Do guys care about a girls number of past sexual partners?

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Since: Jun 09

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#1
Jul 11, 2009
 

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I've been with a lot of guys and I've been in relationships with some awesome guys recently but somehow the talk about the past comes up. When they ask i feel obligated to tell them the truth, because I care for them and I don't want to have a relationship based on lies. I've been with close to 100 guys and I just turned 23. I know that's a lot but I'm very sexual. This news has had guys give up on me and its ended our relationship. I was just wondering if all guys care that a girl this young has been with that many guys.
Frank

Downey, CA

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#3
Jul 11, 2009
 

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Don't tell the guys numbers and details. It will lead to jealousy and curiosity. We like to think that we are a girl's best lover and that whatever we do together is special. Knowing otherwise is a problem.

Women aren't that different, but it's more about signs of affection than sex. Women don't like if you give them the same ring or present as another woman got, or take them to the same restaurant or vacation spot.

When guys ask you, just say vaguely, there have been others. No details. Be cute and say something like, none of them mattered like you do. Or, you're my first real man.

Sometimes a white lie is a kindness.
Analog-digital

Needham Heights, MA

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#5
Jul 11, 2009
 

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I hung out with someone awhile back, she was in her middle years, had dated a good friend for awhile. Claimed to be virgin before him, well after we shacked up briefly, a year later she went into total denial mode about us ever having anything real. Then it dawned on me that some women are so deep in denial, that they will blank out a lot of their previous flings and relationships. I think you represent the other end of this spectrum. Try not to be so honest, the fact is there is still a double standard, you are just doing what most guys dream about doing, and only gay men get as much action as a fairly attractive woman can get. Only talk about the past in very general terms and definitely don't give exact numbers, thats going to freak out a certain amount of dudes. Good luck!
Larry

Downey, CA

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#6
Jul 11, 2009
 

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horndog wrote:
<quoted text>
Sorry, but I have to disagree. Sooner or later, the truth will come out. It could be years down the road, but when it does come out, it's going to kill the guy when he realizes you've been living a lie. He's not going to trust you about anything after that. The WORST thing a woman can do to a man is lie to him.
There are areas of privacy in a relationship. A guy doesn't have a right to know about all past relationships. Nor does a girl have the right to know things like, did you tell any other girl that you loved her the most?

It's not lying if you just don't discuss a subject or remain vague. If your partner has any sensitivity, he will understand that it's not something that you wish to share. Nor is it important for your future: it's YOUR past only.
Perv

Sedalia, MO

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#7
Jul 11, 2009
 

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To mix several answers above: He does have a "right" to know - you are exposing him to everyone you've had sex with in the past, and he has the right to make an informed decision.

But if he loves YOU, then it won't matter all that much. It isn't like it gets "worn out" - if you take care of it.

Do not lie about it, he will find out eventually if the relationship continues for very long.
darkcloset

United States

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#8
Jul 11, 2009
 

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Yes he deserves to know. No offense but 23 and you've been with so many guys is disgusting to me. And the poor excuse your very sexual doesn't defend you very well you could have been overly sexual with five guys the same as you've been with 100. I feel for any guy that is misfortunate enough to fall for you. Your promiscuality shows your lack of loyalty, commitment and respect for yourself. Sleeping with a large number of people is a fantasy of many but that's why role playing was invented so your one sexual partner can become 100 just with a change of wardrobe. the risk you've not only put upon yourself but the arrogance of putting this burden on these men is shocking.
Perv

Sedalia, MO

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#9
Jul 11, 2009
 

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darkcloset wrote:
No offense but 23 and you've been with so many guys is disgusting to me. And the poor excuse your very sexual doesn't defend you very well you could have been overly sexual with five guys the same as you've been with 100. I feel for any guy that is misfortunate enough to fall for you. Your promiscuality shows your lack of loyalty, commitment and respect for yourself. Sleeping with a large number of people is a fantasy of many but that's why role playing was invented so your one sexual partner can become 100 just with a change of wardrobe. the risk you've not only put upon yourself but the arrogance of putting this burden on these men is shocking.
You are a judgmental @$$. Personally I think it is GREAT that there are women that are assured of themselves enough to f#ck, and to admit it. I've personally been with more than 50 people - and I've been married for more than 18 years - so balls to your theory of lack of loyalty. You are just an inflammatory f#cktard.
Larry

Downey, CA

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#11
Jul 11, 2009
 

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Perv wrote:
To mix several answers above: He does have a "right" to know - you are exposing him to everyone you've had sex with in the past, and he has the right to make an informed decision.
But if he loves YOU, then it won't matter all that much. It isn't like it gets "worn out" - if you take care of it.
Do not lie about it, he will find out eventually if the relationship continues for very long.
He DOES NOT have a right to know the woman's sexual history. She owes him good health and a health-checkup before they become intimate, and that's her only ethical obligation.
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darkcloset

United States

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#12
Jul 11, 2009
 

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I'm the infalmatory one? Yet I never called her a fucktard or anything of the sort. I love the ass backwards thinking of people in this world perv like usual you prove how much of a low life you really are. I gave my opinion and didn't viciously attack anyone. Yet you come in here and show what a lack of education can really do to people.

“Never Give Up”

Since: Jul 08

Brooklyn, NY

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#13
Jul 11, 2009
 

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bustybabe86 wrote:
I've been with a lot of guys and I've been in relationships with some awesome guys recently but somehow the talk about the past comes up. When they ask i feel obligated to tell them the truth, because I care for them and I don't want to have a relationship based on lies. I've been with close to 100 guys and I just turned 23. I know that's a lot but I'm very sexual. This news has had guys give up on me and its ended our relationship. I was just wondering if all guys care that a girl this young has been with that many guys.
Well I'm 23 as well. Personally I do like to know somewhat of the history of women especially because things of disease etc come into play. 100 guys is a lot & might scare some guys I know it would concern me. But I think if your clean & loyal I'd give you a shot. Loyal is key because of sexual nature & been with that many its a huge risk that a girl of your background will easily bounce around.

Like the other guy said though guys like to feel like they've been your best but numbers don't matter in that case. Because you could've been w/ 100 or just 2 others the comparison is still there just make the guy feel special, be honest you are experienced & show you are loyal & you should be fine.
Will

Fredericksburg, VA

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#14
Jul 11, 2009
 

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I would never be able to trust a girl who was 23 and already fucked a hundred guys. That means you have sex with people at the drop of a hat. I'd hate to marry a chick like that and wonder who she's banging while I'm at work.

I wouldn't expect any sane, self-respecting person, male or female, to invest themselves emotionally in someone who only doe what their genitals tell them to.

I don't care how many guys a girl has had as long as that number closely matches up with the number of boyfriends she's had.

“Never Give Up”

Since: Jul 08

Brooklyn, NY

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#15
Jul 11, 2009
 
Will wrote:
I would never be able to trust a girl who was 23 and already fucked a hundred guys. That means you have sex with people at the drop of a hat. I'd hate to marry a chick like that and wonder who she's banging while I'm at work.
I wouldn't expect any sane, self-respecting person, male or female, to invest themselves emotionally in someone who only doe what their genitals tell them to.
I don't care how many guys a girl has had as long as that number closely matches up with the number of boyfriends she's had.
Exactly goes perfect with what I was trying to say lol
Sherri

Downey, CA

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#16
Jul 11, 2009
 

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Will wrote:
I don't care how many guys a girl has had as long as that number closely matches up with the number of boyfriends she's had.
Does it matter if I call someone a "boyfriend" or a "date" or a "cute guy?" If it feels right, then why not enjoy sex with an attractive man? This assumes I play it safe regarding disease, birth control, and serial killers!

A guy explained it to me like this: There's 365 days in a year. He feels horny about every 2 days, and really horny if no release after three days. So that would mean at least 100 times per year, you really want to have sex. I don't feel horny quite that often, but I think the issue is about the same for women and men.

Now, you can take care of yourself, if you find that satisfying. I don't see that as being very mature, and certainly not good for social development.

If you happen to have a regular boyfriend or girlfriend, they might give you release 100 or more times per year. But if you're not seeing anyone regularly, then you might wind up with 100 different partners, just for that year People are getting married at older ages than in the past, and are less willing to settle down even for living together.

I realize that guys have a more difficult time finding casual sex partners than do we women, so maybe that's why some of you condemn women for having "too many" partners, when that's exactly what you'd like to do yourself.
YOU DUMB SKANK

Kingston, PA

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#17
Jul 11, 2009
 

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bustybabe86 wrote:
I've been with a lot of guys and I've been in relationships with some awesome guys recently but somehow the talk about the past comes up. When they ask i feel obligated to tell them the truth, because I care for them and I don't want to have a relationship based on lies. I've been with close to 100 guys and I just turned 23. I know that's a lot but I'm very sexual. This news has had guys give up on me and its ended our relationship. I was just wondering if all guys care that a girl this young has been with that many guys.
yeah, no decent man is gonna ever marry a skank who had sex with 100 bums by the time she age 23, especially when you probably live in a small town population 1000.

you might as well move to a big city and be a professional, get paid for it, peice of shiet.
Will

Fredericksburg, VA

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#19
Jul 11, 2009
 

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Would you want to be with a man who, for the past six years, banged a different chick every 23 days without a break? Would you trust him to be satisfied with you when he had spent that much time trying to get it from as many places as he could? Do you think he would break a habit of thinking exclusively with his penis just for you? Or do you think you'd have a little more sense and find somebody who behaves a little more with heart and a little less with hormones?

A trustworthy person is someone who has spent their time building good relationships based on trust and loyalty not-- someone who is above their animal instincts. That's kind of the point of being in a monogamous relationship, being with another person who is capable of devoting themselves to another person for a long period of time. A person who's been banging someone new every month since puberty is a person with a history of being unable to do that.

I've dated a girl with a long history before. it took two weeks for her to cheat on me. Never again. If that's the kind of life you want to live, more power to you, but don't expect good, loyal people to be ready and waiting for you to snap out of it.
Will

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#20
Jul 11, 2009
 

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Also, doing what "feels right" (aka I'm horny and this person has nice eyes) is what causes people to cheat in the first place.
Tom

Downey, CA

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#21
Jul 11, 2009
 

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Will wrote:
Would you want to be with a man who, for the past six years, banged a different chick every 23 days without a break? Would you trust him to be satisfied with you when he had spent that much time trying to get it from as many places as he could? Do you think he would break a habit of thinking exclusively with his penis just for you? Or do you think you'd have a little more sense and find somebody who behaves a little more with heart and a little less with hormones?
A trustworthy person is someone who has spent their time building good relationships based on trust and loyalty not-- someone who is above their animal instincts. That's kind of the point of being in a monogamous relationship, being with another person who is capable of devoting themselves to another person for a long period of time. A person who's been banging someone new every month since puberty is a person with a history of being unable to do that.
I've dated a girl with a long history before. it took two weeks for her to cheat on me. Never again. If that's the kind of life you want to live, more power to you, but don't expect good, loyal people to be ready and waiting for you to snap out of it.
Not everyone wants a long-term relationship. You could also argue that a person who has had a lot of sexual variety has gotten it out of their system, What if you marry some virgin or inexperienced partner, who then starts to wonder what it would be like to be with someone besides you?

More attractive people have more partners because they have more opportunities. You can always choose a less attractive partner if you would get anxious about someone who's been with many partners.
Bob

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#22
Jul 11, 2009
 

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I think a younger guy will have a hard time accepting it. When i was younger i use to look down on girls like that but when i got older i feel really ashamed of my attitude i had back when i was younger. Time is an important factor in making us realize of what we thought mattered really doesn't in the long run. If he ask be honest because if you lie about it and end up in a relationship with a man he may feel justified in taking a homicidal act against you .
Will

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#24
Jul 11, 2009
 

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I'd prefer a girl who has a history of having sex with her boyfriends and being faithful to them throughout the duration of their relationship. And yeah, a person could have gotten it all out of their system, but I wouldn't want to take that chance unless I knew it had been some time since they were that promiscuous. When you behave like that, having sex with lots of people you barely know, I think you're building the kinds of behavioral habits that will lead you astray when you're in a relationship.

If that's what you want to do then go for it. If having sex with whoever makes your genitals tingle is your thing, more power to you. But don't be disappointed when you fall for someone who wants nothing to do with you because they can't trust you.

I wouldn't marry a girl with a history of being a nymphomaniac for the same reason I wouldn't hire an accountant who I knew was a kleptomaniac. As nice as they may seem, and as much as they profess that they have changed, they're never worth the risk and you always have to question them.

“Never Give Up”

Since: Jul 08

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#25
Jul 11, 2009
 

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Tom wrote:
<quoted text>
Not everyone wants a long-term relationship. You could also argue that a person who has had a lot of sexual variety has gotten it out of their system, What if you marry some virgin or inexperienced partner, who then starts to wonder what it would be like to be with someone besides you?
More attractive people have more partners because they have more opportunities. You can always choose a less attractive partner if you would get anxious about someone who's been with many partners.
Very fair I suppose...I agree w/ you & Will. I have experienced situations where I was w/ attractive virgins who went nuts & wanted to experience dif partners & that doesnt feel very good. I know like Will said though I was used to building trust & loyalty she was my 1st & was fully loyal to her all 3.5yrs which even include the beginning of the break up her not so much.

Cheating is created based on what feels right like Will said I've been on both ends as cheated on & cheated w/....but her problem has already been losing guys because of this so clearly shes trying to settle down now but most guys are not going to want to be the guinea pig to hope hes the one she stays loyal too. It's a huge risk & I already have trust issues so I know I'd keep my distance as well lol

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