How Infidelity Affects the Kids

May 29, 2011 Full story: TheDailyBeast.com 7

Alizah Salario is a freelance journalist based in New York. Her work has appeared in Women's eNews, Ms.

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Since: Jan 08

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#1 May 29, 2011
If it constitutes ADULTERY;then it is against The Commandment of God.Period.The children of parents who cheat,WILL become the same as their parents?

Since: Oct 10

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#2 May 30, 2011
STEPHMAR wrote:
If it constitutes ADULTERY;then it is against The Commandment of God.Period.The children of parents who cheat,WILL become the same as their parents?
STEPHMAR, I assume that you are a Christian, may be a fundamentalist. Either way, OT adultery was about stealing another's wife not about the sexual act. The concern in the OT was about property which women were, property of men. Not about sex. Marriage is not even a word in ancient Hebrew. Nor is wife a word in ancient Hebrew. ONLY MODERN TRANSLATIONS OF THE BIBLE USE WIFE AND MARRIGE. If you pay close attention to the Commandments(seven in Leviticus)the commandments are mostly about coveting your neighbor's ...

Your probably mostly rite regarding children becoming like their parents. Ever notice how some women fall into battered relationships over and over again?

Since: May 11

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#3 May 30, 2011
alternative wrote:
<quoted text>
STEPHMAR, I assume that you are a Christian, may be a fundamentalist. Either way, OT adultery was about stealing another's wife not about the sexual act. The concern in the OT was about property which women were, property of men. Not about sex. Marriage is not even a word in ancient Hebrew. Nor is wife a word in ancient Hebrew. ONLY MODERN TRANSLATIONS OF THE BIBLE USE WIFE AND MARRIGE. If you pay close attention to the Commandments(seven in Leviticus)the commandments are mostly about coveting your neighbor's ...
Your probably mostly rite regarding children becoming like their parents. Ever notice how some women fall into battered relationships over and over again?
Wow breathtaking. I love to learn something new..

Your right about woman and battered relationships. My boyfriends little sister (he has 3 sis no bro) was the youngest and most affectef by her parents infidelity and divorce. Now for the loss of her father that male figure in her life she has repeatedly been in harmful relationships involving abuse and drugs and is now currenly addicted to heroin stealing everythibg she could get her hands on just to appease her dominant prick boyfriend.. If affected my boyfriend because he is 28 and never had that father to take him fishing work on cars do the father son stuff... Now he feels aweful about himself that hes never learned them things when in reality its the divorce and the not attentive father who ran off with his mistress. His two older sisters wernt really affected due to age... Also I myself grew up in a how full of infidelity abuse (never to me but my parents beat eachother) drugs and alcohol. And thats resulted in me having no contact with my parents n im alone in the cruel world. Ahh infidelity ruins childhood.

Since: Oct 10

Location hidden

#4 May 31, 2011
Prettiladii wrote:
<quoted text>
Wow breathtaking. I love to learn something new..
Your right about woman and battered relationships. My boyfriends little sister (he has 3 sis no bro) was the youngest and most affectef by her parents infidelity and divorce. Now for the loss of her father that male figure in her life she has repeatedly been in harmful relationships involving abuse and drugs and is now currenly addicted to heroin stealing everythibg she could get her hands on just to appease her dominant prick boyfriend.. If affected my boyfriend because he is 28 and never had that father to take him fishing work on cars do the father son stuff... Now he feels aweful about himself that hes never learned them things when in reality its the divorce and the not attentive father who ran off with his mistress. His two older sisters wernt really affected due to age... Also I myself grew up in a how full of infidelity abuse (never to me but my parents beat eachother) drugs and alcohol. And thats resulted in me having no contact with my parents n im alone in the cruel world. Ahh infidelity ruins childhood.
Prettiladii, Hi, sorry for all that went wrong in your life. Seems as if infidelity is not the real issue here. Drugs and alcohol seem to be a greater part of the blame. Yes, there was infidelity. Yes there was a divorce. The abuse certainly was a major part of this too. So many aspects of this relationship were wrong. But to blame this on infidelity is to support a lie. Or, was the infidelity the blame for the alcohol and drugs, for the abuse? What is your impression? I'm willing to bet that it was the alcohol and drugs.

What I'd referred to was battered woman's syndrome. Women that enter into relationship after relationship that batters them. This is not a result of infidelity, nor drugs or alcohol although, the addiction may follow.

I hope things get better for you.

Since: Feb 11

copenhagen Denmark

#5 May 31, 2011
it is not only Infidelity there effect oure kids... everything we do effect them some how ... we teach oure kids how to treat us and how we accept other to treat us... if a child grows up watching his or her parent cheat over and over.. then they learn it's okay and that mother or father accept that behavior..the same goes for domestic violence.. boys learn that it is okay for dad to hit mom ( or the other way around) and girls learn to accept violence behavior..

if mom showes dad the door the first time it happens, then they have learn that that behavior is not okay...

in case of infidelity there is more to it.. the kids do not always have to know, sometimes a couple can work through it .. and no one will ever know it happend ...

Since: Oct 10

Location hidden

#6 May 31, 2011
sub girl wrote:
it is not only Infidelity there effect oure kids... everything we do effect them some how ... we teach oure kids how to treat us and how we accept other to treat us... if a child grows up watching his or her parent cheat over and over.. then they learn it's okay and that mother or father accept that behavior..the same goes for domestic violence.. boys learn that it is okay for dad to hit mom ( or the other way around) and girls learn to accept violence behavior..
if mom showes dad the door the first time it happens, then they have learn that that behavior is not okay...
in case of infidelity there is more to it.. the kids do not always have to know, sometimes a couple can work through it .. and no one will ever know it happend ...
sub girl, your comments are all true. The point that you make is that kids learn from their parents. Sometimes it is peer pressure that they learn from. But the point is that it is learned behavior.

Be careful to lump all associations to infidelity, cheating to be too general. Open marriages would not fit such generalizations. Everything we do has a consequence and a responsibility. And everything has a right and a wrong side too. What makes something wrong has to do with what is called morality. Morality is how we treat others, care for others. It leads towards what is ethical. Neither of which can be seen as wrong unless it does harm, physical or mental harm.

My wife does not cheat on me when she has extra-marital sex with other men. I know she is doing someone else and I hear about it from her. I often know the men. There is no deceit nor abuse. What we have is consensual. There is no cheating. I have never been with another woman. My wife is special to me and I love her for who she is. I'd never want to change her. If I did, I'd lose sight of the woman I love.
Tayla Lynn

Sumner, WA

#7 Apr 4, 2013
STEPHMAR wrote:
If it constitutes ADULTERY;then it is against The Commandment of God.Period.The children of parents who cheat,WILL become the same as their parents?
Thats so STUPID... if your gods going to judge them cant he forgive them also. And a parents sin isnt their childs sin!!!!

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