Posted in the Human Sexuality Forum
#1 Aug 27, 2012
This is a post for all these young ladies and gentleman considering a D/s dynamic.
A. Its something you need to consider very seriously before pursuing. Learn as much as you can before soliciting for a Dominus or Mistress. You don't want your first experience to be horrible due to ignorance. Some things to consider would be are you in need of structure, surrender and power exchange? Or do you see yourself as someone who likes light play, spankings, clamps etc? If its the latter you may be more of a kinkster than a sub.
B. Interview your potential Dom as though you were hiring them for a job. Again having some knowledge here makes this process less taxing.
C. Above all be safe and mindful of predatory people looking for a cheap thrill. These people have no interest in teaching you the art and helping you grow in your submission. The fact is they've nothing to teach.
#2 Aug 27, 2012
I posted this as information but also as a cautionary piece of information. I've seen subs beaten so badly during impact play that they had broken skin and deep tissue bruising. This happened because the Top wasn't aware the sub was in "sub space" (Google it). I've seen knife play go wrong. Novice Riggers who've done nerve damage through improper bindings.This all happens when someone claims the title Sir and starts trying to do things above their experience level. But mostly the psychological damage that is done when someone thinks they've surrendered to someone who will guide them, mentor them, give them what they need and when they're good...what they want. But they realize they weren't being submissive, they were being used.
I'm not trying to scare people away from it. I just don't think people really consider the consequences of uneducated choices. This is not 50 Shades of Grey.
“kik: as username”
Since: Jun 12
#3 Aug 27, 2012
Excelent. I could not have put it better.
The only thing that I would add.. is avoid a dom that claims to know it all..
The day I stop learning is the day I fail my sub.
#4 Aug 27, 2012
Exactly. Its on ongoing never ending education.
#5 Aug 27, 2012
Also ladies and gents if a "Dom" post a thread looking for a sub then 20 minutes later posts for sexting, Skype play etc...well that's a sign to avoid said person.
Real Doms take their role very seriously, its not a joke or game. That's why I suggest you really think about submission versus regular kink.
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