Is gay marriage really about sex? | A...

Is gay marriage really about sex? | Andrew Brown

There are 64 comments on the The Guardian story from Jan 31, 2013, titled Is gay marriage really about sex? | Andrew Brown. In it, The Guardian reports that:

The Christian conservative response to the question of what should be done about the sexual instincts of gay people is intrinsically flawed 'Protestants can see sex is something good in itself, within faithful relationships.

Join the discussion below, or Read more at The Guardian.

“I Am No One Else”

Since: Apr 12

Seattle

#45 Feb 1, 2013
Normal Guy wrote:
<quoted text>
I(m sorry Kitten, but the concept of marriage far predates contract law. But more importantly, I think you totally miss my point, which is the same exact opinion you have. My point is that their is no sanctity to marriage as a whole. There is only individual sanctity. Therefore, no individual outside of my wife or me, can adversely effect the sanctity of our marriage. Furthermore, I have no desire to exert my religious belief on others. If you dont belief in God, that's perfectly fine with me. That is none of my, or any one else’s business. Likewise, I have no more right to tell you who you marry, than you do to tell me who I should marry. I firmly believe everyone has to right to fall in love, commit themselves to someone else, without outside judgement, whether it’s same sex or opposite sex. My point is I do not have to “prove” the existence of God to you or anyone else, because it is not a prerequisite for you to be married, only a prerequisite for me to be married.
Before the legal contract it was arranged marriages .. and polygamy. When you make laws that force people to live by your religious views, you are forcing them to follow your religious views.

Oh, and I don't think there should be anything about marriage in the laws ... anything at all. Including your tax exemptions and special privileges. I am asexual, marriage is nothing more than slavery to me. But if gay people want to live in that contract then I am not going to stand in their way, that's their choice. Their marriages have no effect on anyone else at all.
Normal Guy

New York, NY

#46 Feb 1, 2013
snyper wrote:
"Chance",
What percentage of heteros cheat on their spouses and conceal or lie about it?
a lot. Do gays in general have more sexual partners than straights? Yes, but it is fairly irrelevant, as quite frankly I think most straight single males would have as many partners as they could in their youth, but are constrained by the availibilty of like minded women. Gay men do not have that constraint. furthermore, I do not think the study cited before makes a lot of sense. you can not compare fidelity rates of "committed gays" to "married heteros". Compare then to "committed heteros" I am sure the infidelity rates of committed yet unmarried heteros is much higher than the married population, and I hazard to guess that gays that which to be married, will have a lower infidelity rate than those that dont wish to be married. That study lost me when it argued that only 7% of the population believed that adultery was acceptable, when we all know a huge % of the 93% that disapporve, have or were adulterers.

Since: Mar 09

Location hidden

#47 Feb 1, 2013
Normal Guy wrote:
<quoted text>
a lot. Do gays in general have more sexual partners than straights? Yes, but it is fairly irrelevant, as quite frankly I think most straight single males would have as many partners as they could in their youth, but are constrained by the availibilty of like minded women. Gay men do not have that constraint. furthermore, I do not think the study cited before makes a lot of sense. you can not compare fidelity rates of "committed gays" to "married heteros". Compare then to "committed heteros" I am sure the infidelity rates of committed yet unmarried heteros is much higher than the married population, and I hazard to guess that gays that which to be married, will have a lower infidelity rate than those that dont wish to be married. That study lost me when it argued that only 7% of the population believed that adultery was acceptable, when we all know a huge % of the 93% that disapporve, have or were adulterers.
Of course, but my opponent is asserting that the honest contract of gay couples to allow controlled interaction with outside partners is in someway more frequent and inferior to the actual infidelities of heteros to THEIR marital contracts.

I'M not personally in favor of such arrangements, but I can at least recognize the value of the honesty and consensual element in the relationships, something self-evidently lacking when heteros "cheat" on their partners.

“Smiles are contagious”

Since: Jan 13

Location hidden

#48 Feb 1, 2013
Just got home, and reading all the posts since this morning I see a sort of preoccupation of folks tying the sexual activities of gay couples to their opinion of yes/mo on permitting gay marriage. Do we as a society ask that as the first question in our minds when we hear of a hetro couples intent to marry? Seems unfair to me. There r varied levels of commitment in any marriage. So what would make a gay couple any different?
Robsan5

United States

#49 Feb 1, 2013
Chance wrote:
http://www.mercatornet.com/art icles/view/open_monogamy/
"The recently published Gay Couples Study conducted by Colleen Hoff at the Center for Research on Gender and Sexuality, San Francisco, looked at the relationships of 566 committed gay couples (males) over a three-year period. The study showed that 47 per cent of gay couples had “sex agreements” that specifically allowed sexual activity with others. An additional 8 per cent of couples were split: one person favored sex outside the relationship and the other expected monogamy. Only 45 per cent described their relationships as monogamous.
Proponents of “marriage equality” sing their refrain over and over:“Our relationships are just the same as yours.”
Not even close. While just 7 per cent of Americans believe that adultery (sexual infidelity by married, heterosexual partners) is morally acceptable, Dr Hoff’s report emphasizes that nearly 50 per cent of gays in committed relationships specifically affirm sexual infidelity. Other research shows shockingly higher rates (75-95 per cent) of non-monogamy in long-term gay relationships."
"The truth is that the gay experience, dressed in the language of heterosexual normalcy, bears little resemblance to traditional marriage relationships. For some researchers, that’s exactly the point. They believe that gay relationships herald a long-overdue deconstruction of the meaning of “marriage,” for gays and straights alike, away from the notion of sexual exclusivity and towards emotional bonding and “open” sexual coupling, or tripling, or whatever.
It's a redefinition of marriage” says Blake Spears, a researcher and partner in one such relationship, to mean “emotional commitment, the closeness.” As one gay man, Daemon from Phoenix, explains,“I am in an open relationship right now and it works fine… I personally do not associate sex with marriage; to me they are completely different acts. I would also love to get married from a legal perspective, regardless of who I have sex with.”
Useless comparison study. Why didn't the authors compare married gay couples with married heterosexual couples?
And when the results of studies range from 50% to 95%, then you have some very flawed studies being conducted.
We are still waiting for you to show what damage same-sex marriage will do to the 'institution' of marriage. Please feel free to use any examples from the many countries and states that recognize same-sex marriages that can be attributed to these marriages.
Increased divorce rates among straights?
Increased crime rates?
More children being abused?
Anything?

Robert

“Smiles are contagious”

Since: Jan 13

Location hidden

#50 Feb 1, 2013
Unfortunately, "studies" are usually so flawed that their information is virtually useless in this type of scenario. Comparing apples and oranges is only going to get you some pretty good tasting beverage, not true facts about the subject at hand. The couples that are truly co mmitted to each other, as in a hetro marriage, are the ones who will get the short end of the deal because of the flaws, or the efforts of the pollsters being skewed because of personal beliefs. As a society we are still too unwillingly to accept those who are not the "average" couple and until that average couple can feel comfortable there will be no true results.
Give Me Steam

Plainfield, MA

#51 Feb 1, 2013
Why don't we ask Jades friend hiv/aids if it's about sex? Condom or no condom the petri dish grows darker.
Robsan5

United States

#52 Feb 1, 2013
Give Me Steam wrote:
Why don't we ask Jades friend hiv/aids if it's about sex? Condom or no condom the petri dish grows darker.
The vast majority of people infected with AIDS/HIV are straight.
Hmmm...

Robert

“Smiles are contagious”

Since: Jan 13

Location hidden

#53 Feb 1, 2013
Give Me Steam wrote:
Why don't we ask Jades friend hiv/aids if it's about sex? Condom or no condom the petri dish grows darker.
If you are saying that promiscuity, irresponsibility and selfish sex are only markers of a homosexual, I disagree. Plenty of hetro men/women/couples engage in less than ethical, considerate sexual encounters. Its an imperfect world on so many levels that arguement doesnt hold up against permitting marriage of a committed gay couple. Personal responsibility is sex, gender, persuasion blind.
Give Me Steam

Plainfield, MA

#54 Feb 1, 2013
mmmmyes wrote:
<quoted text>If you are saying that promiscuity, irresponsibility and selfish sex are only markers of a homosexual, I disagree. Plenty of hetro men/women/couples engage in less than ethical, considerate sexual encounters. Its an imperfect world on so many levels that arguement doesnt hold up against permitting marriage of a committed gay couple. Personal responsibility is sex, gender, persuasion blind.
I never said it was an imperfect world but gays wish to keep it that way. Subversion and decadence.
Parenthood involves sex, gender, and persuasion blind.
Humans continue to refuse to listen to what nature has to say in the human form so she reacts accordingly.
Fate.
Thank you,
Thank you very much.

“Equality marches on! ”

Since: Apr 08

Location hidden

#55 Feb 1, 2013
Give Me Steam wrote:
Why don't we ask Jades friend hiv/aids if it's about sex? Condom or no condom the petri dish grows darker.
What an asinine post. But then again what can be expected from a supposed married straight man who spends more time on the gay threads, obsessing over things that should be none of his concern, than any of us usual gay posters. HIV affects all people, not just gays. Come out from under your rock and educate yourself you pathetic stalker. Keep posting because you validate my observations about you every time!
Chance

Grove City, PA

#57 Feb 1, 2013
snyper wrote:
"Chance",
What percentage of heteros cheat on their spouses and conceal or lie about it?
I've never heard of heteros who write it into their marriage vows that they are going to screw around with others. Yes, people screw up sometimes and fail to live up to even their own expectations. That is why it is called "cheating." "Gay marriage" is often times about making a so-called commitment that leaves monogamy out of the contract. And by their own admission, they think they are going to change the institution of marriage for everybody by doing so.
Chance

Grove City, PA

#58 Feb 1, 2013
Robsan5 wrote:
<quoted text>
Useless comparison study. Why didn't the authors compare married gay couples with married heterosexual couples?
And when the results of studies range from 50% to 95%, then you have some very flawed studies being conducted.
We are still waiting for you to show what damage same-sex marriage will do to the 'institution' of marriage. Please feel free to use any examples from the many countries and states that recognize same-sex marriages that can be attributed to these marriages.
Increased divorce rates among straights?
Increased crime rates?
More children being abused?
Anything?
Robert
You know that will never work. Gays never do these kinds of studies, and any studies being done by anyone else are tossed out as flawed by gays. It means that no decisions are being made on the basis of honest dialogue and a thorough examination of any and all data. It has become just an emotional decision, not a rational one for that reason.
Robsan5

San Leandro, CA

#59 Feb 1, 2013
Chance wrote:
<quoted text>
I've never heard of heteros who write it into their marriage vows that they are going to screw around with others. Yes, people screw up sometimes and fail to live up to even their own expectations. That is why it is called "cheating." "Gay marriage" is often times about making a so-called commitment that leaves monogamy out of the contract. And by their own admission, they think they are going to change the institution of marriage for everybody by doing so.
Please tell us all about the many same-sex marriage vows you've witnessed that had infidelity expressly mentioned.
But surely you've heard of 'open marriages'?
Come on, chance, list all the negative consequences that have resulted from same-sex marriage in all the many countries and states where it is legal.
I dare you.

Robert

“Equality marches on! ”

Since: Apr 08

Location hidden

#60 Feb 1, 2013
Chance wrote:
<quoted text>
I've never heard of heteros who write it into their marriage vows that they are going to screw around with others. Yes, people screw up sometimes and fail to live up to even their own expectations. That is why it is called "cheating." "Gay marriage" is often times about making a so-called commitment that leaves monogamy out of the contract. And by their own admission, they think they are going to change the institution of marriage for everybody by doing so.
So, you are posting from experience? Of course not. Most unregistered trolls are so obsessed with posting about the "doom" of gay marriage, it's understandable why they spend time here.
Robsan5

San Leandro, CA

#62 Feb 1, 2013
Chance wrote:
<quoted text>
You know that will never work. Gays never do these kinds of studies, and any studies being done by anyone else are tossed out as flawed by gays. It means that no decisions are being made on the basis of honest dialogue and a thorough examination of any and all data. It has become just an emotional decision, not a rational one for that reason.
Come on chance, surely there has to be ONE study that verifies your gloom and doom scenario. Or are you just talking out your gay anal sex obsessed ass?

Robert

Since: Mar 09

Location hidden

#63 Feb 1, 2013
Chance wrote:
<quoted text>
I've never heard of heteros who write it into their marriage vows that they are going to screw around with others. Yes, people screw up sometimes and fail to live up to even their own expectations. That is why it is called "cheating." "Gay marriage" is often times about making a so-called commitment that leaves monogamy out of the contract. And by their own admission, they think they are going to change the institution of marriage for everybody by doing so.
Well they aren't written in the vows but are part of their private contract. Lots of hetero couples. It's almost common out in the burbs. Many of the others do it to, but they just lie and divorce and lie and divorce and lie and divorce about it.

Now you can go feel all morally superior, or jealous, or ... whatever.
Super Gerbal

Plainfield, MA

#65 Feb 2, 2013
It's not the gay marriage yade. It's the enabling of child stealing that is homosexuality. The burn to be around young flesh is uncontrollable. Look into the church and some scoutmasters. They gave into their homosexual 'tendencies' for young boi's. You just want in on the action. The govt too. Decadent bass turds.
Little Bois

Plainfield, MA

#66 Feb 2, 2013
This is literally a sex scandal under our nose and right before our very eyes.

“I Am No One Else”

Since: Apr 12

Seattle

#67 Feb 2, 2013
Super Gerbal wrote:
It's not the gay marriage yade. It's the enabling of child stealing that is homosexuality. The burn to be around young flesh is uncontrollable. Look into the church and some scoutmasters. They gave into their homosexual 'tendencies' for young boi's. You just want in on the action. The govt too. Decadent bass turds.
Alex Jones is not a good idol.

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