Is gay marriage really about sex? | Andrew Brown

Jan 31, 2013 | Posted by: roboblogger | Full story: The Guardian

The Christian conservative response to the question of what should be done about the sexual instincts of gay people is intrinsically flawed 'Protestants can see sex is something good in itself, within faithful relationships.

Comments (Page 2)

Showing posts 21 - 40 of64
|
Go to last page| Jump to page:
Normal Guy

New York, NY

|
Report Abuse
|
Judge it!
|
#22
Feb 1, 2013
 
Str8 wrote:
<quoted text>I'm a str8 married male but I love to send gay men full frontal nudes. If I pm you would you like to see ?
HAHA.
Anyone else see the irony of one straight poster admonishing gay people for promiscuity, and then the next offering tosend full frontal pics of himself to gay people?
Cant make this stuff up. Also find it interesting that so many self righteous monogamous heterosexuals are trolling a sexuality board.

“Equality marches on! ”

Since: Apr 08

Location hidden

|
Report Abuse
|
Judge it!
|
#23
Feb 1, 2013
 
Normal Guy wrote:
<quoted text>
Interesting point Jade.(Frankly I didnt even notice your avatar until he went off on his rant). It is so rare to have an honest and frank discussion on these boards. Was wondering if you could give me your perspective. Frankly, have never really discussed sexual issues with someone gay, probably more from my own shyness than anything else. Cant fathom why some are disgusted by seeing something as innocuous as 2 men holding hands, but have no problem watching 2 straight speedo clad swimmers hug each other after winning the Olympics. To take it a step further, have no qualms about having anal sex with a woman (personally have no experience with this unfortunately), but are repulsed at the thought of some other guy that does the same thing, just with an anus that happens to belong to a guy. Do you really think this homophobia has something to do with a fear they have of having a gay thought now or then?
BINGO! I have more straight friends than gays, and none of the straight guys I know have such an overly theatrical repulsion or fixation about two guys. I wonder if when these trolls attend a wedding of a male/female, do they sit there and visualize the couple having sex on their honeymoon night? Yet, two guys will just get these Topix trolls posting every imaginable sex act that could possibly be done, and in graphic detail. And the anger that is displayed is total text book!

“Unconvinced”

Since: Nov 09

Seattle, WA

|
Report Abuse
|
Judge it!
|
#24
Feb 1, 2013
 
John wrote:
Then you don't understand what marriage is nor do you understand the role that sex plays in making a marriage in the first place. Where gay men, particularly, misunderstand marriage is in the vows of fidelity and monogamy.
Be sure that you aren't placing yourself in the role of "the authority of vows" for everyone else. The vows which a couple chooses to make to one another are between them, and no one else. Whether those vows are kept or not is ALSO between them.

The day that heterosexual couples become the perfect paragon of making and keeping vows, then you can speak from authority. But MANY marriage are imperfect in this area. You cannot single out gay men as misunderstanding marriage, while straight couples are no better. A 50% divorce rate is no position from which to criticize others.
Str8

United States

|
Report Abuse
|
Judge it!
|
#25
Feb 1, 2013
 
NE Jade wrote:
<quoted text>Looking at your flaccid, stub of a penis, surrounded by all your excessive blubber would make me vomit, R1. Maybe LoIQ, or World's Bigot Dipstick could appreciate your frontal deformity.
Ahhh no, that would be YOU looking at yourself in the mirror. I offer something nice & I get that kind of response ? F U
WestCoaster

Los Angeles, CA

|
Report Abuse
|
Judge it!
|
#26
Feb 1, 2013
 
It's not cheating if it's agreed to by both parties. Because gay relationships are not well defined (or even admtted to) by the straight world, we get to define them ourselves. I know many gay couples who have open relationships to one degree or another. And they have been together for longer than many of the straight couples that I know. You can love someone without having sex with them just as easily as you can have sex with someone you don't love. One is emotionally grounded, the other is simple biology.
JrEsq

El Segundo, CA

|
Report Abuse
|
Judge it!
|
#27
Feb 1, 2013
 

Judged:

1

1

1

WestCoaster wrote:
It's not cheating if it's agreed to by both parties. Because gay relationships are not well defined (or even admtted to) by the straight world, we get to define them ourselves. I know many gay couples who have open relationships to one degree or another. And they have been together for longer than many of the straight couples that I know. You can love someone without having sex with them just as easily as you can have sex with someone you don't love. One is emotionally grounded, the other is simple biology.
"Because gay relationships are not well defined.."
Finally an honest homosexual. You just explained why gay marriage would have a negative impact on marriage.

“Equality marches on! ”

Since: Apr 08

Location hidden

|
Report Abuse
|
Judge it!
|
#28
Feb 1, 2013
 
JrEsq wrote:
<quoted text>
"Because gay relationships are not well defined.."
Finally an honest homosexual. You just explained why gay marriage would have a negative impact on marriage.
Marriage could certainly help to define it. There would be nothing negative to impact an already failing institution!
Normal Guy

New York, NY

|
Report Abuse
|
Judge it!
|
#29
Feb 1, 2013
 

Judged:

1

1

1

JrEsq wrote:
<quoted text>
"Because gay relationships are not well defined.."
Finally an honest homosexual. You just explained why gay marriage would have a negative impact on marriage.
Please explain how infidelity by a gay couple has a more negative impact on your marriage than say, Dan Marino fathering a child outside his marriage? As a matter of fact, explain to me how any faltering marriage has an impact on the sanctity of yours.
Join Free
JrEsq

El Segundo, CA

|
Report Abuse
|
Judge it!
|
#33
Feb 1, 2013
 

Judged:

1

1

1

NE Jade wrote:
<quoted text>Marriage could certainly help to define it. There would be nothing negative to impact an already failing institution!
Wow, you gays seem pretty eager to jump on a sinking ship. Or are you being driven by an external force eager to hasten it's sinking?
JrEsq

El Segundo, CA

|
Report Abuse
|
Judge it!
|
#34
Feb 1, 2013
 

Judged:

1

1

1

Normal Guy wrote:
<quoted text>
Please explain how infidelity by a gay couple has a more negative impact on your marriage than say, Dan Marino fathering a child outside his marriage? As a matter of fact, explain to me how any faltering marriage has an impact on the sanctity of yours.
I wasn't talking specifically about mine nor Dan Marino's marriage. I was speaking about marriage as an entity. Take your blinders off, they are giving you tunnel vision.

“I Am No One Else”

Since: Apr 12

Seattle

|
Report Abuse
|
Judge it!
|
#35
Feb 1, 2013
 
JrEsq wrote:
<quoted text>
I wasn't talking specifically about mine nor Dan Marino's marriage. I was speaking about marriage as an entity. Take your blinders off, they are giving you tunnel vision.
You mean the marriages that end in divorce, typically due to infidelity ... which are ALL heterosexual marriages, every single one. In the US, that's 53% of marriages.
Normal Guy

New York, NY

|
Report Abuse
|
Judge it!
|
#36
Feb 1, 2013
 
JrEsq wrote:
<quoted text>
I wasn't talking specifically about mine nor Dan Marino's marriage. I was speaking about marriage as an entity. Take your blinders off, they are giving you tunnel vision.
I'm not trying to be argumentative, merely understand your point. You had used the previous posters statement as an example as to why gay marriage demeans marriage. But now you seem to be saying that if someone else breaks their "vows" it is not a reflection upon marriage as an entity. If thats the case, then how does gay marriage effect the sanctity of marriage, but hetero transgressions do not? Just trying to find out where this opinion comes from. My point of view, which I certainly am open to debate on, is that the sanctity of my marriage is determined by God, not by what others do. The only way my marriage is less holy, is if I do something wrong, not anyone else: straight or gay.

“Equality marches on! ”

Since: Apr 08

Location hidden

|
Report Abuse
|
Judge it!
|
#37
Feb 1, 2013
 

Judged:

1

1

JrEsq wrote:
<quoted text>
Wow, you gays seem pretty eager to jump on a sinking ship. Or are you being driven by an external force eager to hasten it's sinking?
No external force encouraging me to jump on a sinking ship. What I do want for me and my significant other are all the spousal benefits/protections that are offered though marriage. I pay taxes just like anyone else. I still haven't seem any posted evidence that my marriage should have any affect on another couple's marriage.
Normal Guy

New York, NY

|
Report Abuse
|
Judge it!
|
#38
Feb 1, 2013
 
KittenKoder wrote:
<quoted text>
You mean the marriages that end in divorce, typically due to infidelity ... which are ALL heterosexual marriages, every single one. In the US, that's 53% of marriages.
Kitten, be a little less harsh. Do a majority of marriages end due to cheating? Probably yes, but certainly not all. Finances, unemployment, drug and alcohol issues are significant reasons a s well. And the 53% number needs to be put in context. almost 60% of all marriages remain intact without divorce, if you factor out those with multiple divorces. In other words, pick 10 married couples. 7 stay married their entire lives. of the other 3, 1 remarries once one remarries twice an one remarries 3 times. in all, you have 15 marriages, 7 ended in divorce.

“I Am No One Else”

Since: Apr 12

Seattle

|
Report Abuse
|
Judge it!
|
#39
Feb 1, 2013
 

Judged:

1

1

1

Normal Guy wrote:
<quoted text>
I'm not trying to be argumentative, merely understand your point. You had used the previous posters statement as an example as to why gay marriage demeans marriage. But now you seem to be saying that if someone else breaks their "vows" it is not a reflection upon marriage as an entity. If thats the case, then how does gay marriage effect the sanctity of marriage, but hetero transgressions do not? Just trying to find out where this opinion comes from. My point of view, which I certainly am open to debate on, is that the sanctity of my marriage is determined by God, not by what others do. The only way my marriage is less holy, is if I do something wrong, not anyone else: straight or gay.
Marriage is a legal contract, nothing "holy" about it, and unless you can present evidence that there even is a god, your opinion on that matter is meaningless.
Chance

Grove City, PA

|
Report Abuse
|
Judge it!
|
#40
Feb 1, 2013
 
http://www.mercatornet.com/articles/view/open...
"The recently published Gay Couples Study conducted by Colleen Hoff at the Center for Research on Gender and Sexuality, San Francisco, looked at the relationships of 566 committed gay couples (males) over a three-year period. The study showed that 47 per cent of gay couples had “sex agreements” that specifically allowed sexual activity with others. An additional 8 per cent of couples were split: one person favored sex outside the relationship and the other expected monogamy. Only 45 per cent described their relationships as monogamous.

Proponents of “marriage equality” sing their refrain over and over:“Our relationships are just the same as yours.”

Not even close. While just 7 per cent of Americans believe that adultery (sexual infidelity by married, heterosexual partners) is morally acceptable, Dr Hoff’s report emphasizes that nearly 50 per cent of gays in committed relationships specifically affirm sexual infidelity. Other research shows shockingly higher rates (75-95 per cent) of non-monogamy in long-term gay relationships."

"The truth is that the gay experience, dressed in the language of heterosexual normalcy, bears little resemblance to traditional marriage relationships. For some researchers, that’s exactly the point. They believe that gay relationships herald a long-overdue deconstruction of the meaning of “marriage,” for gays and straights alike, away from the notion of sexual exclusivity and towards emotional bonding and “open” sexual coupling, or tripling, or whatever.

It's a redefinition of marriage” says Blake Spears, a researcher and partner in one such relationship, to mean “emotional commitment, the closeness.” As one gay man, Daemon from Phoenix, explains,“I am in an open relationship right now and it works fine… I personally do not associate sex with marriage; to me they are completely different acts. I would also love to get married from a legal perspective, regardless of who I have sex with.”

“I Am No One Else”

Since: Apr 12

Seattle

|
Report Abuse
|
Judge it!
|
#41
Feb 1, 2013
 
Normal Guy wrote:
<quoted text>
Kitten, be a little less harsh. Do a majority of marriages end due to cheating? Probably yes, but certainly not all. Finances, unemployment, drug and alcohol issues are significant reasons a s well. And the 53% number needs to be put in context. almost 60% of all marriages remain intact without divorce, if you factor out those with multiple divorces. In other words, pick 10 married couples. 7 stay married their entire lives. of the other 3, 1 remarries once one remarries twice an one remarries 3 times. in all, you have 15 marriages, 7 ended in divorce.
They were still ALL heterosexual marriages, that was the point. If 53% end in divorce, only 48% can remain intact. You need to learn basic math. 60 + 53 = 113, which is not a percentile.

“I Am No One Else”

Since: Apr 12

Seattle

|
Report Abuse
|
Judge it!
|
#42
Feb 1, 2013
 
Chance wrote:
http://www.mercatornet.com/art icles/view/open_monogamy/
"The recently published Gay Couples Study conducted by Colleen Hoff at the Center for Research on Gender and Sexuality, San Francisco, looked at the relationships of 566 committed gay couples (males) over a three-year period. The study showed that 47 per cent of gay couples had “sex agreements” that specifically allowed sexual activity with others. An additional 8 per cent of couples were split: one person favored sex outside the relationship and the other expected monogamy. Only 45 per cent described their relationships as monogamous.
Proponents of “marriage equality” sing their refrain over and over:“Our relationships are just the same as yours.”
Not even close. While just 7 per cent of Americans believe that adultery (sexual infidelity by married, heterosexual partners) is morally acceptable, Dr Hoff’s report emphasizes that nearly 50 per cent of gays in committed relationships specifically affirm sexual infidelity. Other research shows shockingly higher rates (75-95 per cent) of non-monogamy in long-term gay relationships."
"The truth is that the gay experience, dressed in the language of heterosexual normalcy, bears little resemblance to traditional marriage relationships. For some researchers, that’s exactly the point. They believe that gay relationships herald a long-overdue deconstruction of the meaning of “marriage,” for gays and straights alike, away from the notion of sexual exclusivity and towards emotional bonding and “open” sexual coupling, or tripling, or whatever.
It's a redefinition of marriage” says Blake Spears, a researcher and partner in one such relationship, to mean “emotional commitment, the closeness.” As one gay man, Daemon from Phoenix, explains,“I am in an open relationship right now and it works fine… I personally do not associate sex with marriage; to me they are completely different acts. I would also love to get married from a legal perspective, regardless of who I have sex with.”
Still no evidence that there is harm done by allowing them to get the legal marriage contract.
Normal Guy

New York, NY

|
Report Abuse
|
Judge it!
|
#43
Feb 1, 2013
 
KittenKoder wrote:
<quoted text>
Marriage is a legal contract, nothing "holy" about it, and unless you can present evidence that there even is a god, your opinion on that matter is meaningless.
I(m sorry Kitten, but the concept of marriage far predates contract law. But more importantly, I think you totally miss my point, which is the same exact opinion you have. My point is that their is no sanctity to marriage as a whole. There is only individual sanctity. Therefore, no individual outside of my wife or me, can adversely effect the sanctity of our marriage. Furthermore, I have no desire to exert my religious belief on others. If you dont belief in God, that's perfectly fine with me. That is none of my, or any one else’s business. Likewise, I have no more right to tell you who you marry, than you do to tell me who I should marry. I firmly believe everyone has to right to fall in love, commit themselves to someone else, without outside judgement, whether it’s same sex or opposite sex. My point is I do not have to “prove” the existence of God to you or anyone else, because it is not a prerequisite for you to be married, only a prerequisite for me to be married.

Since: Mar 09

Location hidden

|
Report Abuse
|
Judge it!
|
#44
Feb 1, 2013
 
"Chance",

What percentage of heteros cheat on their spouses and conceal or lie about it?

Tell me when this thread is updated: (Registration is not required)

Add to my Tracker Send me an email

Showing posts 21 - 40 of64
|
Go to last page| Jump to page:
Type in your comments below
Name
(appears on your post)
Comments
Characters left: 4000
Type the numbers you see in the image on the right:

Please note by clicking on "Post Comment" you acknowledge that you have read the Terms of Service and the comment you are posting is in compliance with such terms. Be polite. Inappropriate posts may be removed by the moderator. Send us your feedback.

51 Users are viewing the Gay/Lesbian Forum right now

Search the Gay/Lesbian Forum:
Topic Updated Last By Comments
Gay marriage (Mar '13) 11 min Old BornGay 50,664
Scranton Venue Says No to Same-Sex Weddings 14 min lgbt is silly 6
Is Vladimir Putin Another Adolf Hitler? 26 min Oliver Cromwell 6
The gay cafe for GLBT, friends and family (Oct '09) 28 min Dave 67,601
Rob Ford stays seated during standing ovation f... 29 min Dave 6
Outrage as Australian judge says incest, pedoph... 29 min KKKafeteria Christianists 42
Court favors disclosing anti-gay marriage donors 34 min KiMare 1,563
Losing Streak Lengthens for Foes of Gay Marriage 1 hr Frankie Rizzo 1,843
Tony Perkins Warns Support of Gay Rights by 'Li... 2 hr Frankie Rizzo 38
•••
•••
Enter and win $5000
•••
•••