My girlfriend cheated
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lovestospooge

Windsor, Canada

#22 Jan 18, 2013
Nursingmommys5 wrote:
My 2 cents worth says:
You are acting like a high school brat. People cheat because they are not getting what they need. Attention from the other person.
they cheat because they don't feel needed or wanted and are taken for granted often.
To call one a slut is just wrong. If a man cheats and doesn't get caught hes the "MAN", if a woman cheats she is a "Slut". Fact is they are both loosers who care little for the relationship they are in.
If you treat people the way you wish to be treated you get it, when you treat them like crap you get crap in return.
You need to think about what is going on in your life and figure out where you want to be and who you want to be with. Before you throw away a good thing try talking with her and listen to what she tells you. You just might be the issue that needs to be fixed. Cheating only hurts it never solves any thing.
If she is worth keeping find out what is going on.
No. This half answer is specious. You've provided a convenient justification for people who are often indifferent to their partner's feelings or are poor communicators. If you have communicated your discontent to your partner to no avail, and HE or SHE has shown HIS or HER indifference by simply refusing to acknowledge you or fix the problem, then that is a different matter. But in such a scenario, you should probably exist the relationship anyway.

The fact is, some men and women do get cheated on because they are emotionally unavailable. They have low emotional intelligence, and they need to grow up a bit in that regard. However, the nice thing about being a life partner, is that there's nobody better than you and the therapist to help your partner improve that issue. If that person isn't worth the hassle, then that is the wrong relationship to be in.

Nursingmommys5, it is true that some people are cheated on because they've forgotten how to pay attention. I think I've addressed why that doesn't give their partners moral license to do whatever they please. Yet you can't deny that some people cheat because they are just callous. I know because I've acted that way.

I have been the insensitive callous prick. It wasn't a serious relationship; the girl was terrible in bed; she was horrendously immature (likely due to neglect from an overworked father), she was maudlin (foolishly sentimental); she was a disgustingly sloppy eater; she had a stinky box is; and she seemed to have gained at least 20 pounds from when my friend dumped her. But I humored her and agreed to be her 'boyfriend' despite the fact that I was screwing someone else. The fact is, I simply didn't have the balls to tell her everything that I couldn't stand about her. That was my immaturity: spinelessness. Regardless, I wanted to keep her around for sex as long as I could (or until I was just too repulsed) because it's famine or feast with me. The point is that I was insensitive; I was callous; I was selfish; and if other people's feelings are worth considering, it was on me to let her know how I felt much sooner than I did. It could have prevented any undue attachment to me.
caron

Amarillo, TX

#23 Jan 18, 2013
doug wrote:
<quoted text>
well every relationship is different.I have not heard him mention that they agreed to stay true to each other.Some guys think because they are dating a girl that they own her.If they want to own her then they should put a ring on her and have a agreement not to play with others.It seems the younger people are more likely jealous and not wanting to share there partner.They feel insecure.The guys think that if another guy bangs his gf out better then he does that he will lose her to him.My wife and I have been married and I have been cuckolded many times and she has guys banging her just about every weekend.At the end of the night she is home with me.
I never heard him say they where in an open relationship. I'm open minded but would expect any girlfriend to say "hey I'm Gunna Fuck other ppl" if she's "sharing'. I think most of us feel that way. Maybenot on Topix but in rl. I've got no advice, but be as pissed as u wanna be man. Atleast on your own, until u decide if u wanna tolerate her shit. Just because you don't wanna share doesn't make you a jealous Neanderthal. So might call a married man who does share, a spineless little panzy who can't keep it up
lovestospooge

Windsor, Canada

#24 Jan 18, 2013
doug wrote:
<quoted text>
well every relationship is different.I have not heard him mention that they agreed to stay true to each other.Some guys think because they are dating a girl that they own her.If they want to own her then they should put a ring on her and have a agreement not to play with others.It seems the younger people are more likely jealous and not wanting to share there partner.They feel insecure.The guys think that if another guy bangs his gf out better then he does that he will lose her to him.My wife and I have been married and I have been cuckolded many times and she has guys banging her just about every weekend.At the end of the night she is home with me.
Fair enough. I'm single now, but I could see sharing my partner provided that I know that I'm number one, nobody has what we have, and she's out there for curiosity rather than relief and better pickings. This is probably why swapping is probably the best choice. It's planned and coordinated - often with other people whom you love and trust.
doug

Roseville, MI

#25 Jan 18, 2013
caron wrote:
<quoted text> I never heard him say they where in an open relationship. I'm open minded but would expect any girlfriend to say "hey I'm Gunna Fuck other ppl" if she's "sharing'. I think most of us feel that way. Maybenot on Topix but in rl. I've got no advice, but be as pissed as u wanna be man. Atleast on your own, until u decide if u wanna tolerate her shit. Just because you don't wanna share doesn't make you a jealous Neanderthal. So might call a married man who does share, a spineless little panzy who can't keep it up
Being a gf does not mean that she is totally committed to him.She is not his wife or fiancee and is fair game.My wife and I go to adult clubs and I see young guys all the time that are real jealous and not wanting to share there girl.They enjoy banging my wife which I have no problem with tat but they do not want there gf/wife to take a banging from the guys.I do not think you have much experience in sharing and if you did you would not mind sharing your gf/wife.This has nothing to do with being a panzy as you would call it.
AussieDude

Australia

#26 Jan 18, 2013
doug wrote:
<quoted text>
I am not pushing my lifestyle on anyone.Alot of times guys are jealous when there gf is getting banged by other guys and he thinks he will lose her if she gets a better banging from the other guy.Sometimes they need to learn how much fun it is to share each other and meet other poeple.I was a little jealous the first few times I had to watch as my wife had guys banging her and having there way with her.I even had to watch young black guys banging her and they tore her up good!! Once you learn that it is just sex and not love it will be alot of good sexual fun
What do you mean you " had to " ?

You didn't have to watch or agree to for to have sex with other men.

You chose to....not had to.

What would happen if you chose not to agree with your wife having sex with other men or if you chose not to watch your wife.

Nobody can force you to do anything, unless you choose to be forced.

Nobody enjoys to be dominated whether your a man or a woman.

Myself....I don't enjoy dominating other people and I don't enjoy other people trying to dominate me.
lovestospooge

Windsor, Canada

#27 Jan 18, 2013
ummm yeah wrote:
<quoted text> chucky's wife is always getting screwed on the screen.
LoL. You know your cinema, my friend.
doug

Roseville, MI

#28 Jan 18, 2013
AussieDude wrote:
<quoted text>
What do you mean you " had to " ?
You didn't have to watch or agree to for to have sex with other men.
You chose to....not had to.
What would happen if you chose not to agree with your wife having sex with other men or if you chose not to watch your wife.
Nobody can force you to do anything, unless you choose to be forced.
Nobody enjoys to be dominated whether your a man or a woman.
Myself....I don't enjoy dominating other people and I don't enjoy other people trying to dominate me.
well when you are in a adult club and the guys ask your wife if she wants to go in the sex room with them and she saids yes--then I hav to watch as they bang her and have there way with her.That is why you go to a club--to share and have fun with different people.I also can play with other women and bang another guys wife/gf too.If I did not like my wife getting banged by other guys then I would not be with her.She was getting banged by other guys when I met her so I have no problem with sharing her.Last summer at a pool party she got into it with a 18 year old guy and next thing I knew he had her stripped down and they were going at it.He told her he was going to bang the heck out of her--and he did!!
caron

Amarillo, TX

#29 Jan 18, 2013
doug wrote:
<quoted text>
Being a gf does not mean that she is totally committed to him.She is not his wife or fiancee and is fair game.My wife and I go to adult clubs and I see young guys all the time that are real jealous and not wanting to share there girl.They enjoy banging my wife which I have no problem with tat but they do not want there gf/wife to take a banging from the guys.I do not think you have much experience in sharing and if you did you would not mind sharing your gf/wife.This has nothing to do with being a panzy as you would call it.
conventionally it does mean there is a reasonable expectation of monogomy. This guy didn't come on saying hey, should I be cool with her getting some guys nut all over her clothes from some dude. No. He asked for advice. Not to be berated into allowing his girl to uck other guys. Bro by all means, if it got u hot thinking of her getting nailed by someone else. Explore that with her responsably. If it discusts you knowing your girl did this, go with that too. Both schools of thot have followers. Maybe she did it to keep her job, or maybe her dad/brother just grabbed the nearest rag to unload on. Jealousy can be a sexual kink, as much so as sharing.
Join Free
doug

Roseville, MI

#30 Jan 18, 2013
caron wrote:
<quoted text> conventionally it does mean there is a reasonable expectation of monogomy. This guy didn't come on saying hey, should I be cool with her getting some guys nut all over her clothes from some dude. No. He asked for advice. Not to be berated into allowing his girl to uck other guys. Bro by all means, if it got u hot thinking of her getting nailed by someone else. Explore that with her responsably. If it discusts you knowing your girl did this, go with that too. Both schools of thot have followers. Maybe she did it to keep her job, or maybe her dad/brother just grabbed the nearest rag to unload on. Jealousy can be a sexual kink, as much so as sharing.
there is alot you do not know about his situation,such as how old they are and how long they have been together,and what if anything they agreed to about not playing with others.I just think now a days it is more acceptable to have a relationship where as both people can play.A open relationship works for some people but it is not for everyone.Why do they not want to share there partner?? Are they afraid they will lose there partner if the sex is better? It comes down to being jealous,not being mature,insecure,and not realizing the difference between sex and love
caron

Amarillo, TX

#31 Jan 18, 2013
doug wrote:
<quoted text>
there is alot you do not know about his situation,such as how old they are and how long they have been together,and what if anything they agreed to about not playing with others.I just think now a days it is more acceptable to have a relationship where as both people can play.A open relationship works for some people but it is not for everyone.Why do they not want to share there partner?? Are they afraid they will lose there partner if the sex is better? It comes down to being jealous,not being mature,insecure,and not realizing the difference between sex and love
lol, is that an underhanded insult? So your saying if a guy doesn't share he is insecure, jealous, and incapable of knowing the difference between sex and love?
Drewkin

Hamilton, Canada

#32 Jan 18, 2013
doug wrote:
<quoted text>
there is alot you do not know about his situation,such as how old they are and how long they have been together,and what if anything they agreed to about not playing with others.I just think now a days it is more acceptable to have a relationship where as both people can play.A open relationship works for some people but it is not for everyone.Why do they not want to share there partner?? Are they afraid they will lose there partner if the sex is better? It comes down to being jealous,not being mature,insecure,and not realizing the difference between sex and love
We have been together since march last year, also we talked to each other about cheating or breaking up in the past but we came to agreement that if one of us is cheating or does not want to be in a relationship we can end it, honestly I think I'm good to her that's why I was asking for advice I was asking for rational answers because when you find somthing out like that its hard to think things over....
doug

Roseville, MI

#33 Jan 18, 2013
caron wrote:
<quoted text> lol, is that an underhanded insult? So your saying if a guy doesn't share he is insecure, jealous, and incapable of knowing the difference between sex and love?
that is sorta what I am saying,but if a guy expects his gf to be true with just him then he needs to let her know that in the beginning of the relationship.Just because she is a gf does not mean she might not want to play with other guys.I know guys with "gf's" that are just that-a gf and they have other guys banging them to.Just because someone is a bf or a gf does not make them committed to just one person unless it has been agreed upon.
My wife has what she calls "bf's" and I ahve no problem with that.I tell her about my "gf".Its all good
doug

Roseville, MI

#34 Jan 18, 2013
Drewkin wrote:
<quoted text>
We have been together since march last year, also we talked to each other about cheating or breaking up in the past but we came to agreement that if one of us is cheating or does not want to be in a relationship we can end it, honestly I think I'm good to her that's why I was asking for advice I was asking for rational answers because when you find somthing out like that its hard to think things over....
I understand how you feel but I think you need to keep a open mind and maybe be a little understanding of her needs too.Maybe you and her need to maybe do a 3 some or try a swingers party to help your relationship.All I am saying is it would be better to see what she really wants and suppor her.Just because she may be getting banged by other guys does not mean she does not love you or maybe she is not ready to be in a committed relationship.

Since: Apr 12

Location hidden

#35 Jan 18, 2013
What drama! Come on, the guy has jealousy and anger issues due to a lack of trust. No man owns a woman. It is her body and she can do with it as she pleases. He is not even married to her. If she wants to play with other boys or men, that is her decision. Now he may not want to keep his relationship with her under those circumstances. It is only natural human behavior. We are sexual animals and some men have insecurity issues and others demand a higher standard of fidelity. I have no idea why a perfectly sane person in their right mind would post a comment like that on a public website and then be surprised because they are bombarded with a combination of informed and stupid comments from total strangers about his life, his relationship, his decisions, and his girlfriend and her behavior. At least it acts as a vent for his concern. He would be better off telling her how he feels in a controlled voice and without any threats and discuss it like a mature adult with her - and only her.
AussieDude

Australia

#36 Jan 18, 2013
Drewkin wrote:
<quoted text>
We have been together since march last year, also we talked to each other about cheating or breaking up in the past but we came to agreement that if one of us is cheating or does not want to be in a relationship we can end it, honestly I think I'm good to her that's why I was asking for advice I was asking for rational answers because when you find somthing out like that its hard to think things over....
Drewkin.... If you really care about her and if she really cares about...you need to be honest with her how you feel and she needs to be honest with you.

In your opening post, you mentioned that she said the cum stains on the shirt were from sex you had yesterday, and you told us that you didn't have sex.

Well, if that's the case...why is she lying that you sex together yesterday, and you didn't...as you stated.

Ask her, if she had sex with someone else yesterday because you know yourself that you didn't.

If she confesses then you will abide your agreement and both end it, as you stated previously.

If she denies it, then either she is lying or you have a very very short term memory and need a CAT scan.

Just my opinion
lovestospooge

Windsor, Canada

#37 Jan 18, 2013
MikeIrons wrote:
What drama! Come on, the guy has jealousy and anger issues due to a lack of trust. No man owns a woman. It is her body and she can do with it as she pleases. He is not even married to her. If she wants to play with other boys or men, that is her decision. Now he may not want to keep his relationship with her under those circumstances. It is only natural human behavior. We are sexual animals and some men have insecurity issues and others demand a higher standard of fidelity. I have no idea why a perfectly sane person in their right mind would post a comment like that on a public website and then be surprised because they are bombarded with a combination of informed and stupid comments from total strangers about his life, his relationship, his decisions, and his girlfriend and her behavior. At least it acts as a vent for his concern. He would be better off telling her how he feels in a controlled voice and without any threats and discuss it like a mature adult with her - and only her.
Nobody is saying that he owns her. Nobody is saying that she should be put in the stocks for the town to throw tomatoes at. What some of us might seem to be saying is that he is not unreasonable for having emotions of jealousy and hurt. I'm taking it farther. I'm saying that she doesn't need to be owned for the rest of us to judge her as insensitive and/or as a poor communicator (provided she's doing what she's suspected of doing..
Hootus

Spring, TX

#39 Jan 18, 2013
Drewkin wrote:
I was at my girlfriends today and I saw a shirt of hers but.... There was cum stains all over it, I did what anyone would do and asked her about it, she then told me its from yesterday when I was having sex with her! I was not even at her house yesterday -.- can someone tell me what they think I should do about her and our relationship?
You must assert yourself. Take charge. I recommend that walk right in to where she is, hike a leg, and let a big ol' Texas size toot. I mean a real ear splitter. Honk you horn like there's no tomorrow. And then you tell her that next time you will toot on her at night while she's sleeping. That will show that b!tch who's boss.

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