has anyone here ever fallen in love with a prostitute???...advise wanted...

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MAX PAYNE

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#1
Oct 31, 2007
 

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Since my marriage broke up 18 months ago I have taken to seeing prostitutes to help me get over loneliness and depression... I've ended up becoming a 'regualar' of one woman in particular. She is so gentle and exciting at the same time, the sex we have is a world away from what I used to experience with my wife and indeed my previous girlfriends. We also have talked about our lives together and seem to have formed a bond. The thing is that I'm realising that I'm falling in love with her and obviously it is not an ideal situation, but I'm wondering if perhaps it could work. We both tell eachother that we love eachother during sex, but I dont know how much she means it really. But she is always very affectionate and loving to me, more so than I think she would be if she was simply 'faking'.
I'd like to know if anyone else here has been in a simular situation?... have any men here fallen in love or got emotionally attached to prostitutes they were seeing?.... also if perhaps there are any women on here who have worked as escorts and perhaps fallen for a customer or had a customer fall for them?.
I'm sure this must happen sometimes.... how do the people deal with it?. Should I persue a proper relationship with this lady or is it a doomed relationship??.... I'd welcome any advise!....
MAX
Kay

Roseville, CA

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#2
Oct 31, 2007
 

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That is totally pathetic
qwerty

Birmingham, UK

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Oct 31, 2007
 

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First of all, this can't be an uncommon thing. There must have been many people falling in love with their prostitutes, and them loving back. By prostitutes I assume you mean escorts seeing as you live in the UK.

I advise that while with her, you get her in a serious, but not too serious, sort of attitude, and say in a way that seems as if you wont be too hurt if she doesn't love you back, that you think that you've fallen in love with her. You will soon get your answer from her in that way.

If you both do decide to have a relationship, I do hope that you aren't expecting her to give up her profession, and that you won't look down on her or put any pressure on her about what she does, because she may like it, it may be her profession of choice. I've heard of women with very high qualifications and high employability choose that as a job simply because they enjoy it, and want to enjoy their work.

Best of Luck.
MAX PAYNE

UK

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Oct 31, 2007
 

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qwerty wrote:
First of all, this can't be an uncommon thing. There must have been many people falling in love with their prostitutes, and them loving back. By prostitutes I assume you mean escorts seeing as you live in the UK.
I advise that while with her, you get her in a serious, but not too serious, sort of attitude, and say in a way that seems as if you wont be too hurt if she doesn't love you back, that you think that you've fallen in love with her. You will soon get your answer from her in that way.
If you both do decide to have a relationship, I do hope that you aren't expecting her to give up her profession, and that you won't look down on her or put any pressure on her about what she does, because she may like it, it may be her profession of choice. I've heard of women with very high qualifications and high employability choose that as a job simply because they enjoy it, and want to enjoy their work.
Best of Luck.
Yeah, thanks for the advise. And I certainly wouldnt start looking down on her because of what she does as it would be hypocritical of me after being one of her clients. And yes, shes an escort, though she calls herself a 'prostitute'... shes very intelligent and has said that she enjoys what she does... she's certainly no druggie or street girl... she doesnt even smoke..... she certainly blows apart many of the stereotypes that people seem to have about women like her... personally I've found her a lot more honest and giving than my exwife and previous girlfriends...
MAX PAYNE

UK

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Oct 31, 2007
 

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Kay wrote:
That is totally pathetic
Whats pathetic???.... your silly comment is the only pathetic thing here....
MAX PAYNE

UK

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#7
Oct 31, 2007
 

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I'm sure its not unheard of for prostitutes to fall for their clients and viseversa, its probably not something that many people talk about.... after all very few men still will admit to visiting a prostitute though a huge number must do it. But people seem to forget that prostitiutes are just normal people, theyre not monsters like some seem to think.... being with this woman recently has really opened my eyes to these things....
BigDix

United States

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#8
Oct 31, 2007
 

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That's no ho ! That's my wife.
Frankie

Fairfield, Australia

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Oct 31, 2007
 

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Hi Max. I am an ex-prostitute. I can't speak for your friend, but most prostitutes are very good actresses. They need to be. They have to have sex with so many different men a day. The develop a spiel according to want the customer wants or what the prostitute thinks they want.
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MAX PAYNE

UK

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Oct 31, 2007
 

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Frankie wrote:
Hi Max. I am an ex-prostitute. I can't speak for your friend, but most prostitutes are very good actresses. They need to be. They have to have sex with so many different men a day. The develop a spiel according to want the customer wants or what the prostitute thinks they want.
So do you think she's just playing me so that I go back to her?. I realise thats a possibility but then again she's done things that make me think that she does have a genuine feelings for me... whether they are actually 'love' or not I dont know...
Frankie

Fairfield, Australia

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#11
Oct 31, 2007
 
Like I said, I can't speak for her. I just know what I know.
Son ofa Hot Mama

Chico, CA

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Nov 1, 2007
 

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As a client, I've not fallen in love with a prostitute. But, I have found out at least three women I love were prostitutes. My opinion may be odd because I don't hate people who sell sex. I think the real wh*res are politicians such as George W. Bush, not the prostitutes who sell sex and get hated for it.
When I was 12 years old, my mother told me she was a prostitute, but I still love her more than anyone else. She was good to me.
A woman I dated years ago was a prostitute before we met, but I still loved her and the break up with her was not related to her past.
When I found out another close relative of mine was a prostitute, I didn't think less of her. When she arranged for her and I to discuss my finding out, I asked if she could help me find a good prostitute because I was lonely at the time. She told me she didn't want me to get into that. I guess she was honest enough to tell me that prohibition of prostitution has made prostitution so dog-eat-dog that the men who see prostitutes are easily taken advantage of.
So, if you find a woman you love was a prostitute, it shouldn't matter. But if you rent a prostitute and fall in love with her, it will only last as long as your saving account, especially if you are someone like George W. Bush or an Evangelical Christian.
Only me

Mexico, Mexico

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#13
Nov 1, 2007
 

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This happens and it can be beautiful! I suggest you read the book "11 minutes" from Paulo Coelho. I am living the same situation, she quit her job and we are starting a family. There are women with big hearts but also bitches in every profession...though let me warn you that women with sincere feelings, that are prostitutes is rare, very rare.
Alpha Omega Game

United States

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#14
Nov 1, 2007
 

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MAN, look shes a hore you're a John. You're paying cash ,shes tricking for cash. Thats all that is.
I think you need a healthly relationship that doesn't invlove meeting for dates in a allyway at 2am.

I had a buddy from the UK he told me that a man better watch where he sticks his willy over there because the hores are pretty looking but filthy.
Alpha Omega Game

United States

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#15
Nov 1, 2007
 

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Guys who rent hores must be pretty desperate. I can't even imagine being that despereate. I don't want to either.
Virgin Nerd

Columbus, OH

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Nov 2, 2007
 

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I'd be very careful Max.

Prostitution is usually a hard life and the women do what they think they must to survive.

It's possible she is being honest with you, but how will you know for sure?

If she does want a relationship with you, could you REALLY tolerate her "job?" You need to give this some thought as well.

Definitely have a serious talk with her about this. If she insists she really wants you, then have her meet you somewhere else and DON'T HAVE SEX. See if that lasts for awhile FIRST.

If it does, then maybe you have something.(Make damn sure it's really what you want!)

Just be careful. Unfortunately we live in a world where there is often that "war" between men and women. It's sad and so senseless.

Carl
MAX PAYNE

UK

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#17
Nov 2, 2007
 

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Alpha Omega Game wrote:
Guys who rent hores must be pretty desperate. I can't even imagine being that despereate. I don't want to either.
We dont go anywhere near alleys buddy, shes got a very smart flat and is certainly not 'filthy' in the way you are indicating. Also, if youve never been with a prostitute how can you know what they are like??..... you are just following the media profile of prostitutes all being drugged up alchies and that is often pure fiction.
As for being desperate, there must be a heck of a lot of desperate men about, most of them married...
qwerty

Birmingham, UK

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Nov 2, 2007
 

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MAX PAYNE wrote:
<quoted text>
We dont go anywhere near alleys buddy, shes got a very smart flat and is certainly not 'filthy' in the way you are indicating. Also, if youve never been with a prostitute how can you know what they are like??..... you are just following the media profile of prostitutes all being drugged up alchies and that is often pure fiction.
As for being desperate, there must be a heck of a lot of desperate men about, most of them married...
Well Max, I think that you'll find that if you look in atleast 90% of UK papers, including the Bargain Pages, you'll find escort services advertised. They are not strictly prostitutes because men pay them (usually hefty sums of money,100's to 1000's), to escort them places, to be with them, to be company. While some men expect sex with their escorts, no escort is ever obliged to have sex with the person they are escorting, it is totally up to them whether they decide to have sex with a person after he has payed for their service. Thats what makes it legal.

Usually, most escorts are clean women, that come to you for service. They are there because lonely men would like intimate female company, and the ptential option to have sex with her at the end, which is totally in the control of both people.
WhoUthink UrKidding

United States

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#19
Nov 2, 2007
 

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Alpha Omega Game wrote:
Guys who rent hores must be pretty desperate. I can't even imagine being that despereate. I don't want to either.
Rightous attitudes, like yours use hookers most.
dja

United States

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#20
Nov 5, 2007
 

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hi guys
This seems to be an older discussion, but I've been doing a little soul searching lately and it's proven to be very helpful.
Just as a twist to the conversation, I'll share a little.
I was involved with such a women for an entire year, I only paid her once, which was the very first time I met her.
she rarely if ever asked me for little more then change for a phone call after that,
as a matter of fact, She often looked for me even though she obviously had plenty of other options,(she was hot and plenty of other men looked for her)
she told me that she had fallen in love with me because i treated her special and i was different then the men she knew.
I have to admit i actually did treat her to realms different from her abusive street life,(to give you a hint, I am deeply involved in the music industry).
The "chemistry" between us was beyond what I could describe, and don"t get the wrong idea,(I've been around plenty).
We got to know each other very well, She even enrolled in a rehab program just to help make it work between us, or so she led me to believe.
I don't want to bore you with all the details, but to state it simply, I finally realized without a shadow of doubt that what I was dealing with was, what is known as a "PRO". There was always a hidden agenda, my home, my automobiles, my interesting career.
I grew up around these types of women all my life, but for the first time in my life I began to analyze why I dealt with them, and how unnecessary it was to put myself through such nonsense.
I will admit one thing however, and that is that for some of us It's not so much whether it's right or wrong and making the right choice.
It's a lot more complicated then that.
I think a country song said it best... "I was Looking for love in all the wrong places".
There may be others that are searching aswell.
So Remember always...
your never going to change the world, and your never going to change an individual,
but you can make changes for yourself.
It takes a long time to change, and even then the most you can expect is that they find a way of changing certain habits,
but the inner person will always stay the same, perhaps just in a different inviorment.
So moving forward, The best thing that could have happened, did in fact happen,
because of her very lifestyle she had to leave town.
Since our separation I have been able to refocus and get myself on track.
Our forced separation has helped me see that it was never what i thought it could be, but rather what it actually was,
it was what it was...
just a fantasy, just a break from reality and the pressure's i felt at the time :(
I realize now that these women all think the same, there is nothing unique about them.
and belive it or not i am now glad she is gone. So many doubts so many questions about her true intentions often kept me up at night,
but one thought helped me through it all.
and that was always about how easily it could have turned bad, really bad.
now my focus is on my priorities, but there is still a thought in the back of mind...
how strong am i going to be if she ever returns.
so I'm concentrating on me and not others, it seems selfish but it works!
stay strong everybody, and take care of yourselves...

“Not as devilish as I sound”

Since: Oct 07

Mongolia

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#21
Nov 5, 2007
 

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Be very, very careful.

A prostitute is not necessarily a bad person, and there are obviously prostitutes who marry after leaving their profession.

But remember, prostitutes are professionals in dealing with men. They know how to please, it's their job. You only get to see the facade, the great sex, the great service, the comments and gestures that are meant to make a man happy and hopefully make him come back again. A steady existing customer is a very good source of income for a prostitute, much better than trying to find new ones.

Don't believe all the things she tells you. Prostitution is a profession that can bring out the hardest, most ruthless side of a woman. She knows how to play men, she knows how to manipulate them, she knows how to lie to them. She has already developed the habit of seeing men as a an opportunity for cash. Not as people, but as "customers". That is a habit that is hard to break.

And just in case, don't ever get any illusions that you might be "saving" this girl. It's easy to feel sorry for them (in certain countries they make a habit of cultivating your pity), but that is the worst basis for any kind of relationship.

Also remember that there may be other men who she is cultivating as customers. It's quite possible that she'll see them again from time to time, even after she's quit the business. It's sad but true that prostitution can ruin women for a "normal" life.

Again, be very, very careful. I know, I learnt the hard way.

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