Why do I feel so used & cheap after sex

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Tam

UK

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#1
May 25, 2009
 
I love having sex with different men, nsa sex. Although I may enjoy the experience, afterwards I always come away feeling upset, like I have lost a part of myself. I dont expect anything from the guy, because it was nsa, but I just feel cheap and used. I don't really want a relationship at the moment, and dont expect these guys to wanna see me again. Why do i feel like this?

Since: Jun 08

UK

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#2
May 25, 2009
 
Tam wrote:
I love having sex with different men, nsa sex. Although I may enjoy the experience, afterwards I always come away feeling upset, like I have lost a part of myself. I dont expect anything from the guy, because it was nsa, but I just feel cheap and used. I don't really want a relationship at the moment, and dont expect these guys to wanna see me again. Why do i feel like this?
You're just one of those people who aren't cut out for one night stands.

I'm a bit like that myself. I think more than 50% of people, male and female, are the same.

“I want a piece of that steak”

Since: Apr 07

Tazmania

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#3
May 25, 2009
 
Tam wrote:
I love having sex with different men, nsa sex. Although I may enjoy the experience, afterwards I always come away feeling upset, like I have lost a part of myself. I dont expect anything from the guy, because it was nsa, but I just feel cheap and used. I don't really want a relationship at the moment, and dont expect these guys to wanna see me again. Why do i feel like this?
It could be because if you don't care about the person or love him it's just sex with without passion. You really have to like someone very much or love them to really feel good about having sex with them otherwise it could be a very empty feeling.
slip-n-slide

Arnprior, Canada

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#4
May 25, 2009
 
Tam wrote:
I love having sex with different men, nsa sex. Although I may enjoy the experience, afterwards I always come away feeling upset, like I have lost a part of myself. I dont expect anything from the guy, because it was nsa, but I just feel cheap and used. I don't really want a relationship at the moment, and dont expect these guys to wanna see me again. Why do i feel like this?
Maybe not worry about why. Just don't do that anymore and then you don't have to figure it out. Does it matter why it hurts to touch the hot stove? No, you just don't do it because you know it hurts.

Since: Feb 09

Bolivar, OH

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#5
May 25, 2009
 

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It's a blow to our egoes when when we believe someone doesn't want to see us again, particularly after we've had sex with him/her. I think we all like to believe that we are so charming and charismatic that people couldn't help but love us if they got to know us, and when they don't come clamoring back for more after we've had sex with them it feels like rejection, even if it's mutual.

I'm not sure there is any way around it. I would venture to guess that even the most insatiable, lascivious people fall prey to those feelings from time to time.

“4 out of 3 people have...”

Since: May 09

trouble with fractions.

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#6
May 25, 2009
 
Tam wrote:
I love having sex with different men, nsa sex. Although I may enjoy the experience, afterwards I always come away feeling upset, like I have lost a part of myself. I dont expect anything from the guy, because it was nsa, but I just feel cheap and used. I don't really want a relationship at the moment, and dont expect these guys to wanna see me again. Why do i feel like this?
My dear, there is no such thing as sex with NSA. Sex is the most personal act you will ever have with another person. You leave a part of yourself with that person and take a part of them with you.

You may think you left with NSA, but in reality you didn't. If so, you wouldn't be feeling you left part of yourself behind, cheap and used.

Find someone you have real feelings for. There will be no guilt. Sex is so much nicer with someone you love.:)

“I want a piece of that steak”

Since: Apr 07

Tazmania

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#7
May 25, 2009
 
_Zoey_ wrote:
<quoted text>
My dear, there is no such thing as sex with NSA. Sex is the most personal act you will ever have with another person. You leave a part of yourself with that person and take a part of them with you.
You may think you left with NSA, but in reality you didn't. If so, you wouldn't be feeling you left part of yourself behind, cheap and used.
Find someone you have real feelings for. There will be no guilt. Sex is so much nicer with someone you love.:)
Nice post, that's the only way to go. She might be a good person with a conscience.

“4 out of 3 people have...”

Since: May 09

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#8
May 25, 2009
 
Thanks kickback. I learned early on casual sex wasn't all it was cracked up to be. It's nice to see I'm not the only one with those feelings.
Join Free

“I want a piece of that steak”

Since: Apr 07

Tazmania

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#9
May 25, 2009
 

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_Zoey_ wrote:
Thanks kickback. I learned early on casual sex wasn't all it was cracked up to be. It's nice to see I'm not the only one with those feelings.
You're welcome, even men can feel the same way but it's probably worse for women. There is alot of peer pressure for teens to have sex or some kind of urge especially. I don't know if she's a teen but that happens alot also.

“4 out of 3 people have...”

Since: May 09

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#10
May 25, 2009
 
Speaking as a woman, I think it is worse for us. Most men (obviously not all) act from peer pressure too. They listen to their buddies sex antics (whether true or not) and think there must be something wrong with them if they're not promiscuous too. Kinda like "keeping up with the Jone's type of thing.

It's sad that individuality has gone by the wayside.

“I want a piece of that steak”

Since: Apr 07

Tazmania

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#11
May 25, 2009
 
_Zoey_ wrote:
Speaking as a woman, I think it is worse for us. Most men (obviously not all) act from peer pressure too. They listen to their buddies sex antics (whether true or not) and think there must be something wrong with them if they're not promiscuous too. Kinda like "keeping up with the Jone's type of thing.
It's sad that individuality has gone by the wayside.
I sure couldn't have said that any better. That was great and very observant. Yes I do also agree that it's probably worse for women, I don't know why exactly. What do you think the reason for that is? I think it might have to do with idea of a woman possibly taken care of a child or something like that but I don't know for sure.

“4 out of 3 people have...”

Since: May 09

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#13
May 25, 2009
 
If I could answer that question kickback, I could solve the worlds financial crisis. lol

Everyone has their own reasons for having sex. Love, attention, revenge, procreation, acceptance and the list goes on. We're sexual beings so some don't have to have a reason. Some do it because it just feels good and that's ok too if you can deal with the consequences.
Kermit the frog

Cagua, Venezuela

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#14
May 25, 2009
 
_Zoey_ I think you won't be able to answer many questions in the next couples of months like what your going to do with your own life.

“I want a piece of that steak”

Since: Apr 07

Tazmania

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#15
May 25, 2009
 
_Zoey_ wrote:
If I could answer that question kickback, I could solve the worlds financial crisis. lol
Everyone has their own reasons for having sex. Love, attention, revenge, procreation, acceptance and the list goes on. We're sexual beings so some don't have to have a reason. Some do it because it just feels good and that's ok too if you can deal with the consequences.
Another good answer, I feel like I'm in above my head. How do you like Zionsville?

“4 out of 3 people have...”

Since: May 09

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#16
May 25, 2009
 
Kermit the frog wrote:
_Zoey_ I think you won't be able to answer many questions in the next couples of months like what your going to do with your own life.
I'm not sure I understand your question, Kermit. Could you elaborate?
Kermit the frog

Cagua, Venezuela

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#17
May 25, 2009
 
kickback wrote:
<quoted text>
Another good answer, I feel like I'm in above my head. How do you like Zionsville?
Ohh yes your part of our team ,lol I remember you !

“4 out of 3 people have...”

Since: May 09

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#18
May 25, 2009
 
kickback wrote:
<quoted text>
Another good answer, I feel like I'm in above my head. How do you like Zionsville?
Zionsville is nice. I don't get there too often. I'm about 60 miles away. There's some great shopping there though.

You're familiar with Zionsville?
KissandTell

Cagua, Venezuela

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#19
May 25, 2009
 
_Zoey_ wrote:
<quoted text>
Zionsville is nice. I don't get there too often. I'm about 60 miles away. There's some great shopping there though.
You're familiar with Zionsville?
Hi this is KissandTell may I join you here?

Peace be with you all!!!

“I want a piece of that steak”

Since: Apr 07

Tazmania

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#20
May 25, 2009
 
_Zoey_ wrote:
<quoted text>
Zionsville is nice. I don't get there too often. I'm about 60 miles away. There's some great shopping there though.
You're familiar with Zionsville?
I was there for about two weeks, it sure was cold though. They have a nice steak house and many stores. I think I was on 82nd street but it was ok, the people were very kool for the most part.
flyboy

Richmond, VA

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#21
Jun 7, 2009
 
Tam wrote:
I love having sex with different men, nsa sex. Although I may enjoy the experience, afterwards I always come away feeling upset, like I have lost a part of myself. I dont expect anything from the guy, because it was nsa, but I just feel cheap and used. I don't really want a relationship at the moment, and dont expect these guys to wanna see me again. Why do i feel like this?
You arent someone to have one night stands and feel good about yourself. You need something more, something with more meaning and not just be piece of meat for these men. Maybe you should find one FB you like to have sex with, instead of several men. Or maybe you just need to find one guy who you actually have feelings for and have meaningful sex with a meaningful person.

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