at a health food store that is an equivalent. I would also suggest weight loss for you. You may be suprised at the difference losing about 20- 30 pounds would make. Of course that will take a little time so invest in a little pill while you work on it. It is possible lose 10 -15 by may if you work really hard at it. Exercise makes a big difference in the way you feel about yourself and the effects on your body. Good luck. oh yeah and you could try some oral....
Warney

Australia

#12 Mar 9, 2009
you should practice on hookers every night til your wedding. maybe go without a condom then you can tell your new wife that you cant have sex because you have a STD. much less embarrasing than telling her you cant get it up

“guess who Lois?”

Since: Dec 06

A little hole in the wall.

#13 Mar 9, 2009
Warney wrote:
you should practice on hookers every night til your wedding. maybe go without a condom then you can tell your new wife that you cant have sex because you have a STD. much less embarrasing than telling her you cant get it up
this nuttiness has a familiar tone. Marge and family?

Since: Feb 09

Muncie, IN

#14 Mar 9, 2009
Doggy style does indeed work, she says it's uncomfortable and hurts her, like I said, she has a really small frame, plus she has a bad knee that she has surgery on, so lifting/straightening her legs is also hard to do, which would make it easier to get that initial penetration. Actually I think it's a combination of both of us. She's willing to work on it and said she'd do oral sex before we try now to make sure we are giving it our all. Thanks everyone for the suggestions, I will take... MOST of them into account and see what happens.
franko wrote:
<quoted text>I would think doggie style would make it possible???
I have anohter technique .. it works with a medium hieght bed ... the woman lays so her back so butt is on the edge of the bed, her legs held up to her chest so that her crotch is the closest thing to the edge of the bed and deep entry is possible. The guy stands at the edge of the bed and enters her standing up ... this allows full penetration and would work even for a guy and a woman with a big gut. If you are hard for those first 15 or 20 seconds and get her all excited before you enter her (ie. use good timing) then hopefully you can get good epentration at first, "OPEN HER UP" so to speak, and then continue with the techique even if you lose partial hardness.
From your point of view, don't get yoruself hard until you know she is realy excited and hopefully already opened up somewhat .. lets say you do oral sex on her for 5 or 10 minutes and get her near orgasm .. then stand up and masturbate yourself hard with one had while playing with her clit with the other ... as soon as yuo feel hard enough to enter her, push it is as much as you can wihtout huring her ... if she is near orgsm this might even bring on an orgasm? DOes she orgasm easilly?
It does sound like she is very patient with yuo ... you might be lucky and have a good caring woman here. It would help if she was open to alternaitves ... fingers, small dildos and vibrators can help. If she realizes this might help yhuor sex life then I would hope she gives it a try.

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