When did you realize you were gay?

Daniel P from Long Island

“Protestant, Gay, Libertarian”

Since: Apr 08

Long Island, NY

#325 Apr 6, 2009
i LOVE fem guys !

:)
Jadzeli

Frankfurt Am Main, Germany

#326 Apr 7, 2009
I know I'm a bit late as this thread is from 2007, but I deeply wish to thank everyone here making such tremendously understandable comments. Especially "Inquisitarian" helped me a lot. Thank you.
I'm not gay, infact I'm a female - or gay is for both sexes in English isn't it? Well then I'm straight (even though I think this is a stupid term) I stumbled into this forum while searching for gay men's experiences, because I am a writer (well I hope so at least) and I needed some information about the coming out or even more the first realising.
A TV series called Torchwood made me want to write a script about a homosexuell relationship.(I think it's horny if gay men kiss a.s.o., does that bring me away from "straight" by any chance?? ;))
If someone does come across my statement, and is interested, I can't let you read the script, just for the fact that it's in German, and I feel unable to translate it in an adequate way.. It's already been a real challenge to find the right dialogue in my own language!
So thanks again, all of you, and be good!!
Jadzeli

DNF

“Judge less, Love more”

Since: Apr 07

Born in Newark Ohio

#327 Apr 7, 2009
Daniel P from Long Island wrote:
i LOVE fem guys !
:)
oh BIG surprise there girlfriend!

<<wink>>
nora

Sunnyvale, CA

#328 Apr 19, 2009
I didn't realize it until my eighth grade year. I was talking to my older cousin who is a lesbian, and she was coming out to me and another cousin of mine. My other cousin asked how she realized it, and when she was explaining, the light bulb just ... kind of went off.

I just began mentally ticking off my childhood friends, and realized I had had crushes on a few of them.
Lilllith

Portland, OR

#329 Apr 19, 2009
Never. I am neither a guy or into guys.

I did realize that I was a lesbian by the time I was about ten years old and liked chicks THAT way.
Up until then, it was pretty non-sexual. After that, it was all about THAT.

I had my first truly sexual experience when I was about twelve with another young gal about the same age as me. She is also a practicing lesbo last time I saw her. I messed with a bunch of other giirls in junior high, and then nothing in high school at all. So much peer pressure in high school to fit in, that no other girls wanted to take that risk of getting caught, including myself. Plus I was brought in Roman catholic in a VERY conservative family and neighnorhood.

But when college came, the floodgates opened, and I never looked back. When I found the gay and lesbian center on campus, and realized there were actually people out and proud, I went berserk. Most of them were str8 girlz wanting to experiment with another female, and I was more than happy to oblige. Being a gallant butch, I had more action than I could handle. It really hurt my GPA at onew point in my second year. I went from a 4.00 to a 3.50 because I was spleeping all over the GD place. I probably slept with at least 300 different girlz in my college years. Black, white, asian, latino, femme, butch, trans. I didn't care. I was insatiable. I was still dipping into that pool even after I dropped out after two years.

Then I backed way off in my twenties when I started working fulltime to support the family. I was always so tired, I barely had the energy to date let alone f*** anyone. When you average 50 to 60 hour weeks and four to five hours of sleep each night max., sex kinda falls by the wayside.

I didn't even fall in love until I was almost thirty, for the first time. Up until then, sex was just for fun. But when I met that gal, my playah days were over. It didn't last because she was str8, but she was still the best thing ever in my life.

Since then, I dated a few gals seriously, but it's tough after you meet your soulmate. Nobody else can stack up to that one true love, and the comparison is impossible to avoid. For most people, true love only comes along once in a lifetime. If it doesn't work out, that's pretty much it.

Everything else is just a game in comparison.
hamburger

Englewood, CO

#330 Apr 20, 2009
BORNGAY wrote:
4 years old... nothing taught to me, no abuse , nothing negative in the environment.. realized I felt this "attraction" or wanting this "closeness' to men..Looking at them and saying "he's cute' he's hansom! wanting the "closeness" for strong arms around me.. not sexual,, that came later as I was growing up..
and as I look back,, never a desire for the female body even as I was realizing my attraction for men was become stronger.. This was NOT A CHOICE... this was THERE.. GOD MADE ME THIS way. and I'm not the least bit confused or discouraged. I NEVER & WOULD NOT ever considering changing my orientation,... the same way a heterosexual feels about theirs.. Anyone out there have this experience as well??
How soon after your father raped you did you realize you were gay?

Daniel P from Long Island

“Protestant, Gay, Libertarian”

Since: Apr 08

Long Island, NY

#331 Apr 20, 2009
DNF wrote:
<quoted text>oh BIG surprise there girlfriend!
<<wink>>
I've been out for 30 years. I used to run with the drag queen scene for many years, although I am not a drag queen, and I would never do drag. But i DO love drag queens, and STG people.

I have found that MOST gay guys do NOT like fem guys or drag queens of STG people.

I lived with a drag queen for many years and we encountered a lot of hostility from gay people n the bars her eon Long Island.

“Married as I can be!”

Since: Jun 07

Las Vegas

#332 Apr 21, 2009
hamburger wrote:
<quoted text>
How soon after your father raped you did you realize you were gay?
Actually, it was shtupping your MOM that made ME realize.
hse97

Fort Recovery, OH

#333 Jun 10, 2009
i was around 11 and finally decided i was gay at 16 when i made out with this one boy and now u all think im a freak but me and him have been going strong for 2 years now so this shows that love can find anyone

“Your Gods' Rules not mine.”

Since: Apr 07

Indianapolis

#334 Jun 10, 2009
hse97 wrote:
i was around 11 and finally decided i was gay at 16 when i made out with this one boy and now u all think im a freak but me and him have been going strong for 2 years now so this shows that love can find anyone
Good for you! Sorry you've had to face someone hating you but you know that you are a normal loving couple. Go to Pride this weekend and soak up some love and unity from all the GLBTI people and the straight friends and family!!

{{hug}}
KittyPuss

Lineville, AL

#335 Jun 10, 2009
How old were you when you FOUND OUT you were gay? Just as I thought, it IS a choice. YOU ARE NOT BORN GAY< YOU CHOOSE TO BE GAY!!!!!

Since: May 08

Beggs, OK

#336 Jun 10, 2009
KittyPuss wrote:
How old were you when you FOUND OUT you were gay? Just as I thought, it IS a choice. YOU ARE NOT BORN GAY< YOU CHOOSE TO BE GAY!!!!!
How old were you when you FOUND OUT you were growing pubic hair? Just as I thought, it IS a choice. YOU ARE NOT BORN WITH PUBIC HAIR< YOU CHOOSE TO GROW PUBIC HAIR!!!!!

Idiot.

“Your Gods' Rules not mine.”

Since: Apr 07

Indianapolis

#337 Jun 10, 2009
KittyPuss wrote:
How old were you when you FOUND OUT you were gay? Just as I thought, it IS a choice. YOU ARE NOT BORN GAY< YOU CHOOSE TO BE GAY!!!!!
Look bitch, no one asked you into this forum, and its clearly NOT for you so suck it and gtfo.

Found out: why we're not like others
Found out: why opposite sex attraction eludes us.
Found out: why going out on dates with the opposite sex is like asking a PETA member to eat a hot dog.
Found out: why kissing someone of our own sex seems way more exciting to us than to our friends.
Found out: why we didn't like the same toys our friends did.
Found out: that being miserable and unhappy and alone is not a condition of adulthood, only closethood.
Found out: that being attracted to the same sex is no more evil or sick or wrong than being attracted to the opposite sex.
Found out: Opinions are like assholes, everyone has one and most of them stink.

Like yours.

“Your Gods' Rules not mine.”

Since: Apr 07

Indianapolis

#338 Jun 10, 2009
BlueLamp wrote:
<quoted text>
How old were you when you FOUND OUT you were growing pubic hair? Just as I thought, it IS a choice. YOU ARE NOT BORN WITH PUBIC HAIR< YOU CHOOSE TO GROW PUBIC HAIR!!!!!
Idiot.
See, you're way more polite than I am. I wish I knew how to be more civil to these 'phobes.

no I don't :))

“Married as I can be!”

Since: Jun 07

Las Vegas

#339 Jun 10, 2009
KittyPuss wrote:
How old were you when you FOUND OUT you were gay? Just as I thought, it IS a choice. YOU ARE NOT BORN GAY< YOU CHOOSE TO BE GAY!!!!!
I knew I was different from a very early age, maybe three or four. I knew that I had a fascination for men before I was sexually aware probably pre-puberty, eight or nine. I knew what the name for that difference was when I read that awful and frightening book "Everything You Always Wanted to Know About Sex..."
I know now, and have known for several decades that my sexual orientation is not a choice.

DNF

“Judge less, Love more”

Since: Apr 07

Born in Newark Ohio

#340 Jun 10, 2009
hamburger wrote:
<quoted text>
How soon after your father raped you did you realize you were gay?
from the I Ching: When two people are at one in their inmost hearts, they shatter even the strength of iron or bronze; and when two people understand each other in their inmost hearts, their words are sweet and strong like the fragrance of orchids.

DNF

“Judge less, Love more”

Since: Apr 07

Born in Newark Ohio

#341 Jun 10, 2009
KittyPuss wrote:
How old were you when you FOUND OUT you were gay? Just as I thought, it IS a choice. YOU ARE NOT BORN GAY< YOU CHOOSE TO BE GAY!!!!!
Do People Choose Their Sexual Orientation?
- Genes Are Irrelevant to Choice-

Here's another thing most people don't understand: We don't need to discover the genes to know that you don't "choose" your sexual orientation any more than we need to find eye-color genes to know you don't "choose" your eye color. We're closing in on the genes that make us heterosexual or homosexual. Geneticists, using the clinician's research, have begun to look for the underlying biological determinants of heterosexuality, bisexuality, and homosexuality. In ten, twenty, or thirty years, we'll probably have figured it out. We've got the basics already. In early 2005 in the highly-respected biomedical journal Human Genetics, the team of Dr. Brian Mustanski of the University of Illinois at Chicago identified three chromosomal regions linked to sexual orientation in men: 7q36, 8p12, and 10q26. Which is very interesting on a biological level—and it's interesting on a political level in that with only a little more research we may be able to start testing fetuses in utero for their sexual orientation—but it's completely irrelevant to the questions of choice, pathology, distribution in populations, etc. No one questions that blue eyes occur more frequently in Caucasians than in Asians, but we don't know this by finding the genes for eye color; we know it by clinical observation of the distribution of eye color in people all over the world. No one questions that about 7.8% of all human beings are left-handed, but we don't get that information from genes—in fact, as of yet, we have no idea where the genes for handedness are—we get it, again, from clinical observation. The Catholic Church's position is the empirically correct position—the Catholic Church holds that homosexual orientation is an "innate instinct," not a choice or a "lifestyle," and the Church didn't need genes to come to that conclusion; it used empirical observation. We don't need to find the genes for sexual orientation to know that people don't "choose" to be heterosexual any more than we need to find genes for handedness to know that people don't "choose" to be right-handed. Among scientists, this is as obvious as the sky being blue.

http://online.logcabin.org/talking_points/Bur...

“Even an Ice Princess can melt.”

Since: Apr 09

Location hidden

#342 Jun 10, 2009
Dasein9 wrote:
<quoted text>
No problem; I'm used to the questions.
I'm a person born female-bodied and masculine-gendered. The gender clues were showing up strongly even in infancy, as I describe above. My mom had my ears pierced when I was four months old because people were picking up on such strong masculine gender clues at that age.
And I thought for a long time that a masculine woman was always a lesbian, and I even explored possible attraction to women, but it's just not something I could make myself do. So, not a lesbian, but pretty darned butch nevertheless. That's what made it so difficult to get my head around: I sure wasn't straight, but I did like men.
And when we really think about it, people come in bodies and with characters. Now, we have the expectation that a female-bodied person will have a more or less feminine character and that a male-bodied person will have a more or less masculine character. But there's really no reason that they have to go together neatly like that. Sometimes a female-bodied person is just naturally masculine and sometimes a male-bodied person is just naturally feminine.
All I know is that the revelation of knowing that I wasn't the only one like me was huge. I've always been socially awkward -- everyone could tell there was something that didn't fit, but no-one seemed able to put a finger on just what it was. Since I've started coming out, wearing the right clothes, and simply accepting my own gendered behaviour, other people are less uncomfortable around me. I've even gained a bit of popularity, oddly enough. Part of this is self-acceptance, but part of it is that I'm better able to fit cultural expectations; when people see me in a tie they treat me more like the person I really am.
Hugs Das, just gonna add a bit of experiance from the dark side ( MTF =P )

I had a very simular experiance. My first memory is of Telling my mother that the doctor made a mistake when he made me a boy. I always liked girly things to the point my mother would check my room frequently to throw away any girls stuff in it. I was extreemly withdrawn. I Refused to get close to my family because of things they had told me. Like I was possessed by the devil and that if i ever became a girl they would disown me.

I just Recently achieved my 25th birthday last month and im just in awe. I honestly had planned to be dead by now. But accepting myself and living as myself ( You would be suprised on how much Clothing matters) I have Managed to change my outlook on life. I will be honest there are somethings I dont enjoy about being a girl. The mood swings had me thinking I was Bi polar for a while. But overall Im happier. People say I act more natural. They tell me that my responses in conversations are flow more naturally and quickly then they did before. The biggest benifit of living my life as who i am is I dont self harm any more. I grew up blaming myself for everything that went wrong. Things my sisters did, Things that just occured. I used to hit myself with objects and slap myself doing all i could to punish myself for being evil. I dont do that any more. Dont get me wrong I still have my moments but they are no were near as bad as they used to be.

It is very important to let a child be themselves if it wasnt for the one or two friends that I let get close enough to guess that something was wrong i would be dead today. They are the most important woman in my life to this day.

“the baby who would be king!!!!”

Since: Jan 07

fort worth

#343 Jun 11, 2009
DNF wrote:
<quoted text>from the I Ching: When two people are at one in their inmost hearts, they shatter even the strength of iron or bronze; and when two people understand each other in their inmost hearts, their words are sweet and strong like the fragrance of orchids.
beautiful

thank you for posting it

peace and adventure to you !
Disgusted American

Philadelphia, PA

#344 Jun 11, 2009
I knew I was gay (tho I didn't know what IT was,or why I felt THAT way) since at 5..you don't have sex....I just knew I liked looking at boys/men more then girls/women.

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