Josh C

Duluth, GA

#831 Jan 17, 2013
Arm wrote:
josh you are most likey bi .I have a friend that felt he same way as you sort of in the middle .hang in there you are not alone
Okay then. I will just continue to think about this. I really just want to not be confused anymore.
poppin in for a wee bit

Watsonville, CA

#832 Jan 17, 2013
Yep wrote:
<quoted text>
That's how you became a Fa$$ot, your old daddy taught you everything you know. Still enjoying doing each other to this day.
Liar.

Calumny.
poppin in for a wee bit

Watsonville, CA

#833 Jan 17, 2013
Josh C wrote:
Ummmm..... I just dont know right now. I have always had a very open feminine side to my personality, but at the same time a manly one too. I love to cook & clean, but I love video games and Parkour too. I was over at my friend jammies house and she asked me if i was gay. I said no becaus ei had considered myself staright up till that point. she said "ohh you just set off my gaydar" and that was it for her, but not for me. I am so confused right now becasue i just kept thinking about it. Mabye im Bi or gay or pan i am just so friggen confuzzeled. any help would be greatly appericated.
How old are you again, "josh" ?

Regardless, here's my "help" ...

What makes you feel that you need to DECIDE ... RIGHT NOW!

Remember to breathe, once in a while. ok? lol
Josh C

Raleigh, NC

#835 Jan 17, 2013
poppin in for a wee bit wrote:
<quoted text>
How old are you again, "josh" ?
Regardless, here's my "help" ...
What makes you feel that you need to DECIDE ... RIGHT NOW!
Remember to breathe, once in a while. ok? lol
Okay, also I am 15.
ladyL

United States

#837 Jan 17, 2013
At my first job I had a crush on my supervisor. Damn she was sexy. She had a nice bottom and big boobies. I wanted to suck em every time I saw her. I love women!
Josh C

Wake Forest, NC

#838 Jan 17, 2013
yep wrote:
<quoted text>
Get immediate before it's too late. You darn sure don't want to be a queer all the rest of your life.
What the f*** is that supposed to mean?
Popping in for a tad

Watsonville, CA

#839 Jan 18, 2013
Josh C wrote:
<quoted text>
What the f*** is that supposed to mean?
Don't listen to that sort.

While you're still growing and the hormones are spinning your feelings all over the place, DON'T decide. Instead, focus on the stuff that will make your life better in a decade, when you'll hardly ever see anybody that you know now and be standing on your own two feet (I hope).

Check out pflag.org

Here's a rule of thumb that can be helpful: "HALT" !

H ungry
A ngry
L onely
T ired

All bad times to make important choices or have important conversations.

Can you think of any others?
Josh C

Wake Forest, NC

#840 Jan 18, 2013
Popping in for a tad wrote:
<quoted text>

All bad times to make important choices or have important conversations.
Can you think of any others?
So what do these last two lines mean, and thank you for actually being courtiuos unlike some people.
Poppin in for a tad

Watsonville, CA

#842 Jan 20, 2013
Josh C wrote:
<quoted text>
So what do these last two lines mean, and thank you for actually being courtiuos unlike some people.
"HALT is a mnemonic acronym for those times when it's not good to try to make important decisions.
Thanks for the compliment. I try to make sure that courtesy/courteous is my default setting.

“Petite twink, barely legal”

Since: Dec 12

Location hidden

#843 Jan 20, 2013
You don't want to be in any hurry to pin yourself with a label (gay, straight, bi, transgendered, etc).

Sexuality is a continuum and we all fall somewhere along the line between totally hetero and totally straight. While most people fall closer to one end or the other, there's all sorts of in-between.

I've always known I was "girly" and more attracted to boys than girls. Not just sexually, but socially, emotionally, spiritually. I wrestled for a time with wondering if I was actually a girl born into a male body, but I've learned, over the last year or so, that there is a big difference between FEMININITY and FEMALENESS.

I identify as a feminine boy (and gay), but not as a female.

It took a long time and alot of honest soul searching to reach the point where I'm comfortable with a name (a label, if you wish) to describe my sexual orientation and personality.

Don't hurry to label yourself before you've had a chance to settle things in your own heart and mind.
Josh C

Wake Forest, NC

#844 Jan 20, 2013
Tiny Timmie wrote:
You don't want to be in any hurry to pin yourself with a label (gay, straight, bi, transgendered, etc).
Sexuality is a continuum and we all fall somewhere along the line between totally hetero and totally straight. While most people fall closer to one end or the other, there's all sorts of in-between.
I've always known I was "girly" and more attracted to boys than girls. Not just sexually, but socially, emotionally, spiritually. I wrestled for a time with wondering if I was actually a girl born into a male body, but I've learned, over the last year or so, that there is a big difference between FEMININITY and FEMALENESS.
I identify as a feminine boy (and gay), but not as a female.
It took a long time and alot of honest soul searching to reach the point where I'm comfortable with a name (a label, if you wish) to describe my sexual orientation and personality.
Don't hurry to label yourself before you've had a chance to settle things in your own heart and mind.
So how exactly does one "Soul Search". No one wants to give me a straight answer. Also Thank you to everyone who has posted to help me. It really shows me that people can be kind and understandiing. You people have given me a glimmer of a hope and I thank you. I'm still really confused, but your advice has definetly made an impact. Again Thank You.
Droppin in for a tad

Watsonville, CA

#845 Jan 20, 2013
Josh C wrote:
<quoted text>
So how exactly does one "Soul Search". No one wants to give me a straight answer. Also Thank you to everyone who has posted to help me. It really shows me that people can be kind and understandiing. You people have given me a glimmer of a hope and I thank you. I'm still really confused, but your advice has definetly made an impact. Again Thank You.
Youngling, "confusion" is almost synonymous with adolescence ... all the way to about age 25 when you ACTUALLY stop growing and your hormones settle down.

"Soul Search"ing is a fuzzy colloquialism. It's best meaning is to keep one eye on your inner economy, rather than just reacting to, and being driven by, it's transformations and impulses. Over time, you get to know a few things about yourself and how you work ... including how you can unthinkingly work against yourself.

Emotions are GREAT informants, once their sorted out and correctly identified and nuanced, but they are LOUSY masters. So it's best to learn to read what they tell you, but not let them drive you. That's just reacting. Read what they have to tell, then THINK and learn and think some more. Then, when you've come up with a considered response to whatever, then act.

It's what is meant by "reasonable" and "responsible". Reason (from many sources) is applied before a response is given.

The alternative is irresponsible, unreasonable, and reactionary.

One of the greatest tools acquired from the process is the capacity to easily distinguish "rational" from "rationalize".

That's enough old fart lecturing for one night. It's getting pretty early where I am.

Hang in there, kid. You're gonna make it.
Josh C

Wake Forest, NC

#846 Jan 21, 2013
Droppin in for a tad wrote:
<quoted text>
Youngling, "confusion" is almost synonymous with adolescence ... all the way to about age 25 when you ACTUALLY stop growing and your hormones settle down.
"Soul Search"ing is a fuzzy colloquialism. It's best meaning is to keep one eye on your inner economy, rather than just reacting to, and being driven by, it's transformations and impulses. Over time, you get to know a few things about yourself and how you work ... including how you can unthinkingly work against yourself.
Emotions are GREAT informants, once their sorted out and correctly identified and nuanced, but they are LOUSY masters. So it's best to learn to read what they tell you, but not let them drive you. That's just reacting. Read what they have to tell, then THINK and learn and think some more. Then, when you've come up with a considered response to whatever, then act.
It's what is meant by "reasonable" and "responsible". Reason (from many sources) is applied before a response is given.
The alternative is irresponsible, unreasonable, and reactionary.
One of the greatest tools acquired from the process is the capacity to easily distinguish "rational" from "rationalize".
That's enough old fart lecturing for one night. It's getting pretty early where I am.
Hang in there, kid. You're gonna make it.
That was one of the best pieces of advice for any situation I have evr heard. You my friend are a hero in my eyes. So is anyone else who helped, but you in paticular.

Since: Jan 13

Reno, NV

#847 Jan 22, 2013
For me it was denial. I still TRY to deny. But try to fight my urges to no avail

Since: Mar 09

Location hidden

#849 Jan 22, 2013
MrNeverShutup wrote:
For me it was denial. I still TRY to deny. But try to fight my urges to no avail
Then shift the battlefield.

Since: Mar 09

Location hidden

#850 Jan 22, 2013
Josh C wrote:
<quoted text>
That was one of the best pieces of advice for any situation I have evr heard. You my friend are a hero in my eyes. So is anyone else who helped, but you in paticular.
It's very nice of you to say that, but all I am is old. Very old.

You're the hero, youngling. You started out that way. Out of over 20 million little swimmers, YOU are the one that didn't get sidetracked, swim in circles or the wrong way or give up. You're the one who teamed up with a couple of others to swim almost a million times your own length to weaken the walls of the egg. You're the one who broke through, swam against the inner current and penetrated the nucleus.

You started out a 1 in 20,000,000 winner. You still are.

You've made it this far. You haven't gotten caught in going-nowhere little cliques. You aren't stuck wandering in pointless circles. You haven't given up and stopped moving. You haven't imploded.

Keep asking. Keep learning. Keep THINKING !!!

Don't get caught in the backwater, endlessly circling in conspiracy thinking. Never miss an opportunity to make a positive impression on each person you meet. Learn something new every day. Try to add a new skill of some kind every week.

Learn History, so you don't mindlessly repeat it.

Most important, if you are interested in something, anything, search for the masters of it.

For example, do you dream of a life partner? Look for those who've been in such partnerships the longest. It doesn't matter if they are gay or hetero. They have the wisdom of successful partnership.

In the meantime, take a moment and remember ...

&fe ature=fvst

Since: Mar 09

Location hidden

#851 Jan 22, 2013

Since: Oct 12

Coolidge, AZ

#852 Jan 22, 2013
In kindergarten when Kenny Crowe walked up to me, grabbed me, kissed me, and said "Hi sailor, new in town ? "

:)
Josh C

Wake Forest, NC

#853 Jan 22, 2013
snyper wrote:
<quoted text>
It's very nice of you to say that, but all I am is old. Very old.
You're the hero, youngling. You started out that way. Out of over 20 million little swimmers, YOU are the one that didn't get sidetracked, swim in circles or the wrong way or give up. You're the one who teamed up with a couple of others to swim almost a million times your own length to weaken the walls of the egg. You're the one who broke through, swam against the inner current and penetrated the nucleus.
You started out a 1 in 20,000,000 winner. You still are.
You've made it this far. You haven't gotten caught in going-nowhere little cliques. You aren't stuck wandering in pointless circles. You haven't given up and stopped moving. You haven't imploded.
Keep asking. Keep learning. Keep THINKING !!!
Don't get caught in the backwater, endlessly circling in conspiracy thinking. Never miss an opportunity to make a positive impression on each person you meet. Learn something new every day. Try to add a new skill of some kind every week.
Learn History, so you don't mindlessly repeat it.
Most important, if you are interested in something, anything, search for the masters of it.
For example, do you dream of a life partner? Look for those who've been in such partnerships the longest. It doesn't matter if they are gay or hetero. They have the wisdom of successful partnership.
In the meantime, take a moment and remember ...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v =kUaDsYelNa4XX&feature=fvs t
........ I can't even begin to respect this wisdom enough. That was just as good as the last. It gives me even more hope then I could ever want. Thank you.

Since: Mar 09

Location hidden

#854 Jan 22, 2013
Josh C wrote:
<quoted text>
........ I can't even begin to respect this wisdom enough. That was just as good as the last. It gives me even more hope then I could ever want. Thank you.
YOU are OUR hope, little one.

YOU are why we have been fighting these fights ... so YOU don't have to go through what we did.

YOU show us that it's working. YOU aren't skulking in self-hatred; just a little self-doubt, and THAT isn't necessarily a bad thing. It keeps you open to learning.

You are our hope. You.

Whether in time you discover that you are gay, hetero, bi, trans ...

... it's ALL for you.

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