How To Tell Your Children That You're Gay
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#1 Sep 18, 2006
For my girl's, 16 and 18 at the time, this was a ho-hum non-issue. I remember asking my older daughter if it bothered her. She said, "Mother, please! My friend ...has two moms,... lives with her dad and his partner, etc." These two, now 23 and 25, are my best buddies. As long as mom's happy, they're cool.
#2 Sep 19, 2006
My partner and i have been together for 10 years this December. We both have children from when we were married. My son is 17, my partner's kids are 14 (boy) and 11 (girl).
If you do the math, you'll see that "we" have been a couple almost their entire lives.
The "issue" was never brought up as a point of conversation - as we belived that when they were ready to ask, they would - and they did.
In each case the "question" just popped up out of the blue. With my son, it was while he was playing Xbox - and we were talking about some of the new games and he just asked, "Hey Dad, you and XXXXX, you're a couple right, i mean like..."
ANd i said, "you mean are we a gay couple? Yes."
He said, "yea, i thought so."
I asked, "Are you ok with that, do you have any questions or anything?"
He said, "Na, you guys have been together for so long i was just wondering for sure."
I asked if has embarassed or upset or anything and he said, "Dad, it's 2004, get with teh times - i have friends who are gay at school."
That pretty much was how it went for my partner's kids. When they were ready to ask, they did. We have great relationships with all our kids, and families and even with our Ex-wives.
#3 Sep 19, 2006
My spouses younger daughter was 17 at the time. He and I went to a dance event organized by the GLBT student organization at a local university. A lsebin friend of hers was at the same party.
All his daughter had to say about the topic was "Did you and Robby enjoy yourselves at the party last night?"
The older daughter was 22 at the time and studying on the East Coast. She came home to visit her dad in Germany for Christmas. On the way to picking up the Christmas tree she noticed some rainbow air freshners in the SUV and started talking about how the rainbow was a symbol of the gay rights movement in the U.S. The younger one just commented that "Well, daddy is gay" .... silence ensued.
The bottom line is that there is no really good point in time to tell your children, but there also is no real reason to be afraid of them finding out when the time comes.
There have never been any problems or questions. In fact I think especially the older daughter was glad to finally understand who that guy was who was hanging our with her dad all the time. They fully accept me. They visited us both in December last year and the younger one will come from Germany to visit us in Arizona and go on a camping trip to Calfornia with us this Winter again.
#4 Sep 19, 2006
Kids are way more savvy about this than we give them credit for.
My partner and I don't have any children, but I have lots of nieces & nephews, and many of them are starting families themselves.
My brother's teenage daughter a few years ago asked me out of the blue if XXXX was to be considered a member of the family, qualifying her question with,'you seem to bring him to all the family functions...'
To which I simply answered,'yeah, pretty much'.
Some of them call my partner 'uncle', some don't. And that's fine. We don't get hung up on the labels. Invitations etc. generally come addressed to both of us, so it's not as if anyone is purposely trying to exclude him.
Of course, then you have my knucklehead brother who asks questions like,'so, is it uncle XXXX and aunt YYYY, or the other way around' just to have a laugh. I love my family, but there are times...
#5 Nov 10, 2012
I want to tell my daughter I have found the love of my life but so afraid she will hate me for some reason please give me advice. She is 14 and I have been away from my ex for a year
#6 Nov 10, 2012
This thread is DISGUSTING!
How do you sick queer freaks claim that you're born gay yet you all marry the opposite sex and have children then you decide to "come out". Just read these posts - it's sick! Think of how many children's lives you all have screwed up!
WHAT A BUNCH OF F*CKING BULLSH*T!
#8 May 22, 2013
You dont have to have sex with the opposite sex have a child, its called artificial insemination. Theres no sexual contact period. And even if they did its not messin up the childs life, as long as the child is raised in the right way and parented well it doesnt matter how they were brought into the world.. But there is a way to get around sexual contact with the opposite if u dont wanna go that route.
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