How to Tell if You're Bi-Curious

How to Tell if You're Bi-Curious

There are 305 comments on the MomLogic story from Jul 29, 2009, titled How to Tell if You're Bi-Curious. In it, MomLogic reports that:

Single? Having trouble meeting a guy who understands your commitment to your kids? Ever thought of dating another mom? Dr.

Join the discussion below, or Read more at MomLogic.

upkink

Munising, MI

#149 Aug 24, 2009
lndychick wrote:
<quoted text>
I'm just expressing concern for your health and your Karma. Helping a man lie to his wife about such a fundemental issue has consequences. Not Hell and Damnation but certainly it cheapens and coarsens the spirit and the heart.
I do engage in risky behavior and will also concede that the older man I mentioned earlier probably wouldn't have ever strayed had I not made the move. The others were either already doing what they were doing or were actively looking for someone to play with.
This may sound selfish, but I restrict myself to married men who have no intention of leaving their wife for a few reasons. One, is that they are going to be far less likely to talk as they don't want to take the chance of causing problems with their spouse. They are also picky about who they meet for sex as they don't want their sex partner blabbing all over town either. These guys are not the type to hang around road side rest areas waiting to blow or be blown by any Tom, Dick or Jerry that stops by.
I have corresponded with others but rejected them because they lived too far away, they had sex with quite a few (both men and women), they bad mouthed their current GF or wife or I just got an overall bad vibe from them.

Since: Dec 08

Toronto, ON, Canada

#150 Aug 25, 2009
upkink wrote:
<quoted text>
I do engage in risky behavior and will also concede that the older man I mentioned earlier probably wouldn't have ever strayed had I not made the move. The others were either already doing what they were doing or were actively looking for someone to play with.
This may sound selfish, but I restrict myself to married men who have no intention of leaving their wife for a few reasons. One, is that they are going to be far less likely to talk as they don't want to take the chance of causing problems with their spouse. They are also picky about who they meet for sex as they don't want their sex partner blabbing all over town either. These guys are not the type to hang around road side rest areas waiting to blow or be blown by any Tom, Dick or Jerry that stops by.
I have corresponded with others but rejected them because they lived too far away, they had sex with quite a few (both men and women), they bad mouthed their current GF or wife or I just got an overall bad vibe from them.
Having known a number of rural gay men, I think I understand where you are coming from. The question is whether the rural lifestyle in your area is worth the hassle. I assume, since you've been there so long, it is. It would be a personal decision, since not everyone wants a relationship and for some people, the area where they live is more important than being part of the gay community. I assume you did not stay there for the wrong reason - i. e., fear of change or fear of not finding employment elsewhere.

Since as pointed out, your behaviour is a bit selfish, perhaps you should do a three way comparison of the moral issue you feel in the current situation versus living celibately versus moving elsewhere.

Also, remember that these men may be having sex with someone else who does drive three hours to the bar and has sex with people there. So you can still pick up HIV, as can their wives. Furthermore, there is some risk of sexual transmission of Hep C, which is now sometimes considered worse as a chronic disease than HIV. And people who have the former did not always get it through sex - it's more random in the population.

Since you yourself admitted some misgivings, perhaps its time for a little introspection.
confused

Morehead, KY

#151 Aug 27, 2009
im very confused about my sexuality. im not sure if its normal to somewhat be attracted to the same sex. im positive that im bi curious. i just want to know if im bi sexual or if ill turn out bisexual. i know its all up to me to make that decsion but my mind is going all directions trying to find out. if you can help me please do.
equalityboy81

United States

#152 Aug 27, 2009
JohnInToronto wrote:
<quoted text>
Having known a number of rural gay men, I think I understand where you are coming from. The question is whether the rural lifestyle in your area is worth the hassle. I assume, since you've been there so long, it is. It would be a personal decision, since not everyone wants a relationship and for some people, the area where they live is more important than being part of the gay community. I assume you did not stay there for the wrong reason - i. e., fear of change or fear of not finding employment elsewhere.
Since as pointed out, your behaviour is a bit selfish, perhaps you should do a three way comparison of the moral issue you feel in the current situation versus living celibately versus moving elsewhere.
Also, remember that these men may be having sex with someone else who does drive three hours to the bar and has sex with people there. So you can still pick up HIV, as can their wives. Furthermore, there is some risk of sexual transmission of Hep C, which is now sometimes considered worse as a chronic disease than HIV. And people who have the former did not always get it through sex - it's more random in the population.
Since you yourself admitted some misgivings, perhaps its time for a little introspection.
Some of the rural guys are the best in bed and they are the most down to earth and real acting people.

I need to mention on this thread too what I've read:

The American Medical Association, the American Psychiatric Association, the American Psychological Association, the American Counseling Association, the National Association of Social Workers, the World Health Organization, and the American Academy of Pediatrics all say homosexuality is normal and not a disease or mental illness.
equalityboy81

United States

#153 Aug 27, 2009
confused wrote:
im very confused about my sexuality. im not sure if its normal to somewhat be attracted to the same sex. im positive that im bi curious. i just want to know if im bi sexual or if ill turn out bisexual. i know its all up to me to make that decsion but my mind is going all directions trying to find out. if you can help me please do.
Many bisexuals prefer one gender over the other. Do what feels good and feels right? Don't feel the need to be under a certain label or category. If it feels good do it. Don't worry about stigmas and stereotypes. You may be bisexual but prefer women more than men or prefer women more romantically and men more sexually. You may come to find you like men more. No matter what the outcome there is nothing wrong with you. Enjoy and explore your sexuality.

http://www.cat-and-dragon.com/stef/Poly/Labri...

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kinsey_scale

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Klein_Sexual_Ori...

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bi-curious

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bisexual

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Homosexual_orien...

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Heterosexuality

“Marriage=Love+Co mmitment.....”

Since: Oct 07

Location hidden

#154 Aug 28, 2009
confused wrote:
im very confused about my sexuality. im not sure if its normal to somewhat be attracted to the same sex. im positive that im bi curious. i just want to know if im bi sexual or if ill turn out bisexual. i know its all up to me to make that decsion but my mind is going all directions trying to find out. if you can help me please do.
If you don't know the answer, do you really expect to get a definitive answer from a bunch of strangers on a message board who comment after reading one paragraph you have written about it?
If you are attracted to the same sex, you are at least bisexual. You would still consider yourself bi-curious I suppose since you haven't acted on it, but it is up to you how you want to define yourself, not anyone else. And it is totally up to you what you choose to do with your sexual attractions.

“Your Gods' Rules not mine.”

Since: Apr 07

Indianapolis

#155 Aug 28, 2009
confused wrote:
im very confused about my sexuality. im not sure if its normal to somewhat be attracted to the same sex. im positive that im bi curious. i just want to know if im bi sexual or if ill turn out bisexual. i know its all up to me to make that decsion but my mind is going all directions trying to find out. if you can help me please do.
The only things you have to remember are:

Safety:(safe sex, everytime, no exceptions)

Honesty:(at least let them know you are not ready for a committed relationship if you aren't ready to share that you are bi)

Reality: Being Bi is not looked favorably in either the Gay or Straight communities (Some people may say 'that's cool, whatev' but they'll be looking sideways at you from now on) Be selective at first who you share your story with.

“Son of Abraham”

Since: Aug 07

Natural Deviant

#156 Aug 28, 2009
confused wrote:
im very confused about my sexuality. im not sure if its normal to somewhat be attracted to the same sex. im positive that im bi curious. i just want to know if im bi sexual or if ill turn out bisexual. i know its all up to me to make that decsion but my mind is going all directions trying to find out. if you can help me please do.
A recent Topix Sexuality poll had only 20% of men claiming to be 100% straight while another one had only 15% of men saying they'd never get oral from another guy so these "feelings" you have are not only normal but very common. Hopefully someday men will stop acting like having same-sex urges is so uncommon. I live in a pretty narrow-minded town where when I go out I see girls kissing other girls all the time and it just cracks me up that Kinsey proved men are more likely to be bisexual...
Join Free

“Son of Abraham”

Since: Aug 07

Natural Deviant

#157 Aug 28, 2009
equalityboy81 wrote:
<quoted text>
Many bisexuals prefer one gender over the other. Do what feels good and feels right? Don't feel the need to be under a certain label or category. If it feels good do it. Don't worry about stigmas and stereotypes. You may be bisexual but prefer women more than men or prefer women more romantically and men more sexually. You may come to find you like men more. No matter what the outcome there is nothing wrong with you. Enjoy and explore your sexuality.
http://www.cat-and-dragon.com/stef/Poly/Labri...
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kinsey_scale
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Klein_Sexual_Ori...
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bi-curious
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bisexual
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Homosexual_orien...
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Heterosexuality
Most people have a "primary preference" while, IMO, pansexuality, is probably the most common sexuality with people basing their attraction on what's above the shoulders and not by what's below the belt.
Lily

Atlanta, GA

#158 Aug 28, 2009
LindaS wrote:
<quoted text>
If you don't know the answer, do you really expect to get a definitive answer from a bunch of strangers on a message board who comment after reading one paragraph you have written about it?
If you are attracted to the same sex, you are at least bisexual. You would still consider yourself bi-curious I suppose since you haven't acted on it, but it is up to you how you want to define yourself, not anyone else. And it is totally up to you what you choose to do with your sexual attractions.
I don't know this for a fact but I think that a lot of women have wondered what it would be like to be with another woman. I don't think that makes us bi or bi-curious either one. Most of us given the chance probably wouldn't even act on it but just call it a curiosity or fantasy.

Since: Jun 08

Location hidden

#159 Aug 28, 2009
i was when i was younger and slept with my cousin!

“Marriage=Love+Co mmitment.....”

Since: Oct 07

Location hidden

#160 Aug 28, 2009
Lily wrote:
<quoted text>
I don't know this for a fact but I think that a lot of women have wondered what it would be like to be with another woman. I don't think that makes us bi or bi-curious either one. Most of us given the chance probably wouldn't even act on it but just call it a curiosity or fantasy.
I think we get a lot of messages in our culture that tell us women are sexy, and that is going to effect women as well as men. I know plenty of women who have been curious, and acted on it in some way, either by kissing or actually having sex with a woman, but have said it just didn't do anything for them the way being with a man would.
They are not bisexual because they had sex with a woman, they are straight because it didn't fulfill them.
special ed

West Islip, NY

#161 Aug 28, 2009
LindaS wrote:
<quoted text>
I think we get a lot of messages in our culture that tell us women are sexy, and that is going to effect women as well as men. I know plenty of women who have been curious, and acted on it in some way, either by kissing or actually having sex with a woman, but have said it just didn't do anything for them the way being with a man would.
They are not bisexual because they had sex with a woman, they are straight because it didn't fulfill them.
Bisexual men are just lazy or too drunk to do the work so they lay there and take it.Unless your in prison there's no reason to be gay.

“a ”

Since: Aug 09

Location hidden

#162 Aug 28, 2009
Well to see, i checked out a guy in the metro, with his shirt a little unbutonned, and i felt nothing, it was like, when i was looking at his skin, looking at any other skin ,like elephant skin or whatever, i didn't feel anything.
That worked for me, but sometimes i think someone can be straight but attracted to a guy psychologically or to his personality or think that his facial or physical body, like his eye colours or his fair skin, would look good if he were a woman, but if you clean things up in your head and fix the mess or confusion, if you're straight ,you probably will be back to normal, and that's if you're straight it means your normal was that you liked girls but didn't like guys . But if as far as you can remember you liked both guys and girls ,maybe you're bi. But maybe it can be more complicated, in a psychological way.
bi-cowboy

United States

#163 Aug 28, 2009
I absolutely love men but I could never do without women. My marriage is unstable and I'm seriously thinking about spending the rest of my life with a man.
Waterboy

Luxemburg, WI

#164 Aug 28, 2009
bi-cowboy wrote:
I absolutely love men but I could never do without women. My marriage is unstable and I'm seriously thinking about spending the rest of my life with a man.
Yeah man, know what ur going thru. I decided to be Bi. Now have the best of both worlds and am happy with my decision, although, you have to be very discreet. Still alot of "Rednecks" who don't approve of a persons lifestyle, which isn't theirs.

Be careful though about who u see. You don't want to be set-up.

“EQUAL RIGHTS”

Since: Feb 08

NO MORE-NO LESS

#165 Aug 29, 2009
special ed wrote:
<quoted text>Bisexual men are just lazy or too drunk to do the work so they lay there and take it.Unless your in prison there's no reason to be gay.
time for you to get back on the short bus, special ed.

“Protestant, Gay, Libertarian”

Since: Apr 08

Long Island, NY

#166 Aug 29, 2009
allie topeka wrote:
<quoted text>
time for you to get back on the short bus, special ed.
ROFL !

“To push the boundaries....”

Since: Oct 07

Nazereth, Israel

#167 Aug 29, 2009
special ed wrote:
<quoted text>Bisexual men are just lazy or too drunk to do the work so they lay there and take it.Unless your in prison there's no reason to be gay.
You seem to be rather clueless. That, however, doesn't surrise me, inasmuch as the term 'special ed' is oft used as a polite code for 'children who are too stupid to be taught with the other children'.
True, that it doesn't always mean that, but in your case, if the shoe fits....
equalityboy81

United States

#168 Aug 30, 2009
McMike wrote:
<quoted text>
Most people have a "primary preference" while, IMO, pansexuality, is probably the most common sexuality with people basing their attraction on what's above the shoulders and not by what's below the belt.
What's IMO? What's the difference between pansexuality and bisexuality? Can someone be both or only one or the other?

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