BRING ON THE MIDGET HOOKERS WITH BIG TA TAS AND JUICY SNAPPERS YEAAAAAAA
#77079 Jan 18, 2013
LETS GET THIS PARTAY STARTED !!!
BRING ON THE MIDGET HOOKERS WITH BIG TA TAS AND JUICY SNAPPERS YEAAAAAAA
#77080 Jan 18, 2013
I never believed what people said
That me missus liked other blokes in her bed
So I'll tell you my story,
Each word it is true
Just in case it should happen to you
Came home from work
Early one night
Walked into my house
And had quite a fright
My missus was chained
From her toes to her head!
She saw me and fainted -
When recovered she said......
"Oh Harry, you gave me a terrible shock -
I was trying my lovely new chain-mail frock!!"
I chose to believe when I looked in her eyes
Just couldn't conceive that she'd ever tell lies
Then later that week
On returning from darts
I noticed my wife had the terrible farts
I asked her "Pour quoi?"
She replied as such -
"The eggs, they were off
And I ate far too much!!"
I thought nothing of it,
Settled down for a nap,
But was aroused from my slumber
By our squeaky cat-flap
I thought this quite odd
As our cat was long dead
Then through sleepy-hazed eyes
I could see this blokes head!
I jumped from my chair
And I pointed with blame
"This man is your lover,
Now tell me his name!"
She tried to stay calm
But her voiced dripped with fear
And she feebly offered.......
"It's the milkman my dear!"
I should have paid heed
To the words people said
Indeed it did seem
That she liked 'giving head'!
I confronted her thus,
In response she did say,
"But to you I can't do it -
I think that you're gay!"
I took a deep breath
Told her "Don't hit the roof,
But it seems now's the time
For the sharing of truth.........
Don't take it too hard,
But the truth of all this
Is the 'Mr' you married
Was at one time a 'Miss'!!"
#77081 Jan 18, 2013
Nothing says class better than a fine Chik-Fil-A gourmet samitch!
Not only are you displaying great taste and class, you are enjoying a very nutritious meal and supporting a very socially conscious eatery!
#77082 Jan 18, 2013
Chik-Fil-A gourmet samitch!'s Mmmmm good and good for you two.
#77083 Jan 18, 2013
It's a fine dining establishment with the added plus that you don't have to rub elbows with queers when you dine there:-)
#77086 Jan 18, 2013
The Mediocre Abilities of Teenage Wannabees
She's called Sharon and she reads The Stage
Answers adverts for singing girls on the pages
You can join a new all original 5 piece band
In fact like all the other groups in the land
The advertisers try to make it sound fresh
So they can get their short-skirted flesh
And shag a plenty with slags young bags
Then dump them when their bits begin to sag
Sharons' not sagging so she digs out a CV
The lie document for all aspiring wannabees
Packs up her cheap demo that she cut for 10 quid
Of Britney Spears covers that she unfortunately did
In goes a stage photo all gloss and cheese
Big fake grins and no double chins please
In a top so low cut it makes a ribbon look wide
And in a bra so tight she almost fainted and died
Greg was also reading the ad in The Stage
The same request for singers on the same page
An all new 5 piece to rival Steps and Five
Held in an audition room bound to be a dive
Greg was boy band, Greg was all earrings
A wonky blond dyed moppet all young thing
Worked in Top Shop to afford his singing demo
Scribbled down love lyrics on Post It Memos
Sharon and Greg went to the arena
Of baiting producers and waiting Garys and Tinas
On one minute and off with a 'Next!'
Their squawking shrill tones left them vexed
The audition was in a back street old pub
That was smelly and damp and filled with grubs
Not just the management spotting star potential
And willingness to sleep with them was essential
Sharon was nearly late for her 2.00 call
Because of a tourist who misdirected her to a church hall
She would ask a tourist, that's just her luck
And after a 10 hour delayed journey life sure sucked
Greg nearly got run over in the mad dash
His clean shirt got splattered in mud splash
Nearly lost his return ticket to Wolverhampton
When he stopped at a caf for a coffee and scone.
Greg burst in as the management called 'Greg!'
But he was relieved when it was another Greg
And dashed to the toilet to clean up his shirt
Wiped off the mud and stray bits of dirt
Sharon went on next in her 1 inch skirt
The management man in check shirt was dirt
And no scrubbing him in the toilet would clean
This letchy mans' leerings were quite obscene
His name was Gerry and he had a pacemaker
A crap baseball cap and a face like a Quaker
All red and jolly but a very unholy man
For the next 5 minutes he was a Sharon fan
He salivered and drooled as she squeaked
And watched her blouse and the twin peaks
Scratched his balls through combat pants
With Sharon he thought he'd have a chance
Her voice was that irritating modern whine
So in a teeny band she'd do just fine
All fake come hither looks and promise of f**ks
But in secret they skit at their fans'looks
On their turgid plop a long brain damaging toss
Sugar saccharine flavoured all a like dross
#77087 Jan 18, 2013
No better than New Kids who should be on a block
Or Bros dross candyfloss ripped trouser Goss
Nowadays it's Five who can't count any further along
Billie the Kid and Westlife half life cover songs
Steps the Schweppes fizzy dizzy troupe group
One wishes dearly they would all develop croup
Sharons mind was just on her songs
Not on pre baked boy bands the ready meal in thongs
She squealed and strutted through pop
Britney baby Hit Me One More Time slop
'Wonderful, marvellous give her the job'
Said sleazy check shirt whose pants throb
Sharon whooped and screamed in delight
But she wouldn't be so happy later tonight...
Greg could sing he had a reasonable sound
But sleaze man was jealous of muscle bound
So he told him he was chronic and to piss off
'You shouldn't even sing in the bath', he coughed
The other management agreed in fear
That if they accepted Greg he'd slice their rears
So Greg slunk back depressed to Wolverhampton
On his found ticket and cried and wished he'd not gone
Sharon though was full of girly cheer
And was sent to meet the other pop five here
There's David and Shelley and Paul and Tori
All bouncy happy people with no life story
They all giggled and welcomed young Sharon
And warned her of the sleazy pop baron
Who would expect sex tonight in his mansion
And sexy exploits for the sleazy man of passion
Sharon squirmed in disgust at this idea
She was hoping that he merely just leered
But he was after a little more than looking
This manager went through the band f**king!
He rotated the band on a daily routine
David one night and Paul and Tori the teen
Now it was Sharon's turn to romp and play
Or it would be bye bye dear if no hey hey hey!
Sharon wouldn't couldn't entertain sleaze
She imagined that he would likely wheeze
And grunt with all the lan of a boar
In the mating season how he'd roar
So Sharon had a cunning plan
To ward off the sleazy chunk of ham
She substituted herself for a blow up doll
In his bedroom he knew no different, how droll!
So she could sing in his stupid group
But she would never have to grope.
#77089 Jan 18, 2013
heeeeey hows that sentence structure ?
#77090 Jan 18, 2013
"face" a.k.a. HH is about done with her 3rd large 5 topping pizza and bucket of hot wings , washer down with cheap vodka and a diet coke 675 lb mark 35 more pounds and will hold the title as the worlds famous fattest hobbit ever to exist. yaaaa
#77091 Jan 18, 2013
Back again everybody. Lil baby blocked me agan earlier today.
#77096 Jan 18, 2013
Faggotry is evil pure and simple. If you doubt this, just look at Jade's mentor Jerry Sandusky.
#77097 Jan 18, 2013
Or Jeffrey Dahmer
#77098 Jan 18, 2013
John Wayne Gacy
#77099 Jan 18, 2013
Lyle n Erik Menendez
#77100 Jan 18, 2013
#77102 Jan 18, 2013
Aye! Argghh! Avast you scurvy dog landlubbers! Pay attention!
'Twas a heavy blow on the stiff masts of the Willie as the crew sailed out the golden gate from the Castro, Fire Island bound!
As they headed south the blow stiffened the masts further! All poopdecks were soon constantly awash in spume!
Cap'n Jade gripped firmly the cabin boy Billie's sunburned shoulders from Billy's stern while simultaneously unbuckling his pantaloons and eyeing the young lad's poopdeck!
Through the canal with all hands aboard! The par-tay got so wild in Panama with the local young Panamanian lads from the beach that they lost the Willie! She slipped her anchor during the heaviest of the debauchery! Drifting westward towards the Japans!
Arrgghh! Avast! Aye!
“Can't help being fabulous”
Since: Dec 10
#77103 Jan 19, 2013
Silly deranged little man.
#77104 Jan 19, 2013
I see nothing has changed still sexually confused.
#77105 Jan 19, 2013
Arrg shiver me timbers
#77106 Jan 19, 2013
Asexuality?? whack off a lot 'ey?
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