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46,881 - 46,900 of 67,669 Comments Last updated 11 min ago
Straight Sh00ter

Topeka, KS

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#69642
Oct 14, 2012
 

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Everybody is waiting for the sermon. Where's Good Reverend?
Twenty Three Triangles

Springfield, MA

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#69643
Oct 14, 2012
 

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Have 69 sides altogether.

Two hundred and twenty two triangles have 666 sides altogether.

How queer.
Walter

Germany

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#69644
Oct 14, 2012
 

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Has anyone heard from GodSmacked ? Aids?

let her know i am wanting to speak to her about safe deposit box
Twenty Three Triangles

Springfield, MA

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#69645
Oct 14, 2012
 

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We're all set Walt! I got the key right here.
Twenty Three Triangles

Springfield, MA

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#69646
Oct 14, 2012
 

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You defame my wife, you defame my children, you dishonor father and mother.
You get the horns!
You are a cult!
Sit down and shut your mouth!
Lester

Frankfurt, Germany

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#69647
Oct 14, 2012
 

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hear the one about gay man goes in bar to play shuffle boared and drink a few brewskis and there is only four bar stools? Stop me if you heard this'n.
2ROLL

Kazakhstan

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#69648
Oct 14, 2012
 

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DEDICATE TO MY DEAR FRIEND j8ster:
feces
So last night I had a really weird ass dream. I mean, I woke up friggin 4am in the morning with 2 hours to spare til my supposed wake up time. I hate waking up in middle of night. So anyways I finally go back to bed. And what I dreamt of was weird as hell. If you can’t handle weird shit let alone handle me I advise you to skip this pot, although you will be missing out on crazaaay psychoanalysis lol.
This is how it begins. So it is 4am in the morning in my dream, someone keeps buzzing on my sister’s cell phone over and over again, she picks it up and she is pissed off cuz someone called her 4am in the damn morning. It is only Jill Valentine from Resident Evil, who just calls my sister to ask if she can do her project that she doesn’t know wtf to do. So my sister, pissed that Jill had to fucking call 4am in the morning was all “no bitch” and hangs up on her.
So my family then decides to hire a family doctor, but the family doctor really is an intern- a wannabe doctor that just helps us out via health issues. For some weird ass reason, the doctor decides that it would be healthy and good for me to have this weird ass tube stuck up in my ass that would like absorb all my shit… seriously… thats the weird part of this whole damn dream. The doctor also for some reason happened to have same name as one of my coworkers, but they looked like a totally different person someone else a patron I see every now and then who has kinda been a pain in the ass to deal with (which they literally do inflict in the dream).
So now I have this tube up my ass full of shit/diarrhea which for some godforsaken reason is visible to everyone and it’s super uncomfortable to walk around hell I even end up staining a pretty dress I wore full of crap in the back. I even try to chase the doctor cuz it was all day man 9-4 bitch just wouldn’t take the fucking tube off. So I’m even in one of her classes trying to convince that ho to take the shit off but she just wouldn’t damn it saying that it’s healthy and beneficial for me… I even tried to look up a way myself to take it out… and then that’s where the dream ended.
So what the fuck do you say or think about such a weird ass dream? Well, from interpreting the shit part- you can say I really am full of shit. That I do have a lot of waste and toxicity in me. Freud says shit represents pride and shame, negativity. Since I have all these hidden negative emotions in me, I am afraid to let them go myself- take the tube myself and I want someone else, the doctor who brought that shit out to take it out themselves because they are the ones who put that tube in there.
And many times in life we do that, someone brings out the worst in you and then you expect them to fix it up for you, but they cannot do that- only you can heal and fix yourself which is the moral of the dream of course.
2ROLL

Kazakhstan

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#69649
Oct 14, 2012
 

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So where the hell does the pride come from, and what the fuck is up with the Jill Valentine part in the beginning? Well, truth is I idealize, I want to be cool and looked up to like women like Jill Valentine. Sexy, cool, strong, brave, admirable. In coming to understand myself, I’ve realized a majority of my goals in life was to project this image to others as this is my idealized self. However I get sad and start to hate others because others do not see me that way, they ridicule me- make me feel even worse. In fact, as time goes by I’m more of a Rose from the Golden Girls than any badass Jill Valentine or Aeon Flux. I’m sweet, a bit slow, I’m shy- not the best with others. But I am a damn good baker, funny writer and I have a lot of love to give. But thing- is who I want to be contrasts with who I really am, and it’s hard to accept myself for who I am because I believe only badass people get respect and love. I feel as though I have to write the next amazing “Harry Potter”, because I want to be respected and admired by others. I want to be an authority I guess. Because nobody respects a Rose. A majority of my life I’ve been babied and looked out for- I want to be the one watching and protecting others, the one and only- someone special.
So I guess that’s what the feces is supposed to represent, that aspect of myself- the idealized me… and I’ve had many problems because of it. I’ve made so many mistakes so far in my life, only I can fix them. I know that God will not magically fix them for me, but that he will be there with me every step as I fix them- because I guess in a sense he is trying to help me be the badass I want to be. Badasses are made, not born. But thing is, am I truly meant to be a badass? Should I be happy with the way I am, and learn to love the ditzy girl I am?
Now that is something else to ponder about, just hopefully it doesn’t involve shit again…

queer ey?
2ROLL

Kazakhstan

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#69650
Oct 14, 2012
 

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opps part 1 of 2

feces
So last night I had a really weird ass dream. I mean, I woke up friggin 4am in the morning with 2 hours to spare til my supposed wake up time. I hate waking up in middle of night. So anyways I finally go back to bed. And what I dreamt of was weird as hell. If you can’t handle weird shit let alone handle me I advise you to skip this pot, although you will be missing out on crazaaay psychoanalysis lol.

This is how it begins. So it is 4am in the morning in my dream, someone keeps buzzing on my sister’s cell phone over and over again, she picks it up and she is pissed off cuz someone called her 4am in the damn morning. It is only Jill Valentine from Resident Evil, who just calls my sister to ask if she can do her project that she doesn’t know wtf to do. So my sister, pissed that Jill had to fucking call 4am in the morning was all “no bitch” and hangs up on her.

So my family then decides to hire a family doctor, but the family doctor really is an intern- a wannabe doctor that just helps us out via health issues. For some weird ass reason, the doctor decides that it would be healthy and good for me to have this weird ass tube stuck up in my ass that would like absorb all my shit… seriously… thats the weird part of this whole damn dream. The doctor also for some reason happened to have same name as one of my coworkers, but they looked like a totally different person someone else a patron I see every now and then who has kinda been a pain in the ass to deal with (which they literally do inflict in the dream).

So now I have this tube up my ass full of shit/diarrhea which for some godforsaken reason is visible to everyone and it’s super uncomfortable to walk around hell I even end up staining a pretty dress I wore full of crap in the back. I even try to chase the doctor cuz it was all day man 9-4 bitch just wouldn’t take the fucking tube off. So I’m even in one of her classes trying to convince that ho to take the shit off but she just wouldn’t damn it saying that it’s healthy and beneficial for me… I even tried to look up a way myself to take it out… and then that’s where the dream ended.
2ROLL

Kazakhstan

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#69651
Oct 14, 2012
 

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btw dedicated to j8ster
2ROLL

Kazakhstan

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#69652
Oct 14, 2012
 

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wait a sec birds dropping from the sky horrible stank
put a hurt on my nose can only mean one thing butt first things first batten down the hatches, j8 near!
2ROLL

Kazakhstan

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#69653
Oct 14, 2012
 

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yup banging hoofs together grunting, farting, drooling, slobbering, growling, groveling sameo sameo
nose picking all the way to the knuckle.

j8ster cannot break the code ...
2ROLL

Lviv, Ukraine

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#69654
Oct 14, 2012
 

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I'LL BE BACK

meantime hold your breath till i return ...
HANDSOMEHOMEY

Providence, RI

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#69655
Oct 14, 2012
 

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HOWDY PARTNER
HANDSOMEHOMIE

Columbus, OH

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#69656
Oct 14, 2012
 

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GRREAT PART A Y !!!....... yee haaw!@6(&^$$#!~

*hint
secret code
HMOITO R2

San Antonio, TX

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#69657
Oct 14, 2012
 

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yeah thats right i get around . . .
Straight Sh00ter

Topeka, KS

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#69658
Oct 14, 2012
 

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Romney will win.
Barney Franks Lover

Thailand

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#69659
Oct 14, 2012
 

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Have you ever put your anal beads in the freezer before use? Ooh la la baby! That is some serious freakiness, but I got an icecream headache from it.
Stardust Lipstick

Springfield, MA

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#69660
Oct 14, 2012
 

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2ROLL wrote:
I'LL BE BACK
meantime hold your breath till i return ...
It sounds to me like you were abducted by aliens. This is a classic example since you talk about poo and a tube being inserted into your can. Aliens use water and magnetic reverse engineering to propel themselves through a gravity less universe. However, it is the poo that they need to propel their saucers within our gravity flled environment like earth. Poo is a sensational energy source for them especially if you consume a lot of refried beans and NY Strip Steak. Hence, so many cattle mutilations. If you need any more information and guidance, please, don't hesitate to ask. This happens to me every second Saturday of the month and yes my sister has a friend named Jill.
We are connected.
Chimichanga Lipstick

Springfield, MA

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#69662
Oct 14, 2012
 

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Barney Franks Lover wrote:
Have you ever put your anal beads in the freezer before use? Ooh la la baby! That is some serious freakiness, but I got an icecream headache from it.
In the winter you may want to try the microwave. Make sure the beads have no metal or the house could blow the rooftop into the next county. Among udder fings Bawney.
Peace.

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