I think my son is gay, what should I do?

Since: Mar 09

Location hidden

#252 Aug 28, 2012
Coolguy wrote:
I think my son is gay, what should I do?
That is a common question that I get asked a lot. and here is what i have to say to that.
For most parents, that is the biggest question "is my child gay?" But my question to you is "what difference does it make?" Let me tell you something, if you suspect that your child is gay, most likely they are. And you need to understand that its something they can't change no matter how many conversion camps you send them to. You have to accept it. For more information on what to do, what your child fears and more please read http://inacloset.blogspot.com/ .If you have any more questions please message me.
Coolguy4192@yahoo.com
I'm trying to start a support group, thanks for your support.
There already IS one. It's called pflag.org

Check it out.

Since: Mar 09

Location hidden

#253 Aug 28, 2012
Seraphina wrote:
<quoted text>
WOW. Your son is one lucky kid. You should definitely preach at support groups, you could probably help tons of boys like yours. I my self am a gay child, I looked on this website to see how most parents deal with having a gay kid.
Again, pflag.org
mike

Westerly, RI

#254 Mar 19, 2013
I'm not mad really confused like I did something wrong in my sons life he was molested do u think that's why I just got dun doing 10 years for the person who did it my son is 18 now we talked about it I'm ok with it don't love him any less just woundering if that has a part?

Since: Mar 09

Location hidden

#255 Mar 19, 2013
mike wrote:
I'm not mad really confused like I did something wrong in my sons life he was molested do u think that's why I just got dun doing 10 years for the person who did it my son is 18 now we talked about it I'm ok with it don't love him any less just woundering if that has a part?
Molestation can create molesters (at least if they don't work out their issues), not gay people.
Jota

Kissimmee, FL

#256 May 4, 2013
I divorced my wife when my son was 3 and shared 2 days a month with him for several years, then when he turned 11 I moved out to another country and kept a phone relation and once a year visit on vacations. Time passed by quickly and at 15 he fell in love with a school girl who 2 years later dumped him for a wealthier kid, she broke my son's heart. Now my son is 21 but since he turned 18 I've suspected he's gay but neither him or I have ever talked about it. I'm kind of in denial but I love my son and respect him because he has taken his college seriously and is responsible and committed, I confess this doesn't make me happy but I think I can live with it for my son's sake... I've kind of waited for him to tell me but he doesn't seem to want to tell me. what should I do? should I ask him or just keep showing him I love him, support him and wait until the day comes?

Since: Mar 09

Location hidden

#257 May 4, 2013
Jota wrote:
I divorced my wife when my son was 3 and shared 2 days a month with him for several years, then when he turned 11 I moved out to another country and kept a phone relation and once a year visit on vacations. Time passed by quickly and at 15 he fell in love with a school girl who 2 years later dumped him for a wealthier kid, she broke my son's heart. Now my son is 21 but since he turned 18 I've suspected he's gay but neither him or I have ever talked about it. I'm kind of in denial but I love my son and respect him because he has taken his college seriously and is responsible and committed, I confess this doesn't make me happy but I think I can live with it for my son's sake... I've kind of waited for him to tell me but he doesn't seem to want to tell me. what should I do? should I ask him or just keep showing him I love him, support him and wait until the day comes?
Regardless, it's HIS life ... not yours.

If he chooses to share it with you, feel honored.

That is what respect means, and it sounds like he deserves it.
My Love

Philadelphia, PA

#259 Jun 13, 2013
Resist Ignorance wrote:
I had suspected for a long time that my son was gay so I learned as much as I could about homosexuality. I also lurked/posted on this and other gay forums in order to get to know about the LGBT community. When he finally came out last year, my response was, "Yeah, I know. So"?
I just don't understand how some parents can feel hate and anger toward their child just because they're gay. They are the same person one second after they come out they they were one second before.
I also think my 13 year old son is gay! He is my everything. I want to help him even though I am also hurting. I tried talking to him and told him that he could count on me always no matter what. I asked him do you have a boy friend or girl friend he said no. His facial expression changed to me it seems as if he was sad. I told him I am his mom and I will always be there for him. He said he was find got up and walked away. Fixing his computer I found male pictures in his computer and a conversation he shared about a dream he had and that he wished he could have the same dream again. I need help. I do not know how to help him and I know he is hurting! I have a heavy heart at the moment and all I want to do is cry for him and for me..
My Love

Philadelphia, PA

#260 Jun 13, 2013
I also think my 13 year old son is gay! He is my everything. I want to help him even though I am also hurting. I tried talking to him and told him that he could count on me always no matter what. I asked him do you have a boy friend or girl friend he said no. His facial expression changed to me it seems as if he was sad. I told him I am his mom and I will always be there for him. He said he was find got up and walked away. Fixing his computer I found male pictures in his computer and a conversation he shared about a dream he had and that he wished he could have the same dream again. I need help. I do not know how to help him and I know he is hurting! I have a heavy heart at the moment and all I want to do is cry for him and for me..
My Love

Philadelphia, PA

#262 Jun 13, 2013
TrueBlood wrote:
<quoted text>
Sad, I feel your pain, and his, cause there's nothing worse than a filthy Queer.
Wow! I see your still stuck in the past! God loves all regardless of there sexual preference. This is why I hurt! Because of people like you! Ignorance does not help the situation!

If you don't have any positive feed back keep it to your self!

And my God enlighten you while you sleep!

“What Goes Around, Comes Around”

Since: Mar 07

Kansas City, MO.

#263 Jun 13, 2013
My Love wrote:
<quoted text>
Wow! I see your still stuck in the past! God loves all regardless of there sexual preference. This is why I hurt! Because of people like you! Ignorance does not help the situation!
If you don't have any positive feed back keep it to your self!
And my God enlighten you while you sleep!
Ignore resident trolls like that. They go by 100 different names and cities. They thrive on the negetive attention.

Since: Mar 09

Location hidden

#265 Jun 13, 2013
My Love wrote:
I also think my 13 year old son is gay! He is my everything. I want to help him even though I am also hurting. I tried talking to him and told him that he could count on me always no matter what. I asked him do you have a boy friend or girl friend he said no. His facial expression changed to me it seems as if he was sad. I told him I am his mom and I will always be there for him. He said he was find got up and walked away. Fixing his computer I found male pictures in his computer and a conversation he shared about a dream he had and that he wished he could have the same dream again. I need help. I do not know how to help him and I know he is hurting! I have a heavy heart at the moment and all I want to do is cry for him and for me..
I noticed something.

Why are you "hurting"?

Go here pflag.org to begin to understand and heal your own hurt. He's too young to have to bear it on top of the problems of adolescence.

In the meantime, remind him that sex and eroticism aren't everything. Popular media and marketing agencies' assertions to the contrary, other aspects of life are far more important to a life of happiness. Remind him that, gay or hetero, adolescence is about learning to keep focus, and to keep things in balance while the body changes over the next decade.

What will matter in the longterm will be what he has to show for ten years of life at the end of adolescence.

Help him with his homework.

“Nothing Going On But The Rent”

Since: Jun 13

Location hidden

#266 Jun 14, 2013
For women, there is nothing worse than not being able to be comfortable in our own skin. I think that it might not be that different for a man. Love your son as you always have. Help him to remain comfortable in his own skin. He will have plenty of obstacles along the way and will need to know that you still have his back. If one of my son's came to me and told me that he was gay, I would embrace him, and support him and his man in any way that I could. Nothing could ever change the way I feel about my sons.
My Love

Philadelphia, PA

#267 Jun 17, 2013
snyper wrote:
<quoted text>
I noticed something.
Why are you "hurting"?
Go here pflag.org to begin to understand and heal your own hurt. He's too young to have to bear it on top of the problems of adolescence.
In the meantime, remind him that sex and eroticism aren't everything. Popular media and marketing agencies' assertions to the contrary, other aspects of life are far more important to a life of happiness. Remind him that, gay or hetero, adolescence is about learning to keep focus, and to keep things in balance while the body changes over the next decade.
What will matter in the longterm will be what he has to show for ten years of life at the end of adolescence.
Help him with his homework.
Thank you so much!
My Love

Philadelphia, PA

#268 Jun 17, 2013
AmyBabyinWV wrote:
For women, there is nothing worse than not being able to be comfortable in our own skin. I think that it might not be that different for a man. Love your son as you always have. Help him to remain comfortable in his own skin. He will have plenty of obstacles along the way and will need to know that you still have his back. If one of my son's came to me and told me that he was gay, I would embrace him, and support him and his man in any way that I could. Nothing could ever change the way I feel about my sons.
Thank you...
Rainbow Kid

Alpharetta, GA

#269 Jun 17, 2013
Jota wrote:
I divorced my wife when my son was 3 and shared 2 days a month with him for several years, then when he turned 11 I moved out to another country and kept a phone relation and once a year visit on vacations. Time passed by quickly and at 15 he fell in love with a school girl who 2 years later dumped him for a wealthier kid, she broke my son's heart. Now my son is 21 but since he turned 18 I've suspected he's gay but neither him or I have ever talked about it. I'm kind of in denial but I love my son and respect him because he has taken his college seriously and is responsible and committed, I confess this doesn't make me happy but I think I can live with it for my son's sake... I've kind of waited for him to tell me but he doesn't seem to want to tell me. what should I do? should I ask him or just keep showing him I love him, support him and wait until the day comes?
Unless you're planning to have sex with him; your son's sex orientation is positively and absolutely none of your business
.
As a divorcee; you really should concentrate on your own relationships with other people your age
.
Get the drift?

Since: Mar 09

Location hidden

#270 Jun 17, 2013
Rainbow Kid wrote:
<quoted text>
Unless you're planning to have sex with him; your son's sex orientation is positively and absolutely none of your business
.
As a divorcee; you really should concentrate on your own relationships with other people your age
.
Get the drift?
So much for loving parenting.

Sometimes you come off with some of the most ridiculous crap!
Rainbow Kid

Alpharetta, GA

#272 Jun 18, 2013
snyper wrote:
<quoted text>
So much for loving parenting.
Sometimes you come off with some of the most ridiculous crap!
Hon; Jota's son is a 21 year-old grown man who has lived in a different country from Jota for the last 10 years
.
Its time for Jota to land the helicopter

Since: Mar 09

Location hidden

#273 Jun 18, 2013
Rainbow Kid wrote:
<quoted text>
Hon; Jota's son is a 21 year-old grown man who has lived in a different country from Jota for the last 10 years
.
Its time for Jota to land the helicopter
A cold shoulder is not the solution. pflag.org is.

A supportive family member or friend is far better than "mind your own business".

You need to work out your resentments, boyo. A line doesn't need to be drawn in the sand at every turn. That's isolationist and heals nothing. If that isn't your first thought, it's time for the next step in your coming out/liberation process. Dig inside and find out what motivates the combative impulse ... and heal it.
Rainbow Kid

Alpharetta, GA

#274 Jun 18, 2013
snyper wrote:
<quoted text>
A cold shoulder is not the solution. pflag.org is.
A supportive family member or friend is far better than "mind your own business".
You need to work out your resentments, boyo. A line doesn't need to be drawn in the sand at every turn. That's isolationist and heals nothing. If that isn't your first thought, it's time for the next step in your coming out/liberation process. Dig inside and find out what motivates the combative impulse ... and heal it.
I don't take sides with abusive parents who are looking for ways to sugar-coat their deliberate mistreatment of their own adult children
.
Pflag? sweet; but the parents have to be genuinely open minded and yearning to fit in

Since: Mar 09

Location hidden

#276 Jun 18, 2013
Rainbow Kid wrote:
<quoted text>
I don't take sides with abusive parents who are looking for ways to sugar-coat their deliberate mistreatment of their own adult children
.
Pflag? sweet; but the parents have to be genuinely open minded and yearning to fit in
No evidence of that, yet still you ear that ... or perhaps look for it?

Time to continue with the coming out/liberation process.

pflag.org is far better at helping parent of gays than you are. You seem to wear your hurts on your sleeve. C'mon. That's too neurotic for you. See it. Admit it. Get over it.

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