When Did You First Realize You Weren'...

When Did You First Realize You Weren't Straight?

There are 85 comments on the www.huffingtonpost.com story from Nov 27, 2012, titled When Did You First Realize You Weren't Straight?. In it, www.huffingtonpost.com reports that:

Remember that lunch buddy in second grade who made you tingle when she played footsie under the table and shared her snacks with you? How about that pivotal afternoon of playing "house" with your best friend that culminated in an innocent-enough session of "you show me yours and I'll show you mine"? ... (more)

Join the discussion below, or Read more at www.huffingtonpost.com.

“Good day to you!”

Since: Oct 08

Earth

#67 Dec 2, 2012
Not Yet Equal wrote:
<quoted text>
Where in there do you find an age cut off?
What age are you using for "adult" and "child"?
Can you interact without resorting to abuse?
Age cut off? That paragraph wasn't pertaining to children. No where did it mention children knowing their sexual orientation so well, that they had the mental capacity to deal with it in a positive manner to benefit themselves.
The statement stated it was referencing adults, not children. And when did I resort to abuse? By saying BS? That was an exclamation because you interjected an age group it didn't define nor reference.

Since: Jun 11

AOL

#68 Dec 3, 2012
No Surprise wrote:
<quoted text>
Age cut off? That paragraph wasn't pertaining to children. No where did it mention children knowing their sexual orientation so well, that they had the mental capacity to deal with it in a positive manner to benefit themselves.
The statement stated it was referencing adults, not children. And when did I resort to abuse? By saying BS? That was an exclamation because you interjected an age group it didn't define nor reference.
You are still using an adult/child dichotomy without indicating where you draw the line. Is a 17 yr. old a child and an 18 yr old an adult? Surely you know many (but not all) in their teens have come to grips with their sexual orientation. The quotation does not make any distinction about age. "Research has shown that feeling positively about one’s sexual orientation and integrating it into one’s life fosters greater well-being and mental health." This applies to anyone who has become aware of their sexual orientation, no matter what their age. The additional reference material from The American Academy of Pediatrics, supports this understanding.

I realize many on the Internet enjoy being abusive, so you may not be aware of yours. Here are examples:
"lol...you're nuts!
Are you mentally blind?
BS. Did you even read it?
Read your own information better next time."

And yes, I did read it, and it uses no age limits, indicating the information holds true for anyone who has become aware or is in the process of understanding their orientation.

“Good day to you!”

Since: Oct 08

Earth

#70 Dec 5, 2012
Not Yet Equal wrote:
<quoted text>
You are still using an adult/child dichotomy without indicating where you draw the line. Is a 17 yr. old a child and an 18 yr old an adult? Surely you know many (but not all) in their teens have come to grips with their sexual orientation. The quotation does not make any distinction about age. "Research has shown that feeling positively about one’s sexual orientation and integrating it into one’s life fosters greater well-being and mental health." This applies to anyone who has become aware of their sexual orientation, no matter what their age. The additional reference material from The American Academy of Pediatrics, supports this understanding.
I realize many on the Internet enjoy being abusive, so you may not be aware of yours. Here are examples:
"lol...you're nuts!
Are you mentally blind?
BS. Did you even read it?
Read your own information better next time."
And yes, I did read it, and it uses no age limits, indicating the information holds true for anyone who has become aware or is in the process of understanding their orientation.
Your quoted paragraph ends with the following information of WHOM it was referencing. Why you're ignoring this fact of the age group it was referencing I don't understand. The paragraph certainly wasn't referencing minors. It never mentions minors. Or children. You interjected the paragraph's information could be intended for minors and as far as an opinion goes, that's an opinion. But the paragraph was referencing adults and states it was referencing adults. I called you mentally blind because you purposefully ignored that fact and you still purposefully ignore that fact of that paragraph.

Then the paragraph ends describing it's been referring to ADULT males and females...
"Thus, it is not surprising that lesbians and gay men who feel they must conceal their sexual orientation report more frequent mental health concerns than do lesbians and gay men who are more open; they may even have more physical health problems. Where problems occur, they are closely associated with experiences of bias and discrimination in their environments."
(American Psychological Association)
Read your own information better next time :)

PS...the below statements weren't meant to be abusive in how I used them. They were remarks regarding how you continually ignored the written facts of the information you posted.
"lol...you're nuts!
Are you mentally blind?
BS. Did you even read it?
Read your own information better next time."

Since: Mar 09

Location hidden

#72 Dec 5, 2012
Donald wrote:
<quoted text>
What kind of camp did you go to were grown men were naked around five year olds? No wonder you turned gay! Those queers molested you don't you know that? KEEP QUEERS AWAY FROM KIDS !!!
Ignoramus!

All Scandinavian saunas are multi-generational, co-educational and nude. Russian saunas are multi-generational nude. So are Islamic bath houses. How about the ancient and traditional Japanese bath house.

(points and laughs) Hey everyone! Look at that huge ignoramus!

Since: Jun 11

AOL

#73 Dec 5, 2012
No Surprise wrote:
<quoted text>
Your quoted paragraph ends with the following information of WHOM it was referencing. Why you're ignoring this fact of the age group it was referencing I don't understand. The paragraph certainly wasn't referencing minors. It never mentions minors. Or children. You interjected the paragraph's information could be intended for minors and as far as an opinion goes, that's an opinion. But the paragraph was referencing adults and states it was referencing adults. I called you mentally blind because you purposefully ignored that fact and you still purposefully ignore that fact of that paragraph.
Then the paragraph ends describing it's been referring to ADULT males and females...
"Thus, it is not surprising that lesbians and gay men who feel they must conceal their sexual orientation report more frequent mental health concerns than do lesbians and gay men who are more open; they may even have more physical health problems. Where problems occur, they are closely associated with experiences of bias and discrimination in their environments."
(American Psychological Association)
Read your own information better next time :)
PS...the below statements weren't meant to be abusive in how I used them. They were remarks regarding how you continually ignored the written facts of the information you posted.
"lol...you're nuts!
Are you mentally blind?
BS. Did you even read it?
Read your own information better next time."
And still, no age cut off is specified. "Lesbians and gay men" does not mean they were talking about lesbians of all ages but only gay males over 18 or 21. It includes young gay men as well as lesbians of all ages. There is no specification that it applies only to those over either 18 or 21.(use of "men" here is to distinguish gay males from gay females, or "lesbians".)

I provided the information from The American Academy of Pediatrics in part to demonstrate the scientific community recognizes there is no magic to the age 18 or 21. Again, some people become aware of their sexual orientation during their teens, while for others it may be much later. The information holds true for people of any age who are going through the process of understanding their sexual orientation: they do better when they can do so in a supportive environment, and problems are a result of the irrational prejudice of others and legal discrimination.

Again, "Research has shown that feeling positively about one’s sexual orientation and integrating it into one’s life fosters greater well-being and mental health... Where problems occur, they are closely associated with experiences of bias and discrimination in their environments." (APA) That holds true for any and all ages.

Re: abuse. No matter what your intent, the wording you used is insulting and therefore abusive, though I am glad to hear that wasn't your intent. While all too common on the net, insults remain antithetical to communication.

“Good day to you!”

Since: Oct 08

Earth

#74 Dec 5, 2012
Not Yet Equal wrote:
<quoted text>
And still, no age cut off is specified. "Lesbians and gay men" does not mean they were talking about lesbians of all ages but only gay males over 18 or 21. It includes young gay men as well as lesbians of all ages. There is no specification that it applies only to those over either 18 or 21.(use of "men" here is to distinguish gay males from gay females, or "lesbians".)
I provided the information from The American Academy of Pediatrics in part to demonstrate the scientific community recognizes there is no magic to the age 18 or 21. Again, some people become aware of their sexual orientation during their teens, while for others it may be much later. The information holds true for people of any age who are going through the process of understanding their sexual orientation: they do better when they can do so in a supportive environment, and problems are a result of the irrational prejudice of others and legal discrimination.
Again, "Research has shown that feeling positively about one’s sexual orientation and integrating it into one’s life fosters greater well-being and mental health... Where problems occur, they are closely associated with experiences of bias and discrimination in their environments." (APA) That holds true for any and all ages.
Re: abuse. No matter what your intent, the wording you used is insulting and therefore abusive, though I am glad to hear that wasn't your intent. While all too common on the net, insults remain antithetical to communication.
How you apply your ideas to the article is one thing and your perogative. But the article was describing very factually adults and how they dealt with their homosexuality issues. Not tough to understand, really.

Since: Jun 11

AOL

#75 Dec 5, 2012
No Surprise wrote:
<quoted text>
How you apply your ideas to the article is one thing and your perogative. But the article was describing very factually adults and how they dealt with their homosexuality issues. Not tough to understand, really.
Again, where are you drawing the line? The quote did not draw a line. It said lesbians. And gay men.

I provided extra resource material to support my assertions. These are not my ideas, but a reflection of my understanding of the current state of the science, based on over 40 years of training and experience.

“Good day to you!”

Since: Oct 08

Earth

#76 Dec 5, 2012
Not Yet Equal wrote:
<quoted text>
Again, where are you drawing the line? The quote did not draw a line. It said lesbians. And gay men.
I provided extra resource material to support my assertions. These are not my ideas, but a reflection of my understanding of the current state of the science, based on over 40 years of training and experience.
American Psychological Association: "Research has shown that feeling positively about one’s sexual orientation and integrating it into one’s life fosters greater well-being and mental health. This integration often involves disclosing one’s identity to others; it may also entail participating in the gay community. Being able to discuss one’s sexual orientation with others also increases the availability of social support, which is crucial to mental health and psychological well-being.
(The above portion you're assuming was written about all homosexuals in general regardless of age. That is true. But the above was in a paragraph concerning adults which the next part of the paragraph reveals. If it had been written about homosexuals in general as you assume, the word "men" would never have been used so a reader would misconstrue what was written about "all homosexuals" as you assume was about.)
Like heterosexuals, lesbians, gay men, and bisexual people benefit from being able to share their lives with and receive support from family, friends, and acquaintances.
(The first three lines above define what adults usually do, not what minors usually do that are homosexuals.)
Thus, it is not surprising that lesbians and gay men who feel they must conceal their sexual orientation report more frequent mental health concerns than do lesbians and gay men who are more open; they may even have more physical health problems. Where problems occur, they are closely associated with experiences of bias and discrimination in their environments."
(American Psychological Association)
(In the above, if what you claim is correct, what was the use of defining lesbians as any age group yet the writer takes time to define gays as "men" and not any age group? To your opinion, the writer really had no idea of whom they were referencing in that paragraph. To your logic, the writer began to write about all age groups and then specified gay adult men for some irrational purpose. According to your logic, the entire paragraph was about all homosexual age groups. But the paragraph disagrees with your logic. The writer defined a line by using the words "gay men" twice. So according to your logic, the writer began addressing homosexuals without age and finished addressing adult gay men, excluding an "all age groups" idealism as you purport they were using all along.)
Rainbow Kid

Alpharetta, GA

#77 Dec 5, 2012
Since WWII the American Medical Association has been documenting physical differences visible to the naked eye and that show up in photographs
.
Gay people are born with a different brain and spinal cord; body parts that are not interchangeable with the corresponding body parts of a straight person
http://media01.commpartners.com/AMA/sexual_id...

Since: Jun 11

AOL

#78 Dec 6, 2012
No Surprise wrote:
<quoted text>
(edited for space)
Notice "gay men" is used to distinguish from lesbians and bisexuals. They use no age limit to define "men", nor "lesbians" nor "bisexuals".

And again, you don't address where you would draw the line.

And again, as referenced from other sources, the information holds true for any person who is in the process of understanding their own sexual orientation. And again, this is not simply my opinion.

Do you dispute the information provided applies to youth as well as to adults of all ages?

"Many studies find a higher rate of health and mental health problems among lesbian, gay and bisexual and transgender (LGBT) teens than in heterosexual youth, often fingering social rejection as the culprit. A new study of lesbians, gays and bisexuals, however, suggests another major possible cause: parental rejection.
The research, published in the January Pediatrics (Vol. 123, No. 1), found that LGB adults who reported high rates of parental rejection in their teens were 8.4 times more likely to report having attempted suicide, 5.9 times more likely to report high levels of depression, 3.4 times more likely to use illegal drugs, and 3.4 times more likely to have had unprotected sex than LGB peers who reported no or low levels of family rejection, reports the study team, headed by Caitlin Ryan, PhD, of San Francisco State University.

"Because families play such a critical role in child and adolescent development, it is not surprising that adverse, punitive and traumatic reactions from parents and caregivers would have such a negative influence on [young people's] risk behaviors and health status as young adults," the authors write.

The study, conducted on 224 white and Latino LGB young adults, is the first to identify and measure specific parental rejecting behaviors and link them to health and mental health outcomes in LGB youth, Ryan says. The work is part of a larger project called the Family Acceptance Project ( http://familyproject.sfsu.edu ). Ryan is using the findings to develop interventions to help families from various ethnicities better support their LGBT children, she says.

Preliminary results are promising: "We've seen that families can grow and become more supportive once they've learned how their words, actions and behaviors affect their LGBT children," she says."

http://www.apa.org/monitor/2009/03/orientatio...
rider

Marquette, MI

#79 Dec 6, 2012
www.insider-magazine.com/christianmafia.htmCa... - Similar
You +1'd this publicly. Undo
EXPOSÉ: THE “CHRISTIAN” MAFIA. Where Those Who Now Run the U.S. Government Came From and Where They Are Taking Us ...

“Good day to you!”

Since: Oct 08

Earth

#80 Dec 6, 2012
Not Yet Equal wrote:
<quoted text>
Notice "gay men" is used to distinguish from lesbians and bisexuals. They use no age limit to define "men", nor "lesbians" nor "bisexuals".
And again, you don't address where you would draw the line.
Noo, not used to distinguish lesbian minors and lesbian adults from gay men. That is your incorrect interpretation of the sentence I will agree.
You, not the author of that piece, is trying to slice and dice the article to show it means your interpretation that it's about about all homosexuals regardless of age.
You are the one missing the fact that the author drew lines of whom he was speaking about, adults. They were speaking of what adult lesbians and adult gays go through in being homosexuals.
I have no need to draw any line as you feel a compulsion to do. I know what the author meant in their article. They were speaking and referencing adult homosexuals. They made repeated references of the level of intellect being used to deal with being a homosexual, that most minors don't have a clue about because their to young to understand themselves and how to do and act in positive ways to benefit themselves as a homosexual.
I am sure if asked, the author would say yes, you could use their information for minors. But the article was about adults dealing with homosexuality.

Since: Jun 11

AOL

#81 Dec 7, 2012
No Surprise wrote:
<quoted text>
Noo, not used to distinguish lesbian minors and lesbian adults from gay men. That is your incorrect interpretation of the sentence I will agree.
You, not the author of that piece, is trying to slice and dice the article to show it means your interpretation that it's about about all homosexuals regardless of age.
You are the one missing the fact that the author drew lines of whom he was speaking about, adults. They were speaking of what adult lesbians and adult gays go through in being homosexuals.
I have no need to draw any line as you feel a compulsion to do. I know what the author meant in their article. They were speaking and referencing adult homosexuals. They made repeated references of the level of intellect being used to deal with being a homosexual, that most minors don't have a clue about because their to young to understand themselves and how to do and act in positive ways to benefit themselves as a homosexual.
I am sure if asked, the author would say yes, you could use their information for minors. But the article was about adults dealing with homosexuality.
You are the one making the age distinction, not me.

So where is that distinction for you, and where is it for the author? What is the age cut off specified?

And does the information apply to youth (as I have documented)?

It seems you are hung up on a semantic non-issue.

“Good day to you!”

Since: Oct 08

Earth

#82 Dec 7, 2012
Not Yet Equal wrote:
<quoted text>
You are the one making the age distinction, not me.
So where is that distinction for you, and where is it for the author? What is the age cut off specified?
And does the information apply to youth (as I have documented)?
It seems you are hung up on a semantic non-issue.
The moment the author made a statement about Lesbians and gay men, meaning lesbian women and gay men, not lesbian minors and lesbian adult women AND gay men and leaving out gay minors, the author made the definition of whom they were speaking about. Homosexual adults dealing with their homosexuality.
And I'm hung up on semantic non-issue? You're the one reading things into this article it doesn't mention. Just like you reading God is fine and well with homosexuality in the Bible which it says nothing about that you're claiming.
Listen, this is a simple article. Why don't you find the author of it and email them and ask if they were specifying all age groups if you think you're so correct? The author wrote of people having an advanced intellect level to know how to deal with their homosexuality issues they face in life.
And to further use your logic on the article, the moment the author used the words "gay men" to specify which type of a "gay male" he was speaking of, that excluded any "gay male minors" from the entire article, according to your logic. So according to your logic being used that it referenced all age groups, you prove you're incorrect by your own logic. According to your logic, the author spoke of all age groups for lesbians and ONLY gay men. No mention of gay male minors.
Man, you need to let this one go, really :)

Since: Jun 11

AOL

#83 Dec 7, 2012
No Surprise wrote:
<quoted text>
The moment the author made a statement about Lesbians and gay men, meaning lesbian women and gay men, not lesbian minors and lesbian adult women AND gay men and leaving out gay minors, the author made the definition of whom they were speaking about. Homosexual adults dealing with their homosexuality.
And I'm hung up on semantic non-issue? You're the one reading things into this article it doesn't mention. Just like you reading God is fine and well with homosexuality in the Bible which it says nothing about that you're claiming.
Listen, this is a simple article. Why don't you find the author of it and email them and ask if they were specifying all age groups if you think you're so correct? The author wrote of people having an advanced intellect level to know how to deal with their homosexuality issues they face in life.
And to further use your logic on the article, the moment the author used the words "gay men" to specify which type of a "gay male" he was speaking of, that excluded any "gay male minors" from the entire article, according to your logic. So according to your logic being used that it referenced all age groups, you prove you're incorrect by your own logic. According to your logic, the author spoke of all age groups for lesbians and ONLY gay men. No mention of gay male minors.
Man, you need to let this one go, really :)
And again, you refuse to define "adult", just as the article did not define "men" and made no mention of age.

Is the information true for youth as well as adults?

It is you who wants to make this about an age limit you refuse to define, while the issue is whether or not the information holds true for teens as well as older people.

“Good day to you!”

Since: Oct 08

Earth

#84 Dec 7, 2012
Not Yet Equal wrote:
<quoted text>
And again, you refuse to define "adult", just as the article did not define "men" and made no mention of age.
Is the information true for youth as well as adults?
It is you who wants to make this about an age limit you refuse to define, while the issue is whether or not the information holds true for teens as well as older people.
I really shouldn't have to define "adult" for you. Unless you really don't understand the definition of what an adult is? If you don't understand the common definition of an adult as I am referencing and that the author also referenced, here's some info from Merriam-Webster.
By the way, as established by courts in this land which documents attest to, the common definition I was using, this country recognizes an adult as being someone that is 18 years of age or older who has become "legally" responsible to their speech and actions according to the laws. And a minor that acts like an adult doesn't count :)

Definition of ADULT

1
: fully developed and mature :(meaning)grown-up(mentally/ph ysically)(parentheses mine)
2
: of, relating to, intended for, or befitting adults <an adult approach to a problem>
3
: dealing in or with explicitly sexual material <adult bookstores> <adult movies>

Definition of GROWN-UP

1
: not childish or immature : adult
2
: of, for, or characteristic of adults <insisted on wearing grown–up clothes>

And the authors distinctive word...men, gay men.

Definition of MEN

plural of man

Definition of MAN

1
a (1): an individual human; especially : an adult male human (2): a man belonging to a particular category (as by birth, residence, membership, or occupation)—usually used in combination <councilman> (3): husband (4): lover

“Good day to you!”

Since: Oct 08

Earth

#85 Dec 7, 2012
Not Yet Equal wrote:
<quoted text>
And again, you refuse to define "adult", just as the article did not define "men" and made no mention of age.
Is the information true for youth as well as adults?
It is you who wants to make this about an age limit you refuse to define, while the issue is whether or not the information holds true for teens as well as older people.
By the way, twice before I did say the information in the article was adaptable to minors :)

Since: Mar 09

Location hidden

#86 Dec 7, 2012
Males finish their growth between 24 and 27yrs of age. The ends of their large bones cap off.

There was a reason our founders wouldn't allow election to congress until 25+ yrs. They were all animal breeders and knew the difference between a yearling and an adult mammal.

Since: Jun 11

AOL

#87 Dec 8, 2012
No Surprise wrote:
<quoted text>
By the way, twice before I did say the information in the article was adaptable to minors :)
Thank you for acknowledging the information holds true for anyone who has become aware of their enduring pattern of emotional and physical attractions, no matter what their age.

“Good day to you!”

Since: Oct 08

Earth

#88 Dec 8, 2012
Not Yet Equal wrote:
<quoted text>
Thank you for acknowledging the information holds true for anyone who has become aware of their enduring pattern of emotional and physical attractions, no matter what their age.
You're welcome :)

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