Wife got bossy and cut off sex, what's up?

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TexHusband

United States

#1 Sep 16, 2008
We have been married 12 years in a conventional relationship. Several months ago my wife started giving me orders to do housework, serve her like a maid/butler and now she has taken over the finances. She cut off sex to about once a month. I admit that I find it sexually stimulating and I have gone along with the program, but what is happening?

Since: Sep 08

Pleasant Hill, Ca

#2 Sep 16, 2008
TexHusband wrote:
We have been married 12 years in a conventional relationship. Several months ago my wife started giving me orders to do housework, serve her like a maid/butler and now she has taken over the finances. She cut off sex to about once a month. I admit that I find it sexually stimulating and I have gone along with the program, but what is happening?
What is happening is she has figured out that she is the Dom and that you will be submissive to her. It is stimulating but you have to make sure that is what you want. You cant take the top back once you have given it to her!

“Walking Attitude”

Since: Aug 07

The Q continuum

#3 Sep 16, 2008
In other words, she's saying: "SUBMIT YOU LITTLE WORM"!!!!!!!!!

Since: Sep 08

Pleasant Hill, Ca

#4 Sep 16, 2008
Queue wrote:
In other words, she's saying: "SUBMIT YOU LITTLE WORM"!!!!!!!!!
haha yeah she is

Since: Aug 07

Orange, CA

#5 Sep 16, 2008
Unless you are into this type of lifestyle you are going to be in for a miserable experience.

A way out is simply putting it she isn't the only piece of ass out there she wants to play hard ball play hard ball take back your fiances tell her she wants a slave go buy one you'll get your kicks somewhere else. There are plenty of lonely women out there that would love to entertain a fustrated guy.

If you pay the mortgage stop and let her pay it if she pays the mortgage than get an apartment and tell her to F**k off and die.

I'm not anti women but when a gal forces this issue onto a guy and I've had it done and wasn't into the sub dom lifestyle. The bimbo thought she could "control" me by dishing out sex on her sechedule. Well I got a right had porn and a good imagination as well as I hooked up with some long lost lady friends.

I got real pathetic she would try and pull some do the house work fix my car or no sex I'm like fine. She would threaten to not cook dinner go grocery shopping laundry. So I took over doing that. Having been in the service I learned long ago it is best not to become dependant on anyone for anything and that anything above basic survival needs is a luxury. and left her out to dry she had no bargining chips so when push came to shove she and her kids got shoved out the door.

She went as far as to plan a very nice erotic evening to try and "patch" things up when she realized her little squeam backfired. I got wind of it and let her plan and set it up. Than at the appointed time showed up with a "lady friend" and my lady friend and I had a wonderful evening. The bimbo spent the evening in "our" room crying or something. When it came time to be intimate I asked the bimbo if she would kindly take her tears and act onto the couch for the evening.

See thats the thing the bimbo started to listen to her f**ked up friends who must have convinced her that she had all the "power" and that somehow I should be beholden to her for her allowing me in her life. Well I guess that wasn't quite true.

Since: Aug 07

Orange, CA

#6 Sep 16, 2008
When women start to use sex as a mean of manipulation instead as an expression of love, it is time to either live with it and be pussy whipped or take care of business and either find out what the problem is or extracate yourself from the situation so there won't be any damage done.

Now I know from my above posts that there may be plenty of women who will say that I'm an ass, well to them all I have to say is you weren't there working nights and another part time job to pay all the bills and fiance her kids. You weren't there when the bimbo decided to quit her job because she thought it was my job to keep her in the money. You weren't there when I cracked two vertebra in my back and the bimbo wouldn't lift one hand to assist me in recovery at home, and you certainly weren't there when I did come home early from work with the flu only to find her f**kin my friend

Since: Aug 08

United States

#8 Sep 16, 2008
You sir are now officially "P*ssy whipped."

If that is what you want fine, but if it were me, I'd draw the line. It should be 50/50 in a long term relationship.
TexHusband

United States

#9 Sep 17, 2008
angeleyez wrote:
<quoted text>
What is happening is she has figured out that she is the Dom and that you will be submissive to her. It is stimulating but you have to make sure that is what you want. You cant take the top back once you have given it to her!
I never really thought of it in terms of Dom and submissive, but you may be right. She has gone about the change in steps and kept me sexually excited along the way so I have agreed to everything she demanded. She gets me all worked up sexually then demands that I do more. The crazy thing is that I do whatever she wants.

Like Queue said "she's saying: "SUBMIT YOU LITTLE WORM"!!!!!!!!! ", but again I never thought of it terms of submission. I guess I'm just naive.

Stickman says get out of the relationship, but I don't think I want out. Besides that, she has already moved all the money to her account so I don't have any. She had me direct deposit my check into her account so I never see money unless she gives it to me.

The more I write about this, the more it sounds like I'm in pretty deep already! So where does it go from here? Do you think we have gone as far as she wants to take it?

Thanks for the help.
Join Free

Since: Mar 08

Location hidden

#10 Sep 17, 2008
TexHusband wrote:
<quoted text>
I never really thought of it in terms of Dom and submissive, but you may be right. She has gone about the change in steps and kept me sexually excited along the way so I have agreed to everything she demanded. She gets me all worked up sexually then demands that I do more. The crazy thing is that I do whatever she wants.
Like Queue said "she's saying: "SUBMIT YOU LITTLE WORM"!!!!!!!!! ", but again I never thought of it terms of submission. I guess I'm just naive.
Stickman says get out of the relationship, but I don't think I want out. Besides that, she has already moved all the money to her account so I don't have any. She had me direct deposit my check into her account so I never see money unless she gives it to me.
The more I write about this, the more it sounds like I'm in pretty deep already! So where does it go from here? Do you think we have gone as far as she wants to take it?
Thanks for the help.
LMAO....if she already has you direct deposit your check into her account, then yes you are in deep now. She's probably planning on leaving you as soon as you stop satisfying her sexually. But don't think you can't stop all of that. Just change your direct deposit back to your account and start taking control!!

Good luck!

Since: Aug 07

Orange, CA

#11 Sep 17, 2008
TexHusband wrote:
<quoted text>
I never really thought of it in terms of Dom and submissive, but you may be right. She has gone about the change in steps and kept me sexually excited along the way so I have agreed to everything she demanded. She gets me all worked up sexually then demands that I do more. The crazy thing is that I do whatever she wants.
Like Queue said "she's saying: "SUBMIT YOU LITTLE WORM"!!!!!!!!! ", but again I never thought of it terms of submission. I guess I'm just naive.
Stickman says get out of the relationship, but I don't think I want out. Besides that, she has already moved all the money to her account so I don't have any. She had me direct deposit my check into her account so I never see money unless she gives it to me.
The more I write about this, the more it sounds like I'm in pretty deep already! So where does it go from here? Do you think we have gone as far as she wants to take it?
Thanks for the help.
So's she moved all the money out and left you with nothing you fell for the power of the pussy. Stop your direct deposit and when she gets all pissed off about it tell her there are some demands of yours she must meet. You get all excited and such than she makes demands well start satisfying yourself and start saying "NO" First thing though dude is go to your work go to payroll and Stop the direct deposit or set up another account and start putting your money there.
If she gets pissed tough shit. Thats how you take back control of your life dude right now you have no control. Let me guess if you come home late she demands an account of all your time right. When she gives you money does she want reciepts to know what your spending it on. And for god sakes if she wants cock control, where you have to wear a chasity device on your cock so you can jack off tell her to go f**k herself. It sounds like your little wifey is going beyond just games and she wants total and complete control of you. We should just start calling you "slave boy" because your 3/4 of the way there all ready.
Also if she has all the money in her accounts you can exact so revenge. I can assume the checking acccount is no longer a joint account so you can start bouncing some checks she gets held liable and now you can start getting some control back bounce checks she complains say well humm if I had my paycheck in my account things may change. The reason she took your money is to put you in the situation your in and you already said it She's got your money and you couldn't leave even if you wanted too.
TexHusband

United States

#13 Sep 17, 2008
stickman9436 wrote:
<quoted text>So's she moved all the money out and left you with nothing you fell for the power of the pussy. Stop your direct deposit and when she gets all pissed off about it tell her there are some demands of yours she must meet. You get all excited and such than she makes demands well start satisfying yourself and start saying "NO" First thing though dude is go to your work go to payroll and Stop the direct deposit or set up another account and start putting your money there.
If she gets pissed tough shit. Thats how you take back control of your life dude right now you have no control. Let me guess if you come home late she demands an account of all your time right. When she gives you money does she want reciepts to know what your spending it on. And for god sakes if she wants cock control, where you have to wear a chasity device on your cock so you can jack off tell her to go f**k herself. It sounds like your little wifey is going beyond just games and she wants total and complete control of you. We should just start calling you "slave boy" because your 3/4 of the way there all ready.
Also if she has all the money in her accounts you can exact so revenge. I can assume the checking acccount is no longer a joint account so you can start bouncing some checks she gets held liable and now you can start getting some control back bounce checks she complains say well humm if I had my paycheck in my account things may change. The reason she took your money is to put you in the situation your in and you already said it She's got your money and you couldn't leave even if you wanted too.
I think you're right about her taking it beyond games. She controls my time and money very closely and she gives me a list of chores to do every day. I now do almost all of the housework.

I know it may sound like a miserble life, but she keeps me so jacked up sexually that I can't say no. She teases me a lot and gives me almost no relief so I agree to anything she wants.

You said I'm 3/4 of the way there. I can live with where I am now, but I don't know what comes next. Silly-Nena said my wife is probably planning on leaving me when the sex runs out, but my wife decides what and when so she should stay satisfied. She has me service her orally almost every night so she gets plenty. It is me that gets almost none (it's been over a month for me).

With my pay check, she lives a good life style so I don't think she has any incentive to leave.

I know you say that I should take control, but it's not that easy. I have 12 years invested and I still love her. I can live with what I have now. Do you think she will want to take more or is she likely to be satisfied with what she has?

Since: Sep 08

Pleasant Hill, Ca

#14 Sep 17, 2008
TexHusband wrote:
<quoted text>
I never really thought of it in terms of Dom and submissive, but you may be right. She has gone about the change in steps and kept me sexually excited along the way so I have agreed to everything she demanded. She gets me all worked up sexually then demands that I do more. The crazy thing is that I do whatever she wants.
Like Queue said "she's saying: "SUBMIT YOU LITTLE WORM"!!!!!!!!! ", but again I never thought of it terms of submission. I guess I'm just naive.
Stickman says get out of the relationship, but I don't think I want out. Besides that, she has already moved all the money to her account so I don't have any. She had me direct deposit my check into her account so I never see money unless she gives it to me.
The more I write about this, the more it sounds like I'm in pretty deep already! So where does it go from here? Do you think we have gone as far as she wants to take it?
Thanks for the help.
You need to have your check put into your account an ddraw a line with her.. you give her the rules... if she doesnt like them she will have to go find a man that will be under her control like she wants, or she will surrender and give you back your manhood! you have to make your decision soon before she completely screws you though.

Since: Aug 07

Orange, CA

#15 Sep 17, 2008
TexHusband wrote:
<quoted text>
I think you're right about her taking it beyond games. She controls my time and money very closely and she gives me a list of chores to do every day. I now do almost all of the housework.
I know it may sound like a miserble life, but she keeps me so jacked up sexually that I can't say no. She teases me a lot and gives me almost no relief so I agree to anything she wants.
You said I'm 3/4 of the way there. I can live with where I am now, but I don't know what comes next. Silly-Nena said my wife is probably planning on leaving me when the sex runs out, but my wife decides what and when so she should stay satisfied. She has me service her orally almost every night so she gets plenty. It is me that gets almost none (it's been over a month for me).
With my pay check, she lives a good life style so I don't think she has any incentive to leave.
I know you say that I should take control, but it's not that easy. I have 12 years invested and I still love her. I can live with what I have now. Do you think she will want to take more or is she likely to be satisfied with what she has?
There is an old adage my friend that goes and I'll paraphrase "you give and inch, they will take a mile". You've given the inch and she keeps taking more. Soon my friend you will run out of giving.
I totally understand about the 12 yrs invested in the marriage. You are right it is a lot of time. Honestly though do you think she still Loves you though. You are, and this is from my point of view and I mean no disrespect to you, but you are nothing more than an ATM machine and a toy. She will keep taking from you until there is nothing left to take. What do you get out of this arrangement other that sexual stimulation with no release for you? She is manipulating you. She keeps you "so jacked up sexually" that eventually will get old. You will get tired of having to service her but getting no relief yourself. Can you even jack off or does she have that much control over you, that you can not even pleasure yourself? Did she even ask your permission before forcing this lifestyle onto you? Did she just decide for you that this is going to be your lifestyle because this is what she wants? Does she even care about your feelings and how you precieve these games she is playing? Your doing almost all of the house work along with your full time job, what is she contributing? Does she work? Are you being ripped off? She has control over your money do you have free access to your money as well or do you have to go through her to get money? Did she take your ATM card or check book?

Since: Aug 07

Orange, CA

#16 Sep 17, 2008
You better check on your financial status. You better hope she didn't take your name off the account and list her as the sole owner of the accounts Is the house in both your names or yours or hers?
If she starts demanding that you start signing documents like power of attorney or pink slips to cars etc you'd better get and attorney because now its starting to turn into mental and emotional abuse as well as possibly extortation.
For god sake don't let her take picture of you in compromising positions. Does she make you wear a dog color or any other sort of control device
What ever you do don't fall for the if you love me you'll wear a male chasity device. If you don't know what that is google it. Does she refer to your penis as her cock and her cock only?
Answer me this you are posting here obviously, does she know that your posting and what you are posting, or do you have to sneak around or do it at work so she won't know?
Has she checked all the contacts on your cell phone as well as all the calls you've made and recieved?
What about your friends or did she cut off access to them too? Can you go out alone with out her? Have guys night out. What if one of your friends comes over does she force you to be submissive and humiliate you in front of them.
What about her friends? Does she force you to be subservant to them? Do you have to perform for them? She give you commands you must obey them in front of her friends? Do they laugh at and humiliate you as a form of entertainment for themselves?
Has she demanded the passwords to your online stuff so she can monitor your e-mail and sites you have visited? If she hasn't she will believe me she is probably going for total and complete control of your life. You said you don't know whats next, well look at the many questions I've asked thats whats coming. She'll want physical control of your cock, she want to be able to determine when and where and for how long you have access to your own penis. If she isn't happy you won't even have access to YOUR penis.
She already has all your money and is controling your physical activities and time with making you do all the chores.

Has she forced you to do something against your will? Like service her when you didn't want to or do some chore that you didn't want too? Other than using sex, has she used the threat of violence to get you to do something you weren't inclined to do or you didn't want to do? Remember if you say NO to something thats what it should mean. If she corerces you into something after you've said NO or forces you against your will it is a crime? I hope that isn't going on.

Try a little expermint if you dare, come home late I mean really late, and watch her reaction. When she asked where have you been and what have you been doing and who was with you etc, cause she will, she needs to know this, tell her it really isn't any of her business. She will come unglued.
Has she physically assulted you? Hit you in anyway? If she has dude you need to leave right away because now it has gone way past a "game" or a "lifesyle" that his force upon you against your will. This is starting to sound like a form of kidnapping and abuse. It sounds like it has ventured into mental and emotional abuse already.
Lifes short my friend you shouldn't have "just live with" something in your life. I don't know what may have caused your wife to think this is the lifestyle that you want or what started her towards this point but it isn't going to get any better for you. The chances of things deteriorating seem highly likely. When she has you staying in a cage under the table, its to late.
TexHusband

United States

#17 Sep 18, 2008
Thanks for the feedback. I recognize some things in your list of questions that have already happened. Such as:(1) I'm not allowed to relieve myself sexually; (2) She doesn't work; (3) I have no access to money or credit cards, she gives me what I need; (4) The bank account no longer has my name on it; (5) She has already taken some pictures that I wouldn't want published; (6) So far there are no control devices; (7) I don't have access to the computer at home, I write this at work (and no she doesn't know about it); (8) I can't go out alone and I'm not allowed to have visitors; (9) She has never used violence.

She has three sisters who live nearby and they visit almost daily. Our house is there hangout. She makes me serve them food and drinks then wash the dishes while they talk. I serve them wine afterward, but I'm not allowed to join. I have to wait in the kitchen until one of them calls for service. You mentioned devices. She makes me wear an apron while her sisters are there. Does that count as a device?

One of her sisters doesn't have a husband and I have to do chores at her house. I mow the grass, put up ceiling fans and stuff like that. When we go there "just to visit", she makes me do things like vacuum the floors and clean the bathrooms.

Recently when her sisters visit, she has made me file my fingernails in a more feminine shape and wear clear nail polish. Her sisters have commented on how pretty my nails are. This past weekend while they were here, she made me wear some of her perfume. Her sisters really enjoyed that.

I could never try the experiment you suggested. I don't know what would happen, but I don't want to know. As it is, I only get sexual relief about once a month (she spreads her legs and lays there motionless while I relieve myself). She would certainly cut me off completely if I came home late and I would have so many chores that I would never finish.

You sound like you have a lot of knowledge on this subject. Is it possible for someone like me to just accept this lifestyle? I know it may sound like I'm complaining, but I can live with what I have right now. She never asked me about going into this, but she seems to know what she wants. I've noticed over the years that her sisters' husbands have always seemed "p*ussy whipped" and I thought it was odd, but it seems that she has decided to take me there and beyond. I don't get the impression that it will be violent or that she will leave me, but it does seem the control and embarrassment in front of her sisters may increase.
Franko

Port Coquitlam, Canada

#18 Sep 18, 2008
TexHusband wrote:
We have been married 12 years in a conventional relationship. Several months ago my wife started giving me orders to do housework, serve her like a maid/butler and now she has taken over the finances. She cut off sex to about once a month. I admit that I find it sexually stimulating and I have gone along with the program, but what is happening?
Having perused this thread I would say your wife is about to screw you out of everything you have built over the term of your maraige ...

It sounds like she is one of those women who may live up to the worst image of women that QUEUE can present ...

SHe took your name off the bank accounts? Unbelievable!!!

My advice to you ... get a lawyer, find out how you can get access to half of ALL your savings and put them in some secret place she does not know about and do it without her knowing ... have all this documented as proof .. and see if you can keep possesion of the house and boot her out, change the locks ... eventuallly you wil have to work out the 50/50 of assets once you divorce ... she has already taken the first steps in her favour and it looks like she is out to get 100% for herself ...

I mean it ... this is what she is about to do to you, I am sure of it.
denni

United States

#19 Oct 1, 2008
There are women like the one you described. I am owned by one and it all started about like you described. My Mrs has owned me for nearly six years and it has been real rough at times. Mrs mother & sister know of the status of our marriage and borrow me for different things like seasonak housecleaning, prepare special entertaining for them, etc.. I did not surrender without a struggle, her plan and execution was too much for me. I advise you to run and keep running until you are free of her
Franko

Port Coquitlam, Canada

#21 Oct 2, 2008
TropicaLove_CHiCKA wrote:
<quoted text>
Once a month? You poor thing! There's gotta be something wrong there.I don't even wanna say it...
say it anyways ... quiet a lot was already said by others, and this is the Human Sexuality forum. This is the ONE forum in TOPIX where yuo can say pretty much anything and not have it deleted by TOPIX ...

BTW .. I have read some of your other posts and I like some of your opinions and attitudes ...
Soapie Tucker

United States

#23 Oct 2, 2008
Why have sex? masterbating is the way to go.
confucius714

Downey, CA

#24 Oct 2, 2008
I don't mean to be rude, but go see a divorce attorney right away. Texas has great laws for husbands against gold digging bitches.

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