Would having a mfm with my wife open ...

Would having a mfm with my wife open up pandoras box?

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Since: Jul 08

Location hidden

#1 Jul 24, 2008
Do you think after i do a mfm with my wife she will just start doing everybody? or can you do a mfm just one time and go on with life as usuall?
Girl

Seattle, WA

#2 Jul 24, 2008
If the guy has a bigger dick than you, you're in trouble! ;)

Since: Jul 08

Michigan

#3 Jul 24, 2008
Sat rules and talk it over with your wife first. See where she would like to take it and decide from there. If the two of you agree and trust each other enough then go for it, if you have doubt and one of you are not ready then wait and in the future talk it over again, if it comes up. Believe it or not most women are not hoes and do perferr a sable, open relationship with one man and probably want become a hoe over night.
dick100

Ashland, OR

#4 Jul 25, 2008
Setting the rules for what you and your wife want is essential for bring in another person into your lives. My wife and I have one basic rule. No intercourse. Everything else is OK. I have watched her get fondled and fingered to many O's. It is a hot time for the 3 of us.
Scottrd3

Cornelius, NC

#5 Jul 25, 2008
Yes, rule setting and trust are key. You want to be absolutely certain that it won't negatively impact your marriage. Then when it does you can be justifiably miserable, alone and wondering what happened to your life. But life is all about taking risks. It might work out great. Check out the statistic on divorce and divorce amoung couples that do this and do the math. Its your life. What is it worth to you? You have the free will to chose your own destiny.
Kaze

Vancouver, Canada

#7 Sep 17, 2008
Well from what i have gathered it can either do good for your relationship or it can do bad for it..

To tell the truth, i'm thinking of doing the same thing for my partner, to me, or at least what i've come to think, is that even the deep dark secrets about our partners is a part of who they are, we may not like to hear some of those things sometimes, but if we can except it and openly share our inner secrets with one another no matter how dark it may be, then the relationship takes that next step in growth..
To be able to share a relationship at these kinds of levels is a very depthful thing..

Honestly though, after realising that i really care for my partner, i've come to a realization that i like to see/make her happy, and well having two to play with, can make anyone happy..
When you've reach a level in a relationship where you want to do all you can to make another happy, you've reach a point where you except what they may crave deep down, and in some cases be attracted to the idea yourself..
For me before a MFM was never something i would ever except, but as i have found the person i deeply care for, the idea of her being pleased by not just me, but another at the same time drives me wild, in a good way..
Even when i'm taking care of bussiness in a solo manner, at times i've found that fantasizing about a MFM does push me over that busrting edge..

The problem with all this is, i've gotten my partner to openly admit that she would like it, although at times she say's shes content with just me, but as time passes, i've come to see that yeah she'd be up for it, but when it turns around, she isn't so up for having a FMF, which kind of ruins some of the fun perosnally..

After some talk, she admited to not being a part of a FMF, and probably would prefer if i was to play MF without her..
But that is still up for chat..

Anyways like i said it can either make or break your relationship.. I've seen many happy couples that play that way, and apparently some unhappy..
They key really is to talk it over with her, set rules, of what you and her both feel really comfortable with, have alot of trust, as without it that can be a trainwreck..
If you are going through with it, DON'T use it against her later..

I've heard that some people become drifted, normally because during the MFM session their partner endded up doing things she never have done with you and her alone..
Believe me, seeing these things its best to not flip out, but instead let yourself be turned on by it, and realise that you are taking her to a deep level inside of her that she may not have seen before..

Before anything though, i would seriously talk about it, all situations, fantasies, thoughts, remember its a conversation be easy on each others feelings, but at the same time its just talk, so the sky is the limit for chatting..
Be on the same level..

Me and my partner talk a lot, and there is a high chance i may just give her that MFM, but in my view i still feel a lot more talk is going to help smooth everything out better..

I'm not sure if i can post my email up here as i was surfing when i came across this piece, but if you do go through with it, let me know how it turned out, and if anyone else has any thought on the subject i would love to chat about it..

GodofLust@live.com

Since: Jul 08

Location hidden

#8 Sep 18, 2008
well we have talked for months,, I think were good with it,, i mean she would do him she feels comfortable with him and it wont make me mad watching him do her, were only gonna do this 1 time and then go on with life, were not going to be inviting guys in bed with us again, but she is 48 i am 49 so maybe one time before we get old

“Pleasure is good for you”

Since: Sep 08

Littleton, CO

#9 Sep 18, 2008
Sounds like you have talked about it and are ready to try, but assuming it is going to be a one time thing is dangerous. You need to be mentally prepared for it being more than that. It is a complex experience - there are upsides and downsides. As long as you agree, you will be fine, but one partner may want more and the other partner may not.

I highly recommend reading (at least parts of) the book: The Ethical Slut (easy to find on Amazon) before you dive in. It has great discussions about the complex feelings that this kind of experience brings out and discusses them from both person's perspectives. A great way to make sure you really have talked enough before you go for it.

Having said all that - once you master the ability to have a broader set of sexual choices, life is very good! Good luck.
Join Free

“safe, sane, consensual...”

Since: Jul 08

perpetual arousal

#10 Sep 18, 2008
towlie155 wrote:
Sounds like you have talked about it and are ready to try, but assuming it is going to be a one time thing is dangerous. You need to be mentally prepared for it being more than that. It is a complex experience - there are upsides and downsides. As long as you agree, you will be fine, but one partner may want more and the other partner may not.
I highly recommend reading (at least parts of) the book: The Ethical Slut (easy to find on Amazon) before you dive in. It has great discussions about the complex feelings that this kind of experience brings out and discusses them from both person's perspectives. A great way to make sure you really have talked enough before you go for it.
Having said all that - once you master the ability to have a broader set of sexual choices, life is very good! Good luck.
That was a great book!

Since: Jul 08

Location hidden

#11 Sep 18, 2008
I will read it, to me watching my wife get pleasured over a weekend would be enough, i all ready know we would have to do it more then once as even my wife said she would probably cum as soon as he enterd her, so the 1st time would be quick , we would probably do her 2-3 times over a weekend so we can explore a 3 some and both do her good
Franko

Port Coquitlam, Canada

#12 Sep 18, 2008
Scottrd3 wrote:
Yes, rule setting and trust are key. You want to be absolutely certain that it won't negatively impact your marriage. Then when it does you can be justifiably miserable, alone and wondering what happened to your life. But life is all about taking risks. It might work out great. Check out the statistic on divorce and divorce amoung couples that do this and do the math. Its your life. What is it worth to you? You have the free will to chose your own destiny.
how the hell can you get statistics on mfm threesomes in relatoin to divorce rates?

You say "check them out" as if yuo already know ... why not just state the rates then right here and now? That would be much more useful.

SO, what are the rates?
Franko

Port Coquitlam, Canada

#13 Sep 18, 2008
CARAVEN12 wrote:
Do you think after i do a mfm with my wife she will just start doing everybody? or can you do a mfm just one time and go on with life as usuall?
to answer the question of the thread's titel, YES, it will almsot certainly open up a pandora's box.

For this to work both of you, as a couple , have to have absolute confidnece that whatever happens with the other guy, it will not change your relationship. She will have to be absolutley confident that no matter how good a lover the other guy is, she would never want anyone besides you as a long-term partner. ANd you need to have absolute belief in the same thing .... so that you never end up feeling doubt, jealousy or resentment that she was with another man while she was your partner/spouse.

Furthermore, I think for that to happen, I think she needs to have enough previous experince with other guys already that this verifies that there is no guy she will ever love more than you ...

I think if she has limited experience with other men, she will have a seed of doubt saying in the back of her head "Is the reason why I am willing to go with another man because I have yet to discover if I am with the best man for me?"

“And tell me he's not comfy...”

Since: Feb 08

Westminster, MD

#14 Sep 18, 2008
well it may i heard a story on here of a guy who let his wife do a black guy and she did things on the black guy she wouldn't do to him, even though hes asked her too

the wife just responded that it was a one time thing

if that was the case for me i would divorce that women so just know its a possibility
Franko

Port Coquitlam, Canada

#15 Sep 18, 2008
Dude Look wrote:
well it may i heard a story on here of a guy who let his wife do a black guy and she did things on the black guy she wouldn't do to him, even though hes asked her too
the wife just responded that it was a one time thing
if that was the case for me i would divorce that women so just know its a possibility
I would agree with yuo on that ... if a woman won't do something with you and then does it with someone else the I would think "WTF??? SHe says she loves me, yet she won't do that for me but she will for a stranger? MAkes no sense .. none!! That's not love!"
Yada

Coeburn, VA

#16 Sep 18, 2008
CARAVEN12 wrote:
Do you think after i do a mfm with my wife she will just start doing everybody? or can you do a mfm just one time and go on with life as usuall?
To haul in somebody else into your marriage would not be smart. You could give your honey the same effect with a dil-do as with some extra dude. I would do that rather than risk my marriage.
Franko

Port Coquitlam, Canada

#17 Sep 18, 2008
Yada wrote:
<quoted text>
To haul in somebody else into your marriage would not be smart. You could give your honey the same effect with a dil-do as with some extra dude. I would do that rather than risk my marriage.
OMG!!!

Look who it is!!!

Long time no see!!!
RealityDealer

Columbus, OH

#18 Sep 18, 2008
I think it would be better if the couple had an open relationship BEFORE marriage, when trying MFM or swapping, this way there are less "transitional" issues.

The only real rule that needs to be set is being open and honest about sex and sexual activity. This is the DIFFERENCE between cheaters and "fake" monogamous people versus those having an open relationship or swingers.

Swingers, swappers, polyamorous people, etc... tell each other what they want to do sexually, are doing, and are open with each other.

Your relationship is "safe" to the extent you are BOTH honest, open, and comfortable about sex and sexuality.

For example if you are both lying scheming cheaters that hide sexual activity from each other, than that actually can work. Since you both hide what your do and are of the same nature, than there might not be a problem.

If you are both open and honest, than there is not a problem too.

However, if 1 person is doing the opposite of what the other expects, wants or likes than this is when you can have a problem.

If both of you are happy with what you are doing than it should NOT be problem.
Yada

Coeburn, VA

#19 Sep 19, 2008
Franko wrote:
<quoted text>OMG!!!
Look who it is!!!
Long time no see!!!
Well, dagone! Long time no see, as well.

Since: Jul 08

Location hidden

#20 Sep 19, 2008
Franko wrote:
<quoted text>to answer the question of the thread's titel, YES, it will almsot certainly open up a pandora's box.
For this to work both of you, as a couple , have to have absolute confidnece that whatever happens with the other guy, it will not change your relationship. She will have to be absolutley confident that no matter how good a lover the other guy is, she would never want anyone besides you as a long-term partner. ANd you need to have absolute belief in the same thing .... so that you never end up feeling doubt, jealousy or resentment that she was with another man while she was your partner/spouse.
Furthermore, I think for that to happen, I think she needs to have enough previous experince with other guys already that this verifies that there is no guy she will ever love more than you ...
I think if she has limited experience with other men, she will have a seed of doubt saying in the back of her head "Is the reason why I am willing to go with another man because I have yet to discover if I am with the best man for me?"
WELL before we were married she was with like 9 guys,, and she did a 3 some with a female freind of hers and her freind husband, sooo i think im good, plus our friend lives 1200 miles away we seee him about every 4 years and she would never become romantically involved with him
moose

Saint Paul, MN

#21 Sep 10, 2009
Wife & I tried mfm once. She had fun but then several days later she did a 180. It has been 5 years and I still haven't heard the end of it. She hates me for talking her into it. She also did things for him that she won't do with me. Make sure you set the rules and she is ok for a while first. Don't have it be an impulse.We have been married 24 years. It was fun but wasn't worth it.

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