Do girls like "Bad Boys" or "Good Guys"?

[SOHC 4]

~~ Which type makes the best Lovers?...Companions?...Husban ds? "Bad Boys" or "Good Guys"? Which type do you Ladies prefer, and your reasons. I am really curious!

[A R McGillvray aka Rudy]

Most women like honesty, clear direct eye contact, a friendly smile, and a little bit of the "bad boy".

Rudy

[franko]

A R McGillvray aka Rudy wrote:

Most women like honesty, clear direct eye contact, a friendly smile, and a little bit of the "bad boy".
Rudy

Some women are attracted to teh "bad boy" because of the more macho attitudes, or because they seem more exciting. SOme like the risk, others the challenge. Mostly younger women who haven't been burned by them yet.

More informed (read "expereinced") women realize that the best part of the "bad boy" is his confidence, his "I'm in control" attitude. This can be found in a "good guy" who is not a momma's boy or wimp, without the downside of many bad boys who basically just use women.

[Yada]

franko wrote:

<quoted text>
Some women are attracted to teh "bad boy" because of the more macho attitudes, or because they seem more exciting. SOme like the risk, others the challenge. Mostly younger women who haven't been burned by them yet.
More informed (read "expereinced") women realize that the best part of the "bad boy" is his confidence, his "I'm in control" attitude. This can be found in a "good guy" who is not a momma's boy or wimp, without the downside of many bad boys who basically just use women.

Well, spoken. I prefer the good myself. The bad ones are too self absorbed to love anybody from my experiences. Their confidence also is over inflated and not based on merit much of the time, I've seen.
A woman can share more and enjoy the good way better than the bad. And the best orgasms are found with the good, as far as I can tell.

[franko]

Yada wrote:

<quoted text>
Well, spoken. I prefer the good myself. The bad ones are too self absorbed to love anybody from my experiences. Their confidence also is over inflated and not based on merit much of the time, I've seen.
A woman can share more and enjoy the good way better than the bad. And the best orgasms are found with the good, as far as I can tell.

I agree -- they have an outward bravado that could fall apart like a house of cards if faced with anything that might cause them to have doubt.

Some women, I am afraid, can't get excited by the good guy ... this was my experince when I was in my ealry 20's. I liked these two girls (they were good friends with each other) and I hung out with them and kept hoping one of them would show some interest. They'd talk to me about the guys they were dating or had dated and how they were basically treated like dirt by them. ANd after they broke up with one, they'd quickly find another. Yet they kept saying they wanted a good guy who treated them well. But my shyness held me back from making a move.

If I was in that same positin today I'd have been more bold. I realize now that women either see you as a freind or boyfriend material. They usually don't turn a friend into a boyfriend... it's not pleasant having a crush on someone that doens;t notice you the way you want to be noticed.

Yada, how is your little project going for your freind? Many good ideas were offered. I can't really think of anything aelse to add to that. I think an event for him to share with his daughter would be great - how old is his daughter???

[Yada]

franko wrote:

<quoted text>
I agree -- they have an outward bravado that could fall apart like a house of cards if faced with anything that might cause them to have doubt.
Some women, I am afraid, can't get excited by the good guy ... this was my experince when I was in my ealry 20's. I liked these two girls (they were good friends with each other) and I hung out with them and kept hoping one of them would show some interest. They'd talk to me about the guys they were dating or had dated and how they were basically treated like dirt by them. ANd after they broke up with one, they'd quickly find another. Yet they kept saying they wanted a good guy who treated them well. But my shyness held me back from making a move.
If I was in that same positin today I'd have been more bold. I realize now that women either see you as a freind or boyfriend material. They usually don't turn a friend into a boyfriend... it's not pleasant having a crush on someone that doens;t notice you the way you want to be noticed.
Yada, how is your little project going for your freind? Many good ideas were offered. I can't really think of anything aelse to add to that. I think an event for him to share with his daughter would be great - how old is his daughter???

Hello Franko.'Tis a good thing you're now married huh? I would hate for you to suffer any further from shyness.
Maybe, they wired me up wrong but I don't see men as either boyfriend material or not. My very special Mel that died was first my friend and then became more. I liked him a whole lot but I didn't want to panic him by making the first move. Men can often become disconcerted by that, I've found. I like to respect a guy's manhood and so I let him make the first move. If I do it first, it seems to set a tone I don't like. I end up ruling him. I want equal partnership, not to be his ruler. He finally got courage to kiss me and it exploded from there.

I think what happens is that when a person lacks his own sense of self and self worth, he chooses the bad boy person precisely because he knows he will get the shoddy treatment he expects. He picks the bad boy person to avoid a more satisfying relationship because such scares him cold. He picks the bad boy person because 'tis easiest to do rather than face yourself and grow. He is not a victim of the bad boys. He is a coward. Sorry to sound so tough but 'tis the way i see it.

Thank you for thinking of my friend. That touches me so. You have some sweetness Franko, more special than gold and concupiscence, I think. I like your idea and so I'll get tickets for Cats for them. His little girl is only 6.

[franko]

Yada wrote:

<quoted text>
Hello Franko.'Tis a good thing you're now married huh? I would hate for you to suffer any further from shyness.
Maybe, they wired me up wrong but I don't see men as either boyfriend material or not. My very special Mel that died was first my friend and then became more. I liked him a whole lot but I didn't want to panic him by making the first move. Men can often become disconcerted by that, I've found. I like to respect a guy's manhood and so I let him make the first move. If I do it first, it seems to set a tone I don't like. I end up ruling him. I want equal partnership, not to be his ruler. He finally got courage to kiss me and it exploded from there.
I think what happens is that when a person lacks his own sense of self and self worth, he chooses the bad boy person precisely because he knows he will get the shoddy treatment he expects. He picks the bad boy person to avoid a more satisfying relationship because such scares him cold. He picks the bad boy person because 'tis easiest to do rather than face yourself and grow. He is not a victim of the bad boys. He is a coward. Sorry to sound so tough but 'tis the way i see it.
Thank you for thinking of my friend. That touches me so. You have some sweetness Franko, more special than gold and concupiscence, I think. I like your idea and so I'll get tickets for Cats for them. His little girl is only 6.

Well, two things ...

First, I am not so shy anymore. IT took a while but progressive successes, frequent failures with reflectoin to determine "what went wrong?", and getting into sales as a career made that shyness (translate "fear of rejection") gradually go away.

Second, I am not sure whre you got the idea I am still maried. That ended about 2 years ago. Although, I still need to be closely associated with her, because of the kids and other complicated circumstances (IF you have a violin you can play it now .... a la "bugs Bunny" when they tell a sad story)

SHe was injured in a car accident and due to her severe brain injury our relationship as husband and wife disappeared, replaced by a relationship as caretaker and dependant.

IT's much more compicated than that, but that's the gist of it.

[franko]

Yada wrote:

<quoted text>
Hello Franko.'Tis a good thing you're now married huh? I would hate for you to suffer any further from shyness.
Maybe, they wired me up wrong but I don't see men as either boyfriend material or not. My very special Mel that died was first my friend and then became more. I liked him a whole lot but I didn't want to panic him by making the first move. Men can often become disconcerted by that, I've found. I like to respect a guy's manhood and so I let him make the first move. If I do it first, it seems to set a tone I don't like. I end up ruling him. I want equal partnership, not to be his ruler. He finally got courage to kiss me and it exploded from there.
I think what happens is that when a person lacks his own sense of self and self worth, he chooses the bad boy person precisely because he knows he will get the shoddy treatment he expects. He picks the bad boy person to avoid a more satisfying relationship because such scares him cold. He picks the bad boy person because 'tis easiest to do rather than face yourself and grow. He is not a victim of the bad boys. He is a coward. Sorry to sound so tough but 'tis the way i see it.
Thank you for thinking of my friend. That touches me so. You have some sweetness Franko, more special than gold and concupiscence, I think. I like your idea and so I'll get tickets for Cats for them. His little girl is only 6.

BTW .. thanks for the compliments ... I'd like to return the same to you. Your writing is so interesting, with just a touch of poetry or shakespearan feel, or something along those lines.

And the reason why you have several admirers is that many men would like someone that is as you described above .. a woman who truly lives by the "equality" ideal without a double-standard attached, as too many poeple will do. And with a romantic Je ne Sais Quois as well ....

BTW - I looked up the word "concupiscence "" .... OMG!! It's a real word!!!

Did you , like, win spelling bees or something when you were younger?????

I just watched the movie "Akeela and the Bee" ... which is about that subject.

IF there is play that a 6 year old would like, I'm sure that CATS would be a strong possibilty.

WHen my kids were 6 they wanted me to take them to "GO BANANAS" and crawl through the tunnels and slides with them (believe me, after an hour of that, the knees are tender and the back is stiff ... I walk bent over for about an hour until the stiffness goes away). OR, if warmer climates, they pushed me to go on the waterslides with them .... hmmm - they still do that and they're 9 and 13 now .....

[Yada]

franko wrote:

<quoted text>
BTW .. thanks for the compliments ... I'd like to return the same to you. Your writing is so interesting, with just a touch of poetry or shakespearan feel, or something along those lines.
And the reason why you have several admirers is that many men would like someone that is as you described above .. a woman who truly lives by the "equality" ideal without a double-standard attached, as too many poeple will do. And with a romantic Je ne Sais Quois as well ....
BTW - I looked up the word "concupiscence "" .... OMG!! It's a real word!!!
Did you , like, win spelling bees or something when you were younger?????
I just watched the movie "Akeela and the Bee" ... which is about that subject.
IF there is play that a 6 year old would like, I'm sure that CATS would be a strong possibilty.
WHen my kids were 6 they wanted me to take them to "GO BANANAS" and crawl through the tunnels and slides with them (believe me, after an hour of that, the knees are tender and the back is stiff ... I walk bent over for about an hour until the stiffness goes away). OR, if warmer climates, they pushed me to go on the waterslides with them .... hmmm - they still do that and they're 9 and 13 now .....

Wonderful! You enjoy being a father. I have no je ne sais quois, or other fanciful thing. I've always been like this and sounded like this. My whole family is the same way.

[franko]

Yada wrote:

<quoted text>
Wonderful! You enjoy being a father. I have no je ne sais quois, or other fanciful thing. I've always been like this and sounded like this. My whole family is the same way.

Oh yes, you do have the "Je ne sais Quois" ... as I see it anyhow ... that is part of the mystery of it, the owner does not know they have it, and that is part of the charm.

WHen someone starts to do a certain thing consciously instead of subconsciously, then suddenly it loses it naturalness....

[Yada]

franko wrote:

<quoted text>
Oh yes, you do have the "Je ne sais Quois" ... as I see it anyhow ... that is part of the mystery of it, the owner does not know they have it, and that is part of the charm.
WHen someone starts to do a certain thing consciously instead of subconsciously, then suddenly it loses it naturalness....

really?

[Groucho AKA Falcon 68]

Yada wrote:

<quoted text>
really?

G'day Yada!

[Sweet Cheeks]

Good Morning Everyone!!

[Groucho AKA Falcon 68]

Sweet Cheeks wrote:

Good Morning Everyone!!

I believe you'd rather have a "good guy"...such as myself...

[Groucho AKA Falcon 68]

Sweet Cheeks wrote:

Good Morning Everyone!!

Good morning, my sweet! LOL!!

[Sweet Cheeks]

Groucho AKA Falcon 68 wrote:

<quoted text>I believe you'd rather have a "good guy"...such as myself...

Sounds like you can be a bad boy at times!!!:)

[Groucho AKA Falcon 68]

Sweet Cheeks wrote:

<quoted text>
Sounds like you can be a bad boy at times!!!:)

Oh, I can be...But I think you'd like my "bad boy" side...And I'm not a thuggish bad boy either!!

[SOHC 4]

~~ I am pleased that so many of the posters agree with me ... that "bad boys" are BAD NEWS! Here's how I see it ... Women should ask themselves these questions:..(1) Do I want a self-centered child in a man's body or an adult?..(2) Do I want a Macho-Bully "Control Freak" who ALWAYS has to have his way or a considerate companion who will be 50/50 about most matters?..(3) Do I want a guy who may or may not hold a job or a dependable breadwinner with a GOOD work ethic?..(4) Do I want a guy who might beat up on me and my kids or a decent man with morals - who won't hit me and will spank his kids ONLY when they deserve it?..(5) Do I want a guy who will go out "drinking with the boys" whenever he feels like it or a guy who will come home after work and spend quality time with me?..(6) If I marry this guy, do I want an egotist who LOVES himself and thinks "I am the MAN and I make the decisions in this family!" ..or a mature, considerate, loving Life-Partner who WILL make compromises?~~~~~~~~ Women who THINK they want a Bad Boy should also watch Maury Povich or Jerry Springer, before they decide.

[Sweet Cheeks]

Groucho AKA Falcon 68 wrote:

<quoted text>Oh, I can be...But I think you'd like my "bad boy" side...And I'm not a thuggish bad boy either!!

Yep just as much as you like my bad girl side!! LOL :)

[franko]

Yada wrote:

<quoted text>
really?

Maybe others don't see it that way. Maybe it's just me (or a select few .. such as your on-line admirers)... who knows. DIfferent strokes for differnt folks, right?