dirty sex jokes.
George

Discovery Bay, CA

#1 Mar 9, 2007
What do u call a asian man with a big rod,an italin squenting.
(picture robert de niro)
grace

Australia

#2 Mar 9, 2007
*ahem* dont be mean *slaps wrist* im sure they have very nice peepees as well as a joke my mother insisted on telling me when i saw her the other day two gay guys were in a bar and one said something along the lines of ill push that stool in for you...
George

Discovery Bay, CA

#3 Mar 9, 2007
Hahaha i feel bad about the joke so could u please flag it.
M-A-R_M-A-R

Frederick, MD

#4 Mar 9, 2007
you little nnnnnnaaaaaaaaaaaaaassstys! sick people sick people !!!!!! eewwww plus im only 9! gosh!
usmc

United States

#5 Mar 9, 2007
Pulling up to the toll both Jack handed the collector a $100.00 bill.

Looking incredulously at the bill, the collector, in a snappy tone, exclaimed "I can't break this! I need exact change."

"Come on buddy." Jack pleaded, "Can't you give me a break, just this once?"
"Nope. Sorry. Exact change!" Answered the collector.

"While thumbing through the change in his ashtray Jack asked the collector, "Do you really like this job?"

"Well it's not the best job that I've ever had, but it pays the bills," replied the collector. "what do you do for a living?" he asked.

Still counting change and without looking up Jack said, "I'm a rectum stretcher."

"A what?" asked the collector.
"A rectum stretcher." Jack replied, giving the collector a slideways glance.

"What does a rectum stretcher do?" The collector asked.
"Well just as the name implies, I stretch rectums." Jack explained setting aside a nickle.

"Wow, is there much call for that kind of work?" The collector asked.
"Oh you'd be surprised. It's real popular with the upper crust, the high society people, the jet set. It's the new trend." Jack said.

Pausing for a moment the collector then asked, "Well if you don't mind me asking, I mean if it's not too personal, how big do you, well you know...?"

"...How big do I stretch them?" Jack interupted. "Most of them, not too big," He continued, "but I have stretched some up to six feet."

"SIX FEET!" The collector exclaimed eyes wide, and jaw slack. "Six Feet. What is someone going to do with a six foot asshole?"

Jack, having counted out the exact change, handed the change to the collector. Looking him in the eye, Jack answered, "Oh, put it on a toll bridge collecting tolls."

Since: Dec 06

Location hidden

#6 Mar 9, 2007
I remember getting spanked for this when I was little. I had no idea what it meant at the time.

Two little kids were playing in the back yard, a little boy and a little girl. They were there most of the afternoon. When the little girl went in for dinner she brought her friend with her. Her father asked her what they were doing all afternoon and the little girl replied "I was blowing bubbles". The father then asked the little boy who he was and he replied "I'm bubbles"!

Yikes, that was bad !!!:))
George

Discovery Bay, CA

#7 Mar 9, 2007
usmc wrote:
Pulling up to the toll both Jack handed the collector a $100.00 bill.
Looking incredulously at the bill, the collector, in a snappy tone, exclaimed "I can't break this! I need exact change."
"Come on buddy." Jack pleaded, "Can't you give me a break, just this once?"
"Nope. Sorry. Exact change!" Answered the collector.
"While thumbing through the change in his ashtray Jack asked the collector, "Do you really like this job?"
"Well it's not the best job that I've ever had, but it pays the bills," replied the collector. "what do you do for a living?" he asked.
Still counting change and without looking up Jack said, "I'm a rectum stretcher."
"A what?" asked the collector.
"A rectum stretcher." Jack replied, giving the collector a slideways glance.
"What does a rectum stretcher do?" The collector asked.
"Well just as the name implies, I stretch rectums." Jack explained setting aside a nickle.
"Wow, is there much call for that kind of work?" The collector asked.
"Oh you'd be surprised. It's real popular with the upper crust, the high society people, the jet set. It's the new trend." Jack said.
Pausing for a moment the collector then asked, "Well if you don't mind me asking, I mean if it's not too personal, how big do you, well you know...?"
"...How big do I stretch them?" Jack interupted. "Most of them, not too big," He continued, "but I have stretched some up to six feet."
"SIX FEET!" The collector exclaimed eyes wide, and jaw slack. "Six Feet. What is someone going to do with a six foot asshole?"
Jack, having counted out the exact change, handed the change to the collector. Looking him in the eye, Jack answered, "Oh, put it on a toll bridge collecting tolls."
I screamed when i heard what you said did u think mine was funny anyway's this was a certified classic.
usmc

United States

#8 Mar 9, 2007
LOL that is pretty funny. Sad but funny. Hahaha.
George

Discovery Bay, CA

#9 Mar 9, 2007
Shilo wrote:
I remember getting spanked for this when I was little. I had no idea what it meant at the time.
Two little kids were playing in the back yard, a little boy and a little girl. They were there most of the afternoon. When the little girl went in for dinner she brought her friend with her. Her father asked her what they were doing all afternoon and the little girl replied "I was blowing bubbles". The father then asked the little boy who he was and he replied "I'm bubbles"!
Yikes, that was bad !!!:))
Oh my GOD that is just sraight GOLD sexy you killed with that one,did u really tell that joke as a kid lol.

Since: Dec 06

Location hidden

#10 Mar 9, 2007
George wrote:
<quoted text>Oh my GOD that is just sraight GOLD sexy you killed with that one,did u really tell that joke as a kid lol.
Not is quite the wording but yes I did and yes I did have one sore little butt after I said it. But it wasn't fair, I didn't know what it meant.
I was something like this: I play in the backyard with my friend today blowing bubbles that's his name. I heard someone older telling the joke and everyone laughed so I tried to get laughs too. Did not work at all!!!
usmc

United States

#11 Mar 9, 2007
Awwww poor Shilo. Well I liked it Shilo.
yo man

Richmond Hill, Canada

#12 Mar 22, 2012
I got this one from just for laughs but its not that dirty at all. Read it out loud if you can. It makes it easier to understand:

So this 10 year old boy was playing at recess but then got pulled over by one of his classmates. This classmate then told the boy that he was going to teach him about sex.

"K so first, your micky goes hard." said the boy's classmate.

The boy nodded his head.

"And then you put it inside her." the boy's classmate continues.

The boy replies,"But I don't like cider."

Hahahahaha yeah i know its lame.
Mr hunk

Guangzhou, China

#13 Jun 29, 2012
A husband with altzaheimer went to the doctor for check up, the doctor asked for blood sample from the lab and told him he can go and later he will inform his wife with the result

the lab technician mistakenly gave the doctor a result of Hiv positive patient..

The doc calls wife; hello, madam we are suspecting your husband has AIDS..

Wife: No, not true! My husband is very loving and caring, he is so kind... He's never addicted drugs or f**ked a ho! My lovely hubby has altzaheimer there must be something wrong!

The doctor: anyway madam just in case, if he remembered the way back home dont sleep with him...
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