Prefer masturbation to sex with GF - ...

Prefer masturbation to sex with GF - why ???

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Mr X

Pittsburgh, PA

#1 Sep 4, 2008
I have a good looking girl friend - 8 out of 10. But I enjoy masturbation much more than sex with her. We get along very well otherwise. Am I alone ??? What could be the reason and what can I do to reverse this ??? She is my 2nd GF. Almost same result with previous GF.
ben

Santa Monica, CA

#2 Sep 5, 2008
Me too. You're not alone.
Allan

Toronto, Canada

#3 Sep 5, 2008
You watch or watched too much porn and sex is an anticlimax. Real life cannot compete with the imagination of sex conveyed by hypererotic porn. Do your think that might be an explanation?
Mr X

Pittsburgh, PA

#4 Sep 6, 2008
Allan wrote:
You watch or watched too much porn and sex is an anticlimax. Real life cannot compete with the imagination of sex conveyed by hypererotic porn. Do your think that might be an explanation?
Could be the reason. Real life sex TOTALLY LACKS the imagination/fantasy portion of masturbation. It is all one dimensional - the penis. The brain does not get the soothing numbing relief of a fantasy that masturbation provides.

Since: Jul 08

Location hidden

#5 Sep 6, 2008
ahh thats terrible, man. but im assuming youre not the only one. you know what YOU like. and maybe she isnt satisfying that? i actually was with a guy that couldnt even cum at all unless he was jerking it himself! he got so used to his hand cause he did it soo often, that nothing else could satisfy him.
Allan

Toronto, Canada

#6 Sep 7, 2008
Mr X wrote:
<quoted text>
Could be the reason. Real life sex TOTALLY LACKS the imagination/fantasy portion of masturbation. It is all one dimensional - the penis. The brain does not get the soothing numbing relief of a fantasy that masturbation provides.
When you are with a girl, you are merely using her as a masturbatory object. In your head, a porno movie is still playing, only you can't coordinate the real life physical action, which is more of a distraction and diversion to your concentration on the porn movie playing in your mind. So you end up being unsatisfied, frustrated and eager to get away so you can be alone and get back to concentrating on your movie. The poor girl is probably left unsatisfied and confused too. A lifetime of porn has its effects!
Allan

Toronto, Canada

#7 Sep 7, 2008
Rock_Out wrote:
ahh thats terrible, man. but im assuming youre not the only one. you know what YOU like. and maybe she isnt satisfying that? i actually was with a guy that couldnt even cum at all unless he was jerking it himself! he got so used to his hand cause he did it soo often, that nothing else could satisfy him.
True, the pressure and technique has been mastered over many years. However, along with solitary masturbation, there is an active fantasy life, often mixed in with powerful porn imagery that real life cannot measure up to! The girl is merely a blow up doll figure in a masturbatory fantasy. It takes deconditioning and an understanding and highly skilled partner to help many males overcome the damage they have done to themselves with porn over many years. When someone prefers porn to the real thing, one can begin to consider whether addiction to porn is a possibility.

“Men should be submissive”

Since: Nov 07

Location hidden

#8 Sep 7, 2008
Allan wrote:
<quoted text>
True, the pressure and technique has been mastered over many years. However, along with solitary masturbation, there is an active fantasy life, often mixed in with powerful porn imagery that real life cannot measure up to! The girl is merely a blow up doll figure in a masturbatory fantasy. It takes deconditioning and an understanding and highly skilled partner to help many males overcome the damage they have done to themselves with porn over many years. When someone prefers porn to the real thing, one can begin to consider whether addiction to porn is a possibility.
I don't disagree with you, Allan, but I think the masturbation is a cause of disinterest in itself - without porn. I had a time where I enjoyed a vibrator SO much that no sex with a man felt nearly as good. These men need to give up the masturbation for a period of time to let their bodies acclimate to different pleasurable sensations once again. Oh, I still have bizzy buzz buzz, but he is only taken out for special occasions!
Join Free
Allan

Toronto, Canada

#9 Sep 7, 2008
la la la lola wrote:
<quoted text>
I don't disagree with you, Allan, but I think the masturbation is a cause of disinterest in itself - without porn. I had a time where I enjoyed a vibrator SO much that no sex with a man felt nearly as good. These men need to give up the masturbation for a period of time to let their bodies acclimate to different pleasurable sensations once again. Oh, I still have bizzy buzz buzz, but he is only taken out for special occasions!
Completely agree! And yes, vibrators can be much better than a mere penis. Males, beware when women get robot lovers--I am sure the Japanese or Chinese are working on perfecting models to seduce women!

“Men should be submissive”

Since: Nov 07

Location hidden

#10 Sep 7, 2008
Allan wrote:
<quoted text>
Completely agree! And yes, vibrators can be much better than a mere penis. Males, beware when women get robot lovers--I am sure the Japanese or Chinese are working on perfecting models to seduce women!
Why I hear you already have them far up north in Canada!! Why else would women ever go there??
Franko

Port Coquitlam, Canada

#11 Sep 7, 2008
Mr X wrote:
I have a good looking girl friend - 8 out of 10. But I enjoy masturbation much more than sex with her. We get along very well otherwise. Am I alone ??? What could be the reason and what can I do to reverse this ??? She is my 2nd GF. Almost same result with previous GF.
I wonder if they are not much good at what they do? SOme women are not very good at giving handjobs or blowjobs, if they do it at all. And if their vagina is not very tight, then intercourse cannot cause the same sensation as masturbation where the man can feel exactly what he is doing to optimize the sensation.

I have had women that were very tight, and knew how to create special feelings with their vagina during intercourse. I have had women that gave great hadjobs and blowjobs ... and a good BJ beats masturbatoin any day!!!

Even more so, it feels so much better to have a partner do that than just handjobbing myself ...

Remember that with a partner there is so much more than just the physical sensation .. you are interating with someone, that's why they call it "making love".

It sounds like you need to work with your GF on having her improve her techinique. Don't tell her that you are not satisfied or that you enjoy masturbating more,.. that would hurt her feelings or discurage her form trying.

But do tell her that she should want to be the best lover she can be and that you would be happy to work with her on the technique.

Tell her htat YOU are alos wanting to be the best lover you can be for her ...

BTW ... anothe rocnsidreatoin .. what if HSE is not any mroe satisfied than you and she uses ehr vibrator a couple of hours later becasue it was not much good for her.

That means you BOTH have something to improve upon to make it the best it can be.

The best thing about all this?? YOu will have a lot of fun as you work on getting better for each other ... how cab you beat that?

“Captain Karl's Cod Boat”

Since: Aug 08

receiver of lies...

#12 Sep 7, 2008
I have to say that Allan, hit the nail on the head, if this is true. Everything you said, just discribed what its like to be married to a man that is Addicted to Porn.

Porn "Re-Programs" Peoples Minds, into not being content with a physical being.
It can also create over whelming and sometimes impossible expectations they presure as being the norm, expecially for a wife.

No man or woman would appreciate having to contend with a porn star, its hard enough to think of being compared to someones past lovers. Its a form of peer presure, when professionl porn stars are just that, Professionals.

The porn industry depends on this "Reprograming" so that You Have to depend on there porn for satisfaction.
They feed off people like a leeches as they Have to buy more and more to satisfy their need and addiction.

“I want a piece of that steak”

Since: Apr 07

Tazmania

#13 Sep 7, 2008
Mr X wrote:
I have a good looking girl friend - 8 out of 10. But I enjoy masturbation much more than sex with her. We get along very well otherwise. Am I alone ??? What could be the reason and what can I do to reverse this ??? She is my 2nd GF. Almost same result with previous GF.
I think this is unusual for a man, many women do this because many woman need much more four play and they all have a particular spot and sometimes not easy for a man to find. I can't understand your lack of sensation here since men are known to get off very easily. I think you should as yourself if you are attracted to your gf, this could be an issue down the road.
Mr X

Pittsburgh, PA

#14 Sep 7, 2008
Thanks for the thoughtful advises.

I dont think porn has ruined me. I actually enjoy masturbation most when I do it without watching any porn or mags - just closed eyes and a fantasy. And I dont think of porn characters either.

Retraining the body and mind is an option - but the mind is now unwilling to leave something good for something worse. Why would it want to leave something good just so that it can conform to what 'normal' people in society do.

I am going to start another discussion just to see what percentage of males are 'out of normal' like me - or am I the normal one.

“Captain Karl's Cod Boat”

Since: Aug 08

receiver of lies...

#15 Sep 7, 2008
Mr X wrote:
Thanks for the thoughtful advises.
I dont think porn has ruined me. I actually enjoy masturbation most when I do it without watching any porn or mags - just closed eyes and a fantasy. And I dont think of porn characters either.
Retraining the body and mind is an option - but the mind is now unwilling to leave something good for something worse. Why would it want to leave something good just so that it can conform to what 'normal' people in society do.
I am going to start another discussion just to see what percentage of males are 'out of normal' like me - or am I the normal one.
Hello again, I found this webiste, the last post is basically what I was trying to pu into words myself:http://www.ehealthforum .com/health/topic100016.html

So its not uncommon, would be a good Poll...

“The King of R&R”

Since: Dec 07

Location hidden

#17 Sep 7, 2008
Allan wrote:
<quoted text>
Completely agree! And yes, vibrators can be much better than a mere penis. Males, beware when women get robot lovers--I am sure the Japanese or Chinese are working on perfecting models to seduce women!
it's getting to be a wierd, wierd world, isn't it?

“I want a piece of that steak”

Since: Apr 07

Tazmania

#18 Sep 7, 2008
Mr X wrote:
Thanks for the thoughtful advises.
I dont think porn has ruined me. I actually enjoy masturbation most when I do it without watching any porn or mags - just closed eyes and a fantasy. And I dont think of porn characters either.
Retraining the body and mind is an option - but the mind is now unwilling to leave something good for something worse. Why would it want to leave something good just so that it can conform to what 'normal' people in society do.
I am going to start another discussion just to see what percentage of males are 'out of normal' like me - or am I the normal one.
I don't think you have to conform, I would only question what is love or what you define as such. We are all different and most men can screw a light bulb and get off, many women can take care of their business without a man. The bottom line is that you have to be sexually attracted to you gf and likewise or it's, well you know two lovers that prefer masterbation over having sex with eachother and I don't think that's good for either party.
Carol

Simpsonville, SC

#19 Sep 7, 2008
Mr X wrote:
I have a good looking girl friend - 8 out of 10. But I enjoy masturbation much more than sex with her. We get along very well otherwise. Am I alone ??? What could be the reason and what can I do to reverse this ??? She is my 2nd GF. Almost same result with previous GF.
Seems as though you are failing to realize the difference,in facts and fantacies..Not all women,are like unto the highly paid porn stars,who at any given cue,would do anything instucted to do..
Here in the real world,more women,do not act as erotic,as the proffessional porn queens..Some of us,do have a little respect,for ourselves,and do not wish to have multiple sex partners,and group sex..
Our erotic behavior,is done in privacy,and not for displaying us as women who do anything and everything,that is for the entertainment of others.
Your gf would be wise,to throw your ass,to the curb,to go rent yourself,a prostitute..and let her fulfill your fantacies..as you probably are more disgusting to her,than that of sexual arousal,or satisfaction.
Mr X

Pittsburgh, PA

#21 Sep 7, 2008
kickback wrote:
<quoted text>
I don't think you have to conform, I would only question what is love or what you define as such. We are all different and most men can screw a light bulb and get off, many women can take care of their business without a man. The bottom line is that you have to be sexually attracted to you gf and likewise or it's, well you know two lovers that prefer masterbation over having sex with eachother and I don't think that's good for either party.
I am not comparing the fruits of a loving relationship or anything of that nature - I am just comparing the FEELINGS IN THE PENIS under two different conditions.

The reason it interested me so much was to see if this is a normal thing in society and people just accept it in a relationship and carry on just to conform to normal societal behavior and expectation ( and thus escape uncomfortable questions ).

Depending on how much WEIGHTAGE each individual gives to sexual matters as against non-sexual matters in a relationship, this thing could affect that individual's happiness in life.
Mr X

Pittsburgh, PA

#22 Sep 7, 2008
BrightEyedBeauty wrote:
<quoted text>
Hello again, I found this webiste, the last post is basically what I was trying to pu into words myself:http://www.ehealthforum .com/health/topic100016.html
So its not uncommon, would be a good Poll...
Thank you - I just read the website. Now I know, I am not the only one. There are atleast 2 more like me - and probably many more who masturbate in the bathroom or whose wives have not complained in a website like these 2 wives.

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