“Reality bites”

Since: Dec 11

Location hidden

#80902 Mar 7, 2013
Croc wrote:
GodSmacked wrote:
<quoted text>
It is very sad indeed and came directly from this very thread we are posting on now.
you sure about that?
Frank is not here, he moved back to Dumbass Land, go find him

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JAX

Anonymous Proxy

#80903 Mar 7, 2013
-true story
A modern Orthodox Jewish couple, preparing for a religious wedding
meets with their rabbi for counselling.

The rabbi asks if they have any last questions before they leave.

The man asks, "Rabbi, we realize it's tradition for men to dance with men, and women to dance with women at the reception. But, we'd like your permission to dance together, like the rest of the world."

"Absolutely not," says the rabbi. "It's immodest. Men and women always
dance sepa-rately."

"So after the ceremony I can't even dance with my own wife?"

"No," answered the rabbi. "It's forbidden."

"Well, okay," says the man, "What about sex? Can we finally have sex?"

"Of course!" replies the rabbi. "Sex is a mitzvah a good thing within marriage, to have children!"

"What about different positions?" asks the man

"No problem," says the rabbi "It's a mitzvah!"

"Woman on top?" the man asks.

"Sure," says the rabbi. "Go for it! It's a mitzvah!"

"Doggy style?"

"Sure! Another mitzvah!"

"On the kitchen table?"

"Yes, yes! A mitzvah!"

"Can we do it on rubber sheets with a bottle of hot oil, a couple of vibrators, a leather harness, a bucket of honey and a porno video?"
"You may indeed. It's all a mitzvah!"

"Can we do it standing up?"

"No." says the rabbi."

"Why not?" asks the man.

"Could lead to dancing!" Rabbi replied

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JAX

Anonymous Proxy

#80904 Mar 7, 2013
A Jewish homosexual is in San Francisco for Yom Kippur, and hears that there
is a gay shul on Canal Street.

He walks on Canal until he sees a synagogue, and enters it. The men are on
one side and the woman are on the other.

Seeing a stranger, the shamas invites him up on the bima for an aliya.
Standing next to him is a good looking guy, so the gay Jew pinches his
toches.

Suddenly, there is silence in the synagogue, followed by murmuring.
The gay says, "What did I do? This is a gay synagogue! What did I do
wrong?"

The shammes screams that the gay shul is two blocks down the street,
and that the gay should get the hell out of this normal shul.

The gay walks down the street and sees a building with the sign "Gay Brethren
of Israel". He enters in glee, and sees that again the men are sitting on
one side and the women on the other. Only this time, they are holding hands
and making out with each other.

The gay takes a seat, and the shammes seeing a new face, invites him for an
aliya. The gay is on the bima, and next to him is standing a very good
looking fellow. The gay can't control himself, and pinches his toches.
Suddenly, the synagogue erupts into a mass of murmuring.

The gay says, "What did I do? What did I do? This is a gay synagogue,
what did I do wrong?"

One man gets up and says, "Yes, this is a gay synagogue! And we have very
few rules here. But one of them is that no one fools around with the
rebbetzin!!"

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Jake

Alexandria, VA

#80905 Mar 7, 2013
Jazybird58 wrote:
<quoted text>Frank is not here, he moved back to Dumbass Land, go find him
Are you a queer?

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Jackson

Irving, TX

#80907 Mar 7, 2013
Jake wrote:
<quoted text>
Are you a queer?
Excellent post, thanks for sharing.

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“Reality bites”

Since: Dec 11

Location hidden

#80908 Mar 7, 2013
Jake wrote:
<quoted text>
Are you a queer?
What if I am? Am I less of a man?

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Jackson

Dallas, TX

#80909 Mar 7, 2013
Jazybird58 wrote:
<quoted text>What if I am? Am I less of a man?
GirlyMan

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“Reality bites”

Since: Dec 11

Location hidden

#80910 Mar 7, 2013
Jackson wrote:
<quoted text>GirlyMan
Is that somehow bad?

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JAX

Anonymous Proxy

#80912 Mar 7, 2013
http://www.vosizneias.com/116259/2012/11/01/n ...

New York - A Jewish Rabbi is blaming Hurricane Sandy on gays, calling devastation of New York ‘divine justice’ for the city’s same-sex marriage laws.
Advertisement:

Rabbi Noson Leiter of Torah Jews for Decency compared the superstorm which swept across the US eastern coast this week to a biblical disaster.
‘We believe that the great flood at the time of Noah…[was] triggered by the recognition of same-gender marriages,’ the cleric said, reported Right Wing Watch.

btw the correct punctuation for homosexual in Hebrew is CckSKR

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Jake

Alexandria, VA

#80913 Mar 7, 2013
Jazybird58 wrote:
<quoted text>What if I am? Am I less of a man?
Why yes you are my little a:ss goblin.

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“unstoppable”

Since: Jul 11

Hell

#80914 Mar 7, 2013
JAX wrote:
A Jewish homosexual is in San Francisco for Yom Kippur, and hears that there
is a gay shul on Canal Street.
He walks on Canal until he sees a synagogue, and enters it. The men are on
one side and the woman are on the other.
Seeing a stranger, the shamas invites him up on the bima for an aliya.
Standing next to him is a good looking guy, so the gay Jew pinches his
toches.
Suddenly, there is silence in the synagogue, followed by murmuring.
The gay says, "What did I do? This is a gay synagogue! What did I do
wrong?"
The shammes screams that the gay shul is two blocks down the street,
and that the gay should get the hell out of this normal shul.
The gay walks down the street and sees a building with the sign "Gay Brethren
of Israel". He enters in glee, and sees that again the men are sitting on
one side and the women on the other. Only this time, they are holding hands
and making out with each other.
The gay takes a seat, and the shammes seeing a new face, invites him for an
aliya. The gay is on the bima, and next to him is standing a very good
looking fellow. The gay can't control himself, and pinches his toches.
Suddenly, the synagogue erupts into a mass of murmuring.
The gay says, "What did I do? What did I do? This is a gay synagogue,
what did I do wrong?"
One man gets up and says, "Yes, this is a gay synagogue! And we have very
few rules here. But one of them is that no one fools around with the
rebbetzin!!"
So you don't like Jews or Gays, got it. All that hatred that you do, all that hate, comes back to you.

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“Reality bites”

Since: Dec 11

Location hidden

#80915 Mar 7, 2013
Jake wrote:
<quoted text>
Why yes you are my little a:ss goblin.
That's nice. Hey your mom is calling, its time for lunch

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JAX

Anonymous Proxy

#80916 Mar 7, 2013
black clouds in the North East , stench of rotting flesh, flocks of migrating birds dead before they hit the ground, this can only mean one thing 'the j8ster is near lurking in the shadows'

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JAX

Anonymous Proxy

#80917 Mar 7, 2013
_Olive_ wrote:
<quoted text>
So you don't like Jews or Gays, got it. All that hatred that you do, all that hate, comes back to you.
hocus pocus abra ca dabra SKANK time for your 20,000 calorie lunch

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Jackson

Oklahoma City, OK

#80918 Mar 7, 2013
Hey, we got any sodomites in this thread today?

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JAX

Anonymous Proxy

#80920 Mar 7, 2013
sodomites is that like a leather daddy? I bet Jade wood no.

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JAX

Anonymous Proxy

#80921 Mar 7, 2013
j8 u have mail

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“Reality bites”

Since: Dec 11

Location hidden

#80923 Mar 7, 2013
Jackson wrote:
Hey, we got any sodomites in this thread today?
Hi Jackson, I bet that you to are a sodomite.

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Jackson

Dallas, TX

#80925 Mar 7, 2013
Jazybird58 wrote:
<quoted text>Hi Jackson, I bet that you to are a sodomite.
When Jade gets here he will probably correct your grammar, it should be "too", not "to"!!!

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fRANKY

Anonymous Proxy

#80927 Mar 7, 2013
early to bed early to rise , locked down in state asylum is a beaitch when the lights go out poke and hope

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