3 years ago,afterr got very broken hearted,i played around with my fake fb to find a girl who likes girl..coz i wanted to know how does it feel to b in relationship with a gurl.then i met this 1 girl who hv the same purpose with her fake id too.then after lot of chit chat,we got very close in our real life.no more fake things.we finally in relationship.but we had a deal,if one of us found a bf,then things back to normal,n we stay as friends.i never felt so alive before like i felt wit her,so complete.we fell inlove so much until we even thought we want to b together forever.she even tried to be in "relationship" wit a guy to cover ours.n he doesnt know it until know..after almost a year,but she broke up with me wit religion reason.we got very broken.but we still meet n be together like usual,just no commitent or status.even it hurts me a lot see her with him,i tried hard to hang on to her,be around her.situation changed,,made me in the third person position.seems like shes cheated on him with me.n things keep being like that for 2 years..we still love each other until now.but she keep trying hard to "return to the right way"
Then somehow i move to usa,shes still in indonesia.still hoping that she will come here for me.what i wanted to ask u guys,since i move here,i hv lesbian friend at work.n i likethat.n lately i keep imagine im with my lesbian friend.imagine that girl like i was with my ex gf.n day by day my head keep asking me am i gay?i keep imagine that i hv a gf,live with my gf..sometimes i imagine it with different girl,not with my ex.keep imagine that i told my family im gay.i become kinda obsessed wth gay things,,such as watch lesbian movie,try to join lesbian date site.
I also keep askin my self,i am like this is it coz i missed my ex gf,i am just to obsessed with my hope that one dat i can b with my ex gf n hv a happy ending?,or am i really gay..
Ps,my cousin told me that whn i was in elementary school,i told her that i like my girl friend.. I remembered i had some gurl crush whn i was a kid..
So wht do u think guys?i need ur opinion,,it would be very helpful..am i gay?this question started to drive me crazy..