husband walking in on lesbian sex

husband walking in on lesbian sex

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Mirel

Chicago, IL

#1 Jan 25, 2009
I'm a married bisexual woman, age 40, mom of five. For almost four years I've had a younger, single lesbian lover (age 27). My husband and I have been at odds in general lately, but esp. sexually. He's been really uninterested, but things have begun to improve (ex.- he was diagnosed w/ sleep apnea, which can affect sex drive w/ fatigue, etc.). He was more wild and kinky early on. I've tried to sound him out on a threesome, no luck at the time.
Wondering the reaction of husbands if you walked in on your wife frolicking w/ another lovely lady, where both invite you to join. Would you be revolted, betrayed, ecstatic, confused, etc.? Would it be diff. then walking in on her w/ a guy, or not really? Any suggestions on my situation...
Just a Normal Dude

Omaha, NE

#2 Jan 25, 2009
Mirel wrote:
I'm a married bisexual woman, age 40, mom of five. For almost four years I've had a younger, single lesbian lover (age 27). My husband and I have been at odds in general lately, but esp. sexually. He's been really uninterested, but things have begun to improve (ex.- he was diagnosed w/ sleep apnea, which can affect sex drive w/ fatigue, etc.). He was more wild and kinky early on. I've tried to sound him out on a threesome, no luck at the time.
Wondering the reaction of husbands if you walked in on your wife frolicking w/ another lovely lady, where both invite you to join. Would you be revolted, betrayed, ecstatic, confused, etc.? Would it be diff. then walking in on her w/ a guy, or not really? Any suggestions on my situation...
Whether it be man or women, I would feel betrayed to know that my wife was in a relationship with someone else. Especially for so long. Even if I joined in, it would have long term reperucussions. Although I would be upset, I would handle it better to find out this was a one time fling where there was little or no emotional connection.

Does your husband know about her? I don't see the difference in adultry whether it is hetero, or homosexual in nature. Now, if all parties are knowledgable and consent that is different.
Mirel

Chicago, IL

#3 Jan 25, 2009
Just a Normal Dude wrote:
<quoted text>
Whether it be man or women, I would feel betrayed to know that my wife was in a relationship with someone else. Especially for so long. Even if I joined in, it would have long term reperucussions. Although I would be upset, I would handle it better to find out this was a one time fling where there was little or no emotional connection.
Does your husband know about her? I don't see the difference in adultry whether it is hetero, or homosexual in nature. Now, if all parties are knowledgable and consent that is different.
my husband knows her and knows I'm attracted to her, he doesn't know the extent of the relationship, although he seemed somewhat intrigued by the idea - and I agree, he prob. be more comfortable with a fling.
Mirel

Chicago, IL

#4 Jan 25, 2009
a/o else please
MiracleMan

United States

#5 Jan 25, 2009
I wouldn't feel betrayed if my wife were with a woman and invited me to join them. I would eventually join in, but I would want to watch them first. If you have no problem with it, tell your husband that you would like to see him with your lover/girlfriend. Tell him that it would turn you on to see them together. I bet that will spark his interest. If he is open to that, you could join in with them.
Mirel

Chicago, IL

#6 Jan 25, 2009
MiracleMan wrote:
I wouldn't feel betrayed if my wife were with a woman and invited me to join them. I would eventually join in, but I would want to watch them first. If you have no problem with it, tell your husband that you would like to see him with your lover/girlfriend. Tell him that it would turn you on to see them together. I bet that will spark his interest. If he is open to that, you could join in with them.
I've tried this somewhat - he is definitely turned on by her (who the hell wouldn't be) but I think he's afraid of the implications and consequences. Both he and she are submissive, while I am dominant - I'm not sure if or where that fits into the puzzle...

“Men should be submissive”

Since: Nov 07

Location hidden

#7 Jan 25, 2009
Mirel wrote:
I'm a married bisexual woman, age 40, mom of five. For almost four years I've had a younger, single lesbian lover (age 27). My husband and I have been at odds in general lately, but esp. sexually. He's been really uninterested, but things have begun to improve (ex.- he was diagnosed w/ sleep apnea, which can affect sex drive w/ fatigue, etc.). He was more wild and kinky early on. I've tried to sound him out on a threesome, no luck at the time.
Wondering the reaction of husbands if you walked in on your wife frolicking w/ another lovely lady, where both invite you to join. Would you be revolted, betrayed, ecstatic, confused, etc.? Would it be diff. then walking in on her w/ a guy, or not really? Any suggestions on my situation...
Wow! Hope your guy is on some good apnea treatment. Did he get C-pap or Bi-pap? Sleep apnea causes extreme depression that can trigger loss of interest in sex, too! Can you tell I hang out with a polysomnographer?? LOL!!!

Well, my first husband said no way to a three way with another woman or man. Not all guys have the fantasy, I guess.(how did we get unlucky against the odds?)

You really should clue him in on your bisexuality. If he cannot satisfy you at the present time, you need an outlet. Sounds like your lady friend is nice and discreet if you have been with her so long. I wouldn't just let him walk in on you - that shock treatment might backfire.

You say he was more wild & kinky early on. Can you remind him of those things and possibly get him going in that direction again? Rough situation. I know you want to broaden your horizons, but don't want to hurt him in the process. I hope it goes well for you.
MiracleMan

United States

#8 Jan 25, 2009
I'm probably more dominant as well, that's why I wouldn't be afraid of the implications or consequences. It would excite me to experience the situation, but I could leave it there. I would hope the others involved could leave it there as well. Emotions can mess things up as you probably know. Your husband may not be ready yet. You may have to continually break him down, don't give up if you are determined. I'm sure you have creative seductive ways in accomplishing your goals.
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Mirel

Chicago, IL

#9 Jan 25, 2009
thanks Angel-
He got C-pap which makes him look a bit alien-like but seems to help. He is definitely less grumpy! He also just recovered from a broken ankle after six weeks. He is so into his work (law) that it took him quite a while to adjust. But I think this time of forced inactivity (to a degree) has mellowed him - he's gotten very rigid over the years, which is not at all like he used to be.
He knows I'm pretty much bisexual, I just don't know how to tell him how much more I'm inclined to women. I don't know - I feel much more guilty for having cheated once years ago with a guy, then I do for this long with her. I just feel we became good friends and can please each other. For some reason when there's no (actual) co*ks or messy c@m involved, it feels like less serious - I guess that was the point of the question in a way.
I think being earlier in our relationship kinkier - that's the real him, the "new" is based on circumstance. So I hope once this clears up some of that will return. I don't want to hurt him, but even though its not his fault I feel hurt and neglected. And since I was a teen, I always acted out sexually in bad times, although thats improved. I just want to sound everyone out - thanks for your take...
Oh yeah

Aurora, IL

#10 Jan 25, 2009
Your husband is a lucky guy, but if he gets mad call me. I can go 2 rounds, or just watch, what ever is your pleasure!!
RealityDealer

Columbus, OH

#11 Jan 25, 2009
Mirel wrote:
I'm a married bisexual woman, age 40, mom of five. For almost four years I've had a younger, single lesbian lover (age 27). My husband and I have been at odds in general lately, but esp. sexually. He's been really uninterested, but things have begun to improve (ex.- he was diagnosed w/ sleep apnea, which can affect sex drive w/ fatigue, etc.). He was more wild and kinky early on. I've tried to sound him out on a threesome, no luck at the time.
Wondering the reaction of husbands if you walked in on your wife frolicking w/ another lovely lady, where both invite you to join. Would you be revolted, betrayed, ecstatic, confused, etc.? Would it be diff. then walking in on her w/ a guy, or not really? Any suggestions on my situation...
It seems like your husband is sexually inhibited or has a much lower sex drive than you.

I do not think it would be a good idea for your husband to walk in on you having lesbian sex. He would probably freak out and feel betrayed.

It would probably be better to:

1. Keep bringing up the idea and get him to agree.

2. Introduce him to your lesbian girlfriend and see how he likes her.

Have her come on to him a bit to help thing along. However, this requires for you not to get jealous, and if you do than you may not be mature enough or have the ability to handle the 3-way.

Anyway, if he shows sexual interest in your lesbian girlfriend and you show approval, than you can suggest a 3-way with him involved.
RealityDealer

Columbus, OH

#12 Jan 25, 2009
Mirel wrote:
<quoted text>
I've tried this somewhat - he is definitely turned on by her (who the hell wouldn't be) but I think he's afraid of the implications and consequences. Both he and she are submissive, while I am dominant - I'm not sure if or where that fits into the puzzle...
You being more dominant, means that a lot of the success will be based on you.

You would have to SHOW APPROVAL of your husband and your lesbian girlfriend to have sex.

You would have to convince your husband that he can TRUST you. His fear of the "implications and consequences", may be based on his belief that you will; cause trouble, are trying to trick him, or that you will use this relationship against him in the future. You may need to show that you have good intentions, are trustworthy, and simply want to have more sexual fun.

You would have to help bring the relationship along from good mannered acquaintances to sexual partners.

Without you giving the "green light" and helping things along, 2 submissive or hesitant people would just never doing anything.
Love to join in

Bloomington, IN

#13 Apr 10, 2009
Mirel wrote:
I'm a married bisexual woman, age 40, mom of five. For almost four years I've had a younger, single lesbian lover (age 27). My husband and I have been at odds in general lately, but esp. sexually. He's been really uninterested, but things have begun to improve (ex.- he was diagnosed w/ sleep apnea, which can affect sex drive w/ fatigue, etc.). He was more wild and kinky early on. I've tried to sound him out on a threesome, no luck at the time.
Wondering the reaction of husbands if you walked in on your wife frolicking w/ another lovely lady, where both invite you to join. Would you be revolted, betrayed, ecstatic, confused, etc.? Would it be diff. then walking in on her w/ a guy, or not really? Any suggestions on my situation...
I would love to join in! I would not feel betrayed if my wife were doing another woman.

If she were doing another M/F couple with ANY contact with the man, I would feel betrayed.

If I discovered her doing a man or men by herself, I'd definitely feel betrayed about that one.

If my wife were doing another woman, that would be fine. I would only feel betrayed if she were doing another man or men. That's just me, though...
Lax

Naperville, IL

#14 Jan 6, 2010
any 1 wanna skype chat
BiMilf

Troy, NC

#15 Jan 6, 2010
Mirel wrote:
I'm a married bisexual woman, age 40, mom of five. For almost four years I've had a younger, single lesbian lover (age 27). My husband and I have been at odds in general lately, but esp. sexually. He's been really uninterested, but things have begun to improve (ex.- he was diagnosed w/ sleep apnea, which can affect sex drive w/ fatigue, etc.). He was more wild and kinky early on. I've tried to sound him out on a threesome, no luck at the time.
Wondering the reaction of husbands if you walked in on your wife frolicking w/ another lovely lady, where both invite you to join. Would you be revolted, betrayed, ecstatic, confused, etc.? Would it be diff. then walking in on her w/ a guy, or not really? Any suggestions on my situation...
Two very close friends had similar situations, in both all three knew each other, where friends and the Gfs were single but the husbands didn’t know. One friend planned an evening at the house for the three of them. With the kids gone for the weekend and no interruptions, her and the GF started slow with light teasing, flirting and the conversation having sexual overtones. On the couch with him between them they succeeded to get a positive reaction from him. Before the weekend was over they had sex several times and she didn’t have to say a word to tell him, he loved it. The other friend planned a weekend get away for the three of them which was not unusual for the three of them to get away for the weekend. After they returned from diner, they used the same method as my first friend did. Same results, in both circumstances after the husband found out how long and why they held off from telling them, there wasn’t any problems. Fortunately my husband knew before we were married, he knows, understands and is included most of the time.:)~
BiMilf

Troy, NC

#16 Jan 7, 2010
Another friend is a bit more devious, playful and sneaky. She had some special friends and had been keeping it from her husband. She felt the need to tell him and include him, just didn’t know how or when. She set up a plan. Using one of there games, she has a four poster bed, she restrains him to the post at the end of the bed then blind folds him, he listens to her then watches her masturbate. This time conspiring with her special friend, using text messaging, timing is everything. She restrained and blind folded him, her friend quietly went into the house then into the room he didn’t know or expect anything out of the ordinary. She removed his blind fold but not his restraints, he watched then later was included. Perhaps slightly too daring and courageous for some, that was a awesome night, the surprise aspect is exhilarating. The three remain good friends and she has also brought in other special friends. Good luck and have fun.

Since: Dec 09

Tallahassee, FL

#17 Jan 7, 2010
Mirel wrote:
I'm a married bisexual woman, age 40, mom of five. For almost four years I've had a younger, single lesbian lover (age 27). My husband and I have been at odds in general lately, but esp. sexually. He's been really uninterested, but things have begun to improve (ex.- he was diagnosed w/ sleep apnea, which can affect sex drive w/ fatigue, etc.). He was more wild and kinky early on. I've tried to sound him out on a threesome, no luck at the time.
Wondering the reaction of husbands if you walked in on your wife frolicking w/ another lovely lady, where both invite you to join. Would you be revolted, betrayed, ecstatic, confused, etc.? Would it be diff. then walking in on her w/ a guy, or not really? Any suggestions on my situation...
My wife would not be interested in having a female sexual partner, but if she were and I walked in on them in your situation it would interest me, particularly if both women wanted to have a threesome. I happen to think that threesomes might be better with 1 woman and 2 guys, but that's another issue. I have tried to gently ask my wife about having a MFM with no luck - she is worried about what it would do to friendships if the other guy was a friend, etc. What you are offering him is a male fantasy - two willing women in bed at the same time - so what's up? Has he been checked for low testosterone? I would suggest a frank discussion one on one that you love and care for him and want this for you and the relationship. If he sees how important it is to you maybe he will warm up to the idea. Maybe you can suggest letting him watch?

Since: Oct 08

Location hidden

#18 Jan 7, 2010
Mirel wrote:
I'm a married bisexual woman, age 40, mom of five. For almost four years I've had a younger, single lesbian lover (age 27). My husband and I have been at odds in general lately, but esp. sexually. He's been really uninterested, but things have begun to improve (ex.- he was diagnosed w/ sleep apnea, which can affect sex drive w/ fatigue, etc.). He was more wild and kinky early on. I've tried to sound him out on a threesome, no luck at the time.
Wondering the reaction of husbands if you walked in on your wife frolicking w/ another lovely lady, where both invite you to join. Would you be revolted, betrayed, ecstatic, confused, etc.? Would it be diff. then walking in on her w/ a guy, or not really? Any suggestions on my situation...
I'd call him LUCKY....

Since: Jan 07

Northeast, Ohio

#19 Jan 7, 2010
While the threesome idea is intriguing and I'm sure if I were in that situation I'd be tempted enough to just hop in and get started, the long term affair may raises other issues.

I think the suprise idea may not be the way to go with him and just telling him its a fantasy of yours up fornt is a better way to go.

Since: Oct 09

Location hidden

#20 Jan 7, 2010
tidho wrote:
While the threesome idea is intriguing and I'm sure if I were in that situation I'd be tempted enough to just hop in and get started, the long term affair may raises other issues.
I think the suprise idea may not be the way to go with him and just telling him its a fantasy of yours up fornt is a better way to go.
Thank you Doctor.

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