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“A Proud Gay Parent”

Since: Mar 08

Location hidden

#21 Jan 8, 2009
mike wrote:
btw linda, new terms in a contract can only be incorporated if the present contract is terminated. I really doubt if this guy married this woman on the pretext that she would start ` finding herself ` sexually outside their relationship with another person. If she wants to do that, according to your argument, they should get divorced and re-marry with a new set of terms.
Mike, no offense, but Rick came on here to try to get some help and advice. To just tell him that what his wife is doing is wrong isn't of help. The guy loves his wife, but right now is confused and hurt.
I think it shows what a good man he is that he is exploring all his options, trying to educate himself, and is willing to stick by his wife while she goes through this. And nobody knows what the outcome is - which is one of the main things scaring him.
How things worked out for you may not be how they work out for him. I admire his courage to not only stand by his wife, but that he is maintaining the open communication with her and is sharing his feelings with the rest of us - and I'm sure those feelings are very raw at the moment.
Rick, nobody's situation is the same as somebody elses. Only you and your wife can decide what is best for the two of you. My only advice is that you shouldn't compromise what you want or how you feel. It's just as important to be honest with yourself as it is to be with your wife. And, I offer sincere best wishes for the both of you and hope the outcome is a positive one. Please keep us posted.
maluchnik

Boise, ID

#22 Jan 10, 2009
It happens. I am dealing with it with my wife right now....I am in the Air Force and I have strong reason to believe she is playing with a Air Force female....a black one no less. And my wife is Asian. But with kids and all...I am trying to work out a solution which will keep the family together. If it were with a man, though, she'd be out the door.
John

Parker, CO

#23 Feb 18, 2010
Regardless of what anyone says, their opinions are formed by their own set of values and experiences. Let me relay mine. After fourteen years, my (now way-ex) wife tells me she wants me out. went to talk to another woman, who lived in FL,(i was in IL). There was a spark there, and FL doen't offer snow, so after returning home, and seeing me being the only one offering to budge, moving to FL became an option.

After moving, and trying to settle in (it might as well have been a foreign country), the (then) wife comes to FL in an attempt to get me back, not long after she was served. I didn't then, but she was persistant, and it was either return to Illinois, or face insanity. It was then she confessed to the relationship, and I have to admit it was all right there in front of me all along. but she said it was over, and i believed her.

In the meantime, she had formed a partnership with the girlfriend, refinishing antiques, and reselling them at a running show (each weekend - spring through fall). Given the nature of their business, I would not see her from Friday morning to late Sunday night, when she would return exhausted. Lovemaking only occurred two - three days before her period.

Several times, I requested she extricate herself from the relationship, each time i was met with resistance. I toned down my emotions, and two and a half years later, she came home from one of her Friday nights 'with the girls' all in a funk. It wasn't till Sunday night, i found the reason: The girlfriend realized she was going to get what she wanted (that being my wife) so she decided to boogie. I should have left too, but I stuck by her for several more months. the ending is that i found someone on the 'net, and when i realized i could not have done any worse than returning to the (now ex) wife, I left for good.

My point is that I wasted several years trying to maintain a relationship, and it took a long time, but i came to realize I was little more than her financier, and beard. Get an attorney.
John

Parker, CO

#24 Feb 18, 2010
Sorry -- this paragraph should read:

Several times, I requested she extricate herself from the relationship, each time i was met with resistance. I toned down my emotions, and two and a half years later, she came home from one of her Friday nights 'with the girls' all in a funk. It wasn't till Sunday night, i found the reason: The girlfriend realized she was NOT going to get what she wanted (that being my wife) so she decided to boogie. I should have left too, but I stuck by her for several more months. the ending is that i found someone on the 'net, and when i realized i could not have done any worse than returning to the (now ex) wife, I left for good.

My point is that I wasted several years trying to maintain a relationship, and it took a long time, but i came to realize I was little more than her financier, and beard. Part of her may have loved me, but not enough to make her change her ways.

Get an attorney.
Short Left Index Finger

Toronto, Canada

#25 Feb 18, 2010
Daniel P from Long Island wrote:
Men marrying lesbians is more common than you think. It's happened to many famous people including Burt Reynolds and Lou Diamond Phillips.
It also happened to my next door neighnor's son after he had 2 kids with his wife. She left him for a woman.
I would suggest getting a lawyer asap.
Good Luck !
Judy Carne and Julie Cypher are bisexual not totaly gay.Lesbians are not interested in bisexuals.Women don't date people who sleep with men.Straight women as well.
Frank Stanton

Saratoga Springs, NY

#26 Feb 19, 2010
Short Left Index Finger wrote:
<quoted text>Judy Carne and Julie Cypher are bisexual not totaly gay.Lesbians are not interested in bisexuals.Women don't date people who sleep with men.Straight women as well.
I disagree. Look at Meredith Baxter. She married several men, had a bunch or kids, and then comes out as a granny lesbian. Lesbians DO marry str8 men as well as gay men marrying women. The reasons are many, but basically it comes down to an issue of honesty.

My sister recently married a man, and my new brother-in-law was previously married to a lesbian and they had a child together. The boy, now 11 years old, lives with my new brother-in-law and my sister.

Gay people marrying str8 people is very common.
Frank Stanton

Saratoga Springs, NY

#27 Feb 19, 2010
Christine (Chrissy) Gephardt, the out daughter of former Representative Richard Gephardt, who ran for the Democratic Party's nomination for POTUS, also married a man and remained married to him for many years.

Actress Kelly McGillis, a self-decribed out lesbian, was also married to several men. This happens all the time.

“Marriage=Love+Co mmitment.....”

Since: Oct 07

Location hidden

#28 Feb 19, 2010
It is very common Frank, for women who are not straight to marry men, sometimes for many years. Often after they have had the life we have been conditioned by society to want, they realize that doesn't make them happy. Sometimes they meet a woman, becomes friends, and fall in love totally unexpectedly. Then they begin to acknowledge their sexuality. They usually say they are bisexual then. Some remain bisexual all their lives and some come to call themselves lesbian. One thing is sure; they never were truly straight.

Yes, it is kind of a question of honesty, but being honest with themselves, not because they are deliberately deceiving anyone else. If they could feel more comfortable with their sexuality earlier, it just might lead to less marriages that don't work out because of their sexuality.
Frank Stanton

Saratoga Springs, NY

#29 Feb 19, 2010
LindaS wrote:
It is very common Frank, for women who are not straight to marry men, sometimes for many years. Often after they have had the life we have been conditioned by society to want, they realize that doesn't make them happy. Sometimes they meet a woman, becomes friends, and fall in love totally unexpectedly. Then they begin to acknowledge their sexuality. They usually say they are bisexual then. Some remain bisexual all their lives and some come to call themselves lesbian. One thing is sure; they never were truly straight.
Yes, it is kind of a question of honesty, but being honest with themselves, not because they are deliberately deceiving anyone else. If they could feel more comfortable with their sexuality earlier, it just might lead to less marriages that don't work out because of their sexuality.
My next door neighbor's son married a lesbian and my brother-in-law of 3 months married a lesbian years ago. Both of them had kids with the women before the women announced they were gay.

It's common.
Steve

Denver, CO

#30 Dec 9, 2011
I'm really a liberal guy who is married to a beautiful, sexy woman. I'm proud to say I do my best to make our marriage, loving, fun, with lots of intimacy. Sex maybe three times a week I bring her off oraly, analy and everything in between.
But she has this itch to be with other women on occasion. I suppose thats because before we were married she had many girl friends. Now I don't have a problem with this, she even has brought them home for dinner and the entire evening. Last week we took time off work, and we met up with a bi-sexual couple. they invited us to there home and one thing led to another and we all ended up in there bed. The girls made love and us guys also made love. We spent three days at there house having sex. It was wonderful !!!!!

“WOOF !”

Since: Jul 11

Libertarian

#31 Dec 10, 2011
Where's Frank Stanton when you need him ?!
Happen to me

Gardner, MA

#32 Dec 11, 2011
I found out that my wife was with a women after she came home one night late. It was a good married friend of ours. Yes her husband knows After that things changed in our life for the best. We used to talk about things like this while having sex. We have watched many movies also

Let me tell you I never thought I would EVER be with a man until my wife of 31 years said she would like to see me suck a man's cock. One of our friends (The same ones)stop by on a Friday night and she asked if i wanted a To see what it was like watching her the with a women only part of the deal was that I had to what ever she asked me to. All I can say what a night. Now we are very open and our marriage is stronger than ever. So try it

So yes we are both Bi-sexual and find nothing wrong with that You be VERY surprised how many Married couples are are Bi-sexual. and are swingers . As long as everyone says YES it is a great time And I bet there are more couples out there that enjoy this lifestyle also

Please talk it out its NOT the end of the world and your marriage. It could bring you closer than before. As long as you BOTH AGREE to what ever happens

Since: Feb 10

Location hidden

#33 Jan 20, 2012
Rick,
I would be very interested in a follow up on the outcome of your wife. Please share.

Thanks
Easy-pd

Tiverton, UK

#34 Jun 29, 2014
I am married to a beautiful woman. I see other beautiful women that I am attracted to. Do I go and try to do anything with them? No!

IF I liked men, would I go try anything with them? No!

Looking and doing are different. What's the difference between boys and girls? What's the difference between infidelity and monogamy? Take the sexuality out of it and just ask: am I happy for my wife to fuk another? If so, no probs, if not then a frank talk is needed.....

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