“Smile,make 'em wonder......”

Since: Jan 11

Phoenix

#85 May 11, 2011
This is to "Just Me Alone": Such a wonderful thing you are doing, openning up your life to try and help RushFan see he may need to rethink his decision. Good people make the world such a better place.

“Life is meant”

Since: Apr 11

to be lived..

#86 May 11, 2011
Lifeloveahhhh wrote:
This is to "Just Me Alone": Such a wonderful thing you are doing, openning up your life to try and help RushFan see he may need to rethink his decision. Good people make the world such a better place.
Thanks, I just am such an advocate now for early detection and I hope to let men know that prostate cancer is not a death sentence for you or your sex life. Trust me, we have fun.:)

When researching sex after surgery I stumbled upon this site which led me to the Human Sexuality forum. I am hooked now and have met a lot of genuinely nice people here. So glad to help anyone anytime.
rushfan

Keewatin, Canada

#87 May 12, 2011
you are all so kind, seriously you have made me cry several times.
i live in rural Canada where third rate doctors and surgery by scalpel are the only options ( there are no deVinci machines within one thousand miles and not covered by insurance)
My wife's mental health is extremely important to me and my children - We nearly lost her once and I can't put her though the stress of worrying needlessly about me.
I plan to seek second opinion through Best Doctors (Harvard trained physicians) and if it is the only way to see my kids get married, I i will go through with the surgery.
i have copied the article that influenced my original decision.
I promise to follow the advice that I get.
thank you JMA, larry and franko- you did get me to seek other opinions which I wouldn't have otherwise.
there is a special place in the universe for you.
August 30, 2010, 5:00 PM
A Rush to Operating Rooms That Alters Men’s Lives
By DANA JENNINGS
Jeanette Ortiz-Burnett/The New York Times
As I scuffed through the stations of the prostate-cancer cross these past two years, I sometimes wondered whether I wasn’t a dupe caught up in a Robin Cook medical thriller.
Sure, the biopsy (so I was told) showed that my prostate was cancerous. And after it was removed, the pathology report revealed that the cancer was unexpectedly aggressive, thrusting me from the relative comforts of Stage 1 to the deep woods of Stage 3.
But at least on the surface, the cancer itself never did any damage. It was the treatments that razed me — the surgery, radiation and hormones producing a catalog of miseries that included impotence, incontinence and hot flashes. And a small voice kept whispering: What if this is all a lie? A dark conspiracy of the global medical-industrial complex?
And now comes “Invasion of the Prostate Snatchers,” by Ralph H. Blum and Dr. Mark Scholz, effectively confirming my whimsical paranoia.
Mr. Blum, a cultural anthropologist and writer, has lived with prostate cancer for 20 years without radical treatment, and Dr. Scholz is an oncologist who has treated the disease exclusively since 1995.
Their book, written tag-team style, is a provocative and frank look at the bewildering world of prostate cancer, from the current state of the multibillion-dollar industry to the range of available treatments.
About 200,000 cases of prostate cancer are diagnosed each year in the United States, and the authors say nearly all of them are overtreated. Most men, they persuasively argue, would be better served having their cancer managed as a chronic condition.
Why? Because most prostate cancers are lackadaisical — the fourth-class mail of their kind. The authors say “active surveillance” is an effective initial treatment for most men.
They add that only about 1 in 7 men with newly diagnosed prostate cancer are at risk for a serious form of the disease.“Out of 50,000 radical prostatectomies performed every year in the United States alone,” Dr. Scholz writes,“more than 40,000 are unnecessary. In other words, the vast majority of men with prostate cancer would have lived just as long without any operation at all. Most did not need to have their sexuality cut out.”........

I did, but I’m still maimed. In my experience, doctors play down punishing side effects like incontinence, impotence and shrinking of the penis. Those are just words when you hear them, but beyond language when you go through them.

“Life is meant”

Since: Apr 11

to be lived..

#88 May 12, 2011
Rushfan, I am so glad to hear you are seeking advice from another team of doctors. You have to be your own advocate and get all the information before making your own personal choice. I just didn't want you to think it was all gloom and doom to your sex life.
Do you know what your PSA level is or what your Stage is? Did your prostate feel normal during the DRE? All these plus your biopsy results are determining factors for your doctor to discuss with you. Myhusbands biopsy showed the cancer cells were in 9 % of the core samples. Although my husband was only stage 1 his cancer was best treated with radical surgery because of the aggressive type of cancer and his father and maternal grand father both died from cancer that had spread to their bones but originated in the prostate. Their cancer went undetected until it was too late. A shame but common then.
The doctors recommend if there is a family history of prostate cancer the testing needs to done earlier. If you have any sons or brothers they need to have annual DRE and PSA tests done beginning at age 30 instead of 50. As more information is becoming available I expect the age will be reduced to 40 for initial PSA testing in men.

Because of the location of the cancer within his prostate the seed therapy was not an option. To be honest the chemo and radiation treatments scared him worse than the cancer. His surgery was a success and no treatments were necessary following surgery. If necessary, the radiation option most favorable to him was the treatment where the insert bb sized pellets of gold into the prostate where the cancer is and the radiation is so precise with the aid of the pellets, that there is little worry of an overkill of radiation.

You have to wait at least 6 weeks after having a biopsy to see a surgeon to allow the prostate to completely heal from the biopsy and all swelling is gone. Use this time to educate yourself and talk with as many doctors, friends, relatives as necessary to come to the best option for you. You are in my thoughts and prayers. God bless.

“guess who Lois?”

Since: Dec 06

A little hole in the wall.

#89 May 13, 2011
rushfan wrote:
you are all so kind, seriously you have made me cry several times.
i live in rural Canada where third rate doctors and surgery by scalpel are the only options ( there are no deVinci machines within one thousand miles and not covered by insurance)
My wife's mental health is extremely important to me and my children - We nearly lost her once and I can't put her though the stress of worrying needlessly about me.
I plan to seek second opinion through Best Doctors (Harvard trained physicians) and if it is the only way to see my kids get married, I i will go through with the surgery.
i have copied the article that influenced my original decision.
I promise to follow the advice that I get.
thank you JMA, larry and franko- you did get me to seek other opinions which I wouldn't have otherwise.
there is a special place in the universe for you.
August 30, 2010, 5:00 PM
A Rush to Operating Rooms That Alters Men’s Lives
By DANA JENNINGS
Jeanette Ortiz-Burnett/The New York Times
As I scuffed through the stations of the prostate-cancer cross these past two years, I sometimes wondered whether I wasn’t a dupe caught up in a Robin Cook medical thriller.
Sure, the biopsy (so I was told) showed that my prostate was cancerous. And after it was removed, the pathology report revealed that the cancer was unexpectedly aggressive, thrusting me from the relative comforts of Stage 1 to the deep woods of Stage 3.
But at least on the surface, the cancer itself never did any damage. It was the treatments that razed me — the surgery, radiation and hormones producing a catalog of miseries that included impotence, incontinence and hot flashes. And a small voice kept whispering: What if this is all a lie? A dark conspiracy of the global medical-industrial complex?
And now comes “Invasion of the Prostate Snatchers,” by Ralph H. Blum and Dr. Mark Scholz, effectively confirming my whimsical paranoia.
Mr. Blum, a cultural anthropologist and writer, has lived with prostate cancer for 20 years without radical treatment, and Dr. Scholz is an oncologist who has treated the disease exclusively since 1995.
Their book, written tag-team style, is a provocative and frank look at the bewildering world of prostate cancer, from the current state of the multibillion-dollar industry to the range of available treatments.
About 200,000 cases of prostate cancer are diagnosed each year in the United States, and the authors say nearly all of them are overtreated. Most men, they persuasively argue, would be better served having their cancer managed as a chronic condition.
Why? Because most prostate cancers are lackadaisical — the fourth-class mail of their kind. The authors say “active surveillance” is an effective initial treatment for most men.
They add that only about 1 in 7 men with newly diagnosed prostate cancer are at risk for a serious form of the disease.“Out of 50,000 radical prostatectomies performed every year in the United States alone,” Dr. Scholz writes,“more than 40,000 are unnecessary. In other words, the vast majority of men with prostate cancer would have lived just as long without any operation at all. Most did not need to have their sexuality cut out.”........
I did, but I’m still maimed. In my experience, doctors play down punishing side effects like incontinence, impotence and shrinking of the penis. Those are just words when you hear them, but beyond language when you go through them.
there's a special place for you too ...

That article is one man's experience ... you need to get a collective series of feedbacks ...you now have more than yuo did before thanks to this thread.

You may want to do 2 or 3 more assessments or even biopsies in the next few months to see if you can determinee how agressive the version you have is and see if surgery is even necesasry ... but you can't let it go to long because cancer does spread.

I'm sure you can find a way to get the surgery option with the best technology if you work at it.
Larry

Manchester, NH

#90 May 13, 2011
rushfan,
I hope you do find a way to have that surgery. My neighbor was buried 3 months ago. He had the same as I had. He was 4 years older than me also.
See, no one dies from prostate cancer. they die from what happens once prostate cancer spreads beyond the prostate. In his case he waited too long, the cancer got into his spine (which is close to the prostate...and well, don't let that happen, it's not a pretty sight and from what I learned, it's a miserable experience. I still use a cuff daily because I have a bit of leakage but it gets better every month. Yes, we measure progress in months now, something I never did before. I always wanted the instant fix...ain't gonna happen here and that's alright. I actually learned to take time for what matters most now.
Where there is a will, there is a way. Keep on keeping on and you'll find that opportunity that I had. Watchful waiting usually ends in disaster, the numbers are bleak from what I read...

“guess who Lois?”

Since: Dec 06

A little hole in the wall.

#91 May 13, 2011
Larry wrote:
rushfan,
I hope you do find a way to have that surgery. My neighbor was buried 3 months ago. He had the same as I had. He was 4 years older than me also.
See, no one dies from prostate cancer. they die from what happens once prostate cancer spreads beyond the prostate. In his case he waited too long, the cancer got into his spine (which is close to the prostate...and well, don't let that happen, it's not a pretty sight and from what I learned, it's a miserable experience. I still use a cuff daily because I have a bit of leakage but it gets better every month. Yes, we measure progress in months now, something I never did before. I always wanted the instant fix...ain't gonna happen here and that's alright. I actually learned to take time for what matters most now.
Where there is a will, there is a way. Keep on keeping on and you'll find that opportunity that I had. Watchful waiting usually ends in disaster, the numbers are bleak from what I read...
back when I was a kid (38 yearsa go, or so)... my music teacher died of prostrate cancer ... back then there was not much that could be done.
Joe

Singapore, Singapore

#92 May 21, 2011
Jose wrote:
Don't have surgery. Have sex for a few years, and then die. We all have to die anyway.
What an idiotic comment, Life is so much more than sex..like seeing you daughter married and playing with your grandchild. Fightfor all the life you can.
Join Free
withnail fan uk

Godalming, UK

#93 May 22, 2011
just me alone wrote:
<quoted text>
Thanks, I just am such an advocate now for early detection and I hope to let men know that prostate cancer is not a death sentence for you or your sex life. Trust me, we have fun.:)
When researching sex after surgery I stumbled upon this site which led me to the Human Sexuality forum. I am hooked now and have met a lot of genuinely nice people here. So glad to help anyone anytime.
Hi - alot of good comments out there ,especially from "just me alone" I was just wondering if anyone was suffering the same as me and maybe could offer some help.
I was diagnosed with Prostate cancer in August 2010 and had surgery in Jan 2011.(i am 58)So far so good -nil PSA after 3 months and bladder function slowly returning to normal. Physically feeling quite well although get tired very easily.
However sex life and erections are non existant and depression is setting in. I have been taking 5ml Cialis for two months with no effect and so dont attempt sex for this reason.I have now started crying from time to time ( in private ) which is so unlike me.
My wife and I have been married fof 35 years this year and have been soulmates for all that time, but unfortunately she doesn`t seem to be very understanding on this issue ,has become very intolerant of me and this has realy badly affected me and knocked my confidence considerably.
I would welcome any suggestions!

“guess who Lois?”

Since: Dec 06

A little hole in the wall.

#94 May 22, 2011
withnail fan uk wrote:
<quoted text>
Hi - alot of good comments out there ,especially from "just me alone" I was just wondering if anyone was suffering the same as me and maybe could offer some help.
I was diagnosed with Prostate cancer in August 2010 and had surgery in Jan 2011.(i am 58)So far so good -nil PSA after 3 months and bladder function slowly returning to normal. Physically feeling quite well although get tired very easily.
However sex life and erections are non existant and depression is setting in. I have been taking 5ml Cialis for two months with no effect and so dont attempt sex for this reason.I have now started crying from time to time ( in private ) which is so unlike me.
My wife and I have been married fof 35 years this year and have been soulmates for all that time, but unfortunately she doesn`t seem to be very understanding on this issue ,has become very intolerant of me and this has realy badly affected me and knocked my confidence considerably.
I would welcome any suggestions!
Some questions for yuo ...

are you making sure your wife is sexualy satisfied despite the lack of erections? Are you fingering her to orgasm. or giving her oral sex, perhaps try using d!ldos or vibrators?

Are you getting even a slight enlargening (a semi-erection?)... if so your wife can give you handjobs and BJ's ... I heard that it is possible to have an orgasm even without full erection ... even if you can only achieve that by masturbating but she can participate by fondling your genital region, licking your balls, etc ...

It's too bad your wife is not more supportive, your life was in danger .. but this requires a change in attitude that intercourse is not the only way to achive sexual intimacy.
withnail fan uk

Godalming, UK

#95 May 22, 2011
franko wrote:
<quoted text>Some questions for yuo ...
are you making sure your wife is sexualy satisfied despite the lack of erections? Are you fingering her to orgasm. or giving her oral sex, perhaps try using d!ldos or vibrators?
Are you getting even a slight enlargening (a semi-erection?)... if so your wife can give you handjobs and BJ's ... I heard that it is possible to have an orgasm even without full erection ... even if you can only achieve that by masturbating but she can participate by fondling your genital region, licking your balls, etc ...
It's too bad your wife is not more supportive, your life was in danger .. but this requires a change in attitude that intercourse is not the only way to achive sexual intimacy.
Thanks Franko for your comments-unfortunately my wife is a little "anti " when it comes to sex and just the words Dildo and vibrator would put her in a bad mood !
She has been extremely supportive in every other way during this ordeal except in the "bedroom" department and I am now starting to think it`s a lost cause. To be honest i am happy to be alive and would willingly spend the rest of my life with her without sex but there is always that niggling feeling in the back of my head saying that life could be better.With regads to erection - no nothing not even a whimper - and -licking my balls?- no chance - thats never happened to me in 35 years so will never happen now. Thanks for your reply though - I really appreciate it.

“guess who Lois?”

Since: Dec 06

A little hole in the wall.

#96 May 22, 2011
withnail fan uk wrote:
<quoted text>
Thanks Franko for your comments-unfortunately my wife is a little "anti " when it comes to sex and just the words Dildo and vibrator would put her in a bad mood !
She has been extremely supportive in every other way during this ordeal except in the "bedroom" department and I am now starting to think it`s a lost cause. To be honest i am happy to be alive and would willingly spend the rest of my life with her without sex but there is always that niggling feeling in the back of my head saying that life could be better.With regads to erection - no nothing not even a whimper - and -licking my balls?- no chance - thats never happened to me in 35 years so will never happen now. Thanks for your reply though - I really appreciate it.
sounds like yuor wife is less into sex than my own ex ... it's a good thing your relationnship overall seems good though.

It;s funny ,
... some women love their toys and others are offended by the use of anything artificial.

I was meaning that you would use the toy with her, not just her by herself ...

“Life is meant”

Since: Apr 11

to be lived..

#97 May 22, 2011
withnail fan uk wrote:
<quoted text>
Hi - alot of good comments out there ,especially from "just me alone" I was just wondering if anyone was suffering the same as me and maybe could offer some help.
I am so glad you had a great outcome. The crying is probably just the emotional roller coaster you have been on since your diagnosis.It is just a release of your overwhelming emotions.Don't worry about that.
After 5 months the incontinence is no longer a problem with my husband. So, you should be there soon, too. Was the doctor able to save both nerve bundles and reattach them successfully? If so, you will not have any true natural full erections for 1-2 years. This is normal. Did you not have to attend any classes as to what to expect after surgery? If you need more information you need to speak with your urologists but I can tell you what we were told. The e.d. meds are for helping the nerves to heal not necessarily for achieving erections. They may help later with that but not now. What you are experiencing or lack of experiencing is normal. If you do want to have sex with your wife you need to invest in a vacuum pump. His doctor signed a statement needed for insurance purposes stating it was for penile rehabilitation following surgery. The pump was $500. which our insurance paid 100% because we had met our major medical deductible. Don't let the price scare you I am sure if you have no insurance it is sold cheaper. The name and phone number of the company we used was Firma Medical 1-800-771-9263 ext. 101. The device is called a VED Classic Axis Ultra. It is written as a prescription medically necessary. This device is battery operated and easy to use. It should be used daily if possible for getting the blood pumping back into the penis for rehab but it is used for getting and maintaining an erection for sex. As your nerves wake back up or reattach themselves the pump will work better each time. The key is to relax. The pump comes with an instructional dvd and a number to call for any questions. Your physician really should have advised you to get one for rehab and for sex. This should solve the problem as for the lack of sex. Your erections will become harder with time. The doctor said you may lose an inch in length but gain it in girth.:) The orgasms, my husband says, and others say are more intense and better post-op. Only difference is no ejaculate.

I'm not really sure what you mean by your wife being intolerant of you. Please explain. I can't say for her but with me I cried before the surgery because I knew the spontaneity would be gone, I was overwhelmed with the fear of losing him and then the relief he was cancer free. It is very emotional for us women, too.

As for the suggestions Franko gave you they are all good suggestions but only you know what she is agreeable to. She may just want you to snuggle and hold her right now and later you can try pleasing her manually or orally. Don't forget that women still need to be comforted, held and caressed even without the sex. The pump should be just what you need to begin having sex with your wife again. I hope this helps and if you have any more questions please feel free to ask me or send me a private message. My best to you. Celebrate the fact you are still alive and here to spend another 35 years with each other hopefully.
Chucksgirl

Colchester, CT

#98 May 22, 2011
Sam wrote:
<quoted text>
Its probably a turn off for all women if it cant get hard...
I was only married to my husband for 4 months before he had to have his prostate removed. We had been together for 6 years prior to getting married. Don't worry...if you find a loving partner, you can still have a fantastic sex life. And I enjoy giving him oral sex more now because his penis is not so big that I can't get the whole thing in my mouth...I CAN get it all in my mouth and we BOTH enjoy that. I can get him partially hard so since you can already do that, a loving woman may be able to help you the rest of the way! As far as being hard, there are many thing that can be used that may help...Viagara, the pump, injections( although that one does sound painful). We have a better sex life now than before, and I am so grateful he is still around the love between us has grown tremendously! This is a late comment because I just saw this post but I hope you have found a wonderful woman by now who doesn't care about how hard you can get.
Jerome

Hawthorne, NJ

#99 May 23, 2011
What to do wrote:
This post is for all the men who have prostate cancer or are worried about prostate cancer. One of the most feared side effects of therapy for prostate cancer is the impact on sexual health.
The net effect of someone having their prostate removed is:
1) He will lose the ability to have an ejaculate, and will be sterile. You can still have children with your own sperm by artificial means.
2) He will maintain full sensation of the penis. With masturbation or other stimulation, he will still have the ability to have an orgasm.
3) He will probably lose the ability to get a firm erection after surgery. I have had many patients who kept their erections with robotic surgery, but this is not the rule. With time he will hopefully get his erections back normally.
Factors that are responsible for the ability to get erections are:
1) Preoperative function- Surgery can not help erections. If they are not that good to start, then they are less likely to come back.
2) Age- The older the patient, the more they need the nerves working perfectly to have erections.
3) Other medical problems- Illnesses that affect erections such as diabetes and high blood pressure will not help.
4) Frequency of intercourse- The more sexually active the person is, the better the recovery rate.
5) The ability of the surgeon to spare the nerves. If the cancer is such that the nerve shouldn't be spared, erections are less likely to come back. If the cancer is such that the nerves are able to be spared, then technical factors such as how much tissue is saved, using less cautery in the areas of the nerve bundles, and stretching the nerves less all play a role in recovery.
I am 50 years old and had a high PST reading. My PCP sent me to a Urologist. He took biopsies and thank God no cancer. But my prostrate is big. Ive been seeing a weaker stream when I urinate and worse than that my erections are not as strong. My wife is getting impatient with me. I seem to be unable to hold off ejacutations. At times I cum within 5 minutes it seems. The medication he gave me is called Finasteride. Im getting a better stream and wake up less often on this drug but my wife is unhappy and I dont want to lose her. She is only 44 and has a strong sex drive. If anyone knows of a better medication I could ask about please respond. Any other advice would be appreciated.
Jerome

Hawthorne, NJ

#100 May 23, 2011
Jerome wrote:
<quoted text>
I am 50 years old and had a high PST reading. My PCP sent me to a Urologist. He took biopsies and thank God no cancer. But my prostrate is big. Ive been seeing a weaker stream when I urinate and worse than that my erections are not as strong. My wife is getting impatient with me. I seem to be unable to hold off ejacutations. At times I cum within 5 minutes it seems. The medication he gave me is called Finasteride. Im getting a better stream and wake up less often on this drug but my wife is unhappy and I dont want to lose her. She is only 44 and has a strong sex drive. If anyone knows of a better medication I could ask about please respond. Any other advice would be appreciated.
I just wanted to add to my first comments. My erections are much better upon waking up mornings. Problem is my wife isnt a morning person and she isnt into being bothered with me. So it can be the stress of my job that kills my sex drive at night. But again, if anyone has some suggestions please let me know.

“guess who Lois?”

Since: Dec 06

A little hole in the wall.

#101 May 23, 2011
Jerome wrote:
<quoted text>
I just wanted to add to my first comments. My erections are much better upon waking up mornings. Problem is my wife isnt a morning person and she isnt into being bothered with me. So it can be the stress of my job that kills my sex drive at night. But again, if anyone has some suggestions please let me know.
have you tried cialis or viagra?

aAs to the "quick shot" ... can you pce yuorself and slow down before you come, move just enough to maintian an erection but let the feeling that you are about to come subside???? Then after a minute get moving again? A guy can do this almsot indefintilty and stay hard in her a long time this way. ALso, learn how to touch her clit and labia during intercourse to get her to orgasm faster.

If you still can't hold off then you have to develop a differnet technique .. which is to get her really turned on through extensive foreplay and oral sex .. get her very close to orgasm before you enter her ... then enter her and keep using fingers to stimulate her as you do it and even rub her clit after yuo've entered her ... she should come within 30 seconds of you entering her .. or you can slow down just a bit and stimulate her clit less and let it last a few minutes ... but this method helps ensure yuo can make her come through intercourse (if that is what she prefers)...
Jerome

Hawthorne, NJ

#102 May 23, 2011
franko wrote:
<quoted text>have you tried cialis or viagra?
aAs to the "quick shot" ... can you pce yuorself and slow down before you come, move just enough to maintian an erection but let the feeling that you are about to come subside???? Then after a minute get moving again? A guy can do this almsot indefintilty and stay hard in her a long time this way. ALso, learn how to touch her clit and labia during intercourse to get her to orgasm faster.
If you still can't hold off then you have to develop a differnet technique .. which is to get her really turned on through extensive foreplay and oral sex .. get her very close to orgasm before you enter her ... then enter her and keep using fingers to stimulate her as you do it and even rub her clit after yuo've entered her ... she should come within 30 seconds of you entering her .. or you can slow down just a bit and stimulate her clit less and let it last a few minutes ... but this method helps ensure yuo can make her come through intercourse (if that is what she prefers)...
Its hard to hold off once I get that feeling Im about to come. I havent tried Viagara but maybe Ill do that. I have to say I do like the suggestion about bringing her close to orgasm orally and with manipulating her clit while I am in her. Ive really gotten away from working at it as I got older. Time to get busy! My penis is just 5 and a quarter inches at full erection too. Ive worried about it because she once commented on my size or lack of it. I know she was talking to one of the girls who likes to brag about her husband to the other girls. Ive heard them from the next room.
My wife didnt give away my size but all the girls were oooing and awing as she told them how big his is and how he pleases her. I was so pissed. Sure enough within days as we were making love she said I wish you could get it in more. I was as far as I could go.
That dont help my mental attitude. But all that aside, Frank thanks. Ill go at it with oral and stay at it much longer. Thats going to help. I should have realized it myself and I like doing it anyway.

“guess who Lois?”

Since: Dec 06

A little hole in the wall.

#103 May 23, 2011
Jerome wrote:
<quoted text>
Its hard to hold off once I get that feeling Im about to come. I havent tried Viagara but maybe Ill do that. I have to say I do like the suggestion about bringing her close to orgasm orally and with manipulating her clit while I am in her. Ive really gotten away from working at it as I got older. Time to get busy! My penis is just 5 and a quarter inches at full erection too. Ive worried about it because she once commented on my size or lack of it. I know she was talking to one of the girls who likes to brag about her husband to the other girls. Ive heard them from the next room.
My wife didnt give away my size but all the girls were oooing and awing as she told them how big his is and how he pleases her. I was so pissed. Sure enough within days as we were making love she said I wish you could get it in more. I was as far as I could go.
That dont help my mental attitude. But all that aside, Frank thanks. Ill go at it with oral and stay at it much longer. Thats going to help. I should have realized it myself and I like doing it anyway.
I'm glad I could help. YOur wife does not sound very accomodating ... too bad. Good sex depends on her 50/50

After reading this forum I've learned that women respond as much or more to girth than legnth ... a girth of 4.5 is about average. 5 1/4 length should not be a problem for most women, especialy if your girth is above average.

YOu can try different angles to see if you can penetrate further, such as a scissors missionary, or get her to lay so her butt is at the edge of the bed, you lift her legs so her feet are at your shoulders and yuo stand and push as deep as you can, or misisonary and her butt on a thick pillow, again, her legs back so her thoughs don't block yuor hips (either you hold them to yuor shoulders, or she holds them with her arms so her knees almost touch her chest), that way you can push as deep as possible .. I find those positions allow at least 1/2 inch more depth ... but the other part is that you push hard enough that your pubic bones slap agiasnt each other .. this stimulates her slit with each thrust. The problem with such hard pounding is that it's hard for the guy to hold off his orgasm for as long ... I use a slower rythm but steady.

ALso, different angles can create more pressure at the vaginal opening or caase the penis's head to rub at sensitive spots ... for example if you lay on top of her faced to face but she has her thighs together .. she gets less penetration but the tighness and friction increase tremendously. If you enter her from behind while she lays flat on her stomache with legs together .. again a very tight entry but reduced depth but your penis rubs on her g-spot.
Jerome

Hawthorne, NJ

#104 May 23, 2011
Thats a lot of things to try for an older guy. Ill print out and pick what I can do best. So far ive found she likes it doogy style best. I stand by the bed and she backs it up into me. She is OK really I think she still enjoys me but if im not up to my best she seems frustrated. I do have 5.25 inches around so thats ok. I just have to stop being lazy and try my best. Picking weekends would help. Thanks for all the tips.

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