How can I get invited to a sex party? (Serious Inquiry)

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TheNightman

Avon, CT

#1 Feb 23, 2009
A month ago, I met a girl. We went out for coffee and I learned she's a student at a really prestigious art school where the students have a reputation for being pretty out-there. At the end of our date, she invited me to a party at this guy's apartment, which was pretty cool. It's when we got there that things started to get strange.

When we got there, she greeted the guy by making out with him when he opened the door, which was discouraging, since she was my date. But then again, I realized it as an opportunity to meet girls at the party.

I chatted with the girl a bit, but I tried talking to other people there; the host of course. I tried to talk to a few girls; the usual "Hey. What's your name/major/etc." but the conversations pretty much ended there.

I couldn't think of much to talk about. Everyone was talking about art galleries and music and plays with absurd detail and passion. It's not that I don't appreciate art and music; I'm no philistine, but, I'm a chemistry major. I had no idea what these jazz theater majors were talking about.

After being there for about half an hour, everyone sits in a circle in the living room, and I was invited to take a seat. They all start doing drugs (marijuana and cocaine) I declined when it got to me, I just continued with my drink and my cigarette.

Once everyone's done doing lines, this guy and girl start making out and feeling eachother up. After that, another guy and a girl start making out. Next, this guy is going back and forth between 2 girls. The girl I came with starts making out with the host and all of a sudden, I'm in the middle of a coked-up orgy. People actually started taking their clothes of and continued going at it right there in the living room infront of everyone else.

Believe me, I wanted to join in, but how? I could barely speak or relate to anyone there. The few girls I attempted to talk to had fluttered off and my date was already taken. Not to mention that I didn't do coke with any of them. All I know is that at that moment, I don't think I've ever felt more out of place and alone. There were more girls than guys at the party and I wasn't even getting action because some guys had 2 girls. I just sat there for maybe 5 minutes, and when I realized I probably wasn't going to be able to partake and that I'm probably only in the way, I sneaked out. I chilled out at a bar down the block for a while until I'm sober enough to drive home.

She called me later to ask why I left and asked if they made me uncomfortable. I assured her that wasn't the case and that I just had to go because I had work in the morning (I didn't) and she suggested meeting again.

We've been out once since then and chatted a few times, but still, I resented I never got to partake in what transpired that night. So what can I do? How can a regular guy like me break into this lifestyle these people had? How can I get invited to another orgy?

“Tri-County Area”

Since: Feb 09

Ottawa, Canada

#2 Feb 23, 2009
try craigslist.org and put a smile on your face.
:-D

“I'm not just white, I'm pasty”

Since: Sep 08

Columbia, MO

#3 Feb 23, 2009
TheNightman wrote:
A month ago, I met a girl. We went out for coffee and I learned she's a student at a really prestigious art school where the students have a reputation for being pretty out-there. At the end of our date, she invited me to a party at this guy's apartment, which was pretty cool. It's when we got there that things started to get strange.
When we got there, she greeted the guy by making out with him when he opened the door, which was discouraging, since she was my date. But then again, I realized it as an opportunity to meet girls at the party.
I chatted with the girl a bit, but I tried talking to other people there; the host of course. I tried to talk to a few girls; the usual "Hey. What's your name/major/etc." but the conversations pretty much ended there.
I couldn't think of much to talk about. Everyone was talking about art galleries and music and plays with absurd detail and passion. It's not that I don't appreciate art and music; I'm no philistine, but, I'm a chemistry major. I had no idea what these jazz theater majors were talking about.
After being there for about half an hour, everyone sits in a circle in the living room, and I was invited to take a seat. They all start doing drugs (marijuana and cocaine) I declined when it got to me, I just continued with my drink and my cigarette.
Once everyone's done doing lines, this guy and girl start making out and feeling eachother up. After that, another guy and a girl start making out. Next, this guy is going back and forth between 2 girls. The girl I came with starts making out with the host and all of a sudden, I'm in the middle of a coked-up orgy. People actually started taking their clothes of and continued going at it right there in the living room infront of everyone else.
Believe me, I wanted to join in, but how? I could barely speak or relate to anyone there. The few girls I attempted to talk to had fluttered off and my date was already taken. Not to mention that I didn't do coke with any of them. All I know is that at that moment, I don't think I've ever felt more out of place and alone. There were more girls than guys at the party and I wasn't even getting action because some guys had 2 girls. I just sat there for maybe 5 minutes, and when I realized I probably wasn't going to be able to partake and that I'm probably only in the way, I sneaked out. I chilled out at a bar down the block for a while until I'm sober enough to drive home.
She called me later to ask why I left and asked if they made me uncomfortable. I assured her that wasn't the case and that I just had to go because I had work in the morning (I didn't) and she suggested meeting again.
We've been out once since then and chatted a few times, but still, I resented I never got to partake in what transpired that night. So what can I do? How can a regular guy like me break into this lifestyle these people had? How can I get invited to another orgy?
May I suggest something? DON'T!

You don't know what diseases anyone has and what anyone can give you, so I'd suggest you stay out. And this girl you like, since she does this sort of thing often you probably won't be able to have a very solid relationship with her, and how do you know that she's clean?

Plus being in a relationship with someone that does drugs is tough, it often leads to you wondering if you're dating them, or the drug. It's really hard to tell sometimes.

So once again, my personal suggestion is...DON'T!
TheNightman

Avon, CT

#4 Feb 23, 2009
Excuse me, but I didn't ask whether I should or should not do this.

I asked how do I do this.

I've considered the risks. There's no reason why I can't wear a condom. And it's pretty clear this girl is not relationship material. But she seems like she wants to be friends.

My question is, how can I get into this crowd? Like I said, I wanted to partake but I wasn't getting invitation or clues from any of the girls there.

“Tri-County Area”

Since: Feb 09

Ottawa, Canada

#5 Feb 23, 2009
Yeah, I agree with FSGirl. That one was definitely some diseased skank wannabe intellectual. Ever notice how any stoner and drug addict plays the deep thinker card?
She'll end up doing porn... to support her habit

“Tri-County Area”

Since: Feb 09

Ottawa, Canada

#6 Feb 23, 2009
LOL

“Tri-County Area”

Since: Feb 09

Ottawa, Canada

#7 Feb 23, 2009
Theater major, you said she was?
LOL

“Tri-County Area”

Since: Feb 09

Ottawa, Canada

#8 Feb 23, 2009
TheNightman wrote:
Excuse me, but I didn't ask whether I should or should not do this.
I asked how do I do this.
I've considered the risks. There's no reason why I can't wear a condom. And it's pretty clear this girl is not relationship material. But she seems like she wants to be friends.
My question is, how can I get into this crowd? Like I said, I wanted to partake but I wasn't getting invitation or clues from any of the girls there.
Start reading up on theater and the arts. Ya' know, for small talk. But I think you weren't included because you didn't do drugs with them.
Join Free
TheNightman

Hartford, CT

#9 Feb 23, 2009
The problem is, I've only seen this girl once in the past month, and that was just to meet up to catch up for lunch after classes (I go to a different university) We've talked online but that's about it. I haven't been invited to another such party since.

Like I said, even if I do get in, what can I do to get acquainted (in more way than one) with girls at this party?
TheNightman

Hartford, CT

#10 Feb 23, 2009
anymore advice, please?

“I'm not just white, I'm pasty”

Since: Sep 08

Columbia, MO

#11 Feb 24, 2009
Fine you want advice here it is! I can't tell you how to get invited is to her than to hang around her more. There's no real way garauntee you'll get an invite.

Once you're in though you have two options either lose the inhibitions some what that doesn't involve doing anything illegal.

Or smoke up with them (I don't suggest coke, but weed and alcohol do the trick very nicely, especially when mixed together)

When they start going at it, walk up to a girl (one that's not taken or one that's in a threesome situation - it'll make it easier) and put your arm (slowly) around her waist while standing behind her. Give her a second to realize what's happening then start kissing on her neck. Considering the situation she'll probably respond positively. You'll either end up in a foursome or you'll get the girl to come go with just you.

Good luck!

Since: Jan 09

Round Lake, IL

#12 Feb 24, 2009
TheNightman wrote:
The problem is, I've only seen this girl once in the past month, and that was just to meet up to catch up for lunch after classes (I go to a different university) We've talked online but that's about it. I haven't been invited to another such party since.
Like I said, even if I do get in, what can I do to get acquainted (in more way than one) with girls at this party?
Ask her. Period/dot. Very simple.

“False Prophet”

Since: Jan 08

hamilton

#13 Feb 24, 2009
These thinga are always usually 1,000 miles away from where you live

same as singles you want to meet.

Naturally PC Americans are warning about dangers to anything immoral. Which can mean just about anything slightly different these days.

Like sounds like a case of students away from home and parental constraints and the associated WASP hang ups about dating times and curfews.

That means they all middle class Chachi and Joannie types and very clean sexually. They'll all come from church going homes and spreading their repressed oats befor gwtting married and repressing their own kids who in turn will got to college and have orgies themselves.

Go out and get your ass screwed.

“I'm not just white, I'm pasty”

Since: Sep 08

Columbia, MO

#14 Feb 24, 2009
hinamanu wrote:
These thinga are always usually 1,000 miles away from where you live
same as singles you want to meet.
Naturally PC Americans are warning about dangers to anything immoral. Which can mean just about anything slightly different these days.
Like sounds like a case of students away from home and parental constraints and the associated WASP hang ups about dating times and curfews.
That means they all middle class Chachi and Joannie types and very clean sexually. They'll all come from church going homes and spreading their repressed oats befor gwtting married and repressing their own kids who in turn will got to college and have orgies themselves.
Go out and get your ass screwed.
I don't warn people not to do things because they're slightly different, I warn people not to do things becuase personal experience teaches you things that you can learn no other way. Just because I can look back and say "damn, shound't have done that" doesn't mean that I shouldn't pass that on to someone else.

Theater types can be clean, middle class kids, or they can be sexually overactive accidentally screwed someone not so clean, kids. Diseases happen. Some of them cannot be prevented even if you wear a condom (look it up) and condoms do break, that's a fun experience to have, or slip off or whatever.

I offered my two cents, but since he instisted I gave my advice on what to do as well.

Good luck and make your own conclusions

“False Prophet”

Since: Jan 08

hamilton

#15 Feb 24, 2009
"Good luck and make your own conclusions"

while you're still allowed to as thinking adults.

PC means 'perfoming children' for the system
TheNightman

Avon, CT

#16 Feb 24, 2009
MessyJessie wrote:
<quoted text>
Ask her. Period/dot. Very simple.
You serious? I don't want to seem imposing by inviting myself.

We haven't really seen or talked that much since
TheNightman

Avon, CT

#17 Feb 24, 2009
hinamanu wrote:
PC means 'perfoming children' for the system
Maybe that's a New Zealand thing, because in the US, PC means "Politically Correct" (eager NOT to offend women, gays, religious minorities and people of color).

Since: Jan 09

Waukegan, IL

#18 Feb 24, 2009
TheNightman wrote:
<quoted text>
You serious? I don't want to seem imposing by inviting myself.
We haven't really seen or talked that much since
Yes. Just say you were taken aback before but ready to try it again. She'll be intrigued and I'm sure she will take you up on that. Besides what's the worst that could happen?
TheNightman

Avon, CT

#19 Feb 24, 2009
MessyJessie wrote:
<quoted text>
Yes. Just say you were taken aback before but ready to try it again. She'll be intrigued and I'm sure she will take you up on that. Besides what's the worst that could happen?
I could come off as too eager or pressing and she could say no.

“I'm not just white, I'm pasty”

Since: Sep 08

Columbia, MO

#20 Feb 24, 2009
TheNightman wrote:
<quoted text>
I could come off as too eager or pressing and she could say no.
Then don't sound too eager. Mention that night and say you had a lot of fun with her. Say that because of work you really had to get going but you met some cool people that night and would be interested in getting to know her friends more.

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