Dear Abby 11-12: Longtime gay couple may be better off not marrying

Nov 12, 2013 Full story: The Daily Record 50

DEAR ABBY: I have been with my partner, "Harold," for 11 years. After gay marriage passed here in Minnesota, Harold told me he didn't want to marry me because of my credit rating.

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Since: Mar 09

Location hidden

#21 Nov 13, 2013
RalphB wrote:
<quoted text>
You and I must have been young at approximately the same time. My spouse and I had no debt when we got together. Not even a car loan. We purchased our first house with 20% down-payment, and paid off a 30 year mortgage in 12-1/2 years. We have always paid cash for anything else we bought. And we paid off our credit cards every month. So we have never had to worry about a credit rating.
I have a coupe of decades on you, I think, but those are the old values.

Bought a house on time?

<shudder>

“Equality First”

Since: Jan 09

St. Louis, MO

#22 Nov 14, 2013
nhjeff wrote:
<quoted text>
There are some people who really were dealt a bad deal. But most of the people who can't afford their car insist on buying cars that they can't afford. There are plenty of people who make more money than me who have mortgages and car payments, and they're wondering if they'll ever be able to retire.
I suppose they come under the heading of ignorant or spoiled.

Since: Dec 08

El Paso, TX

#23 Nov 14, 2013
RalphB wrote:
<quoted text>
I suppose they come under the heading of ignorant or spoiled.
Or screwed over by a mortgage broker.

“Together for 24, legal for 5”

Since: Sep 07

Littleton, NH

#24 Nov 14, 2013
TomInElPaso wrote:
<quoted text>
Or screwed over by a mortgage broker.
Still a result of ignorance. If people had better understanding of finance, they wouldn't be duped by the mortgage brokers.

That's not to excuse the mortgage companies. They broke their fiduciary duty to protect their employers' assets by correctly assessing risk. There are also ethical expectations about selling inappropriate products to customers. But I've almost never heard of those rules being enforced.

Since: Mar 09

Location hidden

#25 Nov 14, 2013
TomInElPaso wrote:
<quoted text>
Or screwed over by a mortgage broker.
Real Estate Brokers/Sellers and many independent Loan Brokers are somewhere between parasites and crooks.

It really doesn't take an RE Broker to advertize or transfer a house.

Since: Mar 09

Location hidden

#26 Nov 14, 2013
nhjeff wrote:
<quoted text>
Still a result of ignorance. If people had better understanding of finance, they wouldn't be duped by the mortgage brokers.
That's not to excuse the mortgage companies. They broke their fiduciary duty to protect their employers' assets by correctly assessing risk. There are also ethical expectations about selling inappropriate products to customers. But I've almost never heard of those rules being enforced.
"Products" my poor tired feet!

They produce NOTHING, so "products" is a misnomer. Newspeak.

“Together for 24, legal for 5”

Since: Sep 07

Littleton, NH

#27 Nov 14, 2013
snyper wrote:
<quoted text>
"Products" my poor tired feet!
They produce NOTHING, so "products" is a misnomer. Newspeak.
And yet, the financial sector is responsible for 20% of corporate profits in the US. We truly have the tail wagging the dog....

“Equality First”

Since: Jan 09

St. Louis, MO

#28 Nov 14, 2013
nhjeff wrote:
<quoted text>
Still a result of ignorance. If people had better understanding of finance, they wouldn't be duped by the mortgage brokers.
That's not to excuse the mortgage companies. They broke their fiduciary duty to protect their employers' assets by correctly assessing risk. There are also ethical expectations about selling inappropriate products to customers. But I've almost never heard of those rules being enforced.
I don't know much about mortgage brokers. My first and last mortgage was in 1973. That was well before all the shenanigans went on. I purchased my last two homes for cash, just so I wouldn't have to pay all that interest.

Since: Mar 09

Location hidden

#29 Nov 14, 2013
nhjeff wrote:
<quoted text>
And yet, the financial sector is responsible for 20% of corporate profits in the US. We truly have the tail wagging the dog....
This generation has conflated three very different things: "making money", "earning money" and "amassing money".

To see where this is going, consider that "making money" actually produces something that adds to permanent or near-permanent wealth; i.e. that which need not be worked-for again, for which no further time need be expended.

For example, I still own a small wall-mount crank can opener. It was manufactured in 1931 and still works as well as the day it was manufactured, requires no power other than my already-fed arm and a few seconds to use. In other circumstances, I've used modern can openers that dull quickly, lose their ability to rotate around the can, and have to be bought again and again due to it's failings of design. I'm sure that you can think of a plethora of other such products.

Similarly, my family in Europe own houses that have been in the family for centuries. Bam! That never needs to be bought again, just maintained, and if done properly with wise improvements, even the monetary and time cost of THAT goes down ... so the intrinsic wealth goes up.

These are wealth. If in addition to enduring functionality they are also executed with timeless attractiveness, rather than ephemeral trendiness, their wealth value increases.(Who REALLY wants a Rococo ANYTHING. I mean, REALLY.)

Such things are actual wealth, and those who produce them are actually "making money".

The other two terms are far more self-explanatory.

“Together for 24, legal for 5”

Since: Sep 07

Littleton, NH

#30 Nov 14, 2013
snyper wrote:
<quoted text>
This generation has conflated three very different things: "making money", "earning money" and "amassing money".
To see where this is going, consider that "making money" actually produces something that adds to permanent or near-permanent wealth; i.e. that which need not be worked-for again, for which no further time need be expended.
For example, I still own a small wall-mount crank can opener. It was manufactured in 1931 and still works as well as the day it was manufactured, requires no power other than my already-fed arm and a few seconds to use. In other circumstances, I've used modern can openers that dull quickly, lose their ability to rotate around the can, and have to be bought again and again due to it's failings of design. I'm sure that you can think of a plethora of other such products.
Similarly, my family in Europe own houses that have been in the family for centuries. Bam! That never needs to be bought again, just maintained, and if done properly with wise improvements, even the monetary and time cost of THAT goes down ... so the intrinsic wealth goes up.
These are wealth. If in addition to enduring functionality they are also executed with timeless attractiveness, rather than ephemeral trendiness, their wealth value increases.(Who REALLY wants a Rococo ANYTHING. I mean, REALLY.)
Such things are actual wealth, and those who produce them are actually "making money".
The other two terms are far more self-explanatory.
I am not sure that I like your terminology, but I understand your point.(BTW: There is something new in the kitchen. After using this can opener, I would never go back to your 1930's model! http://www.amazon.com/Good-Cook-Classic-Safe-... )

I would put it that people have confused amassing wealth with creating value. Hence, the executive suite at GE gets rich while the scientists sweating in the labs struggle on. In a world that genuinely rewarded hard work, creativity, and better productivity, the scientists would make millions of dollars and the CEO's would be paid like clerical staff.

The other myth which the masses won't let go of is that the CEO's will stop amassing wealth (or, as they call it, working) if we make them pay a few more dollars in taxes. Somehow, the people who build the cars manage to get up every morning and do their jobs for a few thousand dollars a month. But theses CEO's simply won't be able to drag their asses out of bed if they have to share some of their tens of millions with Uncle Sam.

The fact is, the most productive people work primarily for the challenge and love of their job. If the corporate board weren't simply helping one another rip off the shareholders, they would have people lined up to run a company like Disney or GE just for the challenge and the prestige. As it is, they hire guys who are more worried about the bragging rights associated with their pay checks than they are about the shareholders.

Since: Mar 09

Location hidden

#31 Nov 15, 2013
nhjeff wrote:
<quoted text>
I am not sure that I like your terminology, but I understand your point.(BTW: There is something new in the kitchen. After using this can opener, I would never go back to your 1930's model! http://www.amazon.com/Good-Cook-Classic-Safe-... )
I would put it that people have confused amassing wealth with creating value. Hence, the executive suite at GE gets rich while the scientists sweating in the labs struggle on. In a world that genuinely rewarded hard work, creativity, and better productivity, the scientists would make millions of dollars and the CEO's would be paid like clerical staff.
The other myth which the masses won't let go of is that the CEO's will stop amassing wealth (or, as they call it, working) if we make them pay a few more dollars in taxes. Somehow, the people who build the cars manage to get up every morning and do their jobs for a few thousand dollars a month. But theses CEO's simply won't be able to drag their asses out of bed if they have to share some of their tens of millions with Uncle Sam.
The fact is, the most productive people work primarily for the challenge and love of their job. If the corporate board weren't simply helping one another rip off the shareholders, they would have people lined up to run a company like Disney or GE just for the challenge and the prestige. As it is, they hire guys who are more worried about the bragging rights associated with their pay checks than they are about the shareholders.
That just needs to be said again, and Again, and AGAIN.

---------

I've purchased and used some of those rim-splitting openers because I wanted the can bodies for other uses (stacked and soldered as resonators under tuned bars) and had them wear out and fail in rather short order.

My ACME (Yessir, Wiley sir, ACME Co.) can opener is plugging along toward a century of use, still has all of it's heavy chrome plating AND calls the cats whenever used.

“Equality First”

Since: Jan 09

St. Louis, MO

#32 Nov 15, 2013
snyper wrote:
<quoted text>
That just needs to be said again, and Again, and AGAIN.
---------
I've purchased and used some of those rim-splitting openers because I wanted the can bodies for other uses (stacked and soldered as resonators under tuned bars) and had them wear out and fail in rather short order.
My ACME (Yessir, Wiley sir, ACME Co.) can opener is plugging along toward a century of use, still has all of it's heavy chrome plating AND calls the cats whenever used.
I don't have a wall-mounted one from the 30's, but I do have a hand-operated one from the 50's, and it still works fine. I also have a Mix-Master electric mixer from 1973 I use a couple of times a week. Also my father's tool box with many hand tools from the 40's that I use often around the house. He built the tool box himself. Those were the decades of quality.

Since: Mar 09

Location hidden

#33 Nov 15, 2013

Since: Dec 08

El Paso, TX

#34 Nov 15, 2013
snyper wrote:
<quoted text>
This generation has conflated three very different things: "making money", "earning money" and "amassing money".
To see where this is going, consider that "making money" actually produces something that adds to permanent or near-permanent wealth; i.e. that which need not be worked-for again, for which no further time need be expended.
For example, I still own a small wall-mount crank can opener. It was manufactured in 1931 and still works as well as the day it was manufactured, requires no power other than my already-fed arm and a few seconds to use. In other circumstances, I've used modern can openers that dull quickly, lose their ability to rotate around the can, and have to be bought again and again due to it's failings of design. I'm sure that you can think of a plethora of other such products.
Similarly, my family in Europe own houses that have been in the family for centuries. Bam! That never needs to be bought again, just maintained, and if done properly with wise improvements, even the monetary and time cost of THAT goes down ... so the intrinsic wealth goes up.
These are wealth. If in addition to enduring functionality they are also executed with timeless attractiveness, rather than ephemeral trendiness, their wealth value increases.(Who REALLY wants a Rococo ANYTHING. I mean, REALLY.)
Such things are actual wealth, and those who produce them are actually "making money".
The other two terms are far more self-explanatory.
How's that writing letters with a leaky fountain pen to post on the Internet working out for you. I've had the same Black and Decker electric can opener mounted on my kitchen cabinets for more than twenty years. It still works just fine. Probably better than your horse and buggy, especially since your horse died.

“Together for 24, legal for 5”

Since: Sep 07

Littleton, NH

#35 Nov 15, 2013
TomInElPaso wrote:
<quoted text>
How's that writing letters with a leaky fountain pen to post on the Internet working out for you. I've had the same Black and Decker electric can opener mounted on my kitchen cabinets for more than twenty years. It still works just fine. Probably better than your horse and buggy, especially since your horse died.
No need for fountain pens. There are plenty of bird feathers falling on my lawn. I'm never lacking for a new quill.

Since: Mar 09

Location hidden

#36 Nov 15, 2013
TomInElPaso wrote:
<quoted text>
How's that writing letters with a leaky fountain pen to post on the Internet working out for you. I've had the same Black and Decker electric can opener mounted on my kitchen cabinets for more than twenty years. It still works just fine. Probably better than your horse and buggy, especially since your horse died.
But my horse had 11 colts who grew up to pull the combine, till the fields that grew their feed, and a plethora of other things. I'm also walking in, and my pants are being held up by, part of their grandsire; and my wood shop tools (table saw, drill press, planer, sander, etc) are being driven by transmission belts made of other relatives. Also, over the years, the various superannuated member of the herd provided sausage components, and their manes and tails fine stringing to bows that sell for $500+ a piece. Hooves and hide scraps provided hide glue for many projects, and sizing for canvases. I've even made bone nuts, bridges and various inlay from femurs. Once made scrimshawed gift boxes for Christmas. Even the seat of this chair is upholstered in leather from the herd. Their waste goes into both the vermiculture (fertilizer and enriched soil) trays and the methane generators which, once compressed into salvaged gas pressure cylinders, provide the energy needs of the entire spread (cooking gas, gas refrigeration, electricity for the milk pasturizer-homogenizer, incubators, greenhouse air/water filters and pumps, and lots else besides)

Can your little Black and Decker electricity-sucker do all that, Crosspatch?

I still own a Craftsman wood lathe that is merely a scaled-down version of a large industrial unit, drop-forged bed, head and tail stocks and all, with outboard as well as just the 20" inboard turning capacity. The motor on this has been replaced with the older leather powerbelt system as well.

Our ancestors became wealthy and built this Nation in these ways: Durability, Quality and Frugality = Economy

Consider that I'm typing this on an 8-core Computer with 64G of RAM. I'm hardly a Luddite.

Well not completely, anyway.

If you think that old means primitive, look up Holtzapffel Lathe.

Here, to get you started:

http://holtzapffel.org/

Since: Mar 09

Location hidden

#37 Nov 15, 2013
RalphB wrote:
<quoted text>
I don't have a wall-mounted one from the 30's, but I do have a hand-operated one from the 50's, and it still works fine. I also have a Mix-Master electric mixer from 1973 I use a couple of times a week. Also my father's tool box with many hand tools from the 40's that I use often around the house. He built the tool box himself. Those were the decades of quality.
Finally! Someone old enough to actually know BETTER.

Since: Mar 09

Location hidden

#38 Nov 15, 2013
nhjeff wrote:
<quoted text>
And yet, the financial sector is responsible for 20% of corporate profits in the US. We truly have the tail wagging the dog....
That's as good an indicator as any of the observable percentage of their parasitism. Twenty cents on the dollar going down the drain.

Since: Mar 09

Location hidden

#39 Nov 15, 2013
nhjeff wrote:
<quoted text>
No need for fountain pens. There are plenty of bird feathers falling on my lawn. I'm never lacking for a new quill.
Some of this WAS done with hummingbird underdown quills:

http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_Gvg_G8ZZSR8/S-RIXri...

When making a copy for a commission, to duplicate it's finest lines with modern materials I had to modify a micro hypodermic needle. When it eventually became unclearably clogged, I had to dispose of it and modify another. Our ancestors just visited the nearest bird nest and picked up moltings.

“What Goes Around, Comes Around”

Since: Mar 07

Kansas City, MO.

#40 Nov 15, 2013
TomInElPaso wrote:
<quoted text>
Some couples, and it's pretty obvious this is one of those couples, don't mingle funds, have separate checking accounts and pay everything as though they had no relationship.
yup. This one gal where I work has the same thing. He and her are suppose to be a couple (not married) but they purchased a house together..WRONG thing to do. They can't afford to buy each other out and are stuck. It's more like room mates. He writes down the half she owes on everything! CRAZY! And the word around the lunch room----he is seeing another gal that works there! YIKES

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