This seems to be an older discussion, but I've been doing a little soul searching lately and it's proven to be very helpful.
Just as a twist to the conversation, I'll share a little.
I was involved with such a women for an entire year, I only paid her once, which was the very first time I met her.
she rarely if ever asked me for little more then change for a phone call after that,
as a matter of fact, She often looked for me even though she obviously had plenty of other options,(she was hot and plenty of other men looked for her)
she told me that she had fallen in love with me because i treated her special and i was different then the men she knew.
I have to admit i actually did treat her to realms different from her abusive street life,(to give you a hint, I am deeply involved in the music industry).
The "chemistry" between us was beyond what I could describe, and don"t get the wrong idea,(I've been around plenty).
We got to know each other very well, She even enrolled in a rehab program just to help make it work between us, or so she led me to believe.
I don't want to bore you with all the details, but to state it simply, I finally realized without a shadow of doubt that what I was dealing with was, what is known as a "PRO". There was always a hidden agenda, my home, my automobiles, my interesting career.
I grew up around these types of women all my life, but for the first time in my life I began to analyze why I dealt with them, and how unnecessary it was to put myself through such nonsense.
I will admit one thing however, and that is that for some of us It's not so much whether it's right or wrong and making the right choice.
It's a lot more complicated then that.
I think a country song said it best... "I was Looking for love in all the wrong places".
There may be others that are searching aswell.
So Remember always...
your never going to change the world, and your never going to change an individual,
but you can make changes for yourself.
It takes a long time to change, and even then the most you can expect is that they find a way of changing certain habits,
but the inner person will always stay the same, perhaps just in a different inviorment.
So moving forward, The best thing that could have happened, did in fact happen,
because of her very lifestyle she had to leave town.
Since our separation I have been able to refocus and get myself on track.
Our forced separation has helped me see that it was never what i thought it could be, but rather what it actually was,
it was what it was...
just a fantasy, just a break from reality and the pressure's i felt at the time :(
I realize now that these women all think the same, there is nothing unique about them.
and belive it or not i am now glad she is gone. So many doubts so many questions about her true intentions often kept me up at night,
but one thought helped me through it all.
and that was always about how easily it could have turned bad, really bad.
now my focus is on my priorities, but there is still a thought in the back of mind...
how strong am i going to be if she ever returns.
so I'm concentrating on me and not others, it seems selfish but it works!
stay strong everybody, and take care of yourselves...