A dreary outlook, young lady, but justified, I'm sure. Who am I to say!? So here's the rub - we all have a past, we all have good memories and bad ones. Some of us have had to deal with the sticky end of the lollipop and others have not had to as much. At some point, using whatever helps pull you up by the bootstraps (music, love, candy), we realize that we are on our own and that we are ultimately responsible for how we are.<quoted text>
Upsetting huh? People are ruined by force. But the man (woman in my case) doesn't give a hoot!! We are their minions and we have to do what they say or we have done something wrong and have to be punished!! But, just live life like the beat of the music. You'll be okay.
You seem to have a lot of insight and that's a real advantage. There's a lot of hope for you!