I am laughing cracking up as if you knew me . i am last one to go out and give sexual advice to men or women and talk about porn. Ha. I act like a prude but only half the time now; and i really run from men that arent into monogamy and looking for a real relationhsip. Sometimes i run before i really knew wjat they wanted and i think back and go what did i do?? he was being nice i think, I am shocked at how much other stuff is thrown at me. You should go for what you want to try. I never tell my son that but i am thinking i better as i divorced his father due to the fact he was almost asexual.I think that means non sexual right? I had a sexless marraige for 5 of out ten years and i started to want it from others so i left him. So this sight here is really helping me out with my life more than i know sometimes. I am finally over my ex gay friend .that too a lot . HE was amazing to me. did things i wont forget and sometimes i i feel i shouldnt have been such a prude and so scared and tried sex with him as he asked me twice. I should not have been so afraid of being hurt as that is how you grow. I have been hurt anyway since. I am middle aged. And doing at all now as i was a lot like you (and my son is too). I was super cautious. Turned down a lot of men (as i was a hottie, ha) and i think it was wrong as i married someone wrong for me to stay safe. nothing is perfect and i really know everyone is different too . there are no rules and you gotta do what you want to do. Try really hard to listen to your gut and what you really want to try and see what you learn.
not saying that porn is very life-like haha.