Why can't my girlfriend get me off?

[Mike]

Ok this might be long but please read because I need to know whats wrong. I'm 21 and I just started having very frequent sex. Ive been with other girls and been inside of them and it was without a condom and it was very brief because it hurt me, why did it hurt u ask? Because I'm not circumcised. Anyways I wear a condom with the current girl im having sex with and I had sex with her for 45 minutes the 1st time and about 20 mins the 2nd time and I didnt cum. Both times afterwards she gave me a hand job for a long time and still didnt cum. I dont know what to do i feel like its upsetting her...I know i can cum because i do when i masturbate. Is it because im wearing a condom? Uncircumcised? Or just that im not thinking right when im having sex? Somebody please help

[bifocals and wrinkles]

I dated a guy for EIGHT years and he never came.
NEVER!!!!!

[Julie C]

Maybe you're thinking too hard and worrying too much about not being able to climax during sex. Have you ever thought of just sitting (or laying :P) down with your girlfriend and walking her through, step by step doing things to you that make you feel good? She's probably somewhat worried that you didn't come during sex either, especially if you're still new to the game. Start out by getting her to give you a hand job and saying things like "I like it when you grab it with your whole hand" or "I like it when you do a couple of hard strokes, then a couple of slower strokes" and then using the same tactic, go all the way into sex. Try different positions, relax more during sex, and be open with her about what feels good and what doesn't. Did she climax during sex? She's probably just as nervous or worried as you are if she didn't. If you're uncircumsized and having trouble with condoms, try pulling your foreskin all the way back when you put it on and make sure to leave extra space at the top. Also, you might need a bigger size if they're too tight around the ring. That could act like a cockring and make it really hard for you to climax. My boyfriend had that trouble at one time.

Hope that helps.

[I-Know-Who-You-A re]

Stop masturbating so much! you are used to how it feels when you do it. If it hurts when you stick it in, being uncircumcized has nothing to do with that. You need to use some lube! Instead, you two need to do some foreplay. That is really important, it gets both of you in the mood, also gets her and you wet (precum) so it should slide right in. Use a condom if you don't want her prego or get her on the pill.

Don't let her give you a hand job right off. Most women don't know how to "handle it" you're used to your own hand. So she needs to learn how to do it right. The best way for her to learn is by watching pornstars do it. I'm serious! she needs to learn the right way, she's young and dumb when it comes to making you cum. A good website for videos is spankwire.com ...do a search for "handjob" there's some good things she can learn from them, as well as giving head. Be sure she uses and edible lube if she's gonna be giving head along with a handjob. Don't use chocolate syrup or honey, it can get messy, unless you're doing it in the shower and don't mind the "mixed flavors" It might scar her taste buds and will never be able to eat honey or chocolate syrup again! haha!

As far as lubes go, you can go the cheap route and get some clear Aloe Vera gel, the kind WITHOUT alcohol. It will dry up a little but add a splash of water to your schlong and it will be sliding again. OR you can spend a little extra and get a silicon based lube, like ID Lube or Astroglide. There are usually two kinds, silicon based (lasts longer, doesn't dry up) and water based (dries up but cleans up easy) which is basically glycerin and/or aloe.

You need to give her pointers as to what she need to do to make it feel right. Just relax and get in the mood! Don't forget foreplay!!!

btw, get on YouTube and do a search for "handjob protest" it's a funny song!

[Mike]

yaeh being uncircumcised sucks...i mean my parents didnt touch me at all when i was born so i mean my head doesnt come out all the way and when the skin gets pulled it hurts alot...they left me uncircumcised becuz when they ditd it to my brother he was in pain they said..how gay is that

[Gimenez]

I am uncircumcised and at the beginning it was a little hard, after a while you get used to it and doesn't hurt any more (Unless you have more than 1 time sex in a close period of time.) About cumming, well, since this girl you recently began having sex with her, it's going to take some time for you to come quicker or cumming period... That's because you are not really into her yet, you are just "having sex." As time passes on you will see that you will come quicker and quicker because slowly you start getting used to her... It weird in a way it should be backwards but it's how it happens. About masturbation... you come fast with masturbation because you are used to the feeling... I masturbate and can come quick as well as have sex and come quick because I am used to both... If I was to have sex with another girl it would take me back... Same thing if you masturbate infront of your girl or she masturbates you, it will be hard for you to come, again because you are not used to it. Also condoms give you a little extra time for you to come... But believe me, when you get used to it, it will happen quicker and quicker each time.

[I-Know-Who-You-A re]

Mike wrote:

yaeh my head doesnt come out all the way and when the skin gets pulled it hurts alot...

Mike in case you don't know already you have what is called Phimosis. It is not normal with being uncircumcised. There are treatments you can do, basically stretching the opening for periods of time so your head can come out. Get that taken care of. The inner foreskin is a sensitive area below the head that you are missing out on with sex. Get that taken care of!!

[Gee]

He must be gay. See if a man can get him off.

bifocals and wrinkles wrote:

I dated a guy for EIGHT years and he never came.
NEVER!!!!!

[lebanese guy]

do lot of foreplay than penetrate her so u will come

[Empathetic]

I've had the same thing happen to me in the past year. I'm uncircumcised too, not that I think that has anything to do with it. The strangest part was that I was ejaculating just fine for the first few month of our relationship.

I believe it to be a mix of over-masturbation and just over thinking it. Once I got stuck in that rut it was hard not to let my frustration aggravate the situation. It didn't help that my girlfriend was quite obviously frustrated as well. Anything stressing you out, not necessarily in the relationship?

The good news is with a little willpower and some communication with your partner, it can all sort itself out. Look her in the eyes, connect with your entire being and not just your cock. concentrate on the both of you sharing that experience and keep your mind off the finish line. Worked for me!

[anonguest]

@above: thanks, that actually helps me. I'm having a similar problem but with my girlfriend of 6 months giving me a hand job, i give of buckets of precum but never actually cum, and i dont think it really bothers her much but it bothers me a ton. I am circumsised btw, lol.
Anyway, thanks again guys and gals, you actually helped a random person.

[Paul]

well me and my wife have been married for 20 years and here latley I have got to where I can cum we have great sex an I enjoy it but I just can't get a nut I have the feeling of cumming but then it gets to the top and I lose it we had sex yesterday for over a hour we had foreplay ( the only thing that I enjoy is her going down on me but she want anymore but thats ok) and everything but I just could not cum so what do ya'll think HELP

[tirduckin]

as a teenager my biggest fear of sex was cumming to quick but now that i am actually having sex my problem is it takes forever. im hoping just a change of mind before and during sex will help. but any help would be appreciated.

[Fedex]

Do guys go up and down during sex? Erections I mean?

[Gary]

Hey, I'm 18 and just got my first girlfriend. I get a boner very easy and am very attracted to her but she cant get me off with a handjob. If i stopped jacking off myself would that help? I figured she cant just because I'm used to myself doing it... and am worried even in sex I wont be able to cum. What should i do?

[kerrrrzsdjdjueia s]

ye the first time I gave a boy a hand I was 14 and it was on his couch....it took him foreverrrrrrr to cum (an hour) and just as he began to fun...his mom walked in and Screamed at both of us told my parents and my parents made me take a pregnancy test...a week later we acctually had sex in his house again and his mom walked in just as we were finished...then she told my parents again...it was embarrising

[common sense]

kerrrrzsdjdjueias wrote:

ye the first time I gave a boy a hand I was 14 and it was on his couch....it took him foreverrrrrrr to cum (an hour) and just as he began to fun...his mom walked in and Screamed at both of us told my parents and my parents made me take a pregnancy test...a week later we acctually had sex in his house again and his mom walked in just as we were finished...then she told my parents again...it was embarrising

maybe you should stop doing it on the living room couch and make sure no one will be home for a while. it makes things a lot easier.

[shutup1400]

"If i stopped jacking off myself would that help? I figured she cant just because I'm used to myself doing it..." so would this help?

[Simphiwe]

Um listen up...its all in the head masturbation is not problem!!!the problem is in your head as you are stressing too much!!so I suggest before you enter in the room or wherever you are having sex from...Clear your mind away from problems and issues and concentrate on the fun and pleasure trust me you'll cum and enjoy...but I prefer that later as it irritates a lot when it comes to satisfying a women...but again its all in the head guys!!!

[T r u t h]

bifocals and wrinkles wrote:

I dated a guy for EIGHT years and he never came.
NEVER!!!!!

if that's the case,you suck at sex. and life