Tony

AOL

#85 Dec 26, 2007
This is a very common problem. Women do not understand that men have little control over when
they feel like getting intimate. 24/7 is not fair
and shows a lack of discipline, like a dog salivating (as my wife says), but you can see the
ads all over the TV for drugs to take so you can be ready when the wife is finally agreeable.
Take me for instance, I get sex every six months whether I need it or not!! Seriously and sadly
i don't know if there is an answer except join
the Mormon Church and wait until you die so you can have more than one shot at it. Think about it.
If a man could afford it, Why not? One of my biggest questions is why GOD would put two such
exact opposite creatures on the earth and expect them to marry and be happy together. If there
wee no sex drive in men this would be possible
but come on and face it you dumb women. Men would
never marry and take all the responsibility for
you and the children if not for sex, and then you
marry him, take the security and all that goes
with having a pack mule to call on and then deny
him sex. IT IS A SIN AND YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED!

“Have fun doing it!!”

Since: Dec 07

Atlanta, GA

#86 Dec 26, 2007
Tony wrote:
This is a very common problem. Women do not understand that men have little control over when
they feel like getting intimate. 24/7 is not fair
and shows a lack of discipline, like a dog salivating (as my wife says), but you can see the
ads all over the TV for drugs to take so you can be ready when the wife is finally agreeable.
Take me for instance, I get sex every six months whether I need it or not!! Seriously and sadly
i don't know if there is an answer except join
the Mormon Church and wait until you die so you can have more than one shot at it. Think about it.
If a man could afford it, Why not? One of my biggest questions is why GOD would put two such
exact opposite creatures on the earth and expect them to marry and be happy together. If there
wee no sex drive in men this would be possible
but come on and face it you dumb women. Men would
never marry and take all the responsibility for
you and the children if not for sex, and then you
marry him, take the security and all that goes
with having a pack mule to call on and then deny
him sex. IT IS A SIN AND YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED!
Sorry that you feel this way. I agree with you and I am a woman. You should get sex more than twice a year.. Talk to her. Tell her what you need and let her know that its making you miserable and maybe even tempting you.

Since: Dec 07

Waco, TX

#87 Dec 26, 2007
JaniceV wrote:
<quoted text>
Excuse me, but I was reading aaaa post above this one where you stated that you and your husband's marriage was almost to the perfect mark. Yet, you are telling us that you either can not or will not have sex with him as often as he wants it. You stated that it is only 5 times a day/night. Yet, he wants it more that definitely would cause a person to question that your marriage is as wonderful as you make it sound. Maybe some communication could be installed to help the sex orfor better wording the lack of it.
Janice...Since everyone else was being sarcastic at first, I was too with that comment about 5 times a day. My husband and I are perfectly satisfied with our lovemaking, and neither of us really wants to have sex 5 times a day, every day. I don't believe anyone really does, especially our age. We always show each other love and compassion and there are more ways to do that than with sex only. We have a very good realtionship. I hope you do as well with the one you love. Lighten up...
Cold Wife

Mount Laurel, NJ

#88 Dec 26, 2007
Unsatisfied Husband, at least it took some time before your wife stoped having sex with you. I'm 29 and my wife is 27 and we barely have sex. When we do there is no foreplay very little dirty talk, and we only do it in the missinary position. It takes me at least 20 mins to get my penis into my wife because she is not lubricated at all. Because of this I have trouble staying errect and this causes other problems and she blames me for our problems. If I bring it up with her she freaks out and says I'm being insenstive. I think I'm one of the few guys who actually fakes orgasims more than his wife. It's terrible. I get a lot more satisfaction from porn than I do my wife. I don't want to cheat but If I ever get the opportunity it will be hard for me to resist.

“Have fun doing it!!”

Since: Dec 07

Atlanta, GA

#89 Dec 27, 2007
Cold Wife wrote:
Unsatisfied Husband, at least it took some time before your wife stoped having sex with you. I'm 29 and my wife is 27 and we barely have sex. When we do there is no foreplay very little dirty talk, and we only do it in the missinary position. It takes me at least 20 mins to get my penis into my wife because she is not lubricated at all. Because of this I have trouble staying errect and this causes other problems and she blames me for our problems. If I bring it up with her she freaks out and says I'm being insenstive. I think I'm one of the few guys who actually fakes orgasims more than his wife. It's terrible. I get a lot more satisfaction from porn than I do my wife. I don't want to cheat but If I ever get the opportunity it will be hard for me to resist.
Try going down on her before you actually try to stick it to her, make it wet. You'll both enjoy it. Maybe she will think that you want to try something new- you never know- she may be game.
Okie-52

Mcalester, OK

#90 Dec 27, 2007
Well Tex I'd like to tell you it's going to get better...BUT i won't lie to you. Mine started around that age 45'ish and it only got worse with age. Year ago she talked me into a boob job and a tummy tuck...okay I'm thinking she's not feeling sexy any more so I pop $10k on a good job...and she looks fantastic. DOES it improve my sex life ..not a bit!! SO I fool around a bit and yes I'M still good at what I do best..not a mechanical issue with me...( and younger ladies too). I know the wife is on mulitply med's of many kinds and powerful stuff too, and she's been to many doctors looking to improve...but no luck.
AND like they say it only works for so long...well heck fire the light is at the end of my tunnel so to speak...this freight train ain't going to run on time for ever, ya know???
I've thought about the divorce thing more than once...figured I had just enough time to get set up once more before retirement and all....just don't have any answers just more questions.

“God Sent His Only Son”

Since: Aug 07

Texas- Oklahoma

#91 Dec 27, 2007
cjaneh wrote:
<quoted text>
Janice...Since everyone else was being sarcastic at first, I was too with that comment about 5 times a day. My husband and I are perfectly satisfied with our lovemaking, and neither of us really wants to have sex 5 times a day, every day. I don't believe anyone really does, especially our age. We always show each other love and compassion and there are more ways to do that than with sex only. We have a very good realtionship. I hope you do as well with the one you love. Lighten up...
I owe you an apology. I truly am sorry. I certainly misinterpreted your post. You are so right there are many more ways to show your love for each other than the sex.God bless
Resntful

Halifax, Canada

#93 Jan 4, 2008
Thobbing wrote:
You didn't say how old your children are. Is your wife taking any medications for PPD? These med can seriously slow things down. Sometimes women gain a little weight and they don't feel "sexy" anymore. Children can also be very stressful and tiring. We have a 5 year old and a 18 month old. My wife lost interest in sex a long time ago. We are down to about once a year now. WOW
How do you cope? A sexless marriage is defined as 10 or less times per year. We have a 2 year old and more on the way. I already HATE our miserable sex life.
Join Free
Bothered By It All

Plano, TX

#94 Jan 4, 2008
My wife, now age 40, used to shag me like a rabbit, that is, until she had my daughter, now age 6. Since she became pregnant with her, now over 7.5 years ago, we have had sex about an average of four to five times a year. I could do it every day and my age is 50. My desire has not waned at all since I was a teenager. Her excuses have been many, most of them already touched on in here: too tired, too late, too early, too much work to do, too fat, on period, headache, need a shower, etc.. Of course, my fault, too, so she says: too risky (I got a vasectomy), I'm not feeling close to you (I try to get intimate without initiating sex, but she rebuffs it.."I need my space"), she brings up something we argued about years ago as a reason she's feeling resentful, etc., etc., etc.

I've tried getting babysitters and going out, even getting a nice hotel room, flowers to surprise her at work, flowers to surprise her at home, surprise trips to the Caribbean, wonderful expensive meals, purchased sexy lingerie for her, diamond earrings and necklaces. Nothing works!!! I take care of our home, which is rather large at 4500+ square feet, so I know it's a lot of upkeep. It's beautifully landscaped and I take care of it to keep it looking great. I paint and repair and remodel. I clean, cook, take out the trash, do laundry, fold towels, sheets, etc.. I cook elaborate meals, treat her family great, never badmouth her, her friends or any of her family. Nothing works!!!

Over three years ago, four and half years into a virtually sexless marriage, I met a woman who was my sexual equal. She lived in a far away state and I traveled extensively in my business, so it was easy to see her often. We had a torrid affair for four months, then I shut it down and have seen her only twice since then. In the first two weeks of those four months I had sex more than I had in the previous four years. Since I stopped the affair, I've had sex very few times, and in the last year only once.

As morally wrong as the affair was, I had to stop seeing the "other" woman. As much as I wanted to be with her, I had real mental hangups about the cheating. I really miss having a great sex life and am really, truly tired of "trying" all the time to figure out what would make my wife change, but I suppose that's something that'll never change. I ask myself all the time if I'm willing to continue like this for the rest of my life or if I should seek counseling to deal with it or should I just leave. I'd hate to leave my marriage and do damage to my little girl. All I know is this: being in a sexless marriage sucks. The only reason I stay in any more is for my kid. If I didn't have her to deal with, I would have left her three years ago.
Powerboy

Sydney, Australia

#95 Jan 21, 2008
cjaneh wrote:
My husband says I am frigid. I only want sex 5 times a day/night. I wish I could want it more. I really want to please him. What can I do to build up my sex drive?
5 times! I would be the happiest man in the world if I had it just once a week.
Get a grip

Kunming, China

#96 Jan 24, 2008
"Get a clue" needs to get a grip. Your accusations may come from your own frustrated marriage but you simply assume that the husband is the bad guy. You might be right. After all, we're on an anonymous forum and who's knows who's lying or telling the truth? But, based on the original poster's description, you certainly have a nerve.
It seems to always be the husband's fault that his wife isn't in the "mood". Short of a physical problem, maybe at least half the problem lies with her own selfishness, bitterness, or other hang-up caused by who knows what. But a lot of men here are saying they love their wives and really want to have a full relationship that their wives don't seem to want anymore.
I also this adultery is not an answer. What kind of husband (or wife) would consider that? It would certainly make things worse. But the wife has a responsibility in any relationship too. Both husband and wife are responsible for this aspect of marriage.
It seems that the story-line often reads that both the husband and wife willingly, passionately, and regularly participated in sex during the early part of their marriage. But then the wife (usually) changed and left her husband frustrated to the point that he is considering divorce or adultery. It must be looked at on a case-by-case basis, but wives have a responsibility to respond to their husbands and vice versa.
"Get a clue" don't assume that women are the only ones who work. You seem to imply that a woman gives out sexual favors as a reward for her husband's "proper behavior".(According to the woman's definition). If you think that's a good thing, then you are little more than a prostitute.

“'' Einstein ''”

Since: Jan 08

Georgia, USA baby :)

#97 Jan 24, 2008
Unsatisfied Husband wrote:
My wife is 35 and I am 39. I am bubbling with sex desire 24/7 even at this age and she has become cold and frigid already!! According to statistical figures, women get their sexual peak at mid-thirties, then how come my wife has become cold already?
When I ask her for having sex, usually at night before going to bed, she gives me all kind of excuses such as, I am tired, I am sleepy, I have to wake up early tomorrow, kids are still awake, it is very cold (weather) today etc. etc. By the way, every fall and winter she do not want to have sex more often (since she will have to undress) because she is going to feel cold! She usually is ready to have it over the weekend but never on weeknights. We used to have 2-3 times a week a few years ago, then gradually it became once a week, then once every 2 weeks and now sometimes once a month...!!!
I am really getting tired of her excuses. I told her to see a doctor but she refuses that there is nothing wrong with her. I have reached at the boiling point and now I just think of having an extra-marital affair without her consent. I feel like giving her a divorce but that will be my last option since I do not want my kids to suffer.
Anyone has gone through such similar situation? Any ideas on boosting up her libido?
Do you go down on her? Im close to your age and whenever I get in the mood I just whisper in her ear that I want to go down on her and that does it then after she’s satisfied I get my lovin :) if the kids are awake turn up the stereo . There’s ways to get her in the mood . What about sexual toys do you have any ? She may like that ! If you’ve been married for a long time she probably thinks its going to be the same ole routine so you have to show her different and spice things up . Adult movies , toys, role play etc ...
SexySam

Melbourne, Australia

#98 Jan 24, 2008
Get back to basics.
Is she on any chemical form of birth control> Pill, IUD hormone release, Needle, Implant etc???
Men, wake up! These methods of birth control can kill libido, thats what they are designed to do. They also add weight which is doubly depressing for us chicks! Guys, if you are unhappy with the way your wife is behaving as far as sex goes....here's an idea. Tell her to get off the pill and go get yourself snipped! Your sex life will improve no end.Why? She'll have no libido killing chemicals to deal with and your snip will bring her a whole new level of stress free uninhibited sex (not worrying about getting pregnant) Why should it be up to us anyway? The pill is not a good drug to take every day, it has lots of side effects but we just put up with in order not to get pregnant and to keep our men happy. That's so damn medieval and we shouldn't have to do it. Get off it girls, lose weight, get your spark back! I'm off it for the first time in 20 years and I am a different person.

Since: Sep 07

Location hidden

#99 Jan 24, 2008
Unsatisfied Husband wrote:
My wife is 35 and I am 39. I am bubbling with sex desire 24/7 even at this age and she has become cold and frigid already!! According to statistical figures, women get their sexual peak at mid-thirties, then how come my wife has become cold already?
When I ask her for having sex, usually at night before going to bed, she gives me all kind of excuses such as, I am tired, I am sleepy, I have to wake up early tomorrow, kids are still awake, it is very cold (weather) today etc. etc. By the way, every fall and winter she do not want to have sex more often (since she will have to undress) because she is going to feel cold! She usually is ready to have it over the weekend but never on weeknights. We used to have 2-3 times a week a few years ago, then gradually it became once a week, then once every 2 weeks and now sometimes once a month...!!!
I am really getting tired of her excuses. I told her to see a doctor but she refuses that there is nothing wrong with her. I have reached at the boiling point and now I just think of having an extra-marital affair without her consent. I feel like giving her a divorce but that will be my last option since I do not want my kids to suffer.
Anyone has gone through such similar situation? Any ideas on boosting up her libido?
Explain to your wife that she need to see a doctor. At age 35,your wife could be suffering from an early pre-menopausal period. Or, she could be depressed on something that she is not aware of.

The doctor could help her with that.
NYhomie

New York, NY

#100 Feb 25, 2008
yea it sucks.......dump her and get laid all the time
NYhomie

New York, NY

#101 Feb 25, 2008
try buying sex toys.......then give up if that doesnt work
Aint Life A Bitch

Newcastle Upon Tyne, UK

#102 Feb 26, 2008
Don't believe the crap of just do the laundry and help out with the housework and she'll come round. I stay at home, look after the kids, do the housework, all the laundry and yes, it is tiring. But I am still up for it at bedtime, but my wife, who goes to work, socializes, comes home to eat the food I cook for her, is not interested in sex. Let's face it, she's had her kids, why should she be bothered with sex any more. It's a natural process. The problem is we have locked ourselves into a monogamous culture - which is not natural. A man should have many wives, so that when one goes off the boil he has other options, and a little competition wouldn't hurt either.

“French Canadians wifey”

Since: Feb 08

Danville, IL

#103 Feb 26, 2008
Unsatisfied Husband wrote:
<quoted text>
What is PPD? She is not on any medication currently. She was diagnosed with an Anemia in Spring of last year and she was taking iron supplements. I don't know if Anemia has kicked back again. I will try to determine if that is the cause. My children are 10 and 4.
If she is anemic, then that could be the cause of her being tired. Anemic people tire easily due to the lack of iron in their blood. That may be why she is tired and she can't help that.

Since: Jan 08

Norwich, UK

#104 Feb 26, 2008
i think you should try getting sex in the day time
steve

Westport, MA

#105 Feb 26, 2008
Subkitty20 wrote:
<quoted text>
If she is anemic, then that could be the cause of her being tired. Anemic people tire easily due to the lack of iron in their blood. That may be why she is tired and she can't help that.
that is a good point,you did'nt answer my last message about my well endowed ment.i did'nt have to carry on so much about myself,sorry.i wanted to get you excited!that was the idea.again i just think your picture is really hot!is this really you.bye for now.send me a message,please

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