'I was disgusted by gays:' Cory Booker explains how he overcame his sheer hatred for homosexuality

Jan 10, 2013 | Posted by: Rick in Kansas | Full story: www.dailymail.co.uk

Newark Mayor Cory Booker struggled with severe homophobia as a young man, a fact which he documented in great detail in an opinion piece for his college newspaper 20 years ago.

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“Headed toward the cliff”

Since: Nov 07

Tawas City, Michigan

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#173
Jan 17, 2013
 

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straight shooter wrote:
<quoted text>
seriously, I am...
I am not focused on the act at all, I am focused on what is "attraction".
If you see someone and you want to "do them" (for lack of a better term) is that not "attraction"?
am I wrong to focus orientation on attraction?
Also, of course i would say this, but I am not at all insecure about my sexuality. Believe it or not, I have gay friends, and have had gay roommates (and many offers). I just don't feel any "attraction" at all. Frankly I think the male body is repulsive while the female curves are pure art....
if there is a split between sex acts and attraction as I think you are suggesting, doesn't that then open the door to the argument that the attraction is not a choice but the sex act is?
or I could just be way off base here...
See, I suspected you could figure it out.

Of course individual sexual acts are 100% choice- regardless of which gender is doing what to whom, but the underlying attraction isn't.

The way you feel about women is exactly how I feel about men; others are somewhere between the 2 extremes. While I can appreciate the physical beauty of a woman (obviously subconsciously influenced by what society considers "beautiful"), I have no physical or emotional attraction to them; only men do that for me. That's what makes me gay and you straight.

As a male you can obviously understand that physical stimulation- even just friction- can cause arousal. That's how straight men can physically have sex with another man or a gay man can physically have sex with a woman in spite of feeling no actual "attraction". Usually a lot of alcohol is involved to lower ones natural inhibitions. C'mon, didn't you ever go to college?

Unique to many gays & lesbians is the additional social pressure to "fit in", which is why a significant majority of us have had heterosexual encounters inspite of being "as gay as the day is long". Thankfully that is becoming less of an issue for the current young generation. My nephew knew he was gay from the moment he hit puberty and because his family & friends accepted him as such, he's never experienced that societal pressure to be something he knew deep down he's not. He is now serving with the Marines and recently married to his high school sweetheart. Acceptance has never been an issue for his generation; half his plattoon (all heteros) was in his wedding party.

“Headed toward the cliff”

Since: Nov 07

Tawas City, Michigan

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#174
Jan 17, 2013
 

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straight shooter wrote:
<quoted text>
I would say an attraction to ONLY the opposite sex. or so i thought, but I wonder what you guys think it is?
I would think a man who is attracted to other males for sex would be gay, but I am hearing that makes me something like a bigot...
It only makes you a bigot if you use such thoughts to disciminate against others, or if you refuse to even consider any other possibility or alternative belief.

So no, I wouldn't say you're being a bigot; just that you are obviously ignorant (not meant as an insult) on this subject.

I'd say the majority of straight men are the same. It's just not something you'd normally spend a lot of time thinking about, until issues like this come up.

When issues like same-sex couples getting married comes up, most straight guys just shudder at the thought of having sex with another dude, but then move on. A few of the hateful will focus (obsess) solely on the sexual act like a dog on a bone (pun intended) and see nothing else.

Unless you've lived through it, we don't expect anyone else to understand 100% or even agree 100%, we only ask that you keep an open mind and not condem us to burn in hell for all eternity......
straight shooter

Bellows Falls, VT

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#175
Jan 17, 2013
 

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WeTheSheeple wrote:
<quoted text>
See, I suspected you could figure it out.
Of course individual sexual acts are 100% choice- regardless of which gender is doing what to whom, but the underlying attraction isn't.
The way you feel about women is exactly how I feel about men; others are somewhere between the 2 extremes. While I can appreciate the physical beauty of a woman (obviously subconsciously influenced by what society considers "beautiful"), I have no physical or emotional attraction to them; only men do that for me. That's what makes me gay and you straight.
As a male you can obviously understand that physical stimulation- even just friction- can cause arousal. That's how straight men can physically have sex with another man or a gay man can physically have sex with a woman in spite of feeling no actual "attraction". Usually a lot of alcohol is involved to lower ones natural inhibitions. C'mon, didn't you ever go to college?
Unique to many gays & lesbians is the additional social pressure to "fit in", which is why a significant majority of us have had heterosexual encounters inspite of being "as gay as the day is long". Thankfully that is becoming less of an issue for the current young generation. My nephew knew he was gay from the moment he hit puberty and because his family & friends accepted him as such, he's never experienced that societal pressure to be something he knew deep down he's not. He is now serving with the Marines and recently married to his high school sweetheart. Acceptance has never been an issue for his generation; half his plattoon (all heteros) was in his wedding party.
alright, but if you pine for a man to come "do you" how can that be "straight"?
I would define that as "attraction".

If you were repulsed while you did it, I can follow, but if you WANTED it, I would argue you are attracted...

that alcohol removes inhibitions means you allow your attraction to take hold...

i really feel like we are splitting very fine hairs for no meaningful gain here....
straight shooter

Bellows Falls, VT

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#176
Jan 17, 2013
 

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WeTheSheeple wrote:
<quoted text>
It only makes you a bigot if you use such thoughts to disciminate against others, or if you refuse to even consider any other possibility or alternative belief.
So no, I wouldn't say you're being a bigot; just that you are obviously ignorant (not meant as an insult) on this subject.
I'd say the majority of straight men are the same. It's just not something you'd normally spend a lot of time thinking about, until issues like this come up.
When issues like same-sex couples getting married comes up, most straight guys just shudder at the thought of having sex with another dude, but then move on. A few of the hateful will focus (obsess) solely on the sexual act like a dog on a bone (pun intended) and see nothing else.
Unless you've lived through it, we don't expect anyone else to understand 100% or even agree 100%, we only ask that you keep an open mind and not condem us to burn in hell for all eternity......
okay, but your last line makes me think that i can argue that you don't understand straight relationships and therefore are not in a position to say they are the "same".

I'm not into arguing all that stuff you mentioned...
Quite the contrary, my wife has taught me a lot about women and how they think (which is very different from men in general) and that is very different and much deeper than what I learned from girlfriends, female friends, my sisters or even my mother...)
And the fact that you relationships do not do that to me is a significant DIFFERENCE, for all I know its an advantage to you in making your relationships potentially less volatile...(in general again)
but a difference nonetheless.

“Headed toward the cliff”

Since: Nov 07

Tawas City, Michigan

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#177
Jan 17, 2013
 

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straight shooter wrote:
<quoted text>
alright, but if you pine for a man to come "do you" how can that be "straight"?
I would define that as "attraction".
If you were repulsed while you did it, I can follow, but if you WANTED it, I would argue you are attracted...
that alcohol removes inhibitions means you allow your attraction to take hold...
i really feel like we are splitting very fine hairs for no meaningful gain here....
It's meaningful because the anti-gays try to use that as proof that sexual orientation is a choice and therefore not entitled to the same legal treatment as things which aren't a choice. Of course they always seem to overlook the fact that religion is a choice, but that's another argument for another day.

I'm just saying people can enjoy a physical pleasure without there being any actual attraction.

If I can get off dry humping a pillow because of the friction, does that mean I'm sexually attracted to pillows?

Obviously some people use that as an excuse to hide their actual attractions because they're not ready to admit they're gay, but that old cliche is becoming less common as varieties in sexual orienation are more accepted by society.

“Headed toward the cliff”

Since: Nov 07

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#178
Jan 17, 2013
 

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straight shooter wrote:
<quoted text>
okay, but your last line makes me think that i can argue that you don't understand straight relationships and therefore are not in a position to say they are the "same".
The difference being most gays & lesbians HAVE had "straight relationships" and we've certainly lived in a society which has embraced and supported (and nearly mandated) straight relationships.

The same can't be said for straights having much experience with gay relationships in a society which primarily embraces gay relationships.

That kinda gives us the edge in that one.

“Headed toward the cliff”

Since: Nov 07

Tawas City, Michigan

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#179
Jan 17, 2013
 
straight shooter wrote:
<quoted text>
alright, but if you pine for a man to come "do you" how can that be "straight"?
I would define that as "attraction".
If you were repulsed while you did it, I can follow, but if you WANTED it, I would argue you are attracted...
that alcohol removes inhibitions means you allow your attraction to take hold...
i really feel like we are splitting very fine hairs for no meaningful gain here....
"....pine for a man....." ?

Are you SURE you're not even a little gay??(a joke)
straight shooter

Bellows Falls, VT

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#180
Jan 18, 2013
 
WeTheSheeple wrote:
<quoted text>
It's meaningful because the anti-gays try to use that as proof that sexual orientation is a choice and therefore not entitled to the same legal treatment as things which aren't a choice. Of course they always seem to overlook the fact that religion is a choice, but that's another argument for another day.
I'm just saying people can enjoy a physical pleasure without there being any actual attraction.
If I can get off dry humping a pillow because of the friction, does that mean I'm sexually attracted to pillows?
Obviously some people use that as an excuse to hide their actual attractions because they're not ready to admit they're gay, but that old cliche is becoming less common as varieties in sexual orienation are more accepted by society.
I get what you mean, but these guys were talking about being a bottom!
to me, there is a big difference...
straight shooter

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#181
Jan 18, 2013
 
WeTheSheeple wrote:
<quoted text>
The difference being most gays & lesbians HAVE had "straight relationships" and we've certainly lived in a society which has embraced and supported (and nearly mandated) straight relationships.
The same can't be said for straights having much experience with gay relationships in a society which primarily embraces gay relationships.
That kinda gives us the edge in that one.
not to me given that you WERE gay... meaning there was a connection you did not have the opposite sex person...

so it was not a fully "firing" straight relationship...
same as a straight man having a little fun cannot say he understands being gay....

“Headed toward the cliff”

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Tawas City, Michigan

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#182
Jan 18, 2013
 

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straight shooter wrote:
<quoted text>
I get what you mean, but these guys were talking about being a bottom!
to me, there is a big difference...
Not to get to deep into this (pun intended), but many straight men enjoy a little anal play from their wives/girlfriends.

Butt I'd agree that claiming all these "bottoms" are straight is probably a streeeetch.........

Sorry, I couldn't resist!

“Headed toward the cliff”

Since: Nov 07

Tawas City, Michigan

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#183
Jan 18, 2013
 

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straight shooter wrote:
<quoted text>
not to me given that you WERE gay... meaning there was a connection you did not have the opposite sex person...
so it was not a fully "firing" straight relationship...
same as a straight man having a little fun cannot say he understands being gay....
True, but I'd say the straight man "having a little fun" is likely to have a better understanding of gays than those who haven't.
straight shooter

Bellows Falls, VT

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#184
Jan 18, 2013
 
WeTheSheeple wrote:
<quoted text>
Not to get to deep into this (pun intended), but many straight men enjoy a little anal play from their wives/girlfriends.
Butt I'd agree that claiming all these "bottoms" are straight is probably a streeeetch.........
Sorry, I couldn't resist!
very funny!!!
and jokes at anyone's expense are always welcome....
straight shooter

Bellows Falls, VT

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#185
Jan 18, 2013
 
WeTheSheeple wrote:
<quoted text>
True, but I'd say the straight man "having a little fun" is likely to have a better understanding of gays than those who haven't.
I hate to do this, but wasn't this whole thing started by suggesting a little fun is nothing like being gay?

so, let me change tacks to something I raised before (and was nearly crucified on this board for suggesting) but what if all marriages were civil partnerships, straights, gays everyone...the only thing a govt would "recognize" is civil partnerships.

Leave "marriage" to the "ceremonial" ( I learned last time not to use "religious") and civically (I think I made that word up) its ALL partnerships?

To me its a new COMPROMISE...
but as we have discussed that's become a bad word in this issue now...

To me central to this issue is two sides believing they are totally right and the other side is just evil...
if we all respected beliefs we did not agree with, we would all have to look to compromise...
to both sides, you are not selling out YOUR beliefs, you are merely acknowledging others regardless of your agreement with it...

I think casting all opposition to gay marriage as evil bigotry is a mistake, as is denying the humanity in and reality of gay relationships...

“Luke laughs at hypocrites!”

Since: Sep 10

Palm Springs, California

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#186
Jan 18, 2013
 

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straight shooter wrote:
<quoted text>
so what is the central attribute of homosexuality?
not attraction?
then what?
Have you been paying attention AT ALL? The whole zeitgast of homosexuality? It is basically the attraction that a man or woman has for his or her OWN sex, not the opposite. A lot of my pals have been married and some even have children, both men and women tried it and stopped.

I could have sex with 20 women and still be gay...oh, perish FORBID THAT scenario...or, if you were thrown into prison and gang raped, or celled with Bruno and his 10 inch bratwurst who made you his bitch, would YOU be gay upon release?

“Luke laughs at hypocrites!”

Since: Sep 10

Palm Springs, California

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#187
Jan 18, 2013
 

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straight shooter wrote:
<quoted text>
I hate to do this, but wasn't this whole thing started by suggesting a little fun is nothing like being gay?
so, let me change tacks to something I raised before (and was nearly crucified on this board for suggesting) but what if all marriages were civil partnerships, straights, gays everyone...the only thing a govt would "recognize" is civil partnerships.
Leave "marriage" to the "ceremonial" ( I learned last time not to use "religious") and civically (I think I made that word up) its ALL partnerships?
To me its a new COMPROMISE...
but as we have discussed that's become a bad word in this issue now...
To me central to this issue is two sides believing they are totally right and the other side is just evil...
if we all respected beliefs we did not agree with, we would all have to look to compromise...
to both sides, you are not selling out YOUR beliefs, you are merely acknowledging others regardless of your agreement with it...
I think casting all opposition to gay marriage as evil bigotry is a mistake, as is denying the humanity in and reality of gay relationships...
FINALLY, you admit it.
straight shooter

Bellows Falls, VT

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#188
Jan 18, 2013
 
Curteese wrote:
<quoted text>FINALLY, you admit it.
what? admit what?

“Luke laughs at hypocrites!”

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#189
Jan 18, 2013
 

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straight shooter wrote:
<quoted text>
what? admit what?
Read your last sentence in Post #185.
straight shooter

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#190
Jan 18, 2013
 

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Curteese wrote:
<quoted text>Read your last sentence in Post #185.
I have said that MANY TIMES before, is it that you refused to read it since it would reduce your need to snark?
That is exactly why cu's are the right balance, the religious are not evil and you have needs that should be met...

Since: Oct 12

Coolidge, AZ

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#191
Jan 18, 2013
 
Curteese wrote:
<quoted text>Have you been paying attention AT ALL? The whole zeitgast of homosexuality? It is basically the attraction that a man or woman has for his or her OWN sex, not the opposite. A lot of my pals have been married and some even have children, both men and women tried it and stopped.
I could have sex with 20 women and still be gay...oh, perish FORBID THAT scenario...or, if you were thrown into prison and gang raped, or celled with Bruno and his 10 inch bratwurst who made you his bitch, would YOU be gay upon release?
No. But he might wanna be !

:)

“Headed toward the cliff”

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#192
Jan 18, 2013
 

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straight shooter wrote:
<quoted text>
I hate to do this, but wasn't this whole thing started by suggesting a little fun is nothing like being gay?
so, let me change tacks to something I raised before (and was nearly crucified on this board for suggesting) but what if all marriages were civil partnerships, straights, gays everyone...the only thing a govt would "recognize" is civil partnerships.
Leave "marriage" to the "ceremonial" ( I learned last time not to use "religious") and civically (I think I made that word up) its ALL partnerships?
To me its a new COMPROMISE...
but as we have discussed that's become a bad word in this issue now...
To me central to this issue is two sides believing they are totally right and the other side is just evil...
if we all respected beliefs we did not agree with, we would all have to look to compromise...
to both sides, you are not selling out YOUR beliefs, you are merely acknowledging others regardless of your agreement with it...
I think casting all opposition to gay marriage as evil bigotry is a mistake, as is denying the humanity in and reality of gay relationships...
No, it was started because someone said a straight man having a little sex with another man doesn't necessarily make them gay, not that it was nothing like being gay.

As for your civil partnerships for all-

That idea has been floated as well, and pretty much rejected by both sides. Even libertarians who normally support getting the govt out of our lives oppose it because the govt would be doing the same thing just under another name.

Personally I see it as just a last ditch attempt by the anti-gays to stop same-sex couples from marrying. Kinda like taking your ball and going home so NO ONE can play.

The problem is the anti-gays WANT the govt to favor their relationships over same-sex relationships; which is why they've consistently fought ANY govt recognition or benefits for same-sex couples.

It's similar to claiming they now suddenly support civil unions and we should compromise on that. It's a sign of their desperation and recognition that we ARE changing how society views same-sex couples and that we ARE getting closer to marriage equality with every vote, every court case, every legislative action.

I expect even more desperate propositions to be floated the closer we get to full marriage equality across the nation.

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