my boyfriend can't give me orgasm

Posted in the Human Sexuality Forum

Comments

Showing posts 1 - 20 of59
< prev page
|
Go to last page| Jump to page:
anniexxi

Gateshead, UK

|
Report Abuse
|
Judge it!
|
#1
Oct 13, 2009
 
Hi,
I'm in a new relationship and I really like the guy, we have great fun, I like everything about him and I enjoy having sex with him but...I can't come with him! I even pretened I did not to hurt him cos I really like him.To be honest I always had problems with orgasm with other partners but I've been sexually active for onlly 2 years, maybe I still need more time before I'm really sexually fit?
Maybe one of the problems is the my boyfriend has a small one, smaller then average but it's still ok.
I'm thinking that maybe in the future I won't be satisfied with im and I can break up with and I really don't want that cos he's an amazing guy and loves me a lot. Should I give myself more time or it's already sure he'll never give me an orgasm?
Shane

Kernersville, NC

|
Report Abuse
|
Judge it!
|
#3
Oct 13, 2009
 
There's someone out there that is better for you all around. Bite the bullet, let go of this fellow and find another partner. You're not doing this current man any favors by holding on to him. Within time he won't be happy either when he understands that he can't satisfy you and he'll be meiserable too. Part of the fun in life is sampling the diversity. You never know, another girl may be what you need to get off. Sample until you find the right partner.
anniexxi

Gateshead, UK

|
Report Abuse
|
Judge it!
|
#4
Oct 13, 2009
 
Hmm, that's a sad advice. Don't know
Louisa DaG

Franklin Lakes, NJ

|
Report Abuse
|
Judge it!
|
#5
Oct 13, 2009
 
anniexxi wrote:
Hi,
I'm in a new relationship and I really like the guy, we have great fun, I like everything about him and I enjoy having sex with him but...I can't come with him! I even pretened I did not to hurt him cos I really like him.To be honest I always had problems with orgasm with other partners but I've been sexually active for onlly 2 years, maybe I still need more time before I'm really sexually fit?
Maybe one of the problems is the my boyfriend has a small one, smaller then average but it's still ok.
I'm thinking that maybe in the future I won't be satisfied with im and I can break up with and I really don't want that cos he's an amazing guy and loves me a lot. Should I give myself more time or it's already sure he'll never give me an orgasm?
Not knowing exact details, except you say hes small but OK. OK could mean 4 or 5"? First of all orgasm through penetration alone can be a problem for many girls. That includes girls who have husbands or boy frends who are bigger. the fact that hes such a good guy, and you LIKE him means its worth doing all it takes to stick together. Have you considered oral? Clitoral stimulation always works! If your loose, try kegals as another worthwhile excercice. A lot of boys really are ignorant of a womans body. Girls dont like to suggest ways they could please them for fear of sounding too experienced. Forget about it. Open up to the boy and ask for what you want and do the same for him. He will love it!!
His size should not be such a big problem. I have given you a few things to work on. Hope it helps. One last thing, you say you LIKE him and he LOVES you.??? Is that accurate or do you LOVE him too?
being loved is all ok but its not enough if you only like him a lot. Thats a problem waiting to happen. Ive had a similar thing where a BF was so crazy about me I felt obligated to not hurt him. Luckily i realized I didnt want to spend my life with him. I LIKED him very much but its not fair to him in the long run as I might have ended up cheating if I met MR. Right later on. Good luck Anniexii

“Men should be submissive”

Since: Nov 07

Location hidden

|
Report Abuse
|
Judge it!
|
#6
Oct 13, 2009
 

Judged:

2

1

1

anniexxi wrote:
Hi,
I'm in a new relationship and I really like the guy, we have great fun, I like everything about him and I enjoy having sex with him but...I can't come with him! I even pretened I did not to hurt him cos I really like him.To be honest I always had problems with orgasm with other partners but I've been sexually active for onlly 2 years, maybe I still need more time before I'm really sexually fit?
Maybe one of the problems is the my boyfriend has a small one, smaller then average but it's still ok.
I'm thinking that maybe in the future I won't be satisfied with im and I can break up with and I really don't want that cos he's an amazing guy and loves me a lot. Should I give myself more time or it's already sure he'll never give me an orgasm?
Orgasms come from more than just penile stimulation. The clitoris is the place to focus if you really want to orgasm. Sounds like you need to masturbate alone and with your boyfriend to explore just what makes you tick. Being a size queen is not the answer at all. If you go out looking for just a d|ck in relationships you will end up only getting d|cked around.
Long

Saint Paul, MN

|
Report Abuse
|
Judge it!
|
#7
Oct 13, 2009
 

Judged:

1

Have hime give you oral. Never fails, plus it's fun for both of you. To make it even better, have him use a finger or two to stimulate your g-spot while he works the clitoris with the tongue. This can give very explosive orgasms. It will make you squirm and claw the bed. My wife loves it and so do I :)
anniexxi

Gateshead, UK

|
Report Abuse
|
Judge it!
|
#8
Oct 13, 2009
 
Thanks,
Lousa. I meant we both like each other, maybe it's too early to talk about love, it's was a bad wording, but really tried hard to get me for long time and now when I finnaly realised how much I cared about him and gave him a change he fails in bed. I'm scarred I could cheat on him in the future if he never satisfies me.
I was never able to come masturbating on my own, only using a clitorial vibrator, I come in a few seconds! Maye i just think too much about the final goal when we have sex and forget to enjoy it. Yes he's not that big but he knows how to please a girl but I think the problem is with me. I don't want to loose him cos of that. Well it's too early to make a decision, we've been together for a month so time will show
anniexxi

Gateshead, UK

|
Report Abuse
|
Judge it!
|
#9
Oct 13, 2009
 
Long- we tried oral and you're wrong that it never fails, and he does all you do to your wife and even if very nice it never leads to orgasm :(
Something is wrong with me then, I'm just 23 with 2 eyars of experience in sex
Join Free

“"let us, at least be civil"”

Since: Oct 07

Location hidden

|
Report Abuse
|
Judge it!
|
#10
Oct 13, 2009
 
My first wife was strictly raised to believe that a woman having an orgasm was wrong. When we were dating, she came on just slutty enough for me to not realize this until we were married. The few times we had sex before we wed she didn't have an orgasm, but i figured that would change after we were married. Big mistake. I tried oral with her, but she would stop me before she could cum because of this upbringing.
One time, after about five years of her stopping me, she actually had a vaginal orgasm and was almost beside herself with guilt and blame.
Ladies, if you are not having a complete sexual experience with your man, TELL him about it. If he is the right guy, he will want to know. And he will want to make it better for you. As I learned with my second wife, if it's good for the woman, it will be good for her partner.

Since: Jan 07

Northeast, Ohio

|
Report Abuse
|
Judge it!
|
#11
Oct 13, 2009
 
If you've been active for 2 years you may still be pretty young. Sometimes girls do need time.

If you've 'always had problems' then it doesn't make sense to dump a guy you like because you're having problems. Seems like it could be something you can wait out.

Some girls have touble ever orgasming from just vaginal penetration. Maybe you need more foreplay first.
anniexxi

Gateshead, UK

|
Report Abuse
|
Judge it!
|
#12
Oct 13, 2009
 
Thanks Oveerhehill.
I had a similar psychological problem when I was a teenager. THe problem was the church influence, They managed to convince me, small teenage girl, that orgasm and any sexual pleasure is bad. Everytime I masturbated I felt bad and evil and I had to confess my sin!!
So maybe now, when I abandoned the church and I'm more mature and keen to orgasm this psychological barrier is still in my mind and hard to get out of it??

“Because you are... A puppet.”

Since: Sep 08

Long Island

|
Report Abuse
|
Judge it!
|
#13
Oct 13, 2009
 
anniexxi wrote:
Thanks Oveerhehill.
I had a similar psychological problem when I was a teenager. THe problem was the church influence, They managed to convince me, small teenage girl, that orgasm and any sexual pleasure is bad. Everytime I masturbated I felt bad and evil and I had to confess my sin!!
So maybe now, when I abandoned the church and I'm more mature and keen to orgasm this psychological barrier is still in my mind and hard to get out of it??
Yes. I would not be so quick to blame your boyfriend. You have self confessed here that you have only two years of sex experience and have had a difficult time reaching orgasm with others. I truly believe a big part of the reason is your mental state. Sex is 95% mental and 5% physical. Those figures are not exact of course. Anyway I would work on yourself before you toss a good thing out the door. Finding someone who truly cares for you, treats you well and will love you fully is very tough to find.

I am not denouncing the fact that your boyfriend may not be the greatest lover to walk the Earth, but as others have said... Talk to your man and let him know the issues. Once you two are open about the issue it can be resolved to both of your satisfaction.
Louisa DaG

Franklin Lakes, NJ

|
Report Abuse
|
Judge it!
|
#14
Oct 13, 2009
 

Judged:

1

1

anniexxi wrote:
Thanks Oveerhehill.
I had a similar psychological problem when I was a teenager. THe problem was the church influence, They managed to convince me, small teenage girl, that orgasm and any sexual pleasure is bad. Everytime I masturbated I felt bad and evil and I had to confess my sin!!
So maybe now, when I abandoned the church and I'm more mature and keen to orgasm this psychological barrier is still in my mind and hard to get out of it??
Being in a puritanical church can screw you up. I go to church but was taught that God created sex and its goos but best within marriage. While I agree with the church Im weak and have had sex before marriage. I believe God understands we are weak and provided for us anyway. if you have a kid who is full of mischief you love the kid anyway and forgive but maybe disepline. You dont throw the kid away. I look at God that way. Just my own way of seeing it.

Since: Jul 09

Perth, Australia

|
Report Abuse
|
Judge it!
|
#15
Oct 13, 2009
 

Judged:

1

1

1

anniexxi wrote:
Hi,
I'm in a new relationship and I really like the guy, we have great fun, I like everything about him and I enjoy having sex with him but...I can't come with him! I even pretened I did not to hurt him cos I really like him.To be honest I always had problems with orgasm with other partners but I've been sexually active for onlly 2 years, maybe I still need more time before I'm really sexually fit?
Maybe one of the problems is the my boyfriend has a small one, smaller then average but it's still ok.
I'm thinking that maybe in the future I won't be satisfied with im and I can break up with and I really don't want that cos he's an amazing guy and loves me a lot. Should I give myself more time or it's already sure he'll never give me an orgasm?
^^^^^^
So let me see.....you are ready to dump a guy because he can't give you an orgasm.
Then you blame it on because he has a small one.....
So, you don't think your inability to have an orgasm is not YOUR problem, but feel you have to blame him for not been able to give you one.
Maybe you should go an experiment with a big one......you might be a size queen without really knowing...
You might find yourself having multiple orgasms with a well hung guy..
Why not try a black guy.....they are suppose to be the best lovers in the world going by most women on topix...
Give it a shot....lol
Keep Him

Cape Coral, FL

|
Report Abuse
|
Judge it!
|
#16
Oct 13, 2009
 
Do not dump the guy.

Work on your psychological problem and guide him on exactly what stimulation you need to get the job done.

Always remember, however, to practice birth control if you are not ready to have a baby, as abortion is an absolutely disgracefull act, however legal it is.
Tanker6

United States

|
Report Abuse
|
Judge it!
|
#17
Oct 13, 2009
 

Judged:

1

My wife couldn't orgasm for the first year or so of marriage even though I was working my tail off to accomplish it. Her doctor recommended she masturbate to see if she could help herself. Turns out she'd never even touched herself down there except with a washcloth or toilet paper. The doctor told her to get in the bath, wash her coochee with her fingers only, and see if she can get over some of her hangups. He even went so far as to get a mirror and show her what her vagina looked like. Pointed out and named all the parts. She'd never even looked at herself.

After about six months of messing around with herself in the bath, she eventually learned how to get the job done. Now, she orgasms every single time we make love. She's now always after me. I'm watching Letterman, and she's saying "aren't you coming to bed, Tank?" That means, "I'm horny, hon."

That advice above by "la la la lola" was dead on!
Long

Saint Paul, MN

|
Report Abuse
|
Judge it!
|
#18
Oct 13, 2009
 
anniexxi wrote:
Thanks,
Lousa. I meant we both like each other, maybe it's too early to talk about love, it's was a bad wording, but really tried hard to get me for long time and now when I finnaly realised how much I cared about him and gave him a change he fails in bed. I'm scarred I could cheat on him in the future if he never satisfies me.
I was never able to come masturbating on my own, only using a clitorial vibrator, I come in a few seconds! Maye i just think too much about the final goal when we have sex and forget to enjoy it. Yes he's not that big but he knows how to please a girl but I think the problem is with me. I don't want to loose him cos of that. Well it's too early to make a decision, we've been together for a month so time will show
If the vibrator worked for you, how about having him or your self use it on your clitoris while having intercourse. Just relax and have fun.
anniexxi

Gateshead, UK

|
Report Abuse
|
Judge it!
|
#19
Oct 13, 2009
 
Louisa DaG wrote:
<quoted text>
Being in a puritanical church can screw you up. I go to church but was taught that God created sex and its goos but best within marriage. While I agree with the church Im weak and have had sex before marriage. I believe God understands we are weak and provided for us anyway. if you have a kid who is full of mischief you love the kid anyway and forgive but maybe disepline. You dont throw the kid away. I look at God that way. Just my own way of seeing it.
Yes Louisa, it's not about God but about the Church as an organisation which can screw you up. Young people are naive and easy to persuade as I used to be. Now I suffer, maybe I need profesional help! Gosh
anniexxi

Gateshead, UK

|
Report Abuse
|
Judge it!
|
#20
Oct 13, 2009
 
Marius66 wrote:
<quoted text>
^^^^^^
So let me see.....you are ready to dump a guy because he can't give you an orgasm.
Then you blame it on because he has a small one.....
So, you don't think your inability to have an orgasm is not YOUR problem, but feel you have to blame him for not been able to give you one.
Maybe you should go an experiment with a big one......you might be a size queen without really knowing...
You might find yourself having multiple orgasms with a well hung guy..
Why not try a black guy.....they are suppose to be the best lovers in the world going by most women on topix...
Give it a shot....lol
I don't think I'm gonna try a black guy only cos he's got a big one! I already tried a big one, still struggled to come but I could come a couple of times though!
Jill

Seattle, WA

|
Report Abuse
|
Judge it!
|
#21
Oct 13, 2009
 

Judged:

2

1

1

His rod is too small. Dump him.

Tell me when this thread is updated: (Registration is not required)

Add to my Tracker Send me an email

Showing posts 1 - 20 of59
< prev page
|
Go to last page| Jump to page:
Type in your comments below
Name
(appears on your post)
Comments
Characters left: 4000

Please note by clicking on "Post Comment" you acknowledge that you have read the Terms of Service and the comment you are posting is in compliance with such terms. Be polite. Inappropriate posts may be removed by the moderator. Send us your feedback.

5138 Users are viewing the Human Sexuality Forum right now

Search the Human Sexuality Forum:
Topic Updated Last By Comments
Females that post nude snapchat stories 2 min macca1994s 2,584
dirty ki..k 2 min hotm4sx 137,751
Tribute my cheating gf 2 min Mikelanterns 10
Any horny pregnant girls who want to videochat ... 3 min Geoff 1
Bi/Gay Skype sex (Sep '11) 3 min Wasst 333,441
There are literally no women on here! 3 min blondie1975 11,992
Gay phone wank (Oct '12) 3 min Stu 8,714
gay snapchat!!! (Dec '12) 4 min Wasst 211,222
Gay/bi K....k 5 min uku 64,688
•••
•••
•••

Human Sexuality People Search

Addresses and phone numbers for FREE

•••