Actor Mark Ruffalo says goodbye to 'old' and 'bigoted' views of parenting

Jul 12, 2010 | Posted by: imayogi | Full story: www.proudparenting.com

"We live down the street from a gay couple with a young son, my son goes and plays there and has lunch there. My son is 8 years old, and not once has he come and asked why his friend has two poppas,” says Mark Ruffalo. “His family is no different to my family – they eat at the same time, send their kid to school, discipline him and love him the same way. It’s only the teaching that we give to the child that makes them see those distinctions.” Ruffalo is starring in The Kids Are All Right in theaters now.

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Since: Feb 08

Iowa City, Ia.

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#1
Jul 12, 2010
 

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Kids really don't care, it's true. The older children might say things they've heard adults utter, but they usually don't even know what it means. Same thing for "interracial" couples. Kids learn that hate from their parents, teens and tv/movies.
Moses

Sydney, Australia

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#2
Jul 12, 2010
 
Mark Ruffalo is an inspiration. Good on you Mark!
OT3P_Wolf

United States

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#4
Jul 12, 2010
 
That's wonderful! A single generation free of hate is enough to win the civil rights battle and bring humanity that much closer to peace and harmony.=)

Since: Dec 08

El Paso, TX

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#5
Jul 12, 2010
 
OT3P_Wolf wrote:
That's wonderful! A single generation free of hate is enough to win the civil rights battle and bring humanity that much closer to peace and harmony.=)
And we're blessed with that group already. They're in college and high school and they're young professionals and workers in restaurants and bars, hotel people, actors, you name it and they're there. All we need is to unite as one voice and we shall be heard. I would say that it is now time to call for the biggest march that's ever happened on our nations capital in the spring of 2012, a Marriage Rights march of the first order with all our friends and family and neighbors prepared to join us. And YES that IS an election year.

Now is the hour folks.

Since: May 09

Marin County, CA

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#6
Jul 12, 2010
 
thanks Mark for seeing us as we are!- just the same as every other family taking it day-by-day.
Disgusted American

Philadelphia, PA

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#7
Jul 13, 2010
 
I heard all the same arguments back in the mid 60's when I was a little kid, about "Inter-racial" marriage and kids from it...."it's not fair to the kids blah blah blah"....it was of course COMING from the adults..NOT the kids...same argument, different decade and minority!

Since: Sep 08

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#8
Jul 13, 2010
 
Ruffalo wrote:
"not once has he come and asked why his friend has two poppas,” says Mark Ruffalo.
Of course not. His friend's daddies have already answered that for him in your absence. If you bring up a child believing that something is completely normal, he will believe it.
Ruffalo wrote:
“His family is no different to my family – they eat at the same time, send their kid to school, discipline him and love him the same way."
Is this all your family does? His family is VERY different from your family. You have diminished the role of a woman and mother in a family to being obsolete. Furthermore, you are stating that the child has no need for a mother figure. I wonder if you would be the same person today if you didn't have that "large, loving Italian family" you boast about?

“I'm not gay, I'm celisexual!”

Since: Jul 10

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#9
Jul 13, 2010
 
Western1 wrote:
<quoted text>
Of course not. His friend's daddies have already answered that for him in your absence. If you bring up a child believing that something is completely normal, he will believe it.
<quoted text>
Is this all your family does? His family is VERY different from your family. You have diminished the role of a woman and mother in a family to being obsolete. Furthermore, you are stating that the child has no need for a mother figure. I wonder if you would be the same person today if you didn't have that "large, loving Italian family" you boast about?
I don't believe the article specifies exactly how the couple wound up with these boys, but if they were adopted out of the foster care system or an orphanage, then they are certainly in a better situation now than they would have been otherwise.

Since: Dec 08

El Paso, TX

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#10
Jul 13, 2010
 
Western1 wrote:
<quoted text>
Of course not. His friend's daddies have already answered that for him in your absence. If you bring up a child believing that something is completely normal, he will believe it.
<quoted text>
Is this all your family does? His family is VERY different from your family. You have diminished the role of a woman and mother in a family to being obsolete. Furthermore, you are stating that the child has no need for a mother figure. I wonder if you would be the same person today if you didn't have that "large, loving Italian family" you boast about?
Enough studies have been done to disprove your points totally.

How many needy children have you and your wife adopted?

Since: Sep 08

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#11
Jul 14, 2010
 
TomInElPaso wrote:
<quoted text>
Enough studies have been done to disprove your points totally.
What points? What studies? Give a link. I said he diminished the role of the mother entirely by claiming their families were the same. They are not. They are a different kind of family. One with no mother.

Since: Sep 08

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#12
Jul 14, 2010
 
The Virgin Queen1 wrote:
<quoted text>
I don't believe the article specifies exactly how the couple wound up with these boys, but if they were adopted out of the foster care system or an orphanage, then they are certainly in a better situation now than they would have been otherwise.
VQ we don't know that. We don't know what that boy's present situation is and what it could have been. All we know is he has no mother, has 2 fathers who are homosexual, is obligated to wear the gay banner as a boy/young man wherever he goes, a lot to bear on his little shoulders. Do these men restrain themselves or do they kiss, cuddle and hold hands in front of the boy? One thing is certain, he has no mother figure to hold him, put him to bed or nurture him like only a woman can. He was released to a gay male couple, which statistically only last about 4 years. But hey, at least he's no longer at an orphanage or foster home, right?

“I'm not gay, I'm celisexual!”

Since: Jul 10

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#13
Jul 14, 2010
 
Western1 wrote:
<quoted text>
VQ we don't know that. We don't know what that boy's present situation is and what it could have been. All we know is he has no mother, has 2 fathers who are homosexual, is obligated to wear the gay banner as a boy/young man wherever he goes, a lot to bear on his little shoulders. Do these men restrain themselves or do they kiss, cuddle and hold hands in front of the boy? One thing is certain, he has no mother figure to hold him, put him to bed or nurture him like only a woman can. He was released to a gay male couple, which statistically only last about 4 years. But hey, at least he's no longer at an orphanage or foster home, right?
Yes. In spite of my religious beliefs I have to concede the child is at least better with gay parents then being left in the system. The very fact that a child is given up for adoption at all means that child very well might develop a sense of being unwanted. That's true even if, or until the child is old enough to realize their parents had good reason to give them up. I myself am an adopted child and while I never had that particular issue it is common sense that "adopted" very often equals "unwanted by natural parents" in the mind of a child - until that child matures and sometimes beyond. But when you add to that a child who is left in foster care or to grow up in an orphanage, that feeling of being "unwanted" is amplified. No child deserves that. You're going to tell me that the "stigma" of having gay parents is any worse than the feelings of inadequacy a child has, being around other children who live in family households while they themselves are stuck in foster care or an orphanage? At least if a child is adopted by a samesex couple they feel they belong somewhere, that they're wanted and loved.

When their is a crisis in our culture, of heterosexual would-be parents unable to adopt because all the kids are being adopted by homosexual couples, you'll have a point. But things being as they are I don't see how anyone with compassion should say a child is better off being raised without a family instead of by a samesex couple.

“I'm not gay, I'm celisexual!”

Since: Jul 10

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#14
Jul 14, 2010
 
And Western1 let me add that taking your claim that the average gay relationship only lasts for 4 years as it is - are we going to ignore the fact that in our society heterosexual relationships have a miserable track record? The average kid out there is going to see his parents divorced or break up before he graduates from highschool. What's the difference??

Since: Sep 08

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#15
Jul 14, 2010
 
The Virgin Queen1 wrote:
<quoted text>
Yes. In spite of my religious beliefs I have to concede the child is at least better with gay parents then being left in the system. The very fact that a child is given up for adoption at all means that child very well might develop a sense of being unwanted. That's true even if, or until the child is old enough to realize their parents had good reason to give them up. I myself am an adopted child and while I never had that particular issue it is common sense that "adopted" very often equals "unwanted by natural parents" in the mind of a child - until that child matures and sometimes beyond. But when you add to that a child who is left in foster care or to grow up in an orphanage, that feeling of being "unwanted" is amplified. No child deserves that. You're going to tell me that the "stigma" of having gay parents is any worse than the feelings of inadequacy a child has, being around other children who live in family households while they themselves are stuck in foster care or an orphanage? At least if a child is adopted by a samesex couple they feel they belong somewhere, that they're wanted and loved.
When their is a crisis in our culture, of heterosexual would-be parents unable to adopt because all the kids are being adopted by homosexual couples, you'll have a point. But things being as they are I don't see how anyone with compassion should say a child is better off being raised without a family instead of by a samesex couple.
Hmm. You may have a point.

Since: Sep 08

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#16
Jul 14, 2010
 
The Virgin Queen1 wrote:
And Western1 let me add that taking your claim that the average gay relationship only lasts for 4 years as it is - are we going to ignore the fact that in our society heterosexual relationships have a miserable track record? The average kid out there is going to see his parents divorced or break up before he graduates from highschool. What's the difference??
None. The world is worldly. Ideally he would be adopted by a nurturing couple made up of a mother and father who have religious convictions and divorce is not an option, so the child can receive love and affirmation from both genders.

But I guess being adopted by gay parents or persons out of wed lock is better than remaining in the foster care system. The lesser of two evils.

Since: Dec 08

El Paso, TX

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#17
Jul 14, 2010
 

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Western1 wrote:
<quoted text>
None. The world is worldly. Ideally he would be adopted by a nurturing couple made up of a mother and father who have religious convictions and divorce is not an option, so the child can receive love and affirmation from both genders.
But I guess being adopted by gay parents or persons out of wed lock is better than remaining in the foster care system. The lesser of two evils.
And how many children have you adopted to address this evil?

Since: Sep 08

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#18
Jul 14, 2010
 
TomInElPaso wrote:
<quoted text>
And how many children have you adopted to address this evil?
I just married 2 years ago. We are trying and adoption is an option. There is a great need for parents. So, to answer your question, none yet, but we probably will one day soon.

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