Seducing the neighbor

Since: Jan 11

Lindenhurst, NY

#1 Apr 20, 2011
I live in the upper apartment of a house, and my neighbor lives downstairs. We used to chit-chat all the time, but not so much these past few months (due to me, really). Part of me just wants to slip it in and have her moaning into a pillow, now, though. There's a 25+ gap in years, her being my elder. Any ideas?
Swing Fling

Lindenhurst, NY

#2 Apr 20, 2011
Anyone?
Wild Willie

Kinghorn, UK

#3 Apr 20, 2011
Swing Fling wrote:
I live in the upper apartment of a house, and my neighbor lives downstairs. We used to chit-chat all the time, but not so much these past few months (due to me, really). Part of me just wants to slip it in and have her moaning into a pillow, now, though. There's a 25+ gap in years, her being my elder. Any ideas?
...well,if you haven't followed up the social chit-chat by 'expressing your interest', then you may very well have missed your chance!(She probably thinks you don't fancy her, so isn't wasting any more time on you -'fish in the sea'etc.!)I guess the only thing you can do now is to arrange an 'accidental' meeting on the stairs etc and say something like "Hey, long time,no see - where have you been hiding yourself?" etc.- then judge the reaction and take it from there. If there's a 25yr gap you're going to have to display a bit of 'romantic charm' rather than a straight approach - so brush up on some of the topics you chatted about and use that to 'break the ice'. Noone here can 'write the plot' for you - except the trolls who will suggest something like bending her over the stair-rail - which will probably just get you a quick visit from the NYPD! Good luck anyway -you may need it!

Since: Jan 11

Lindenhurst, NY

#4 Apr 20, 2011
XD

Thanks, Willie

And NYPD knock-knock-knockin' wouldn't be a good thing
ToddR

Cleveland, OH

#5 Apr 20, 2011
Seek out common interests -

What kind of car does she drive?

Doe she hit the gym?

Where does she shop for groceries?

What kind of music does she listen to?
(you may already know this as she is down below you)

Go back through your memories of your chit-chats and pick out areas / subjects that could possibly link you with her. She may have seen a movie she likes, went to a open air concert, has kids, etc.

And -

If you are handy you might be able to help fix something in her apartment since landlords / supers tend to be slow to react to tenants' requests. A quick successful repair will not only gain her gratitude but also an invite into her apartment.

Overall -

Become very VERY observant in all of the sights and sounds surrounding this woman. Yep. Just a half-step below stalking but I am not saying to get out the binoculars or run her license plate number. Nope. There are opportunities there to re-ignite the casual relationship that you had -

The key here is to slowly develop her trust in you. From there, you can then slowly step outside of her safety zone --- which is to say --- going for a walk, go out for coffee or drinks, etc.

The 25 year gap may be intimidating to both you and her but she may forego that as you are about to boost her ego with your undivided attention.
Jason

Hazel Green, AL

#6 Apr 20, 2011
YOu mention a 25 year age gap but you don't say how old you or she is. Do you know if she is, or has in the past, been dating someone? She may have children that are older than you, and sometimes that fact could turn her off on getting involved with a younger man. Otherwise, ToddR above has some good ideas to pursue.
Karl

Kinghorn, UK

#7 Apr 20, 2011
ToddR wrote:
Seek out common interests -
What kind of car does she drive?
Doe she hit the gym?
Where does she shop for groceries?
What kind of music does she listen to?
(you may already know this as she is down below you)
Go back through your memories of your chit-chats and pick out areas / subjects that could possibly link you with her. She may have seen a movie she likes, went to a open air concert, has kids, etc.
And -
If you are handy you might be able to help fix something in her apartment since landlords / supers tend to be slow to react to tenants' requests. A quick successful repair will not only gain her gratitude but also an invite into her apartment.
Overall -
Become very VERY observant in all of the sights and sounds surrounding this woman. Yep. Just a half-step below stalking but I am not saying to get out the binoculars or run her license plate number. Nope. There are opportunities there to re-ignite the casual relationship that you had -
The key here is to slowly develop her trust in you. From there, you can then slowly step outside of her safety zone --- which is to say --- going for a walk, go out for coffee or drinks, etc.
The 25 year gap may be intimidating to both you and her but she may forego that as you are about to boost her ego with your undivided attention.
I fully agree with all the points you've made, Todd.(I particularly like the 'DIY' one - have used that ploy a few times myself in the past (also car 'emergencies'/maintenance etc.)I also feel he may be making a bit too much about the 'age gap' as I don't think this counts very much at all these days - as long as it stays within the legal limits, obviously - which don't apply in this case I'm sure.

Since: Jan 11

Lindenhurst, NY

#8 Apr 20, 2011
Good advice, Tod. It would seem I forgot to mention that I am 20 and she is 50. Also, she hasn't been dating anyone since the beginning of fall (as far as I know) and she isn't much into LTR's since her son passed away several or so years ago.
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Karl

Kinghorn, UK

#9 Apr 20, 2011
Swing Fling wrote:
Good advice, Tod. It would seem I forgot to mention that I am 20 and she is 50. Also, she hasn't been dating anyone since the beginning of fall (as far as I know) and she isn't much into LTR's since her son passed away several or so years ago.
If your research/assumptions are correct then she's certainly not in the category of 'Middle-aged lady seeking toy-boy/stud' and following her son's death,she's probably just settled into a quiet,reflective way of life,interrupted briefly by the young fellow in the upper apartment; in other words you've probably gone right out of her mind! It therefore appears as though it's going to be a rather 'drawn-out' process of seduction - rather than the contemporary 'in your face'style.(Mind you, having said that she will have had her early formative years in the 'Swinging Sixties'and kids of that age are very perceptive, so you never know!)However,you need to re-establish your aquaintance with her in a friendly, supportive way and encourage some friendly, neighbourly communication again(a sense of humour would be a non-intrusive/threatening method to make her feel more relaxed in your company - which is the main objective!)Hope this helps!
Jason

Hazel Green, AL

#10 Apr 20, 2011
Another thing you could try - buy 2 tickets to some concert or theater production - then a day or so before ask her to go with you, tell her that your date cancelled, you don't want to waste the ticket, don't want to go alone, etc.

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