Is Masterbating to porn while you wife is sleeping cheeting?

Posted in the Human Sexuality Forum

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Raven

Lusby, MD

#1 Apr 22, 2008
My husband and I argue and have continuous fights over his addiction to porn and masterbation.
Most couples slow down with sex after several years of marriage, especially with work, kids, bills & stress with so little time for more then sleep. However, this is not the case for us, sex is an avid "sport" that varies between 2-3 times a day on his days off to at least once a day on working days.
Yet still, he waits until I go to bed (or try coaxing him to bed @ 2:00 am) to open a websight of porn and masterbate.
I question his enjoyment of sex with me, and often wonder if I've become unapealing or dull.
I try not to dwell, but it's bothersome that to know your husband prefers sex with everyone else.
To settle this once and for all, and please guys set me straight if I'm in the wrong,
Is it "normal" to still need porn/masterbation even with a good sex life?
Is it really cheating if you stray elsewhere to satisfy your sexual needs (porn or chats)
skipper

Hephzibah, GA

#2 Apr 22, 2008
cheatin with the BOOB TUBE is cheating

“Take it and own it, again.”

Since: Apr 07

Huntington Beach "Surf City"

#3 Apr 22, 2008
If this fits your life .... then it's waay ok!

skipper

Hephzibah, GA

#4 Apr 22, 2008
Raven wrote:
My husband and I argue and have continuous fights over his addiction to porn and masterbation.
Most couples slow down with sex after several years of marriage, especially with work, kids, bills & stress with so little time for more then sleep. However, this is not the case for us, sex is an avid "sport" that varies between 2-3 times a day on his days off to at least once a day on working days.
Yet still, he waits until I go to bed (or try coaxing him to bed @ 2:00 am) to open a websight of porn and masterbate.
I question his enjoyment of sex with me, and often wonder if I've become unapealing or dull.
I try not to dwell, but it's bothersome that to know your husband prefers sex with everyone else.
To settle this once and for all, and please guys set me straight if I'm in the wrong,
Is it "normal" to still need porn/masterbation even with a good sex life?
Is it really cheating if you stray elsewhere to satisfy your sexual needs (porn or chats)
why let him have all the fun
join him and enjoy
ag85bc

Greensboro, NC

#5 Aug 10, 2008
masterbation is easy. no xpectations time frame, and totally self centered. sounds fine to me

“Ridin' The Devils Little Horse”

Since: Mar 08

Straight To Hells Door

#6 Aug 10, 2008
Whoa Whoa Whoa... This has to be a joke... How the hell is masturbation cheating??? It's his hand and his Johnson... It's his to pretty much do with as he pleases... If the objection is about the porn ... He's never going to meet those women and if he did they would send him back home.. Those are his eyes he is watching it with and you can't .. short of blinding him stop him from using them... Does he disrespect you? Does he compare you to those celluloid women? If he does that then maybe it's time to trade him in for a newer model... If however all he is doing is relieving some pressure... that in itself actually can be a good thing...

:o)
@}--'----

“Our Grand daughter”

Since: Sep 06

Location hidden

#7 Aug 10, 2008
If the woman and man are both in agreement, it's fine..if not, there is a problem..

“Irony, metaphor, film @ eleven”

Since: Feb 08

Old Mesilla/New Las Cruces

#8 Aug 10, 2008
What kind of porn?

What is the subject matter?

If he is getting off by a bullfighter wearing
fishnets, 6 inch spikes and a bullwhip up
his program, with a person of interest wearing
a wet suit dragging a vaccuum cleaner and a shower curtain.....

I don't know.....you're on your own.

Sorry, I don't think I helped.

“Maiden of Mayhem”

Since: May 08

OMFUG

#9 Aug 11, 2008
Why can't anyone spell masturbation correctly?

“I know where you are,”

Since: Jun 08

Right here under my thumb

#10 Aug 11, 2008
victoria1 wrote:
Why can't anyone spell masturbation correctly?
It's called "trollinguistics." lol

“Maiden of Mayhem”

Since: May 08

OMFUG

#11 Aug 11, 2008
milwaukee69 wrote:
<quoted text>
It's called "trollinguistics." lol
Haha, now that I believe.

Since: May 08

Norfolk, VA

#12 Aug 11, 2008
HB Local wrote:
If this fits your life .... then it's waay ok!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v =AwSoYhJ9NkEXX
Watched this and LMAO thru the whole video !!!!
DILF

Medford, NY

#13 Aug 11, 2008
It isn't cheating.......

When women read romance novels and then search for "new batteries" it's OK right?

Cheating is when your mate has a physical relationship with someone else (key word: physical).

Sidenote: I wish I had a dime for every time I had to clean off my monitor.........

“He went belly up!”

Since: Apr 08

Dont credit yourself so highly

#14 Aug 11, 2008
gopher wrote:
<quoted text>Watched this and LMAO thru the whole video !!!!
Funny stuff!

Loved the ending.

XD

Since: Aug 08

Sterling Heights, MI

#16 Aug 11, 2008
Oh and by the way.. He is very sorry now that He didn't listen to me now.

Porn is physically being with someone in a mental state. Neg.Actions - breed a Neg.Reaction. Thats why you have a physical reaction to it.

He has intentionally inflicted alot of pain on me in our long marriage. I have no feelings for him, they totally numbed out from this, and he is a very sad person now.

Since: May 08

Edmonton, Canada

#17 Aug 11, 2008
Wildbluerose wrote:
Whoa Whoa Whoa... This has to be a joke... How the hell is masturbation cheating??? It's his hand and his Johnson... It's his to pretty much do with as he pleases... If the objection is about the porn ... He's never going to meet those women and if he did they would send him back home.. Those are his eyes he is watching it with and you can't .. short of blinding him stop him from using them... Does he disrespect you? Does he compare you to those celluloid women? If he does that then maybe it's time to trade him in for a newer model... If however all he is doing is relieving some pressure... that in itself actually can be a good thing...
:o)
@}--'----
I agree with this post. It is his body. And no he is not cheating by watching porn. Maybe he wants it a little more raunchy. Or maybe he was single for many years, and it is his normal sexual release, habitual if you may. Or maybe he is a nymphomaniac, I am sure men can be this too.
Or maybe he just likes to watch people fuck. Who knows.
If it bothers you, then move on.

Since: Aug 08

Sterling Heights, MI

#18 Aug 11, 2008
Harley-Honey wrote:
<quoted text>
I agree with this post. It is his body. And no he is not cheating by watching porn. Maybe he wants it a little more raunchy. Or maybe he was single for many years, and it is his normal sexual release, habitual if you may. Or maybe he is a nymphomaniac, I am sure men can be this too.
Or maybe he just likes to watch people fuck. Who knows.
If it bothers you, then move on.
What you said is totally clueless of the situation she is facing.

And it only helps prove the fact that this has just become an acceptable norm in our society today, as morality, self respect and respect towards others and spouse's falls lower and lower as the years go by. As people are desensitized by things like this in society.

It doesn't mean, all people have lost their sense of decency, and self respect or that all people now have low morals. And it does not mean all people are not hurt by this.

If she feels this way, then it is her right as it was mine to state so. It's degrading, offensive to ones self esteem and over all hurtful. And she also has a right to be angry.

If its not cheating, then why do so many woman feel inside that it is, and are hurt by it.? and by porn addiction.? Why have so many woman divorced due to it.?

I understand Fully of what she feels like.
I like Many Women like her, have been forced to move on, from men that are addicted to Porn etc...
With our digity, and self respect in tact, even though you have a feeling of being unattractive as a side offect of their actions.

""It's his hand and his Johnson... It's his to pretty much do with as he pleases... If the objection is about the porn ...""

This is not true, when you marry we share our selves, our lives and we belong to each other in a very special way.

It is no longer a his or her's, it is No longer a I thing - its a We thing. Our bodies, are Not just our own to do with as we please. Thats not acting as 1 in union, thats being selfish.

And when you choose Porn Addiction etc - over being with your wife, and understanding how hurtful it is to her self esteem, then you have chosen That Over Her.

I say to her, if He is Not willing to Choose You over his sex and porn addiction, and make You the High Priority - Then move on like so many of us woman have been forced to.

And find someone willing to treat you with the decency and Respect you deserve.!
You have nothing to feel Guilty about, shame on him for choosing trash over you, you deserve much better.!

I was married for 21 years, and you have to draw the line somewhere...

You'll feel so much better about yourself. And no one can make that change, but you.

“Yes, I do bite!!”

Since: Jun 08

South Florida

#19 Aug 11, 2008
Harley-Honey wrote:
<quoted text>
I agree with this post. It is his body. And no he is not cheating by watching porn. Maybe he wants it a little more raunchy. Or maybe he was single for many years, and it is his normal sexual release, habitual if you may. Or maybe he is a nymphomaniac, I am sure men can be this too.
Or maybe he just likes to watch people fuck. Who knows.
If it bothers you, then move on.
Agreed.

“Maiden of Mayhem”

Since: May 08

OMFUG

#21 Aug 11, 2008
Bababooeey wrote:
<quoted text>
Agreed.
How dare you agree, that's so mean of you, Mr. Agreeable.

“Yes, I do bite!!”

Since: Jun 08

South Florida

#22 Aug 11, 2008
victoria1 wrote:
<quoted text>
How dare you agree, that's so mean of you, Mr. Agreeable.
Sorry about that.

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