My son likely is gay; my father hates 'homos'

In the past two years it's become very apparent that my son "Ben," who is now 8, is probably gay.

[snyper]

"Prudence" seems to give pretty good advice.

Always remember, pflag.org is there to help.

Just remember, "effiminacy" of demeanor is NOT an indicator of orientation.

[Truth]

As a gay person who's father was in the military and who got financial help from my parents... I waited and waited to tell my parents. After my father's heart attack I was afraid to tell him or at least felt it wasn't worth telling him. I was already hiding it from my mother because of her health issues. I think my father lived 15 years or more after his first heart incident. While I know they may have even known or suspected, I was unable to share a part of who I was with them. It's like a little weight on my heart and my life that I was never really accepted for what I am. It also set a really bad example for my nephew, who struggled to come out as gay. Dad in the article you have to grow some now before the damage is done to your son, grandpa more than likely will adjust over time and get to know his grandson for who he is.

[Curteese]

Truth wrote:

As a gay person who's father was in the military and who got financial help from my parents... I waited and waited to tell my parents. After my father's heart attack I was afraid to tell him or at least felt it wasn't worth telling him. I was already hiding it from my mother because of her health issues. I think my father lived 15 years or more after his first heart incident. While I know they may have even known or suspected, I was unable to share a part of who I was with them. It's like a little weight on my heart and my life that I was never really accepted for what I am. It also set a really bad example for my nephew, who struggled to come out as gay. Dad in the article you have to grow some now before the damage is done to your son, grandpa more than likely will adjust over time and get to know his grandson for who he is.

I also held back confessing, it was a different time and gay was not something understood so much. I see younger guys now, or even older ones, who have EXCELLENT relationships with their parents and it makes me sad that I never got to try that out on my hostile parents. They did not WANT me to tell them, so I didn't. They never knew me. Too bad. I wish my dad was here tomorrow to talk to about it at the Olive Garden where he loved to go.

[BlondPrincewclb]

"My son likely is gay; my father hates 'homos'"

Careful because you are dealing with someone who suffers mental illness in this situation.

According to APA, homophobia is to be classified as a mental illness. It has not yet officially been classified but likely will be by next year.

Your father has a serious form of mental illness and you need to keep your son away from him until his illness is under control. APA and AMA states homosexuality is natural, normal and equal to heterosexuality. Evolutionary Scientists state without heterosexuality or homosexuality, there would be no human race today and both orientations are equal and important.

Try to get to the root cause of the homophobia. It could very well be your father was molested by a pedophile at an early age and thinks pedophilia is homosexuality since most pedophile are male and pedophilia has to do with power not sex.

It could be a gay man made a pass at him he did not like or it could be he has suppressed homosexual desires. Only a doctor will know for sure but you can try to find some info out.

Like an alcoholic, never ask him why he dislikes gays. It would be like asking an alcoholic why he/she drinks. You are not going to get the truth.

Try to ask him questions about his childhood with interest like you want to know what life was like for him when he was growing up at a time nothing pertaining to homosexuality is in any topic. Ask him what he remembers as a kid being the best times. Keep those in mind so when you ask him what were the worst times, you can remind him of the good times to keep him from anger.

The main thing is to love your son and protect him. Most mothers know their child is gay around age two of the child or at least by age four. Fathers do not pick up on it in the same way other than avoiding a gay child if the father is homophobic. My mother knew I was gay by age two.

My mother did not tell me that growing up so she did not place ideas in my head but she told me when I came out to her she knew since I was two and it is of course normal but there are bigots out there and to be careful.

Good luck in your situation.

[Whisperer]

Get that kid into therapy at the earliest age possible.

[Nytebreid]

Whisperer wrote:

Get that kid into therapy at the earliest age possible.

His father is probably way too old to be called a kid.

[Whisperer]

Nytebreid wrote:

<quoted text>
His father is probably way too old to be called a kid.

I'm sorry. I must have misread the article, I thought it was the son that was queer.

[Nytebreid]

Whisperer wrote:

<quoted text>
I'm sorry. I must have misread the article, I thought it was the son that was queer.

Your reading comprehension is fine then... your concept of what constitutes a mental illness seems a bit off though.

[Frank Stanton]

pathetic ameriKKKa. pathetic because it validates the old bigot and it's hate for it's own relative.

kill the bigot..... protect the child.

pathetic ameriKKKa for protecting the old sky critter believ'in pos bigot.

[How I See It]

BlondPrincewclb wrote:

"My son likely is gay; my father hates 'homos'"
Careful because you are dealing with someone who suffers mental illness in this situation.
According to APA, homophobia is to be classified as a mental illness. It has not yet officially been classified but likely will be by next year.
Your father has a serious form of mental illness and you need to keep your son away from him until his illness is under control. APA and AMA states homosexuality is natural, normal and equal to heterosexuality. Evolutionary Scientists state without heterosexuality or homosexuality, there would be no human race today and both orientations are equal and important.
Try to get to the root cause of the homophobia. It could very well be your father was molested by a pedophile at an early age and thinks pedophilia is homosexuality since most pedophile are male and pedophilia has to do with power not sex.
It could be a gay man made a pass at him he did not like or it could be he has suppressed homosexual desires. Only a doctor will know for sure but you can try to find some info out.
Like an alcoholic, never ask him why he dislikes gays. It would be like asking an alcoholic why he/she drinks. You are not going to get the truth.
Try to ask him questions about his childhood with interest like you want to know what life was like for him when he was growing up at a time nothing pertaining to homosexuality is in any topic. Ask him what he remembers as a kid being the best times. Keep those in mind so when you ask him what were the worst times, you can remind him of the good times to keep him from anger.
The main thing is to love your son and protect him. Most mothers know their child is gay around age two of the child or at least by age four. Fathers do not pick up on it in the same way other than avoiding a gay child if the father is homophobic. My mother knew I was gay by age two.
My mother did not tell me that growing up so she did not place ideas in my head but she told me when I came out to her she knew since I was two and it is of course normal but there are bigots out there and to be careful.
Good luck in your situation.

Am I to assume you think God suffers from a serious form of mental illness? It seems you and your pathetic "medical professionals" must believe he does because he condemns those who practice this perversion. Too bad the idiots of today put all of their trust in doctors and such but I suppose its easier on the conscience to hear what you want instead of what the creator believes. Trust me, it doesn't make it any less wrong just because you feel good about the perversions you practice because some doctor tells you what you want to hear.

[hi hi]

The "religious" in this thread sound like abusive dumbasses. No one is interested in your personal problems or the insecurities you are constantly vomiting. Your views are abusive, senseless and worthless. They pervert the true meaning of religion and amount to nothing more than harassment and your own vitriolic, sick-minded selfishness. You have no business sticking your snouts into the lives of others who did not ask for your advice and are *NOT* interested. You will convince them of nothing.

[uve]

How I See It wrote:

<quoted text>
Am I to assume you think God suffers from a serious form of mental illness? It seems you and your pathetic "medical professionals" must believe he does because he condemns those who practice this perversion. Too bad the idiots of today put all of their trust in doctors and such but I suppose its easier on the conscience to hear what you want instead of what the creator believes. Trust me, it doesn't make it any less wrong just because you feel good about the perversions you practice because some doctor tells you what you want to hear.

First of all who's God? Yours? AND if they are indeed medical professionals I doubt they are pathetic. I suppose you would try and pray away some medical condition and when it doesn't work say it's 'God's Will'. Just because YOU think being gay is perverse doesn't make it so. I think someone who forces THEIR religious beliefs on anyone and is judgmental to any thought other than there own, is perverted, ignorant and delusional.

[How I See It]

hi hi wrote:

The "religious" in this thread sound like abusive dumbasses. No one is interested in your personal problems or the insecurities you are constantly vomiting. Your views are abusive, senseless and worthless. They pervert the true meaning of religion and amount to nothing more than harassment and your own vitriolic, sick-minded selfishness. You have no business sticking your snouts into the lives of others who did not ask for your advice and are *NOT* interested. You will convince them of nothing.

If they're not interested in others opinions perhaps they should keep it to themselves and not post on topix. Seems you feel Gods views are worthless and if that's how you feel, fine. You aren't the first to feel that way and you won't be the last as long as there are those like you who like to lead a life of debauchery without the guilt that comes from knowing the commandants of God

[How I See It]

uve wrote:

<quoted text>
First of all who's God? Yours? AND if they are indeed medical professionals I doubt they are pathetic. I suppose you would try and pray away some medical condition and when it doesn't work say it's 'God's Will'. Just because YOU think being gay is perverse doesn't make it so. I think someone who forces THEIR religious beliefs on anyone and is judgmental to any thought other than there own, is perverted, ignorant and delusional.

That would be the God of the bible or in other words every ones God whether they like it or not. Also, your trying to divert the subject by talking of a "medical condition" is disingenuous. Just because some Psychiatrist with an agenda says acting on your perversions (not a medical condition) is normal doesn't make it so unless you are the one benefiting from having a human alleviate your guilty conscience. No one is forcing anything on you. Frankly it is just the opposite. Qu_ers have been forcing their perverted views on the rest of society for years now and have even gone after young children in school now to indoctrinate them into acceptance of your perversions.

[uve]

How I See It wrote:

<quoted text>
If they're not interested in others opinions perhaps they should keep it to themselves and not post on topix. Seems you feel Gods views are worthless and if that's how you feel, fine. You aren't the first to feel that way and you won't be the last as long as there are those like you who like to lead a life of debauchery without the guilt that comes from knowing the commandants of God

I think you should re-read the posts, most are directed at YOU. Your off topic BTW.

[Truth]

BIG-BOSS MAN wrote:

If I had a son who I even thought for one second was turning into a queer I beat the living daylights out of the little sissy and kick him to the curb!
- BIG BOSS MAN

You should be hung from your balls and left to die.

[Truth]

How I See It wrote:

<quoted text>
If they're not interested in others opinions perhaps they should keep it to themselves and not post on topix. Seems you feel Gods views are worthless and if that's how you feel, fine. You aren't the first to feel that way and you won't be the last as long as there are those like you who like to lead a life of debauchery without the guilt that comes from knowing the commandants of God

You use your god to justify bigotry and hatred you are a vile creature, may what's left of your puny brain shrivel up and die.

[Truth]

How I See It wrote:

<quoted text>
That would be the God of the bible or in other words every ones God whether they like it or not. Also, your trying to divert the subject by talking of a "medical condition" is disingenuous. Just because some Psychiatrist with an agenda says acting on your perversions (not a medical condition) is normal doesn't make it so unless you are the one benefiting from having a human alleviate your guilty conscience. No one is forcing anything on you. Frankly it is just the opposite. Qu_ers have been forcing their perverted views on the rest of society for years now and have even gone after young children in school now to indoctrinate them into acceptance of your perversions.

Go tell it to your pedophile priest, or the leader of your church living high off the donations of people living on fixed incomes.

[How I See It]

uve wrote:

<quoted text>
I think you should re-read the posts, most are directed at YOU. Your off topic BTW.

It seems you have not learned how to comprehend what you read. Take another look so you don't look foolish in your comments.

[How I See It]

Truth wrote:

<quoted text>
Go tell it to your pedophile priest, or the leader of your church living high off the donations of people living on fixed incomes.

I have no respect for the Catholic church and can assure you that no one draws a salary in my place of worship. They never have and never will.