My husband left me 4 another man
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mandy

United States

#34 Mar 17, 2013
That really does suck!!! Its sad that a man woud do that to his family, and you dont know what diseases he could have given to you. I think its disgusting a man screwing another man and going back to his wife. I have nothing against gays as long as their not trying to lie about being straight and screwing me.. hope everything gets better for you and your family.
Harry Butts

Cleburne, TX

#36 Mar 17, 2013
Norton wrote:
<quoted text>
Is your husband's name Jade?
LMFAO
guest

Little Rock, AR

#37 Mar 17, 2013
Cynthia wrote:
my husband just moved out after 30 years of marriage, three young adult kids. The reason depressed , midlife and had to solve personal problems. I confronted him at his new place, where we found evidence of an affair. yes, It is with a Gay..... we were told to no longer can live with you, I am happiest alone and had to move on, goodluck to your wonderful lives.... Bisexual, or gay, never saw a real sign .He was having this relationship for two years. Perfect father, husband and catholic active. Did he got drugged and failed into his arms or did he just let it go. Remeber all the kids are adults no more responsabilities, but me. I am so hurt... the fact is that he ignores all communication he just moved on to a new beginning. He took all his belongings all records and of course he planned all in advanced. We are sad, devastated, depressed and lonely. How do you cope with this separation or divorce??
Please need your advice.
Just remember karma is a b•tch.He will get his.
Carla

Chilliwack, Canada

#41 Nov 28, 2013
I am soooo sorry to hear you went through this. I am a gay woman, and I wouldn't give you the lame excuse that it is everyone else's fault but his (i.e. christians expecting gay people to marry, pressure). At times I knew I could marry a man and life would be easier in many ways, but I knew that was not at all fair to any man worth marrying. I thought about the OTHER person more than myself. I'd rather be single my whole like that use someone as a mask. This is what your husband did to you, and he ruined your ability to trust people. You should be mad. I can actually relate to what you have been through because (and I swear this is true, although it will sound crazy), I had a girlfriend of 5 years who was cheating on me with a mutual friend of ours who was a gay man! Then she told me she identified as a gay man in a woman's body. WTF. Then she left me for him and got her boobs chopped off, and is now making youtube videos about her transition to a man. I even had friends of mine right after this happened pretty much abandon me to support HER, telling me it must be so hard on HER to realize she is a gay man. Whaaaat? She was the one lying to me and cheating. So, I think what it boils down to is, orientation aside, cheaters and liars can really, really ruin your life. They lie, manipulate, and it's the deception that hurts so much in the end. What I am the most mad at is that this person stole my innocence and my trust. I have never cheated, and never manipulated another person. I was always in it for life. Luckily I found a good woman years later and now that laws allow it, we're married. I still have nightmares that she will leave me for a gay man and tell me she is a man inside... stuff like that really f's with your sense of reality, and it can make you look back over your entire life and it can feel like a farce. All I can suggest is do not let him "win". You were not a fool... you were fooled. And that karma is on HIM not you. I suggest finding a good support group. I found a group for people who had been cheated on, and it really helped to talk things out with people in the same space as me. Gay, straight, bisexual... it doesnt matter, there are cheaters out there and they tend to gravitate towards people like us... nice and loyal folks. They are manipulators and users, and they always try to elicit sympathy by playing the victim. I AM gay, and I have no sympathy for weak people who marry people of the wrong orientation for them to protect themselves. That is the most selfish thing I have heard of. Just be single if you dont have the balls to be honest. I am so so sorry. It's kind of weird that I am a gay woman and you are a straight woman and we were both cheated on with our partners leaving for gay men. Haha.. let them go though, I have heard the gay male scene ends up brutal anyhow, and they will BOTH be cheated on, I guarantee it. Maybe karma will give them some warts or something.
Moccamoo

Wadenswil, Switzerland

#49 Dec 2, 2015
You have to let him go. There's no point in getting desperate or starting to compare yourself to his new lover. And i'm sure he does like you since you have lived together for so long. The problem's bout honesty...he wasn't honest to you nor to himself. Forgive and forget. Hope you'll find someone new though.

Since: Aug 11

Location hidden

#50 Dec 2, 2015
Jenny wrote:
After 25 yrs of marriage my husband left me for a man whom he'd been cheating with behind my back for yrs.We have 2 children that have also been duped I'm more mad at myself for being so blind I didn't have a clue. I feel dirty and disguted.
Anybody else have this happen to them and how do you cope?
Thanks in advance for any real comments.
This link might help you.

http://www.straightspouse.org/

How to Find Support

– You’ve discovered that your spouse is gay; maybe they came out voluntarily, or you found out yourself.

– Maybe you’re not sure your spouse is gay, but need to talk to someone about your suspicions.

– Either way, you need to sort out your feelings, and decide how you want to proceed. It is difficult because you feel you are all alone in this.

You are not alone.
- See more at: http://www.straightspouse.org/#sthash.PrEy5B5...
Dr Phillip

United States

#54 Dec 4, 2015
Jenny wrote:
After 25 yrs of marriage my husband left me for a man whom he'd been cheating with behind my back for yrs.We have 2 children that have also been duped I'm more mad at myself for being so blind I didn't have a clue. I feel dirty and disguted.
Anybody else have this happen to them and how do you cope?
Thanks in advance for any real comments.
I recommend you go to your local health clinic and get checked for STDs, gays are known to be carriers of many horrid diseases.
Belle Sexton

Santa Cruz, CA

#55 Dec 5, 2015
Cynthia wrote:
my husband just moved out after 30 years of marriage, three young adult kids. The reason depressed , midlife and had to solve personal problems. I confronted him at his new place, where we found evidence of an affair. yes, It is with a Gay..... we were told to no longer can live with you, I am happiest alone and had to move on, goodluck to your wonderful lives.... Bisexual, or gay, never saw a real sign .He was having this relationship for two years. Perfect father, husband and catholic active. Did he got drugged and failed into his arms or did he just let it go. Remeber all the kids are adults no more responsabilities, but me. I am so hurt... the fact is that he ignores all communication he just moved on to a new beginning. He took all his belongings all records and of course he planned all in advanced. We are sad, devastated, depressed and lonely. How do you cope with this separation or divorce??
Please need your advice.
" ... with a gay PERSON ... " you mean.

We are no more things than you are.
mercy

Switzerland

#66 Jul 31, 2016
how was help
Isac

Port Coquitlam, Canada

#67 Jul 31, 2016
Roisia wrote:
No its not your fault. He just did what many LGBT men and woman do. Thought well if i get married maybe it will fix me. It is something that many of us fall into. I've seen it happen way too many times. Then they fight it until they either become suicidal or what you had happen to you.
You are pathetic
Renaldo

Port Coquitlam, Canada

#68 Jul 31, 2016
Carla wrote:
I am soooo sorry to hear you went through this. I am a gay woman, and I wouldn't give you the lame excuse that it is everyone else's fault but his (i.e. christians expecting gay people to marry, pressure). At times I knew I could marry a man and life would be easier in many ways, but I knew that was not at all fair to any man worth marrying. I thought about the OTHER person more than myself. I'd rather be single my whole like that use someone as a mask. This is what your husband did to you, and he ruined your ability to trust people. You should be mad. I can actually relate to what you have been through because (and I swear this is true, although it will sound crazy), I had a girlfriend of 5 years who was cheating on me with a mutual friend of ours who was a gay man! Then she told me she identified as a gay man in a woman's body. WTF. Then she left me for him and got her boobs chopped off, and is now making youtube videos about her transition to a man. I even had friends of mine right after this happened pretty much abandon me to support HER, telling me it must be so hard on HER to realize she is a gay man. Whaaaat? She was the one lying to me and cheating. So, I think what it boils down to is, orientation aside, cheaters and liars can really, really ruin your life. They lie, manipulate, and it's the deception that hurts so much in the end. What I am the most mad at is that this person stole my innocence and my trust. I have never cheated, and never manipulated another person. I was always in it for life. Luckily I found a good woman years later and now that laws allow it, we're married. I still have nightmares that she will leave me for a gay man and tell me she is a man inside... stuff like that really f's with your sense of reality, and it can make you look back over your entire life and it can feel like a farce. All I can suggest is do not let him "win". You were not a fool... you were fooled. And that karma is on HIM not you. I suggest finding a good support group. I found a group for people who had been cheated on, and it really helped to talk things out with people in the same space as me. Gay, straight, bisexual... it doesnt matter, there are cheaters out there and they tend to gravitate towards people like us... nice and loyal folks. They are manipulators and users, and they always try to elicit sympathy by playing the victim. I AM gay, and I have no sympathy for weak people who marry people of the wrong orientation for them to protect themselves. That is the most selfish thing I have heard of. Just be single if you dont have the balls to be honest. I am so so sorry. It's kind of weird that I am a gay woman and you are a straight woman and we were both cheated on with our partners leaving for gay men. Haha.. let them go though, I have heard the gay male scene ends up brutal anyhow, and they will BOTH be cheated on, I guarantee it. Maybe karma will give them some warts or something.
Who what is karma ?
Francis

Port Coquitlam, Canada

#69 Jul 31, 2016
LindaS wrote:
Jenny, I know people this has happened to. First, as has been said, remember that it's not your fault. It really is not about you at all. He just couldn't live a lie anymore. Not that your marriage with him was a lie, I'm sure he wanted that very much and wanted it to work when he married you. He was just pretending to be someone he was not.
I would not defend his cheating though, there is no excuse. There is an awful lot of internal stress involved with living in the closet, and if you hang around these message boards, you will learn about the kind of hatred your husband faces now that he is out.

As for you, all you can do is try you move on.
Yes it is her fault , she ain't sexy naked anymore she let herself get fat covered in cellulite never washed her big feet, never brushed her teeth . It is a wonder why he did not dump her sooner.
xenia

Germany

#71 Sep 28, 2016
Jenny wrote:
After 25 yrs of marriage my husband left me for a man whom he'd been cheating with behind my back for yrs.We have 2 children that have also been duped I'm more mad at myself for being so blind I didn't have a clue. I feel dirty and disguted.
Anybody else have this happen to them and how do you cope?
Thanks in advance for any real comments.
Same happened to me but I have 2 8 year old that don't understand why not sure how to tell them.

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