Controlling Husband's Masturbation

Controlling Husband's Masturbation

Posted in the Human Sexuality Forum

Since: May 12

Location hidden

#1 May 1, 2012
Has anyone tried using a chastity devise to help control their husband’s masturbation? Please don't post any attack messages or about your fantasies. I would really like to know if this is something that anyone has tried.

I don’t mind my husband masturbating but I think it has become a problem. Our relationship is good but we are hardly ever intimate with each other anymore and we are lucky if we have sex once every two weeks. Granted, we have two kids and life is really hectic so I don't expect us to be like we were when we first got married, but I think he is using masturbation to get sexual satisfaction instead of being intimate with me.

Other than the intimacy issue, everything else is ok. He’s a good husband and a great dad, and we do love each other. We have talked about this issue and we both agree that it is a problem. He gets embarrassed about it and says that he would like to stop but it is hard to. I think that it is just a lot easier for him to masturbate.

I know there is a lot of stuff about using chastity devises on the internet and that most of it is just fantasy. I also know that talking about the problem and communicating is the most important thing we can do to solve it. But talking can only go so far and to make a change, at some point you have take some kind of action too. I know that using a chastity devise alone is going to fix the problem, but I am interested to know if using one could help.

Does anyone have any real experience with this? I don't want to dominate my husband or control him, I just want to help control his masturbation habit. Please don't post angry replies or about your fantasies. I really want to know about anyone's experience with this.


#3 May 1, 2012
BusyMom. You HAVE to dominate your man to control his mastubation. You ARE dominating your husband by wishing to control his masturbation. You should accept the fact that you are a dominant woman, and take full control of his life. Punish him for any failings to standards you set. Im currently not in chastity but have had reasonably long periods in the past. Im a 38 yr old male submissive.

Since: May 12

Location hidden

#4 May 1, 2012
sub4girls wrote:
BusyMom. You HAVE to dominate your man to control his mastubation. You ARE dominating your husband by wishing to control his masturbation. You should accept the fact that you are a dominant woman, and take full control of his life. Punish him for any failings to standards you set. Im currently not in chastity but have had reasonably long periods in the past. Im a 38 yr old male submissive.
This is exactly the kind of response I was hoping to avoid.

Nehalem, OR

#5 Nov 8, 2012
I am a man who is going through this. It is a fact that a man being withheld sex and masturbation will be much more attentive. But there is a catch. He must be a submissive male. A dominate male will go seek it out and leave you. He wont deal with it.

I submissive male will not leave you. He will stay no matter what happens. He will even desire it. All you have to do is know what your husband is ? But you did say that you don't want to dominate him right ?

The fact is that , it is dominating him. I think you need to look at yourself and find what you are trying to accomplish off of this.

It's fine to want to dominate him. It's nothing to be ashamed of if that is the case.

Now does Chasity work ? Yes , it does work. I can tell you from personal experience . I am much more attentive, I help around the house, I go to the store for her, whatever she asks. But she has to keep dominating me. If she lets up I will masturbate and loose all interest in those things I spoke of before.

Men masturbate for many reasons. One is to get sexual release. Another is a stress release. It helps you sleep too. But the loss of hormones and semen cause men to become complacent .

This is gonna catch many off guard. Do some looking on Google and see what wives of FLR say. That is Female Led relationships by the way. Take a look. It's why boxers don't have sex before a fight. It all ties together.

Why are you so bent on not dominating him if you don't mind me asking ?

Is he a submissive male ?

Wifes Husband

Mount Gilead, OH

#7 Dec 10, 2012
My wife and I are trying the honor system to control my masturbation. I try hard not to let her down. I am still allowed to masturbate,but I need to ask her permission to do so. It is humbling,but I am grateful for her generosity. It does increase her sex drive and my attentiveness. We are trying to finding a suitable consequence for "not asking permission". We tried spanking but that does not work for her. Maybe a male chastity device but I have not brought that up,admittedly I am a bit scared of it. Probably means it would be a good deterrent. She takes full advantage of my willingness to please,if you know what I mean. And I find myself horny and WANTING HER ALOT. Maybe you don't need a chastity device, you just need to take charge of his orgasms,even if you're not directly involved with them. And you should be able to tell by his mood, attentiveness,and sex drive (if you are successful he will get an erection if a cool breeze blows) whether he is sneaking some unsanctioned alone time. Good luck,hope find something that works.

Since: Oct 09

Location hidden

#8 Dec 10, 2012
Obviously there are some exceptions but I think most straight men would prefer to have sex with a woman than masterbate. Perhaps he is unsure of himself and finds it easier to masterbate than approach you for sex. You might try initiating sex more often and perhaps reduce his desire to masterbate. I am a 30 yo working mom and know how tired you can be at the end of the day but some oral or a quickie does not have to take long. Even if I am not up to an orgasm, I always enjoy being held and the intimacy of sex.
Wifes Husband

Mount Gilead, OH

#9 Dec 10, 2012
Trust me,if my wife wants some quick oral,I am on my knees in a flash! And then if she wants to make a point,she will play with me a bit with her hands then tell me me I need to wait. I then spend the next day focused on her, and trying to earn my release. Takes my desire up several notches,and also turns her on to no end.

I do prefer a woman over my hand, but our sex drives are very different and it's easier to do it myself. Eventually I just got in the habit of doing it myself. By giving her the power over my orgasm, it increases her sex drive by empowering her. It also makes me try a lot harder to excite her knowing that's my best shot at relief. It redirects the energy I use to masturbate, into flirting with her. I know I listen better when I am at half mast all day, and pleasing her is the only way I am going to get some relief. I know that we have a lot more sex with her having control over my orgasm. My advice is to give this a try and see how it shifts the dynamics of the relationship. It's amazing.
Wifes husband

Mount Gilead, OH

#10 Jan 17, 2013
Tonight is the fourth night in a row that my wife has not allowed me to masturbatory. Tomorrow night we have planned to lock me in CB6000 for the weekend and she holds the key. Very intimidating to take this step, but it feels right. Not a punishment lockup, more of a symbolic gesture that the penis between my legs is hers, and she can exert this power over it if she so desires.

Male Orgasm Control does work. For two nights. straight, I haven't been able to keep my hands off her. It has resulted in her getting long back/head/neck rubs,and me practically begging to put my head between her legs. No such luck. Will have to say that every time I ask permission to masturbate and she says no, I find myself thankful that she cares. And I am way more attentive after 2 nos in a row, not to mention far more open with her. I think her limiting my orgasms has really helped our relationship and think more wives need to take charge.
Wifes husband

Mount Gilead, OH

#11 Jan 20, 2013
After spending most of the weekend in a CB, my opinion is that chastity devices should be a part of every marriage ceremony. Been a good experience do far. Wearing one of these makes sex very simple-I know my head is going to be between my wife's legs. The click the lock makes when your wife locks it on your penis is the most humbling sound in creation.

1-To all wives out there, take control of your husband's orgasms. Not only does he need you to do this, he probably wants you to do this.

2-A male chastity device is a tremendous tool in claiming your power in the marriage. Now that my wife has the power to lock me up, I know she will have my respect and attention. There should be a locking ceremony on the wedding night.

Since: Jan 13


#12 Jan 20, 2013
My wife just playfully tells me to stop. She just accepts it's what I do. I spoke to my step-aunty and she said it was a man thing.

Lincoln, NE

#13 May 29, 2013
I think if you are trying to have control in a relationship you're not qualified to be in one.

Newcastle Upon Tyne, UK

#14 Jul 29, 2013
We've been married 18 yrs, have 2 teenage kids and still have a reasonable sex life, I'm happy at least. We also both masturbate, both with each others knowledge and I assume privately, I do so I assume my husband does.
Sometimes we just don't feel like full sex and will just play and masturbate each other, brings back memories of our courting days on parents sofas and the back of the odd bus.
My husband sometimes starts by himself in bed, if I wake I'll join in and help him.
I don't want to control him, quite the contrary, we both enjoy it and it is part of our sex life.
no kitty husband

Lahaina, HI

#15 Feb 17, 2016
My wife. controls my masterbating!! She asked; me to always accept a fanny ride!! She had me promise not to ask for her kitty for intercourse & printed pics of her to use for my permerment jacking status. NO more kitty intercourse NO more kitty kisses. One fanny ride a month or eleven a year PERIOD I must be clean shaven all pubs gone!! I wear her panties & do all the housework!!!
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