See, I suspected you could figure it out.<quoted text>
seriously, I am...
I am not focused on the act at all, I am focused on what is "attraction".
If you see someone and you want to "do them" (for lack of a better term) is that not "attraction"?
am I wrong to focus orientation on attraction?
Also, of course i would say this, but I am not at all insecure about my sexuality. Believe it or not, I have gay friends, and have had gay roommates (and many offers). I just don't feel any "attraction" at all. Frankly I think the male body is repulsive while the female curves are pure art....
if there is a split between sex acts and attraction as I think you are suggesting, doesn't that then open the door to the argument that the attraction is not a choice but the sex act is?
or I could just be way off base here...
Of course individual sexual acts are 100% choice- regardless of which gender is doing what to whom, but the underlying attraction isn't.
The way you feel about women is exactly how I feel about men; others are somewhere between the 2 extremes. While I can appreciate the physical beauty of a woman (obviously subconsciously influenced by what society considers "beautiful"), I have no physical or emotional attraction to them; only men do that for me. That's what makes me gay and you straight.
As a male you can obviously understand that physical stimulation- even just friction- can cause arousal. That's how straight men can physically have sex with another man or a gay man can physically have sex with a woman in spite of feeling no actual "attraction". Usually a lot of alcohol is involved to lower ones natural inhibitions. C'mon, didn't you ever go to college?
Unique to many gays & lesbians is the additional social pressure to "fit in", which is why a significant majority of us have had heterosexual encounters inspite of being "as gay as the day is long". Thankfully that is becoming less of an issue for the current young generation. My nephew knew he was gay from the moment he hit puberty and because his family & friends accepted him as such, he's never experienced that societal pressure to be something he knew deep down he's not. He is now serving with the Marines and recently married to his high school sweetheart. Acceptance has never been an issue for his generation; half his plattoon (all heteros) was in his wedding party.