I want to orgasm during sex, help!

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Kat

Murphysboro, IL

#1 Oct 14, 2007
I'm 22 going on 23. I've had 4 boyfriends, and I have failed to have an orgasm with any of them whether through "heavy petting" or through intercourse. I came close to orgasm once, when one of them was performing oral sex on me. It was only after a very long time, and my mind had drifted off when suddenly I realized I was beginning to orgasm. However, as soon as I did realize it my shock and excitement seemed to make it go away. That was probably about 7 years ago or so.
Until my current boyfriend, I've always faked orgasms. Not only does it make the guy feel good, but it also made sex more enjoyable for me because I didn't have to feel bad for not climaxing.
I've been dating my current boyfriend for two years now. We live together, and pretty harmoniously I must say. When I first started dating him, I knew I liked him a lot, and I decided that I wanted to be completely honest about everything, including orgasms. I told him no one has ever made me orgasm, but that I wanted to work at it with him and have true orgasms because I loved him. Well, for a long time we did work at it, and he tried to get me to orgasm by playing with my clitoris, etc. But it never did happen and we've sort of given up. Even when I attempt to pleasure myself during sex I don't reach orgasm. I think it's because the rhythm is too different compared to when I masturbate, and I just get exasperated.
Lately I've been reading Whipple et al.'s "The G Spot" and got really excited at the prospect of finding a different way to try to orgasm. But I spent some time trying to find it to no avail, and I'm not so sure that it even exists.
There is nothing I want more badly than to be able to orgasm with the love of my life, and I'm sure he feels the same way. Help?
kazz

India

#2 Oct 14, 2007
have u tryed oral with ur current bf?

by the way it can take a long time to find the G spot and some people can't find it at all but keep trying
Kat

Murphysboro, IL

#3 Oct 14, 2007
kazz wrote:
have u tryed oral with ur current bf?
by the way it can take a long time to find the G spot and some people can't find it at all but keep trying
Oh yes, we do that all the time. His tongue doesn't seem to be strong enough and he's not willing/able to do it for long periods of time.
OlderGuy

South Africa

#4 Oct 14, 2007
Kat, just enjoy it. Sex is not about racing to an orgasm. Try some real long foreplay/ heavy petting, but do not push the issue. It will come, you are starting to become anxious and it is not helping. Good luck and have fun
Kat

Murphysboro, IL

#5 Oct 14, 2007
God, I do enjoy it. In fact I usually want to have sex more often than my boyfriend does. There are many things to love about sex other than orgasming. Usually I let go of the idea of trying to achieve orgasm. But occasionally, such as today, I get to thinking about it and wishing I could. No, it is not necessary to have an orgasm every time, but to never have one? In 7 years of being sexually active? I feel I deserve to experience that fulfillment, and it's to the point where I feel that something is wrong with me.

Since: Oct 07

Virginia Beach, VA

#6 Oct 14, 2007
kazz wrote:
have u tryed oral with ur current bf?
by the way it can take a long time to find the G spot and some people can't find it at all but keep trying
better get yourself a black man.

“Beautiful conundrum”

Since: Sep 07

Portland, OR

#7 Oct 14, 2007
I typed up a huge post and it never showed. Grr!

Basically it said that if you try too hard, it may make it a chore instead of a natural thing.

If your boyfriend inserts a finger or two, palm side up (if you are on your back) and strokes the front wall of your vagina, while pressing on your lower abdomen, it may work. It isn't a magic button that immediately throws you into orgasm, but more a spot that if stimulated correctly, can cause an orgasm.

Having been with women before and given them oral sex, I can tell you it is hard to keep up oral for a long period of time.

“Beautiful conundrum”

Since: Sep 07

Portland, OR

#8 Oct 14, 2007
Have you never orgasmed, or just not with a partner?
Join Free

Since: Feb 07

Cambridgeshire

#9 Oct 14, 2007
Have you tried using a vibrator. The problem with humans is, they do get tired and keeping a regular rythem going is incredibly difficult.

Lots of vibes are available that stimulate diffient parts of the body. Clit, Vagina, G-Spot, Anal, perhaps even combinations of several to really make it work for you. It's probably best to try to orgasm by yourself and do exactly what you want than to try and do it with your bf. Then Perhaps you can transfer that new found knowledge.

Also what really turns you on? Senarios, positions, places, perhaps even roleplay with a very long build up and session of foreplay.

Just some suggestions. Hope they help
Kat

Murphysboro, IL

#10 Oct 14, 2007
wilted calluna wrote:
Have you never orgasmed, or just not with a partner?
Just not with a partner. In fact, I have been masturbating since I was 4. I sometimes think that is the cause of my lack of orgasms--that maybe since I've been pleasuring myself for so long, that it's hard for me become stimulated enough by anyone else.

“Beautiful conundrum”

Since: Sep 07

Portland, OR

#11 Oct 14, 2007
Kat wrote:
<quoted text>
Just not with a partner. In fact, I have been masturbating since I was 4. I sometimes think that is the cause of my lack of orgasms--that maybe since I've been pleasuring myself for so long, that it's hard for me become stimulated enough by anyone else.
Have him watch you masturbate some time. Not participate, just watch and see how you touch yourself.
hotness

Australia

#12 Oct 20, 2007
I think you should masturbate calmly or get your bf to do oral sex with you while your VERY relaxed
Good Luck and happy orgasaming (:
itsancho

Kabul, Afghanistan

#13 Oct 20, 2007
Keep enjoying your sex. It is somthing which happens in due course of time. one cant rush it. It took fifteen years for my gf to get her first orgasm.
David

Brisbane, Australia

#14 Oct 20, 2007
Did you know of the link to this video, on another thread? The force-fingering approach might not be for everyone (my wife finds it a bit rough, prefers my lips and tongue). But it gives an idea.
Phil wrote:
I found a great video online that shows a really good technique to get your girl to squirt:
http://www.andrewsbest.com/view.php...
Remember that all women are different, but that should give you an idea of what needs to be done.
David

Brisbane, Australia

#15 Oct 20, 2007
BTW it mentions squirting... it's not just about squirting its the whole orgasm thing. Good luck!
juicy fruit

Salt Lake City, UT

#17 Oct 24, 2007
i had a bf who's toungue wasn't strong enough either. when it got tired for him he switched to using his chin to rub and switche dback and forth between the two... worked like a charm!
juicy fruit

Salt Lake City, UT

#18 Oct 24, 2007
one more thing.. i think when you're in the act, you delve on it too much. you need to relax and let go. acheiving orgasm will be easier. almost guarenteed!

Since: Sep 07

United States

#19 Oct 24, 2007
It took me a very long time to climax with someone else other than my own hand. But the key is still to relax I know it sounds like a cliche, but really it is what it takes. Fess up to your boyfriend, he might be upset a little but if you tell him why you fake, then maybe he will not feel so bad, afterall they should want to please you.

Maybe start by masturbating with him watching, but he can't say anything, or get annoyed with any part of it, after he watches you a while, he could start to rub for you. Sometimes having something else to concetrate on works too, like 69. When you are lost in pleasing him, then you forget about worrying and all of a sudden your body responds to his tongue or mouth.

Good luck and it will come,(every pun was intended!)
shagalicious

Nottingham, UK

#20 Oct 24, 2007
My ex was pretty satisfied with my technique. I can help if you want....

Se http://www.gexo.com/view.php...
its me

Zanesville, OH

#21 Oct 24, 2007
Kat wrote:
<quoted text>
Just not with a partner. In fact, I have been masturbating since I was 4. I sometimes think that is the cause of my lack of orgasms--that maybe since I've been pleasuring myself for so long, that it's hard for me become stimulated enough by anyone else.
I think that sex and the motion of getting off with your years of masturbation i think you meant to put 14 years old when you started masturbating. If you masturbated often you might have a to high of tolerance per say. You need to try something exciting, try having sex somewhere you would never have it to get you adrenaline pumping and maybe you will cum....maybe go to a real lame movie during the day so you two are by yourself and get it on...i know it takes some guts but how bad do you wanna get off?

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