Girl caught having sex is blackmailed...

Girl caught having sex is blackmailed by her sister

There are 104 comments on the Chicago Tribune story from Mar 4, 2009, titled Girl caught having sex is blackmailed by her sister. In it, Chicago Tribune reports that:

DEAR ABBY: My sister, "Joni," caught me having sex with my boyfriend. Our parents were away and Joni was supposed to be gone for several hours, so I thought we would be safe.

Join the discussion below, or Read more at Chicago Tribune.

First Prev
of 6
Next Last
omg

Brooklyn, NY

#1 Mar 4, 2009
LW1: Ok, clearly the girl can't go to her parents. The whole point is that she can't have her parents knowing, and Abby suggests telling her parents. If only parents were more open about things.

Call your sister's bluff and say you have something on her. Then she might get scared and leave you alone. If your parents know what you were doing with your boyfriend, they will most certainly want to know what your sister is doing with hers. I doubt your sister would want them to investigate.

That said, always use condoms.
too old

Springfield, IL

#2 Mar 4, 2009
LW1 should take Abby's advice. If she's worried about telling her parents, she must be ashamed of it, which means she knows she shouldn't be doing it in the first place. Since she already lost her virginity, she needs to let her folks know.

LW2 is right. Tips are figured at the full price.

LW3 should look at her daughter's new family as her new family. It makes things MUCH easier. My in-laws and my parents love one another and celebrate holidays together, which makes things so much easier on me, my husband and our new daughter. I'm glad they're mature enough to embrace one another. I know not everyone always lives close enough to hang out, but respecting the in-laws as family should be done.
Beth

Chicago, IL

#3 Mar 4, 2009
Just because she doesn't want to tell her parents, doesn't mean she's ashamed. There are a number of things that I don't consider my parents business...I'm not ashamed of them!
too old wrote:
LW1 should take Abby's advice. If she's worried about telling her parents, she must be ashamed of it, which means she knows she shouldn't be doing it in the first place. Since she already lost her virginity, she needs to let her folks know.
LW2 is right. Tips are figured at the full price.
LW3 should look at her daughter's new family as her new family. It makes things MUCH easier. My in-laws and my parents love one another and celebrate holidays together, which makes things so much easier on me, my husband and our new daughter. I'm glad they're mature enough to embrace one another. I know not everyone always lives close enough to hang out, but respecting the in-laws as family should be done.
Stina

Saint Petersburg, FL

#4 Mar 4, 2009
LW1: Garden tool. Maybe you should spend a little less time fooling around with boys and a little more time doing something productive like studying. You have your wholle life to contract a disease. Why start trying to catch one now?

LW2: Full price. A no-brainer. Your husband is cheap.

LW3: Really, would it kill you to embrace her in-laws. It makes life easier for everyone.
Fink-Nottle

United States

#5 Mar 4, 2009
LW1: I'm a firm believer in deny, deny, deny. Just because your sister says something doesn't mean you have to admit it's true. I'd go to my parents first and say that my sister threatened to make up a lie about me sleeping with my boyfriend if I didn't do whatever she wanted. Look appropriately virginal and watch sister get in trouble. If there's one thing I've learned about parents is they WANT to believe their children are virgins no matter what the contrary evidence.
Kevin

Palatine, IL

#6 Mar 4, 2009
LW2: What a cheap 'stard. Husband, would it kill you to pay the server the $2-$4 bucks in question especially that you saved $8-$20 using the coupon?
Mia

Chicago, IL

#7 Mar 4, 2009
LW1 - I'm confused. If your sister tells, then your parents will make you stop seeing your boyfriend, then you will have to sneak around to see him...which you are already doing.

Abby is right. Please use more than one form of birth control.

LW2 - Tip on the full amount.

LW3 - I bet your daughter is happy to be part of a real family now that she has married into one.
Daria

Farmington, MI

#8 Mar 4, 2009
LW1--Don't do it at home. Everyone knows that's what back seats are for.

LW2--Why argue? He plunks down his measly dollar, you add the rest. Steal some out of his wallet while he's in the shower if you feel cheated.

LW3--The term "family" is all relative, anyway....
steph

College Park, MD

#9 Mar 4, 2009
Fink-Nottle wrote:
LW1: I'm a firm believer in deny, deny, deny. Just because your sister says something doesn't mean you have to admit it's true. I'd go to my parents first and say that my sister threatened to make up a lie about me sleeping with my boyfriend if I didn't do whatever she wanted. Look appropriately virginal and watch sister get in trouble. If there's one thing I've learned about parents is they WANT to believe their children are virgins no matter what the contrary evidence.
I agree. I would have done that from the start - make it seem like your sister is out to get you. There's no proof otherwise.
Patrick

United States

#10 Mar 4, 2009
LW1: Remember, payback is a b*** and revenge is a dish best served cold. Find some way to blackmail Joni and get every last drop of blood you can from her. Joni is total b*** and deserves full payback for what she is doing to you. Sisters should stick together, but Joni never learned that lesson. I hope you make her even more miserable than she is making you.

“Joy is the shadow cast by pain”

Since: Dec 08

Twin Cities, MN

#11 Mar 4, 2009
Fink-Nottle wrote:
LW1: I'm a firm believer in deny, deny, deny. Just because your sister says something doesn't mean you have to admit it's true. I'd go to my parents first and say that my sister threatened to make up a lie about me sleeping with my boyfriend if I didn't do whatever she wanted. Look appropriately virginal and watch sister get in trouble. If there's one thing I've learned about parents is they WANT to believe their children are virgins no matter what the contrary evidence.
I was thinking the same thing: Call her bluff and accuse HER of lying first!

I first had sex at 16 and was using protection. We were responsible. I didn't need my parents butting in with lectures about anything. Besides, they never discussed sex wtih me, so I hardly think they get to have a say in my sex life, even at 16.
Ihaveallkindsofm oney

New York, NY

#12 Mar 4, 2009
Fink-Nottle wrote:
LW1: I'm a firm believer in deny, deny, deny. Just because your sister says something doesn't mean you have to admit it's true. I'd go to my parents first and say that my sister threatened to make up a lie about me sleeping with my boyfriend if I didn't do whatever she wanted. Look appropriately virginal and watch sister get in trouble. If there's one thing I've learned about parents is they WANT to believe their children are virgins no matter what the contrary evidence.
I agree with you. That is the best way; what a horrible sister.
Maggie

United States

#13 Mar 4, 2009
LW1 - I like Fink-Nottle's (I love Wodehouse!!) advice. While in general I don't believe in lying to parents, some things are better left unknown.

LW2 - I always wonder about tipping by price anyway. Wait staff in an expensive restaurant get tipped more than a cheaper restaurant - even though they don't do any more work. Since I don't eat at expensive restaurants, it doesn't really affect me however.

LW3 - I figure there is no reason to put a limit on family. I don't have kids, but my niece's in-laws are listed as family on my Facebook page. While technically/legally, they are not related to me - we see each other on holidays and at other family get togethers.
what is worse

Chicago, IL

#14 Mar 4, 2009
I think I would be far angrier with the daughter doing the blackmailing than the one having sex. With the blackmailer she is doing something morally wrong and hurting her sibling.
The other one, at the worst, is just a teen doing what teens do and is what every parent must deal with.
P-Ellen

Lake Forest, IL

#15 Mar 4, 2009
LW1 I very much disagree with Abby's response. I assume that LW is not 12 or 13 in which case the parents very much should know. There are two things going on here. The first is the sexual but the second is the blackmail. Of the two the blackmail will have the longer and larger repercussions and should be dealt with firmly and first. Eventually the parents will get old and die but this girl is stuck with that sister for a long time. She now has a sibling she can neither trust nor rely upon, and one who will repeat the pattern in the future. Here is a suggested plan of action:talk to the boyfriend so he knows of the blackmail and any proposed action. She needs to find out how much he will stand behind her. Figure out what contact she can have with him if her parents do indeed forbid her to see him. Gather some proof that of her sister's conduct which can't be denied (Joni, the sister, will whine and deny. Blackmailers do). LW should have a back up plan to protect herself and her stuff from her sister, like a friends house where she can stay . Then, take a deep breath and tell both her parents at the same time, preferably with the boyfriend present.
You should never have to suffer a bully. Good luck honey.
J-Kat

Overbrook, OK

#16 Mar 4, 2009
AngelaMN wrote:
<quoted text>
I was thinking the same thing: Call her bluff and accuse HER of lying first!
I first had sex at 16 and was using protection. We were responsible. I didn't need my parents butting in with lectures about anything. Besides, they never discussed sex wtih me, so I hardly think they get to have a say in my sex life, even at 16.
I agree with you. In the best of all possible worlds, Dr. Pangloss, young girls could go to their moms with stuff like this. Unfortunately, we don't live in the best of all possible worlds, and some parents will go ballistic and turn abusive.

If her mother is in her 40s, most likely she was sexually active as a teen, too, but she'll conveniently forget that.
jjrg7

Raleigh, NC

#18 Mar 4, 2009
Tell your sister to go ahead and tell. If she does, deny it to your parents. Ask them why sissy would making up some crazy story that she claims happened weeks ago and tell you about it just now. It will throw them off.
CAM

Whiting, IN

#19 Mar 4, 2009
LW1: Tell your sister you are done with this before your parents notice.
If your sister does tell you can say you were only kissing and that you were afraid they would believe her instead of you.
Or, tell your parents this first and tell them you are sick of your sisters idle threats and how hurt you are that she would try to pull this stunt on your whole family.
You parents probably are not idiots and may start watching you like a hawk, like they should.
Teen love sounds perfect but I guarantee this is not even close to being your last love.
Don't overdue the bs, parents know when you are lying. Good luck.
You don't need to seek revenge, your sister will get what is coming to her.
CAM

Whiting, IN

#20 Mar 4, 2009
LW2: The tip is on the whole check 20% - tell cheapo to serve himself at a buffet if he is too tight to treat his server right.
Pippa1

Hancock, NY

#21 Mar 4, 2009
CAM wrote:
LW2: The tip is on the whole check 20%- tell cheapo to serve himself at a buffet if he is too tight to treat his server right.
Since when is it automatically 20%? Usually it's 15% with more or less depending on the service. Otherwise I'd agree with you. Oh wait, he'd probably not leave ANY tip at a buffet.

Tell me when this thread is updated:

Subscribe Now Add to my Tracker
First Prev
of 6
Next Last

Add your comments below

Characters left: 4000

Please note by submitting this form you acknowledge that you have read the Terms of Service and the comment you are posting is in compliance with such terms. Be polite. Inappropriate posts may be removed by the moderator. Send us your feedback.

Human Sexuality Discussions

Title Updated Last By Comments
Gay-Bi skype fun (Jul '15) 2 min Lover of old 327,973
g.f pics email adresses (Oct '15) 2 min John 91
zulu sex stories (Mar '11) 2 min Lakhala 11,896
gay snapchat!!! (Dec '12) 2 min enzomaxx 1,448,279
Sheffield meet tonight 2 min Licks5329 4
do girls get really horny when pregnant ? (Nov '12) 2 min Russell123 91
Girls nude snapchat usernames (May '14) 3 min Jakeyt85412 182,211
New dirty k..k (Oct '15) 3 min Reech87 221,935
what is the most forbidden sex you ever had ? (May '11) 3 min Mill6969 24,514
Gay/bi k.k 4 min Gayslut2468 137,834
More from around the web