Why do some guys last longer than others?

Posted in the Human Sexuality Forum

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Van Nuys, CA

#1 Jul 29, 2009
Okay, this is a serious question. I'd really like to understand the answer and need to hear guys' experiences and explanations.

I don't understand why some guys reach orgasm so much faster than they want to (or seem to want to), and why they can't last as long as other guys?

My current boyfriend is pretty quick -- about 10 minutes unless we keep taking breaks for him to cool off. I've only been with two other guys. Both lasted a lot longer every time. One of them could go on forever almost. I had to beg him to stop so we could get some sleep and I was getting sore,(sorry to be gross).

My current guy says he can't last long because I'm too pretty, hot, active, and so on. But I know the other two guys also found me desirable, and I was just as passionate with them.

So, why are guys different like this? I don't believe that his being too quick is really a sign that he wants me more. He knows I'd like him to last longer. Do guys differ in sensitivity? Or are some more selfish?

Ocean Springs, MS

#2 Jul 29, 2009
10 minutes can be a long time in hard sex. Sometimes I last longer than I want to and sometimes I bust to soon. It seems to me if you masturbate more often you dont last as long because real sex feels so much better. if you want him to last longer you can give him a few drinks.

Clearwater, FL

#3 Jul 29, 2009
having a buzz makes it easier ;-)

Van Nuys, CA

#5 Jul 30, 2009
Melissa, more experienced guys know how to delay orgasm and satisfy a woman. They know how to take a break and go down on her for a while, or slow down when they feel the urge coming.

Your new boyfriend hasn't learned yet. If he really wants to please you, he can do it, but he might just be selfish as you suggest. Trying tricks to make him last longer (him drinking, wearing a condom or two, you not moving at all) might be more trouble than he is worth.

Believe me, there are plenty of guys out there who can get it up and keep it up all night. They are not all the greatest boyfriend material though, LOL.

Van Nuys, CA

#6 Jul 30, 2009
If the dude can't last long, you can teach him to learn control by letting him stroke himself without coming for an hour, then two hours. He's gotta learn to feel that sensation which is the point of no return.

If he can last an hour, give him a prize (a girl's way of awarding a fellow).

Then go for two hours.

Van Nuys, CA

#8 Aug 2, 2009
How long a guy can resist orgasm is a personality characteristic of guys. It's really difficult for them to change. It seems to be part of their nervous temperament; some are just quick-triggered.

A gal can try to help out by not moving so much, or giving him some drinks, or hoping that the 2nd or 3rd time that night will take him longer.

But it's much easier to just find a stud who knows how to love a woman, and isn't motivated just for his own quick pleasure.

“Now with 99.9% Less Sugar”

Since: May 09

Las Cruces, NM

#9 Aug 2, 2009
10 minutes of actual "go" time is pretty dang near perfect to me, as long as there was plenty of build up prior to it, either through foreplay or just having been turned for a while and therefore ready for the fun to begin!

2 minutes is actually even okay to me when I am plenty heated up. Basically as long as I get to orgasm FIRST... he can blow his top directly after me (and usually does lol.

It's nice when we got longer, we can and we do a lot of times...

If we haven't done it in a while -- and the mood is really heated up, our sex is going to be quicker - we are both going to come faster.

If we have been teasing each other throughout the day, its generally going to be quicker as well.

He lasts longer when we get to the sex quickly without much fooling around before hand...

He lasts longer when we have recently already had activity...

I don't get more hotter or less hotter looking sounding or feeling for the differences in how long he lasts, its all situational for us.

If you are not having enough time to orgasm and he can't manage to last longer maybe he needs to get you to the breaking point with his hands and mouth BEFORE going in... so that you will be ready to go as quick as he is.

Its a team effort!

Since: Jul 09

Mebane, NC

#11 Aug 2, 2009
Helene wrote:
How long a guy can resist orgasm is a personality characteristic of guys. It's really difficult for them to change. It seems to be part of their nervous temperament; some are just quick-triggered.
A gal can try to help out by not moving so much, or giving him some drinks, or hoping that the 2nd or 3rd time that night will take him longer.
But it's much easier to just find a stud who knows how to love a woman, and isn't motivated just for his own quick pleasure.
Helen you are correct. When I am really into a woman I can last forever. And It is tough to explain when a woman asked how I last so long.
Join Free


#13 Jan 5, 2011
Every man is born with premature ejaculation, so having it is perfectly normal – to start with. Controlling ejaculation is something you have to learn just as you had to learn to control your bladder as a child. We get taught to control our bladders but no one teaches us how to control ejaculation.

Do not waste time or money on sprays, vitamins, herbs, dietary supplements or drugs. This is a learning problem and these things will not help you learn to control ejaculation any more than they can help you to learn to speak another language.

There are a lot of high-priced programs advertised online but all you need is an inexpensive little book written by a doctor and sex therapist that has been used successfully for more than 32 years.

It is called "Lasting Longer: The Treatment Program for Premature Ejaculation" by Dr. Sy Silverberg M.D. For more information just google the doctor’s name: Dr. Sy Silverberg M.D.

Casual Observer

Deer Park, NY

#14 Jan 5, 2011
Why do some guys last longer than others?

It's simple:
- Experience
- Kegels
- Baseball scores


#15 Jan 5, 2011
I nearly always last ages so I guess it varys, prob the same as it varys from woman to woman.
random dude

Cresskill, NJ

#20 Oct 16, 2012
Lasting long isn't hard when I lost my v we were going for bout 10 15 min I didn't juice lol but she did then every time after I always lasted long except once when someone was at the door n I finished it off but besides that idk its easy...but also when I use to do exercises for the D n you know massage it lol I would always be able to holdit n like I felt it coming so I let go of it sit very very still cuz idk if I move it can mess up my focus lol but yea after that it goes away n I guess that's what helps me ....but my problem with me is its hard to juice when my gf goes down says her mouth gets tired but I wanna bust in her mouth so bad lmao

Plymouth, MA

#21 Oct 16, 2012
Wish I knew, no matter what I try I can't go more then 5 minutes, but my wife's ex-boyfriend and current lover goes 2 hours easily
Love women

Brooklyn, NY

#22 Oct 16, 2012
I've lasted anywhere from 5 min to 4 hours. I'd say its more on position and the speed you go

London, UK

#25 Oct 17, 2012
If anyone in uk wants to text/chat 07539 604 343

Satellite Provider

#29 Dec 20, 2012
To bad i love having sex but i dnt alwayz enjoy it cus i dnt last long let say 1 min am don mehn each tim am don i will neva go bk in de agian d warst of all romantic kiss with ma gf i hav trown it makes me to be afraid of ladies when it comes to sex so many gf but can perform as a man ........lol not funny it serious

Seattle, WA

#30 Mar 29, 2013
Comes down to the mind when to focused disaster... Sum time I gotta relax take it slow and get ur stride... Just like anything good in life its gonna take time but for sure the wait is worth it

Since: Mar 13

Milford, MA

#31 Mar 29, 2013
Experience has absolutely NOTHING to do with it. I don't care what rumour you all are hearing. Yes there is eclxercises a guy can do, but when you gave something shooting out of you at 500 ft per second, its not easy to hold it back.

Its about sensitivity ladies. Where the guy is sensitive. Ever walk around without panties and just wearing pants? Or no bra and a silk shirt? Its like that for guys all the time. Here are some tricks to help.

1.) Be encouraging of him jerking off. Believe it or not, it helps to desensitize us, and if we have already cum, it will take us longer the next round.

2.) Encourage extensive foreplay - MEN LEARN TO EAT PUSSY!! Guys, you all need to stop thinking you know what the fuck you are doing. Every girl is different. Some girls like it on the left side of the clit, some directly on it, ask your girl how she likes, and what she likes and your oral and finger skills will leave her so breathless that she will be praying you don't last long.

Girls, be encouraging of these things, don't treat a guy like he's dumb, be gentle and coaxing. "A little to the left, down, yyeess!!!" Will work. And given a positive response, we will remember that spot.

Girls - Get to love oral, there is a reason foreplay is important, again, get him off before he fucks you, wait a few, and then have at it when the head of the dick is numb.

Since: Mar 13

Milford, MA

#32 Mar 29, 2013
The longest I have gone was five hours of strait sex. And guys another tip for you, when you feel it coming, STOP its hard, it takes practice, but stop, slow down, do not speed up. Practice thos manuever while jerking off, trust me...it helps.

Los Angeles, CA

#34 Jul 1, 2013
Me and my "boo" gon forever!! But sometimes I think to myself why Does he Take forever to bust? Am i unattractive to him ? I mean. We can go on for about 2 /3 rounds in an 1hr.. idk Ia that bad? Its just my scond im not to experienced...

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